by Hazel Parker
“I’m at a site.” He answers.
I roll my eyes at him. He has this complex about him because he is the only one that goes to work everyday. The club is my job, I get paid based on fees and prospects, stuff at the bar, but I’m not a wealthy guy, I don’t need to be. For some reason, Simon needs that to tell himself he is worth something. I don’t know if that’s the case, but that’s what it feels like.
“What did you call me for at seven in the morning? Twice.” I growl.
“I talked to my guy in city hall, it doesn’t look good.”
I hear someone call his name in the background and figure he really is at a site right now.
“I gotta go, I’m coming by the club later.” And with that he ends the call. Later could be an hour or ten at night. I thought we had a breakthrough, but I guess this is just how he turned out to be, and I didn’t notice. Like dad did, too busy at the club.
I set my phone down and shag my dishes. I have dozens to do but I just haven’t felt like doing it.
In just my gray sweatpants, I walk around my small house to sit in the living room. I figure if I have to run myself crazy, trying to figure out how to save the club later, then I need the energy to do it. I turn on the television to an old biker show that is incredibly unrealistic. Or maybe I am biased.
I know Isabelle isn’t busy today, but I also know she likes to sleep in. I just really want to hear her voice… fuck it. I call her up and she doesn’t answer until almost the last ring.
“Hey,” she whispers. I know she is sleepy and trying to sound like she isn’t.
“Hey baby, you asleep? I didn’t mean to wake you.” Even though I totally did.
“No, that’s okay. I’ve decided I need to wake up earlier these days.” She yawns and I grin to myself at her cuteness.
“Hmm, it’s nice. You get to see the sun at its highest, have more time in your day.”
“Mmm. Or take a nap.” I hear her stretching out on the bad and imagine what she might be wearing or what she looks like.
“You’re ridiculous… what do you have planned for today?” I ask her.
She giggles, “Um, Riley and I are going out. Shopping or something.”
“Who is Riley?” I ask, I can’t tell if it’s a guy’s name or a girl’s name.
“My roommate, I’ve lived with her for a while. I guess you’ve never really met her. I don’t think you would want to anyway.”
“Why do you say that?” I ask her, half way offended for not knowing why.
“Because, you don’t seem like much of a people person, Jaxson.” I hear her get up and pad around her room. It’s small, as are her feet, she just walks very heavily.
“Well, you got me there.” I agree.
“See?”
“But she’s your roommate, and your friend? If I’m going to be in your life, I should meet her.”
“Okay.” She says, and she sounds so happy, I’m glad I said it.
Even though she was right. I don’t like people. I don’t like having to explain to them who I am or what I do and then watching the flash of judgment cross their faces. And even worse, watching them try to hide it from me as if it doesn’t mean anything. I never had to do that with Isabelle and I realize it is why she means so much to me. She never judged me or tried to change me, tried to tell me what to do. She has only been there for me, a voice of reason that I have needed. Of course I had Mom for that before but it was different, she has to. Isabelle never had to.
“You can come over tonight, when we get back. If you aren’t doing something at the club.”
“I shouldn’t be.”
“Good,” there is some background noise for a while until she settles in. It’s the good thing about being on the phone with her. We can just be doing other things and knowing that she is on the other line is enough for me.
“Do you have to go back to the club today.”
I sigh deeply, “Yeah, actually. I’ve got to hold a meeting.” It reminds me to text the guys and tell them. Back in Dad’s day, they would just ride around to each other’s houses until they are on the road together headed back to the club.
“You sound so official.”
“I guess I am. Why do you like that kind of thing?” I turn it back on her, grinning slightly.
“Yeah, maybe I do.” She giggles.
“Then I guess I’ll have to wear my cut the next time I fuck you.” I growl at her. I swear I can feel her flushing from the other line and picture her cheeks getting all cute and rosy.
“I guess you will.” She sighs, breathless. If I have to get myself off every morning, then she should have to.
I talk to her for a few more minutes before I absolutely have to get ready to go. Being president and all, I can’t be late, plus I’m the one that told them to come.
Once I tug on my jeans and a gray hoodie, I put my cut on over it since the weather has really started to cool down. I set off for my bike, kick it into gear and take the long way to the club, just so I can feel the wind on my face and in my bones.
It relaxes me, being out on the road. The first time dad took me for a ride, I was no taller than his knee, and he made me hold on extra tight and wouldn’t go too fast, but it was still one of the best days of my childhood, that first day on the bike. I got to see what my dad loved so much, and understood it even at a young age. Now that I’ve gotten older, I only get to experience it for myself. It brings me closer to dad, now that he’s gone. This is the first crisis I have had to endure without him, and it must be why it is so hard for me to get through it.
Dad isn’t here to save me and I can’t even save my own club—his club. It can’t be a failure, it would be my greatest failure and the only one that I would remember. So I have to fight like hell, no matter what it takes. Even if it means—
“Drugs? Fuck no.” I bang the gavel, which I never do, but have to because the room is so loud and obnoxious.
Beast is the first one to quiet down, Walker follows suit but it is only because he just joined and probably doesn’t want to get into an argument.
It’s my brothers that are still going at it, talking directly to me.
“Come on, you know Sean and Ethan have been doing it for a while now. How do you think we got top shelf liquor? New equipment for the garage, and why they always seem to have more money than anyone else?”
“They never did it in the name of the club, though.” I tell Zeke.
“Well it worked. And it could keep the club going. One run, with a few of us working, could get us a hundred grand, easy. It’s not transport, it’s security. And we could always play dumb if we got arrested.”
I almost laugh at Zeke but manage not to. He sounds crazy, they all do.
“Sean and Ethan would have to talk to me about it, then.”
“So you’re considering this?” Simon asks. I was surprised when he showed up, but not as much as before.
He started the meeting by telling us that there is basically nothing we can do now except to pay up or lose this place.
And yeah, maybe the club could move somewhere else but if the city hates us then there is nowhere for us to go. It would be the end.
It isn’t just the club and the people. This building has been in the family for years, my family, and then the club as a whole. Losing it would be… the most painful thing I could experience.
“If it saves the club,” I sigh, already regretting it, “then yeah.”
18
ISABELLE
I get to bed late because I have to clean the kitchen, and get paranoid that Riley will still be able to tell, so I end up cleaning the entire place, all the while thinking about Jaxson and the things he did to me… the things he said to me.
That man makes me so dirty I don’t even know what to do with myself. Except day dream about sucking him off and being on my knees for him—seriously, it has happened multiple times. I bet it would be way better than it was with my ex, I didn’t know anything else so I accepted his size but n
ow I know it was subpar. Jaxson is very well endowed, no less than ten inches and it’s not like I have measured, or anything. But that must be a riveting experience, and I want it.
I eat another frozen dinner, thinking of what he said again before I got to bed. Riley gets home so late, she arrives when I am already half asleep. I figure she didn’t notice any sex smells in the kitchen, even though I feel really bad. I felt bad the first time, when I knew how loud I was being while she was trying to sleep. And now in the kitchen. I was so into it, I didn’t even think to move. The downside of having a roommate, I guess. But I know I need to update her about Jaxson at some point, she has been asking but I haven’t known what to say.
And after he said I was his girl, it just made everything better. I don’t have to imagine and guess things anymore, I know what we are and I want to stay that way. I dreamt of him, like I always do. But a more domesticated dream like of him and I living together, or me just riding on the back of his bike. In white. Crazy, I know. but it has never been like this with anyone.
The L word starts to loom in my mind and I shove it away, it can’t be that serious yet. But I feel him in my bones, I think about him all the time and I worry for him. About the things that he worries about. I want to support him, and be there for him, and he does that for me, too; even when he doesn’t understand.
It’s like I feel something inside me when I wake up on my own, and it isn’t the after shock of one of my sex toys last night, thinking of Jaxson until I fell asleep. My instinct is to roll over and go back to sleep, but I don’t. sure enough, my phone starts ringing. I assume it’s Mom, and then anyone else, before I know it is Jaxson and I answer just before it cuts off.
“Hey,” Iwhispers. I try to make my voice sound nice and less like a croaking frog like it does in the morning.
“Hey baby, you asleep? I didn’t mean to wake you.” He asks me, mock worry in his voice. He knows I hate the morning. None of my classes are until twelve.
“No, that’s okay. I’ve decided I need to wake up earlier these days.” I yawn, knowing that it is a total lie anyway.
“Hmm, it’s nice. You get to see the sun at its highest, have more time in your day.” His deep voice rasp through the phone line, almost setting me on fire this early in the morning.
I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, putting my phone on speaker.
“Mmm. Or take a nap.” I stretch out on the bed and my thin tank top stretches over my nipples, pert from the cold. It’s more of a long dress and is all I wear to sleep.
“You’re ridiculous… what do you have planned for today?” he asks me, true interest piking in his voice.
I laugh to myself, “um, Riley and I are going out. Shopping or something.” It was a fleeting conversation and I don’t even know if she was serious or not. The last thing I want to do is make plans and then cancel on her. Because I am at that point where I will spend time with Jaxson before anything else, and I know it’s bad but… it’s Jaxson.
“Who is Riley?” he asks as if I am talking about a guy or something. I know he is the jealous, protective type. It’s literally how we met. But I never thought I would have to worry about that because the men that I am around don’t find me attractive. Playwright types look for thin, conventionally pretty women to star in their plays and be their muse.
“My roommate, I’ve lived with her for a while. I guess you’ve never really met her. I don’t think you would want to anyway.”
“Why do you say that?” he asks, sounding a bit offended and I try to figure out why. It’s true.
“Because, you don’t seem like much of a people person, Jaxson.” I take the opportunity to get out of bed. I stretch out and then go to the bathroom, putting him on mute. I quickly brush my teeth and head to the living room.
“Well, you got me there.” I agree.
“See?” I smile to myself, even though I am trying to figure out what to eat for breakfast.
“But she’s your roommate, and your friend? If I’m going to be in your life, I should meet her.”
“Okay.” I sound chipper as hell and I don’t even care. It is something I have always wanted to hear from him, that he wants to be in my life. That it isn’t just phone calls and rough sex.
“You can come over tonight, when we get back. If you aren’t doing something at the club.” I suggest, though I don’t know if he will want to. I’m not sure I even want to have to entertain.
“I shouldn’t be.”
“Good,”
“Do you have to go back to the club today.” I ask him. I try to sound the least like I am trying to keep tabs on him.
He lets out a deep sigh like he is annoyed, “yeah, actually. I’ve got to hold a meeting.”
“You sound so official.” I think to myself but then realize I have said it out loud. It’s not like I can take it back though.
“I guess I am. Why do you like that kind of thing?” he sounds excited about it, and I flush deep in my cheeks. Now I’m imaging it. Him taking command and holding a meeting with a bunch of other bikers, but being the strongest and in charge. Or maybe just in his leather jacket… anything in that tight leather jacket.
“Yeah, maybe I do.” I admit and giggle nervously to quell my nerves.
“Then I guess I’ll have to wear my cut the next time I fuck you.” He growls and I swear it goes right to my clit. I even press my knees together in response, just thinking about it. I don’t think anyone should have that kind of control over my body, but he does. My pleasure and everything.
“I guess you will.” I am breathless when I respond, not knowing what else to say because I have lost all my concentration. He does that.
We talk for a little while longer until he has to go for his club meeting. He is so busy and stressed out, I worry for him.
It isn’t fair that he feels like it is all on his shoulders, but I can’t discount his feelings or tell him that it doesn’t really matter. It does. I just wish I could help him.
Instead I clear my head and venture to make breakfast. I just went shopping so I am lucky to find the ingredients for an omelet. I start on coffee and get the television going, some old biker show that before I met Jaxson, I thought was really realistic. It isn’t.
Riley comes shuffling out of her bedroom, in her gray robe and fuzzy slippers. She looks absolutely beat.
“You look beat.” I tell her aloud.
She forces a smile. “I had a long night.” She doesn’t answer me until she pours coffee and has a few sips. I thought she was ignoring me.
She sits on the island in front of the stove. I face her as I stir the eggs.
“Really? What happened?” I am just glad she didn’t sit on the counter where she normally does, because that’s where Jaxson and I had sex last night.
“Some server got in an altercation with a customer. Some pregnant lady had an allergy and the server didn’t know the steak was cooked in butter. She literally started yelling at her, and she’s only in high school, she started crying in front of everyone, it was so sad.”
“Oh no,” I gasp. Some people are just crazy. Riley sips more coffee and then nods.
“I know, I was pissed for her. There’s no reason to yell, especially since I found out she only avoids it by choice, she isn’t allergic. I resolved it but she even yelled at me and you know I can’t take yelling. Me and the server cried together.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, so we stayed late at the bar drinking—not the high school girl. Just me and the bartenders and bus boys. They’re nice to me, said I am their favorite manager.” She smiles softly.
I grin at her, “You are good at your job. How did you get her to calm down?” I flip the omelet and turn it.
“I comped her meal, her husband was there the whole time and he didn’t say anything. She must be crazy.”
“Damn. Some people just shouldn’t eat out.”
“Thank you!”
We laugh together. I finish making
breakfast for the both of us, and I know it’s coming before I even get halfway through my meal.
“So, how is Jaxson?”
I flush beat red and avoid looking at the counter.
“Good. Last night he said that I’m his girl,” I try not to smile but I fail. She squeezes my leg and I laugh at her.
“Oh my god. You know that means you’re like, more than his girlfriend to him? Men do that all the time. Oh and maybe you can be his old lady?” She nudges me.
I shake my head at her, all she does is grin with her whole face and laugh as her curly hair shakes.
“Maybe. I don’t know. He is having a hard time at the club and I just hope he makes it through.”
“Aw, me too. He has made you so happy. And well fucked.”
I spit my orange juice. “Shit Riley, I’m really sorry about that.” I plead. She only shakes her head and laughs.
“Please, I used to come home to my roommate literally having sex near the front door, it’s fine.”
“I still feel bad… and embarrassed.”
“Come on, don’t be embarrassed. Anyone getting sex good enough to literally shriek should not feel bad about anything. He seems to like it too.” She shrugs.
“Really?” I look at her cautiously. Riley likes to mess with me like that sometimes.
And I have been worried about Jaxson because it is obvious that he likes to have sex a certain way. It isn’t even sex, technically, it is a very rigorous fucking. I feel like he has to tug me along sometimes and is used to a woman who can be as open as he is, as vigorous.
“Yeah girl, men don’t usually moan. And he moans like the fucking titanic.”
I giggle to myself. “I guess I didn’t notice.” I wipe the last bit of egg off my plate and pop it into my mouth, the last thing I am focusing on is the flavor of it.
“I didn’t know that.”
“Well, it’s true. And the way he growls your name… oh my god. I had to stop listening before I would never be able to look you in the eye again.”
I nudge her as we laugh, “Oh shut up.” I get up and take our plates to the sink. We do this for each other sometimes, cook and then clean afterwards, and it looked like she was having a rough time, so I helped her out today.
