by Layne, Ivy
“Not really. It's a night terror, like a nightmare, but he can't wake up. It happened a few times after Trey died. Scared the heck out of me.”
Almost inaudible, Adam continued to whimper, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”
“He doesn't see you?”
“I don't think so. The first time it happened it broke my heart. He was calling for me, and I was right there, but he didn't see me. Couldn't hear me.”
“What do we do?” Knox reached out to brush Adam's sweat-damp hair off his forehead, cupping my son's cheek in his big hand, worry spread across his features.
“This,” I said, rocking Adam against me. “Just this. Hold him and reassure him until it passes.”
“Is this from yesterday?”
“Probably.”
Knox let out a heavy sigh. “Lily, I'm sorry. I should've known. I should've stopped it from happening.”
“Knox, don't. Don't do that. You told me we can't go back. We could hash out what if's forever and it wouldn't do us any good. If I'd known Trey was involved with the mob. If you'd realized they'd come after us. Even if you had, who would have expected six of them to attack in the middle of the night?”
“I should have kept you safe,” Knox said.
“Stubborn,” I said. “Knox, this is one thing I've learned since having Adam. I can't keep him safe from everything. I can try. I do my best. That's all you can do. Try your hardest and hope it's enough. Last night, it was enough. We're here. We're safe.”
“Adam—”
“—will be okay. I promise, Knox. He'll be okay.” I thought wistfully of where we'd been a few minutes before, half-naked on the sofa, Knox filling my mouth. “I'm sorry about—”
I couldn't bring myself to say what I was thinking. I'm sorry we were interrupted. I really wanted you to come in my mouth.
I'm an adult. Talking about sex shouldn't be that big a deal. In the heat of the moment, it wasn't. Now, with my terrified five-year-old cradled in my arms, I couldn't bring myself to say the words.
I didn't need to. Knox's arm tightened around me before his lips pressed gently into my hair. “Lily, don't ever apologize for taking care of your son. Ever. I can wait. Adam can't.”
His arm dropped, and he stood, ordering, “Stay right here.”
Like I was going anywhere. Knox strode from the room, returning a few minutes later missing his pants, his button-down traded for a well-worn T-shirt.
I didn't look. I swear I didn't look. Okay, just a peek.
Sadly, his erection had subsided. Not really sad, considering we wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but as impressive as his erection had been, I couldn't help but miss it.
I owed him one. Two if I wanted to get technical.
Knox sat beside me again and reached for Adam. “Let me take him for a minute. You can change into something else. I think we all need some sleep.”
Not sure what would happen, I leaned forward, passing Adam into Knox's strong arms. Adam continued to mumble my name under his breath but turned into Knox's heat, pressing his cheek to Knox's chest.
I imagined the thump of Knox's strong heart under his ear, the rhythmic sound reassuring on an instinctive level. Adam's tightly wound muscles relaxed a fraction. Knox dropped his head, his chin resting on the top of Adam's head, crooning softly, “Shhh, Adam. Everything's okay. Everything's okay.”
Tears hit my eyes at the sweetness. Adam had a father for the first four years of his life, but he'd never had this. Never had a man read him a story. Never had a man offer him a shoulder ride. Never had a man hold him in his arms and promise him he'd be okay.
I tore my eyes from Knox holding my son and went through my bag in search of the nightgown I'd packed. A stretchy version of the sundress I'd worn to dinner, it had narrow straps, a V-neck, and swirled around my knees. Patterned with white clouds wearing sleeping caps, it was cute and a little silly.
I took the nightgown into the bathroom, getting ready for bed quickly in case Adam needed me. Knox didn't seem to mind cute or silly, his eyes flaring when I walked out of the bathroom.
He stood, carrying Adam. “Is there anything you need from in here?” I shook my head, confused, following Knox as he crossed the suite to the other bedroom, explaining, “My bed is bigger. We'll sleep in there.”
My heart melted. Not only did Knox understand that I intended to sleep with Adam, he was going to stay with us. He held my baby like he was precious, carrying him to bed and laying him between us, taking the spot closest to the door. Protecting us every way he could.
I slid beneath the covers, looking over Adam's head to Knox, his eyes heavy with exhaustion, his arm thrown over Adam, fingers wrapped around mine.
“Sleep, Lily,” he said, his voice rough.
I did.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lily
Adam seemed fine when we woke in the morning. So did Knox, a glint shining in his dark eyes when he pressed a good-morning kiss to my lips.
In the light of day, memories of the night before left me flustered, a little shy, and a lot turned on.
We headed out to breakfast, then back to the beach, pretending we were a normal family on a normal holiday. I didn't realize how on edge I was until Knox's cell phone rang. The conversation was short, mostly consisting of ‘uh-huh's’ on Knox's side before he hung up.
“There's a team at your house fixing the back door and tightening security. Alice got us a late checkout at the hotel. We can go back to the hotel in a few hours, have lunch, and head home. Okay?”
“Sounds good,” I agreed, mentally quailing at the thought of going back to my house.
Knox wouldn't bring us there if he didn't think it was safe. I knew that. The idea of walking through the door still made me feel a little sick.
It didn't matter. We had to go back.
Knox was going to help me search the house. Given his job, I was sure his search would be a lot different than mine, especially since he didn't have to hide it from me anymore.
We were going to find Adam's birth certificate and the adoption contract. Maybe we'd even find the account numbers Andrei Tsepov wanted. Then we'd be free. All of us. Knox, me, and Adam.
What then? I wondered for the first time in months.
Since the moment I'd realized Adam's birth certificate was missing, I'd stopped planning for the future. Without Adam, there was no future.
If I had Adam's papers, and Knox had his account numbers, would that be it? Nice knowing you, thanks for the good time?
I'd only known Knox for a week. It was probably a little too soon to think about where things were going, but I've never been a fling kind of girl.
Watching Knox with Adam, I knew I didn't want this to be a fling. I wanted Knox. I wanted him for me. I wanted him for my son.
I didn't think about finding someone else after Trey died. He'd been gone for less than a year, and I'd had worries about Adam to occupy my time. On top of that, Black Rock is a small town with a very limited pool of available men.
Even more limited when I considered that Trey and I had been the only mixed-race couple in Black Rock. Maine isn't exactly overflowing with diversity. I'd bet there were more than a few single men in town who wouldn't mind a date but wouldn't want to bring me home to their mom's for Sunday dinner.
It was hard enough to imagine finding a man I could love for me. It wasn't just about me anymore. Everything I did affected Adam. Any man I chose had to love him, too.
Too soon, Lily, way too soon. One dinner out, one bedtime, and you're sizing Knox up to be your new baby daddy. First, you have to get past all this other crap. Then you can think about forever.
I was trying to keep my head straight. Really.
I tried not to let Knox dig deeper into my heart every time he picked Adam up and tossed him into the freezing water, every time Adam screamed with
delight and begged, “Do it again, Mr. Knox! Do it again.”
I closed my eyes as a secret part of me imagined whispering the exact same thing. Do it again, Mr. Knox.
I watched my little boy play in the ocean and tried not to think about that box of chocolates and everything Knox had done with them.
Inappropriate, Lily, I reminded myself.
Inappropriate maybe, but I couldn't forget a second of it. Couldn't help but wonder when we could do it again. Not soon enough.
We had enough time after the beach to rinse off and throw our stuff in our duffel bags before we had to check out of the hotel. We made a quick stop for sandwiches, Knox getting another lobster roll, and Adam mysteriously not complaining about his wiggly tooth as he devoured a meatball sub.
One more stop for drive-through coffee, and we were headed back to Black Rock. Adam fell asleep on the drive. Knox dropped his hand to tangle his fingers with mine, and we rode in peaceful quiet all the way home.
When we pulled in the driveway, everything looked exactly as it should. No bodies in the front yard. No blood stains on the dock or the front porch. No visible signs of increased security.
The only thing that didn't fit was the large, shiny, black SUV parked in front of the house. Knox took a long look at the SUV and swore under his breath, “Fuck me,” too quiet for Adam to hear, loud enough that I knew he was not happy.
“What? What is it?”
With a reassuring smile, he squeezed my fingers once before he let go. “Nothing's wrong, Lily. Just company I wasn't expecting. Brace yourself.”
Instead of opening the garage, he pulled the Land Rover up behind the SUV and jumped out, taking a minute to free Adam from his car seat. Not wanting to miss whatever was going on, I hopped out and joined them as the visitors in the SUV got out.
There were three of them. A man with dark hair and apple-green eyes, so tall and broad he made Knox look normal sized.
I swallowed hard. There was something about him—he looked like he'd been carved from granite. This was not a guy I'd like to piss off.
From the back seat on the driver's side emerged another man, as tall as Knox but not quite as broad, with sandy, close-cropped hair, and a roguish grin on his lips as he said, “Hey, y'all.”
Knox shot him a dirty look. “Don't 'Hey, y'all' me. What the f—” A quick catch of the profanity. “What are you doing here, Griffen? I asked for Jackson. Not you.”
From the other side of the car came a female voice brimming with laughter. “You didn't ask for me either, Knox, but you got all three of us.”
Knox's dark eyes rolled to the sky in irritation. A woman came around the side of the SUV, a little taller than me, with ocean-blue eyes and tousled, chin-length auburn curls. She took the arm of the behemoth Knox had called Jackson. This must be Lucas Jackson, the computer expert.
I didn't have to be a genius to figure out that the woman, whoever she was, was with him. I'd heard him mention Griffen, so it wasn't a tough guess that Griffen worked with them.
“You must be Lily,” the woman with Lucas Jackson said. “And you have to be Adam.” She held out her hand to Adam. Pleased to be treated like an adult, he took her hand and gave it a firm shake.
“I'm Adam Spencer. What's your name?” Adam asked.
“My name is Charlie Jackson. I'm married to this big guy here.” She tipped her head at the giant beside her before turning to me. “Sorry for the invasion. Lucas has been gone for a week, then he came home and walked right into Evers' thing. I wasn't letting him take off for Maine without me. Griffen tagged along to be nosy.”
“Excuse me, Griffen tagged along to be nosy?” Griffen asked with a roll of his eyes. She laughed again, not the least bit offended.
“Okay, Griffen and I tagged along to be nosy. Cooper wanted to come, but he couldn't leave the office.”
“I'll bet,” Knox said, looking less than happy at the arrangements.
With another wide smile, Charlie went on, “Really, sorry for the invasion. We won't be any trouble, I promise.”
“That's a laugh,” Knox said from beside me. “All you know how to be is trouble, Charlie.”
“That's not true!”
With a laugh that sounded like rocks grinding together, Lucas Jackson squeezed his wife against his side. “It is true, Princess. But I like you that way.” Her cheeks flushed, and she leaned into his embrace.
“The honeymoon is over, guys. Enough of the PDA,” Griffen grumbled.
Lucas shot him a derisive look. “That's why you're still single. The honeymoon is never going to be over.” Charlie beamed at her husband.
Adam piped up, “Are they gonna kiss now?”
“I hope not, little man,” Griffen said. “Let's get this stuff unloaded, just in case.”
Knox emptied the Land Rover of everything but the beach toys, dropping our bags on the front porch. “I'll bring the stuff upstairs in a minute. Don't touch it while I park the car”
“Yes, sir,” I said with only a little sarcasm. If he wanted to bring the bags up, I wasn't going to argue. I had two beds to make.
Following my train of thought, Knox said, too quietly to be overheard, “I'm staying with you. Why don't you give Lucas and Charlie the cottage?”
I stared at him blankly for a second. He was staying with me? Like, in my bed?
Well, what else would that mean, Lily? Duh.
The real question was, did I mind?
It took a millisecond for my brain to answer with a resounding, No! Of course not, you idiot. Why would you mind having that man in your bed?
My internal debate flashed through my mind, leaving me speechless. All I managed was, “Okay. I'll go make the beds.”
Knox dropped a quick kiss on the corner of my mouth before turning back to the Land Rover. Adam started to follow him, but I grabbed his hand, leaning down to whisper, “Do you need the bathroom after that long ride?”
His eyes flashed wide as if he'd only just realized he needed to go. Turning on his heel, he bolted for the front door. I raced ahead to unlock it, letting him in before disaster struck.
I was well acquainted with the vagaries of the five-year-old bladder. If Adam was running for the bathroom, I'd better make sure he had a clear path.
It wasn't long before the guys were sequestered in Trey's office, talking business. I probably should have insisted on being there. This was my house. I was technically a client. My dead husband was their father's partner. So many reasons I should have been a part of whatever plan they were cooking up.
I didn't want to. I wanted to let Knox handle it.
This is how you got into trouble with Trey. You let him take the lead. You didn't ask the tough questions.
Knox wasn't Trey. He wasn't.
I know my judgement about men isn't the best. If it were, I never would have married Trey in the first place. I couldn't stop wondering if I was being a fool again. Was I putting my trust in another man who would only use me and leave me worse off than before?
No. I wouldn't believe that about Knox, no matter what my lingering doubts whispered in my ear. Knox was here to help. They all were. What would I have to offer in whatever conversation they were having in Trey's office? I wasn't a security expert. I knew nothing about Trey's business. I'd only be in the way.
I couldn't quite convince myself that letting Knox take over was the right thing to do. But, with Adam curled up on the couch in front of a cartoon, tired from spending most of the day at the beach, and guest rooms to prepare for my visitors, I had other things to worry about.
I could press Knox for details later.
I needed to get organized. I'd have to run into town to pick up something to make for dinner, but first I wanted to deal with the guest rooms.
Charlie tagged along with me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lily<
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Ican help,” Charlie said, “it's the least I can do for showing up uninvited and unannounced.”
“I don't mind, you're more than welcome,” I said automatically, before realizing that it was true.
I was curious. It was clear that Griffen and Lucas were more than co-workers, Charlie more than a co-worker's wife. They were friends. Good friends. I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to learn more about Knox by getting to know the people he cared about.
Charlie trailed behind me down the path to the cottage, her arms filled with folded towels. When the cottage came into sight, she exclaimed, “It's adorable! Is it original to the property, or did you build it?” Under her breath, she mumbled to herself, “Looks original. That roof is gorgeous.”
“It was here when we bought the land, and I talked my husband into renovating it. It's perfect, isn't it?”
Charlie followed me inside, taking in every detail from the fireplace to the rustic furniture. She dumped the towels on the bed and circled the room. “Lucas and I flip houses,” she said, explaining her interest.
“I thought Lucas was a computer expert at Sinclair Security.”
“He is. He's been very part-time these days with the renovations. Things have been busy at Sinclair. I have my contractor's license, so I manage most of our work. I bet this was fun. I'd love to get my hands on something like this. You did a great job bringing it back to life.”
“Thanks.” A warm glow spread through me at her praise. I loved the little cottage. “Knox thought since you and Lucas hadn't seen each other in over a week, you might want some privacy.”
“Much appreciated,” Charlie agreed, moving her stack of towels to the bathroom and coming over to help me remake the bed with fresh sheets.
“Lucas doesn't travel often. Not like he used to before we were together, but every once in a while, he goes out of town on a longer trip. This one felt like it lasted forever. Then, just when he got back, Evers' thing happened. He never even made it home. Ran into Cooper in the parking garage. They worked around-the-clock on that, and by the time he got home last night he fell right into bed.”
