by Ruby Dixon
She gives me a shy look and ignores my extended hand, just nodding and leaning on Bek a bit more.
“Right,” I say cheerily, determined not to be bothered by her reluctance. “It’s kinda cold for a glove to come off anyhow.”
S’bren puts a heavy hand atop my shoulder. “I am S’bren. P’nee is my mate.”
I love the fierce pride in his voice, and I no longer feel like a lumbering ox. God, I adore this guy.
Elly casts a curious look up to Bek. As if they share a brain, he’s the one that speaks the question on both their minds. “Resonance?”
“No,” S’bren says before I can speak. “We are wed-hing when we return to the tribe.”
“Eh?” Bek looks confused.
“Human mating,” Elly says in a small voice. She squeezes her mate’s arm. “It’s a ceremony.”
And she smiles at me, and I feel like I just befriended the world’s shyest puppy. Elly really is shy, and I feel a wave of sympathy for her. I know how hard this is for me and I’m a people person. I can’t imagine how much of a struggle it is when you’re not. Oddly enough, I think of S’bren and his awkward attempts to get to know me. How he’d stand off to a distance and just watch. I think of the fish he thrust at me, wordless, because he didn’t have the right words to say. I might never have fallen in love with S’bren if he hadn’t saved my life that day, and he went from awkward to hero.
Elly and I are going to become friends, I decide. So I beam at her and put on my most confiding look. “Gail’s going to be thrilled. She’s told us so much about you.”
Her hesitant expression changes to one of pure pleasure. “I miss Gail.”
“Well, she’s at the beach and has her hands full with Z’hren.” I think for a moment, and then add, “And Vaza. That guy’s a bit of a handful himself.”
Bek snorts.
S’bren’s thumb rubs against the side of my neck in an almost absent fashion, but it lights up all the nerve endings in my skin. “We came here to look at the star.”
“Yes!” I say enthusiastically, clutching the folded parachute to my chest. “We saw it fall from the sky a few days ago and chased after it.”
“Foolish,” Bek says. “It could be dangerous.”
“That is what I said,” S’bren agrees. “But my mate will not be swayed.”
Elly hesitates for a moment, her expression uncertain. She looks up at her mate, and then back at us. “We’ve seen it. It’s not a star.”
“We figured that the moment we saw this,” I tell them, gesturing at the parachute. “And I know it could be something dangerous, but it could also be a person needing help, and so we felt like we had to come look, dangerous or not. We didn’t expect to run into you guys.”
S’bren clears his throat. “If we are such fools to come after it, why are you here?”
I could swear that Bek’s hard mouth twitches in an almost-smile. “Because we are fools, too. And because we needed to know what it was and to see if it was a threat.”
“It’s a cargo trunk,” Elly adds in a breathless voice. “I’ve seen one…before.” And she goes silent, leaning a little closer to Bek.
Oh. An awkward silence falls and I don’t know what to say. It’s clear that “before” has a lot of bad connotations for Elly, and I don’t want to run roughshod over her feelings, so I go silent.
“Well,” S’bren says after a long moment of quiet. “I did not drag my mate through the snow to play with angry, furry beasts. I came to show her a star. Have you claimed it for yourselves?”
“No,” Bek says. “It is in the snow where it landed. We were not sure what to think of it. Now that you are here, we can all decide together.”
I slip my hand into S’bren’s. “Let’s check it out, then.”
If it’s a cargo trunk like Elly says it is, it’s the weirdest-looking trunk I’ve ever seen.
The darn thing looks like a monolith from an old science fiction movie, perfectly smooth and dark. It’s lying on the ground, a dusting of snow over it, and it just looks like a huge, unnatural slab that happened to plop down to the ground.
I approach it, holding onto S’bren’s hand, and then reach out and touch the surface of it, dusting snow off. It just looks…like a rock. “You’re sure this is it?” Of course, I feel silly the moment I say it aloud. If I had to pick what in this valley doesn’t belong, this rock is obviously, obviously it. It doesn’t belong. It’s only got a light dusting of snow on it, which means that it hasn’t been here long compared to the rest of the half-buried rocks that lie at the foot of the cliffs. “I mean, I’m sure it’s the thing we saw fall. It’s just baffling to me because…it just looks like a rock.”
When I turn to look at Elly, she just shrugs and holds onto Bek’s arm a little tighter, her face pale.
I let go of S’bren’s hand and dust snow off the top of the thing with my gloves. Sure enough, some of the fat white flakes catch in a too-straight line, showing a hairline seal all around the edge. As I smooth the snow off, I realize that the top isn’t rounded like a stone at all—it’s flat like a table.
Or like a coffin.
My skin prickles and I eye the length of it warily. It’s maybe eight feet long? Four feet wide? It could be big enough to be a coffin. Or one of those suspended animation pods. “Do you…think there’s someone in here?”
“We do not know,” Bek says. “My Elly says that trunks like this have a locking mechanism where only the person it is for can open it.”
I dust off more snow, and sure enough, there’s a small panel with what looks like a gleaming shiny square on it that does nothing when I press on it. There’s no response whatsoever. I try pressing my thumbprint to it, and tapping, and I get no answer. “Well, this trunk is clearly not for me.”
“Then who is it for?” S’bren asks, standing over me protectively as I crouch near it. “Who is sending a trunk to our planet?”
“I want to know who it is that knows someone is here.” Bek’s voice is hard. “And if we are in danger of more unwanted visitors.”
S’bren’s hand tightens on my shoulder and I touch his fingers. I’m not sure if I’m reassuring him or me. We destroyed the ship we arrived in because we didn’t want someone coming back to hunt for it or following any trace signals it might have sent out. But what if we did anyhow? What if someone out in space knows that we’re here and is sending us a message? Is it a good message or a bad message?
Are we in danger or not?
I chew on my lip, thinking. “So what do we do if we can’t get it open?”
“We take it back to the beach,” S’bren says suddenly. “M’dok is smart. He will know how to open it.”
I look over at Bek and Elly, and they’re exchanging a quiet look. “It’s as good an idea as any,” I admit. “Unless you have a different thought.”
Elly gives a small shake of her head, and Bek looks over at us. “We will take it to the beach with you unless it proves dangerous. I will not risk my mate’s safety.”
“I will not risk P’nee,” S’bren agrees. “But if there is a person inside this rock, we should try to save them.”
My chest squeezes. S’bren has such a pure heart. How could I possibly love this man more?
We spend the rest of the afternoon rigging up a travois to drag the rock back with us. The parachute material is slippery and glides over the snow, and already has cords built in to the edges, so it makes sense to use it. I’m a little sad because I’ve been planning on making clothes out of that slick material (or at the very least a snow cape) but it doesn’t make sense to waste a bunch of leathers on it instead.
The space-trunk isn’t all that heavy despite its massive size. Bek and S’bren are able to roll it onto its side, over and over again until it plops onto the parachute. We make padded straps and harnesses for the men, and Bek and S’bren test out how they feel on their shoulders. They test out tugging it along, and it moves easily enough. We drag it back to the cave Bek and Elly are staying at, and then w
e all camp out for the evening, preparing to take off in the morning.
It’s a nice night, hanging out with Bek and Elly. She’s not very chatty, and my mind is working a dozen ways, so I snuggle against S’bren’s side and listen to the two men talk about hunting stories. I’m trying not to panic, because I knew this day was coming eventually. We’re going home.
Back to the beach.
Part of me is happy about that. While the travel has been interesting enough, I’m tired of blizzards and we’re insulated from the worst of it in our small cove on the beach. I’m ready to get back and talk to Nadine and Harlow and Gail and all the others. I’m ready to find out what’s going on with the tribe and to relax without a day of fighting the weather. I’m ready to see the hut S’bren has been quietly making on the side, the one he says he made for me all along.
I’m ready to start a life with him.
I’m just worried I won’t get the chance. We haven’t resonated in all the long days that we’ve been gone from the group, and I’m terrified that the moment we get back, my cootie’s going to light up for someone else. Someone other than S’bren. It’ll break me.
But we can’t stay away forever. They’re going to send out search parties looking for us and that’s not fair to those that have to go looking for us in the dead of the brutal season. And S’bren has a brother back on the beach, and his small clan. He can’t just leave and never go back. I can’t either.
I think about it a lot this night, though. Like, a lot.
I just don’t want to lose S’bren now that I’ve got him.
It grows late and the fire is banked. I curl up against him under the furs and try to sleep—no hanky-panky tonight, not with the tight quarters of the cave making every sound obvious. Tomorrow we head back for the beach, bright and early. It’ll be a slow journey back, dragging the space-trunk, and hiding out from the worst of the weather. There’s still plenty of time before we return…but it doesn’t feel like enough.
S’bren and I have barely begun to explore each other. We haven’t even had sex yet. He wanted to wait for our wedding, but now I’m wondering if that was a mistake. What if resonance screws us out of the wedding?
I sleep fitfully, worried.
I wake up early, rubbing my eyes, to the sound of a whimper, and a murmur of voices. It takes me a moment to realize where I’m at, and when I open my eyes, I see Elly scrambling out of the furs to the entrance of the cave. She pushes the privacy screen aside and drops to her knees, then pukes in the snow.
Bek gets to his feet, heading after her. I sit up in the blankets, feeling a little uncomfortable as I watch Elly barf her guts up. They resonated, I remember, and so she’s pregnant. This sort of thing is normal for them, and Bek doesn’t seem all that worried. Sympathetic, yes, but not frightened.
S’bren sits up, his big, warm body pressing against my back. “Is she well?”
“Morning sickness, I think,” I whisper to him. “It’ll pass.”
He presses a kiss to my brow. “I will make tea.”
I watch S’bren stir the fire and put water on. I dress, glancing over every now and then to check on Elly as she hunches over at the mouth of the cave. Bek is at her side, and he’s got a fur over her shoulders to keep her warm. He murmurs soft things to her, holding her hair back and stroking her shoulder. Eventually she rolls to her side and lies with her head resting against his thigh, still at the mouth of the cave in case she needs to puke again. He pulls out a pouch of hard, dried food and offers her a wedge of something. She nibbles on it, grimacing at the taste, but takes teeny tiny bites anyhow.
I’m envious at the sight of them.
Not of the puking, of course, but at how completely united they are. How tender he is as he takes care of his mate. She’s pregnant with his baby. She’s clearly in love. They have everything and no one can take them away from each other. In this moment, I’m a little jealous. I want the everything. I want the fairy tale.
S’bren steps in front of my gaze as I sit, holding my boot. He holds a cup out to me, silent. I glance up at him and I can see there’s a question in his eyes. I know it’s there. Being around Elly and Bek has changed our dynamic, just a little. He’s back to being a bit awkward this morning, as if he’s not sure where he stands with me. We don’t have resonance to tie us together, after all.
He nudges the cup toward me a second time. “Surprise tea.”
Right. Because I like surprises, and he remembers that. Just like that, my envy vanishes. I don’t need what someone else has. I only need my S’bren. I give him a brilliant smile, trying to quietly show him all the affection I feel. “You always think of me.”
“Always.”
That’s all I ever needed, truly.
24
S’BREN
The way back to the beach is slow. The weather is bad, and Bek insists on stopping at every hunter cave we pass so his pregnant mate can rest. We move at a crawling pace as it is, dragging the unwieldy stone behind us. It is not heavy—not with two of us pulling it across the snow—but it is bulky and the weather does not help.
My P’nee never complains, though. She is all smiles, walking at my side when the weather is good, and sitting atop the stone with El’ee when the snows are particularly deep and make walking difficult for the humans. When we stop at a cave to rest for the day, P’nee takes charge, ensuring that El’ee is comfortable and making tea. The twig-like El’ee is very quiet, but P’nee is determined to be her friend and chatters at her all day long. I think her talking makes Bek irritated, but his mate seems happy so he says nothing.
I think he is also irritated that he has no time alone with his mate. I know how this feels. Being with P’nee under the furs, sharing warmth and breath and pressing skin to skin…and not able to touch? It is difficult, and her closeness makes me unable to think of anything except touching her, stroking my hands over her soft skin, sliding between her thighs and tasting her sweet honey.
There is none of that, though. Quarters are cramped and cold, and if I so much as sigh, everyone is aware of it. So we wait for a better time to be alone, and steal little touches here and there. P’nee pushes her hands under my tunic, pretending to warm them, and slides them into my pants. Or she lifts up her tunic while we rest under the furs and lets the tips of her nipples graze over my skin, an innocent expression on her face that I cannot wipe away because Bek and his little mate sit a short distance away.
It makes the evenings exciting…but long.
And on we travel, with many pauses to rest. Little by little, we creep toward the distant beach, and as we do, I notice my P’nee grows quieter, her laughter a little more forced. She worries over something. Whenever I ask, though, she just smiles and takes my hand in her gloved one.
“It’s nothing.”
I know it is something, though. I have always watched P’nee. I know her happy smiles, her laughter, and when she is sad. I know when she is angry, and I certainly know when she is troubled. She will not share it with me, though, and this worries me even more.
How can I fix it for her if she will not tell me what it is?
“Do you recognize this cave?” Bek asks as we slide the stone to a stop in front of the hunter cave for the evening.
It is barely dark, but it is cold out and El’ee shivers atop the stone, so he wishes to make camp. I understand this. It is hard for me to see P’nee shivering in the wind, and today has been especially chilly. I will stop a dozen times in a day if it means P’nee is comfortable. My gaze wanders over to my yellow-maned female and she has a distant look on her face, the same worried one she has worn for days.
Bek kicks snow onto my boot, getting my attention.
“Hm?” I drag my gaze away from my sad mate and back to him. “What?”
“Do you recognize this cave?” he asks again, gesturing at the rocky surface.
“It is a cave.” I give him a puzzled look. “Is it special?”
He rolls his eyes at me even as snow begins to fall h
eavily, the wind picking up. “It is the last one before we make it to the beach.”
“It is?” I am astounded. I stare at the entrance, noting the familiar triangular shape of it. I have been here before, I realize, but one cave looks much the same as another after a time. “I did not realize we were that close.”
“We are. Tomorrow we take this rock back to the camp and see what they think of it.” He pauses, shrugging off the harness. “Also, this cave has an extra chamber.”
I scratch my head, trying to follow his thoughts. “So?”
Bek sighs and rubs a hand down his face. He moves toward me, glancing over at El’ee and P’nee once, and then pulls at the front of my tunic, forcing me to lean forward. “Are you going to be in trouble with the chief when we return? For being alone with her for so long?” He cocks his head at P’nee.
I feel uneasy at his words. I think of R’jaal, who wants a mate so desperately. And Raahosh, who will surely not approve of me stealing P’nee away. “They will not be happy, no.”
“This cave has two chambers,” he says again. “I know you both feel strongly for each other. But your mate is unhappy. Your tribe is unhappy. You might not be able to change how they think, but you can at least make your mate smile.” He releases my tunic and then dusts the snow off of it. “I am going to take the back room of the cave for myself and my mate. She is nervous about meeting your tribe and I am going to make her happy tonight.”
And he gives me one last look and then heads toward his female, hands extended. “Come, my mate,” he says. “I will make a fire so you can warm up.” He casts one last look in my direction, then grabs his spear and his pack, and heads into the cave. El’ee is a step behind him. Then it is just myself and my P’nee outside. The cold wind bites into my skin, and it is increasingly difficult to see farther than my hand. I am baffled by what Bek said.
