The deep ache that lodges in my core at every whimper, every moan, and every wriggle.
This girl has cast a spell on me, and I’m fucked. I am so fucked, and that is a major problem.
I pull her legs up to my shoulder, and my cock jerks at the sight of those fuck-me shoes. I pound into her with a new fierceness, pouring all my frustration and helplessness into every thrust of my hips. My balls tighten just as a lick of fire shoots up my spine. I rub her clit vigorously as my body strains, sinewy muscle locking up, preparing to explode. Sweat glides down my spine, and she’s bucking and writhing, crying and whimpering, as I slam into her, consumed by need and anger and frustration.
“Come for me, babe. Right fucking now,” I gruffly demand, pinching her clit hard as my orgasm rips through me like a tidal wave. I shout out, flexing my hips, driving into her deep as cum shoots into the condom. She screams, clenching around me, and my cock jerks another couple times.
I collapse on her, holding her through the last few waves of her release, and then, I roll to my side, taking her with me, hugging her sweat-slickened body against mine.
“Jackson,” she rasps in a breathy tone. My eyes lower to her glassy-filled gaze. “That was—”
“Everything,” I blurt.
She nods as tears roll down her face, but she’s smiling and gazing at me like I hung the fucking moon in the night sky.
I press her face into my chest, unable to look her in the eye any longer, feeling like the biggest piece of shit to ever walk the earth.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jackson
I RISE FIRST the following morning after a fitful sleep. Nessa slept soundly all night, cradled to my front, unaware of the torment twisting and turning my stomach into knots.
Somehow, I’ve caught feelings for her, and that wasn’t supposed to happen. All it will do is make this so much worse when it comes to an end.
And it will come to an end.
It has to.
Because she’s the daughter of my enemy. The man who destroyed my sister, forcing her to take her own life.
There is no scenario where this ends well.
“Ugh.” I rest my head on the counter in the kitchen, wishing things could be different, but they can’t.
“I thought we agreed you weren’t going to fuck her,” Hunt says, entering the kitchen and growling at me.
“I never agreed to that,” I say, lifting my head.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he snaps, crossing his arms and glaring at me.
“I wish I fucking knew.”
_______________
“Something smells good,” Xavier says, coming up behind Hunt at the grill and placing his hands on his hips.
“Can you grab the salad from the kitchen and the bread from the oven,” Hunt says, his voice tense.
“Sure, babe.” Xavier pecks his lips, walking off before Hunt can bitch at him.
“I’ll help,” Nessa says, putting her e-reader down.
“Stay. I’ll help.” I clamp a hand on her leg, keeping her on the couch. It’s the first time I’ve touched her all day, because I can scarcely look at her without almost choking. I shouldn’t have slept with her, because now, I’m royally fucked. I can’t stop thinking about the way it feels to be inside her, and I’m struggling to stick to my agenda.
“Thank you.” She smiles up at me, seemingly oblivious.
Before I get away, she pulls me close, kissing me. “Hurry back,” she whispers.
I feel Hunt’s disapproving gaze as I silently follow Xavier to the kitchen, pulling out plates while he grabs the bread from the oven.
“I really like her,” he says. “She is so sweet.”
“I know.” I remove the salad from the refrigerator, ignoring the acid climbing up my throat.
“Sawyer thinks you’re going to hurt her.”
My muscles tighten. “Why would he say that?” I ask, needing to know what he’s said. If he has told him, I have an even bigger problem.
“He doubts your ability to commit long-term. He thinks you’ll grow bored with her.”
My muscles relax. “He needs to butt out of my relationship and concentrate on his own,” I hiss.
“We don’t have a relationship,” Xavier says, his tone a little off. “We’re fuck buddies. He’s made it very clear that is all we’ll be.”
I set the salad down beside the plates. “What do you want?”
He doesn’t answer straightaway. “Honestly, I’m not sure.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I like him. A lot. I mean, he drives me fucking crazy too, but I think we could have something real, you know?”
Yeah, I do. I nod.
“But he’s holding out on me. I don’t know why, and if he doesn’t get his act together, then, I’m out.” He eyeballs me. “I won’t be anyone’s dirty little secret.”
_______________
“This steak is almost as good as the one from last night,” Nessa says, smiling at Hunt.
“Only almost?” Hunt feigns hurt.
“You want me to lie?” she teases.
“Never.” Hunt’s jaw tenses as his mood sours again. “Lying never ends well.”
That’s it. I’m fucking moving out.
“No, it doesn’t.” She looks away, picking up on the change in his temperament, and the atmosphere around the table is awkward as fuck.
“So, Van, have you got your dress for the wedding yet?” Xavier asks, attempting to change the subject and lift the tension.
He has no clue he’s just added to it.
Could this day get any worse? I rub at my throbbing temples, wishing the ground would open and swallow me.
“Wedding?” Her gaze bounces between me and Xavier. “What wedding?”
Xavier turns to me with a frown. “You haven’t asked her?”
“I hadn’t mentioned it. No.” My smile is tight. “For a reason.” I soften my tone, twisting in my chair so I’m facing her. My knee brushes Nessa’s. “Abby and Kai are getting married next month.”
“Aren’t they already married?” She places her silverware down, dabbing the side of her mouth with a napkin.
“They are, but they pretty much eloped, and now, they want to have a proper ceremony with their family and friends there.”
“Ah, I see.” She smiles. “That makes sense.” Anticipation is heavy in the air, and I have no choice but to say this now.
Thanks a fucking bunch, Xavier.
“Babe.” I take her hands in mine. “I can’t ask you to come with me.”
“What?” Her smile fades. “Why?”
“Think about it.” I plead with my eyes, urging her to catch my drift, but I’m met with a mask of confusion. “I can’t bring you to a wedding where you’ve fucked the groom. It’s a small, intimate wedding, for family and close friends only, and I don’t think Abby would appreciate it if I brought a girl who fucked her husband.”
Xavier’s eyes pop wide. Hunt obviously didn’t blurt that truth.
“Of course.” Nessa fakes a smile, but we can all tell it’s not real. “It’s totally fine.”
Hunt sends imaginary daggers at me, and I don’t blame him this time. I’ve hurt her, and she’s embarrassed. I wasn’t planning on telling her anything about the wedding. I was just going to disappear on family business and then come back with her none the wiser. I thought it would be easier that way. But Xavier forced my hand, and now, she’s upset.
We eat in silence, and I feel like the biggest dick. But there is nothing I can say or do that will make it better.
What the hell was I thinking asking her to stay here this weekend? I should be keeping more of a distance. I need to back off a little.
“Thanks for dinner, Sawyer,” Nessa says, standing abruptly a few minutes later. My eyes drop to her half-eaten steak. “It’s delicious, but I’m not feeling so hot. I think I picked up a little heatstroke. I’m going to head home.”
“Nessa.”
“It’s fine, Jackson.” She can barely even lo
ok me in the eye. “Enjoy your dinner. I’ll get an Uber.”
“You’re not getting an Uber,” I persist. “I’ll drive you home. Just let me know when you’re ready.”
She nods, and I watch her walk away with a pain in my chest.
“You’re an asshole,” Hunt spits out when she’s out of earshot.
“Me? I wasn’t going to mention a fucking thing about the wedding.” I glare at Xavier even though it’s not really his fault.
“I didn’t know she slept with Kai,” he replies. “Although, if you explained it to Abby, I don’t think she’d have a huge issue with it. Unless they like dated or something.”
“It was one time. They were both trashed. I doubt either of them remember it,” Hunt says. “That’s only an excuse.”
Xavier narrows his eyes at me. “Not cool, dude.”
“I know, but it’s for the best.”
Hunt’s chair squeals as he shoves it back. “I’m going to see if she’s okay.”
That should be me, but I doubt she wants me anywhere near her.
Xavier and I clear away the ruined dinner in silence. His displeasure swirls around me, adding to my bad mood. After the table is cleaned and the dishwasher is stacked, Xavier leaves to pack his bag. His train is in a couple hours.
I tiptoe toward my bedroom, debating whether to make myself known when I spot the door ajar. Hunt and Nessa are sitting on the bed, talking. He has his arm wrapped around her, and I want to rip it away. My natural instinct is to rush in there, shove Hunt off my girl, and comfort her.
But what would I say? What could I say?
The obvious solution is to speak to Abby and clear it for Nessa to come as my plus one. But that will only invite a whole host of questions I can’t answer. I’ve kept Kai and Abby out of this for a reason. Bringing Nessa with me will let the cat out of the bag. I can’t do it. I can’t go there. Which means there is nothing I can say to her now to make her feel better.
Perhaps, Hunt can bring her some peace. So, I flatten my back to the wall and listen.
“Don’t get attached, Van,” Hunt says, and my hands clench into fists.
“I already am,” she admits in a whisper.
“Then, detach yourself.”
“Is that what he wants? Is he planning on dumping me, and that’s why he didn’t ask me to the wedding?”
Her words rip through my heart, shattering it into pieces. I hang my head, disgusted with myself.
“I don’t know what’s going through his head. He’s dealing with stuff, and…” Hunt sighs, trailing off before he goes too far. “He likes you, Van. He does, but you know him. He’s not the commitment type. He doesn’t do relationships. I don’t want you to get hurt. He’ll be leaving for college, there’s pussy on tap at RU, and you know he won’t be able to keep it in his pants.”
The veins in my arms tense and my pulse throbs in my neck as liquid rage whittles through me. I want to wrestle my best friend to the ground and punch his fucking lights out, but I hold myself back.
I guess this is what I get for eavesdropping.
“Just treat this for what it is,” Hunt continues. “Casual fun with no strings attached and an expiration date. That way, you’ll protect your heart.”
I want to be mad at Hunt, but the truth is, I can’t be mad at him for trying to protect her. He’s looking out for her although the reality is there isn’t much he can do.
She’s already invested.
And I’m invested too—in my plan.
I don’t want to hurt her, and I wish things could be different, but they can’t because I need that bastard to pay and Vanessa is the only way I can get to him.
I have fucked up spectacularly. I have let my walls down. I have let her in. And I’ve got to pull back and remember my goal. I have one month until I leave New York for Rydeville. One month to find out if Vanessa knows where he is. I can’t lose sight of that, because otherwise, this has all been for nothing.
It doesn’t matter that I have feelings for her, because feelings have no place in the bigger picture.
_______________
She is understandably quiet in the car as I drive her home. I pull up to the curb outside the diner and kill the engine. I stare through the windshield, too cowardly to look at her face and see the hurt I know is residing there. “I know I’ve upset you, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She curls her hand around the door handle. “I get it. I do.” Her voice wobbles. “It seems no matter how hard I try to leave the past in the past it always comes back to haunt me.” She gets out, and I hop out of my side, grabbing her bag from the back. “Thanks.”
She refuses to look at me as I give it to her. “Nessa.” I take her hand, lacing my fingers in hers. “Let me make it up to you.”
She tips her head up, pinning red-rimmed eyes on me.
I swallow over the messy ball in my throat. “Come to The Hamptons next weekend with me.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think so, Jackson.” She tries to remove her hand, but I hold on to it.
Surely, she’s not going to break up with me because I won’t take her as my plus one? “Why not?”
She holds the bag to her chest. “I have my reasons.”
“Like what, babe?” I pull her in closer, pleased when she doesn’t push me away. She lets the bag drop to the ground. “C’mon. It’ll be fun. And I can make up for ruining this weekend.”
“I don’t know.” She looks over my shoulder, and I glance behind me, wondering why she’s staring at the silver Honda Accord parked across the road.
“If you’re worried about running into Melania or any of those other bitches, you don’t need to concern yourself with them. You’ll be staying with me, and I won’t let any of them even look funny at you.”
“It’s not just that.” She wets her lips, noticeably gulping.
“Your family will be there,” I supply as realization dawns. At least, I don’t have to worry about that. My parents haven’t returned to The Hamptons since Dani died.
She nods.
“I know things are shitty with your parents, but isn’t this a good opportunity to see your brother and sister? I know how much you miss them.”
Her eyes brighten with hope, and I know I have her. “We’ll figure out a way for you to spend time with them.” I rub my thumb along her lower lip. “Please, come. I will worship at your feet all weekend.”
“I’ll have to ask for time off.”
“You have vacation days to take,” I remind her.
“I know, but it’s super busy right now. I’m not sure Paul can release me.”
“It can’t do any harm to ask though, right?”
“No. It can’t.” She shoots me a timid smile, and I breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay. I’ll ask.”
“Thanks, babe.” I bring her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “You won’t regret it.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Vanessa
WE DRIVE OUT of the city, heading toward The Hamptons at eleven on Friday morning. I’m not sure how Chloe managed it, but she convinced Paul to approve three vacation days around my scheduled day off, which means I have four days in a row to myself.
Sheer bliss.
Our plan is to stay in East Hampton until Monday morning before coming back to the city.
I’m excited for some alone time with my boyfriend because I haven’t seen him much this week, and things are still a little strained between us.
Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m not as upset as I was last Sunday. Jackson is right. I can’t show up to Kaiden’s wedding and upset his wife. It’d be different if it was a big society wedding, where I could blend into the crowd, but I’d be front and center at an intimate gathering, and I don’t want to make things awkward for Jackson or upset Kaiden and Abby.
I am disappointed, but I’ve made my peace with it.
“Hey. You doing okay over there?” Jackson asks, patting my knee.
“I’m good.�
� I smile, tipping my face up, letting the warm breeze skate over my skin. Jackson showed up in a sleek, dark-gray open-top BMW, and I’m reaping the benefits of the glorious day. My hair is scraped back off my face into a messy bun, and I’m wearing my black and gold Chanel sunglasses. “I can’t remember the last time I had this much time off.”
I’m looking forward to the weekend, but I’m also a little anxious. I desperately want to see Hunter and Kayleigh, but that means risking contact with the stepmonster. I haven’t seen him since the day he kicked me out, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried. I don’t want to see him and be reminded of a past I’ve worked so hard to forget.
But Jackson will be with me, and that bastard can’t hurt me anymore. He also can’t stop me from hanging out on the beach with my brother and sister—no matter how much he might like to. Mom usually brings the twins to Main Beach on Saturday mornings, and I’m praying she hasn’t broken with tradition. It will be my only opportunity to ”bump” into my siblings at a time when that bastard shouldn’t be there.
“You work too hard.” Jackson flashes me his signature grin, showcasing his perfectly straight, glistening white teeth.
His hair is a mess of golden waves falling over his brow and onto his shades. He’s wearing a black designer T-shirt, stretched across his impressive chest, over knee-length denim shorts.
He’s so fucking hot, and I’m already wet for him.
Memories of last Saturday night resurrect in my mind, and I squirm in my seat as liquid lust pools low in my belly. I’m dying for a repeat performance, and I’m planning on jumping him any chance I get this weekend.
“Earth to Nessa.” He clicks his fingers at me, taking his eyes off the road for a second. “You zoned out on me.”
“I’m here.”
“Happy, babe?” He threads his free hand in mine.
“Very.” I lean over and kiss his cheek, inhaling his divine spicy, minty, fruity scent. “I’m getting to spend all weekend with you. What’s not to love?”
_______________
We make good time, driving along the main street a little before one. “Should we stop for something to eat?” I suggest as we roll past familiar high-end boutiques and designer stores. East Hampton is a historic community with some of the best shops, finest restaurants, and world-class beaches. I have always loved it here even if my summer experiences weren’t always the happiest. There is something about this place that speaks to me on a whole other level.
JACKSON Page 10
