She turned her head, studied his profile. “I can’t imagine you being nervous to ask someone out.”
His face turned, and his eyes cut to hers. “You’d be surprised. I’d just gotten out of a fairly significant relationship.” Folding his arms over his chest, he looked straight ahead again, as if telling her cupboards would make it easier. “She approached me one night at a party, asked me to dance, seemed pretty into me. My beer-drenched brain thought so, anyway. We made plans to meet at a coffee shop the next day.”
He paused like he was back there, reliving it. “I was so nervous. I bought this stupidly large bouquet of flowers. I show up, see her right away at the counter. I hurried over because I wanted to buy her drink. She hugged me hello, beamed over the flowers. I pull out my wallet, wondering what the hell she ordered that cost twenty bucks, not that I minded spending the money.”
Everly didn’t realize she was leaning into him until he looked down to where their arms grazed. She didn’t move away. There was a buzz of awareness humming over her skin. Saying they were friends didn’t lessen the impact, so she ignored it.
“What happened?”
Half his mouth tipped up in a smile. “We grabbed the food and drinks. I thought it was weird she’d ordered more than one coffee before I got there. We’re heading to the back, where she says she already grabbed a table, and there’s this big, burly jock I recognize from the football team. She sets everything down, goes to his side of the table, and kisses him. Then she introduces us and says, ‘This is Chris, baby. He’s the guy I was telling you about. He aces every one of Bayerman’s quizzes.’ Then she looks back at me and asks if I can tutor her boyfriend so he doesn’t lose his scholarship.”
Everly’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. Nervous laughter tickled her throat right along with mortification on his behalf. She could vividly imagine him standing there, flowers in hand, trying to make sense of it all.
“That’s horrible,” she said.
Chris shrugged. “It sucked. I tutored him, though. He was a good guy. I didn’t ask a girl out for a long time after that. I just wanted you to know that even though I don’t totally get what it’s like for you, we all have moments. Ones where we want to disappear into the ground, praying for a do-over.”
Struck with the overwhelming urge to hug him again, she pushed off the counter. “It means a lot to me that you’d share that. Thank you.”
She’d stepped away, but with a hand on her arm, he brought her back, turned her to face him again. “It means a lot to me that I’m who you phoned tonight.”
Nodding, her throat thick, she gestured toward the table. Setting her water down, she swallowed the lump blocking her words.
“I don’t get … attacks like that often, but tonight, I got overwhelmed. I can’t pinpoint why.” That wasn’t exactly true, but how did she tell him that it was a dozen little things that would be normal to anyone else that had set her off? Not only was she unable to stop it, the inability to do so made her feel … less.
Chris grabbed one of the chairs while Everly slid into the bench seat. He straddled it backward, making Everly’s mind shut down for one quick second. He looked so confident and sexy; so very male. Her breath fluttered.
Chris crossed his arms over the back of the chair. “You could have called me. Told me you were feeling overwhelmed. I would have made an excuse for you.”
“You shouldn’t have to. I should have handled things differently. I apologize.”
His jaw hardened, drawing her attention. A few days’ growth covered his skin. If she stroked her hand along his cheek, would there be a subtle, sexy rasp under her touch?
“I don’t want your apologies. You know that. Not as your boss and not as your friend.”
She smiled. Apparently, he was into labels. Panic attack. Jock. Friends.
“We are friends, aren’t we?”
The look he gave her would have made her laugh at another time. It was the absolute male equivalent of Duh.
“We do seem to check all the boxes. We’ve hung out, we talk on the phone, text. We’ve brought each other dessert. I went to your birthday party.”
“We do not need to talk about that,” she said, hoping her tone was a warning.
The subtle smirk made it clear, warning or not, he was going there. “You just don’t think about donkeys practicing safe sex all that often in life.”
She closed her eyes. Yup. He was talking about it.
Make me disappear. Poof. One little splash of magic. Pretty please? Universe? Let me open my eyes and have him be gone.
She opened one eye and saw his wide grin. Everly slapped a hand over her eyes.
Chris reached over to pull her hand away.
Laughter gurgled at the back of her throat. She fought it. He stood, came around the table to slide into the bench seat beside her.
She turned her head, her cheeks hot. “It’s not funny.”
His lips twitched, his head tipping to the side. “I think it is. Though not entirely. It’s also a little sad.”
Her brows crashed together. “Huh?”
“Just think, no matter what a donkey does, his girl is always going to think he’s an ass.” Without warning, a laugh escaped. One short bark of it and she pressed her hand back over her mouth.
Chris chuckled. “See?”
They both tumbled into the kind of laughter she hadn’t experienced in longer than she could remember. Her sides hurt, her eyes watered, and she forgot all the things she had to worry about. When she regained enough composure to speak, she looked at him, laughter wanting to escape again.
“It’s my own fault. Why didn’t I just throw them away? My mom’s still texting apologies asking if I’m mad.” Removed from the situation—as in, not standing in the spray of cardboard and condoms—it did seem pretty hilarious.
“You came back to the party and acted fine. You’ve moved through every level of this contest with grace and dignity. Obviously, you’re fighting down the nerves. It’s not a wonder they fought back.”
Why did he get it? More important, why didn’t he judge her for it? Whatever the reason, it made her want to be up-front with him. He deserved it.
“I’m pretty good at managing them. I guess everything came to a head tonight. I offered to reschedule with Daniel.”
Chris nodded, his smile slipping entirely. “There you go, then. Everything will be fine.” He looked at his watch and glanced around. Her heart rate accelerated.
She didn’t want him to go.
“Do you want to stay for a bit? We could watch a show or something?” That was friendly. She did that with Stacey and Tara all the time. The way his lips tipped up, just marginally at the corners, made her feel like they were sharing a secret. The quiet smile unfurled something inside of her; like the sun rising on a chilly morning, it warmed her chest, her body.
“Sure. I need to run out to my car for a minute.”
He stood up and started for the door. Everly wondered if he needed to call someone—maybe the date he’d left? Did he need to make excuses? Did he have plans?
“If you have other things to do…,” she said, not finishing the sentence. He turned around at the door.
“I don’t. At all. What’s that show you and Stacey always talk about?”
“Veronica Mars?”
“Let’s watch that.”
Everly licked her lips, still staring. Trying to loosen the sudden restriction in her chest, she joked, “You trying to be one of the girls?”
“Not quite. I wouldn’t mind seeing it, that’s all. Then maybe I can be in on the inside jokes you two are always making.”
“Oh, I’m afraid not. You’d need years of training and mind melding for that to happen.”
He chuckled, and she realized the sound made her happy.
Setting up the show so that she didn’t spiral into what-ifs, Everly debated making popcorn as she waited for him to return. It didn’t even register that she wasn’t nervous about the fact that he wou
ld. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d hung out with anyone other than Stacey where she didn’t feel the need to review possible conversation topics in her head beforehand. There was no pressure with Chris. If he hadn’t made it clear more than once that he wasn’t interested in her—she didn’t think it was just the work thing—she might feel differently. She knew she would. She’d probably need itch cream. But she didn’t, which meant they really were friends. She didn’t know why she had to tell herself repeatedly, as she waited for him to return, that that would be enough.
[22]
Chris gripped the small gift bag, a range of emotions battering him from the inside out. He stood outside of her apartment for a minute, trying to get a grip on everything whirling through him. He’d almost closed his mouth over hers and given in to the desire that had been building for months now. She’d glanced up at him with so much trust, he’d stepped back. He truly wanted to be her friend. Yes he wanted more, but he wouldn’t jeopardize what they were headed toward for something he couldn’t follow through on.
“This is enough. More than you thought you’d have with her,” he said before taking a calming breath and turning the knob.
The scent of popcorn hit hard, making him smile. She was incredible. He’d seen her struggle with her nerves, smooth them over, and bounce back like a punching bag. That kind of inner strength was sexier than anything he’d seen. The pleasure of her calling him, reaching out to him, and now, inviting him to stay would keep him awake tonight.
“I’m just making a snack,” she called from around the wall.
“You didn’t have to do that.” They’d agreed to friendship, but could he be friends with a woman when the way her eyes switched color in the right light haunted his dreams? You’re about to find out.
“If I hadn’t, I’d be hungry,” she replied, peeking around the wall.
Chris’s laugh came out rough. “True.”
When he’d gone out with Rob, they’d ended up having a couple of beers, playing some pool, and chatting about work stuff. There wasn’t a woman in the place that pulled his interest the way Everly Dean did.
When her gaze went to the gift, she scowled and damn if he didn’t find that cute, too. He wasn’t sure he could handle getting too close only to leave, but he could take this. Tonight. Because she’d asked. That didn’t come easy for Everly Dean. At least you’ll know she’s found someone to make her happy. To treat her like she deserves. He hoped.
She came out of the kitchen a moment later, her arm wrapped around a large blue bowl. In her other hand, she held two bottles of water.
“You change your mind?” she asked.
“Huh? No.” He shook his head, slipped off his shoes, and walked over to the couch.
She set the waters down and sat as well, the bowl of popcorn leaving a nice amount of personal space between them. Not enough to diminish the scent of her shampoo or soap. He’d be craving berries long after he moved away.
Everly picked up the remote as he held out his hand, offering her the gift.
She eyed it, her lids lowering. He couldn’t help but laugh. She looked like he was passing her a bomb.
“Why did you get me a gift?”
Putting on a serious expression, he straightened his shoulders as though about to give a lecture. “It’s a typical New York custom, when one celebrates a birthday, to offer that person a present. Do they not do that here in Los Angeles?”
He loved the way her lips quivered with amusement.
“Come on, you let Stacey give you one,” he teased.
Her cheeks went red like he’d swiped paint over them. What the—? He thought back to what Stacey had said and felt his own face heat up. He shoved the bag forward. “Just open it. I guarantee it’s not anything like Stacey would give you.”
Everly removed the tissue paper and took out the small wrapped present. When her fingers pressed in, her brows scrunched and curiosity shone in her eyes. “What is it?”
Shifting toward her, he again pulled out his lecture voice. “You West Coasters need a lot of training. So, what happens is, you unwrap the gift by taking the paper off. Then inside, you’ll find the present.”
Everly reached out and shoved him, surprising him, making him laugh. “You’re quite the comedian.”
“Just helping you out.”
She found a spot of tape and scratched at it. Chris hid his smile by rubbing his hand over his mouth. He should have known she wasn’t a ripper.
When she removed all the paper and saw what lay beneath, her breath caught and her bottom lip slipped between her teeth. He’d had a hard time keeping his eyes off her mouth, and now he was drawn to it again.
She moved the paper and held up the small, soft cat squishy that fit easily in her palm, her eyes blinking rapidly.
“It’s a—”
She looked at him, and the shine in her eyes caught him off guard. “I know what it is. It’s a stress toy.”
He hoped she wasn’t offended. Shit. What if he’d offended her?
“This is the most thoughtful thing ever.” Her hand flexed and released around the cat.
Rubbing at the back of his neck, which felt overheated, he shook his head. “That can’t be true.”
He really hoped that giving her a stress ball wasn’t the most thoughtful thing someone had done for her. It couldn’t be. Because she deserved so much more.
“It is true. It’s discreet and soft, and I really love it.”
Going on instinct, he took the hand that wasn’t holding the cat, turned it over, and ran a fingertip along the dulling red crescents that still showed. His heart and stomach twisted in opposite directions from the sight of them. “Maybe it’ll help with this.”
She nodded and pulled in a shuddery breath. Their eyes met, and the effect was more potent when he was touching her.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome,” he whispered back. He swallowed around the tightness in his throat as he pulled his hand back. “So, Veronica Mars. Female PI, right?”
Blinking away the moisture, Everly smiled. Chris’s heart flipped over like a pup eager for attention.
“A teenage PI, and she’s completely badass. You’ll owe me for introducing you to the show.”
Getting comfortable, he shifted on the couch, keeping the distance between them so he’d be able to concentrate. “We’ll see. Have you watched Justified?”
She shook her head and grabbed some popcorn. He felt ridiculously pleased that she didn’t put the squish toy down.
“No. Is it good?”
“If you want badass, you need to watch Raylan Givens.”
“Hmm. Okay. I’ll watch a few episodes, and we can compare their badassery.”
Chris laughed. He did that a lot around Everly. “Speaking of, you going to try kickboxing again?” He wasn’t about to admit he’d been back to the gym twice in hopes of running into her.
She looked almost bashful. “I went to a morning class. It was good but I liked ours better so I’ll probably go back to that one.”
“Good. I could use a sparring partner,” he said, smiling at her, lifting his brows. He kickboxed with Rob. Definitely a friend-zone thing.
Her face scrunched. “I don’t know, Chris. That might not be a good idea.”
Disappointment lodged in his gut—he started to nod, to agree, then her face lit with a brilliant smile that socked him right in the chest.
“I don’t want my kicking your ass to put a strain on our budding friendship.”
Another chuckle escaped, and he tried to think of another woman—person—who made him feel so at ease. The more time they spent together, the more her guard seemed to come down. She was funny. He hadn’t expected that.
They settled into the show, and Chris had to admit it was pretty good. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was what he watched on-screen or just the experience of sitting with Everly in her home, with her relaxed and comfortable in his presence, while they shared popcorn and lau
ghter. He’d have to watch a couple of episodes at home and see if he still felt the same. What worried him, and he wasn’t a worrier by nature, was the idea that when he wasn’t around her, when he left, wherever he ended up, nothing would feel the same. That he’d have an Everly-size hole when he finally said good-bye.
[23]
Everly stood outside of the gym, unsure of which part of the day was knotting up her stomach. Of all the … God. Just label it. Of all the anxiety-related issues she cataloged as just part of who she was, the one that bugged her most was not knowing what caused the restless uncertainty inside of her. It was as though she could feel the extra energy vibrating through her, around her, under her skin, making her hyperaware, extra jumpy, and sometimes more emotional.
It was one thing to be put into a situation—a party, a date, dinner with her parents—and have it push her buttons. She could deal in the moment. When she approached the unknown, her thoughts barrel-rolled over her sanity. But she’d been to the gym twice now, so it shouldn’t still make her pulse frantic.
“You didn’t have to wait out here for me,” Stacey said.
Everly swallowed down a yelp and spun around to see her friend. Dressed in workout clothes that were both sexy and functional, which Everly envied, Stacey grinned.
“No worries,” Everly said. Or irony. Definitely no irony in you using that phrase.
Stacey put her fists up in front of her chin. “We could go a couple of rounds out here.”
Laughter soothed some of the vibrations, making them more manageable.
She pulled the door open and waved Stacey through first. “I’m good, Rocky.”
Stacey strutted past her. Whoever she’d gone out with the night before had left her extra feisty. She’d made nonstop jokes on the air this morning. A couple were about Everly’s dating life, which earned her friend an equal amount of succinct whiteboard messages, but most were pretty funny.
“I’m thinking more Wonder Woman,” Stacey said.
Ten Rules for Faking It Page 19
