by Amity Cross
“This place makes me nervous,” she went on. “You wanna go home? We can get Hugo to bring over some pizzas and we can watch some trashy TV.”
I didn’t really want to do anything, but I nodded. She was only trying to help, but everything was still so raw. We walked back down the cliff trail in silence, neither of us knowing what to say.
When we got back to Vanessa’s, a big A4 letter was waiting for me on the front porch.
“That better not be what I think it is,” my best friend said. “I’ll roast their balls over an open flame if it is.”
“It doesn’t matter what it is,” I said as I picked it up from where it’d been tossed on the welcome mat. “I’m the little guy and the little guy always gets squashed.”
I’d like to say I couldn’t believe it, but after my time on the road with Sebastian, I could. They knew where I was, which meant Sebastian knew and hadn’t even attempted to contact me. There was no way this was another letter like the last he’d sent me. Given the size, it could only be one thing.
I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the papers. It was a non-disclosure agreement, just like I’d feared.
Unfolding the letter pinned to the front of the contract, I scanned it, my hands shaking. In exchange for my silence on all things Sebastian Hale and Beneath, I would be granted a cash settlement, payable upon receipt of the signed and dated documents.
In a perfect world, that would’ve been everything, but it wasn’t. There was more explicit footage of me and Sebastian. If I signed, Vix wouldn’t release any of the addition videos and images she had to the media and she’d make everything stop.
“What do they want?” Vanessa asked, shooing me inside the house.
“Silence,” I replied, sinking onto the couch. “Just…silence.” I handed her the letter so she could read it.
“They’re paying you off? The nerve!”
“Like I said, the little guy always gets squashed.” I felt like I’d been slapped in the face, but what other recourse did I have?
“She filmed you without your consent,” Vanessa argued. “Then she shared it with that bitch Mallory. That’s all kinds of illegal. You could sue her arse off, Juni.”
I shook my head, clutching the contract in my shaking hands. I didn’t have a hope in hell fighting Vix and the tabloid she sold the recording to—they were pros at covering their own arses. It would be years of red tape and court hearings in another country, and all the money I’d saved from selling The Page Break would be lost. If I signed the NDA, then I wouldn’t have to face the fallout or the battle. It could all go away and in time, maybe things would get better.
Maybe I’d be forgotten, and in turn, I’d forget Sebastian.
I would always be a target because of who Sebastian was. Sebastian, who knew about the footage, yet had done nothing to stop it from leaking.
I’d tried my hardest to fit into his world, but nothing I did was enough. I’d always be on the outside because I had nothing to offer people like that. I didn’t have a talent, a claim to fame, or money of my own. I was nothing more than a glorified hanger-on.
I’d never be able to show my face because of them. Forget trying to get a job—a simple Google search would pull up my humiliation in less than a second. My name was plastered all over the internet, along with my tits and arse. It didn’t matter if I was an innocent victim, that I’d been filmed in an intimate and private moment without my consent. It was out there and that was that. My life was over.
I sniffed and wiped at a stray tear. “I need a pen.”
20
Juniper
Summer had crept up on Point Mambie and all at once, we were in T-shirt and shorts territory.
It’d taken a few months, but the chaos around the sex tape had died down and the paparazzi had left one by one once they realised my net worth had gone down. It didn’t stop the humiliation from reaching me around town, though. Once I was clear to leave the safety of Vanessa and Hugo’s couch, I’d ventured out only to be stared at and catcalled by the residents of Point Mambie.
I had three safe zones—Vanessa’s house, the far end of the beach, and the table in the pizza shop that was hidden from view of the front counter.
“Hey, Juni!” Hugo shouted as I walked into the shop. “What’s shakin’? Is that our dog I see outside?”
It smelled like heaven in here, all tomato, cheese, and cooking meat.
“Yeah, Ziggy’s my shadow today.” I glanced over my shoulder, making sure the little dog was still tied to the bike rack out on the footpath. “Vanessa in?”
“Vanessa is,” she declared, emerging from out the back.
I glanced down at Hugo’s T-shirt and felt my cheeks heat. The Beneath logo was emblazoned across his chest, the material smeared with flour. It must be one of the shirts Sebastian had sent all those months ago.
Vanessa followed my gaze and glared at her husband.
“Are you daft?” she exclaimed, slapping him on the back of the head.
“Ow!” he cried, ducking as her hand came back the other way.
“That shit is banned from the house!” she screeched. “You really are as dumb as you look!”
“It’s okay,” I said, readying myself to tear them apart. “Don’t stop listening to their music because of me.”
“I’m sorry, Juni.” Hugo took my hands and kissed both of them. “Please forgive me. I am as stupid as I look.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I repeated. “I’m going to have to get used to seeing this stuff around. They’re one of the most famous bands in the world. Unless I become a hermit on a desert island, I’m not going to avoid it.” I turned to look at Vanessa. “I’m going to take Ziggy for a walk on the beach. Is that cool?”
“You know the rules,” she declared. “If he goes in the water, he gets a bath with the stinky rose petal soap.”
I laughed and gave her the thumbs up. Ziggy loathed that soap more than anything in the world. “That’s why I brought this with me.” I held up a metal pole I’d found, hoping it would keep Ziggy in place while we sat together by the water.
“Good luck with that,” Hugo said with a laugh. “That dog is tougher than he looks.”
“We’ll see.” I waved goodbye and pushed out of the pizza shop and into the sunshine.
“It’s good to see her smile, don’t you think?” I heard Vanessa say to Hugo as the door closed behind me.
Outside, Ziggy bounced to his feet when I undid his leash from the bike rack.
“Good boy.” I scratched him behind the ears and then we were off down the main street.
We hadn’t gone far when I realised we were a few shops away from where The Page Break used to be. The building had been repainted in a muted shade of green—the colour of eucalyptus—and an A-frame sign was sitting on the footpath. The new owners had named their venture, The Point Salon and Spa, and their logo was a simple outline of a gum leaf—very hipster if you asked me. The tourists would love it.
I fully intended to cross the street to avoid seeing it, but something drew me forward. Since returning to the Point, I hadn’t been past my old home. I supposed I didn’t have the strength to, considering the anguish I’d been lost in at the time.
Thinking about the day I’d stood on the cliff, I shivered despite the heat. Was I going to jump? I didn’t think so, but the thing about it that scared me was the fact I didn’t know for sure. I was afraid I didn’t have the strength to continue on with the struggle called life…just like my dad.
Sighing, I let Ziggy drag me down the street as if he remembered where to go. Each step accelerated my heartbeat until my head was swimming
I stared through the window at the salon and didn’t recognise anything that said The Page Break Bookshop was once here. The decor was black and white, with features of the same eucalyptus as the sign outside. Mirrors lined the wall on the right, and basins were at the left to the rear. The front of the space was taken up by a reception desk, a waiting area with a plush couc
h, and shelves of hair and beauty products. I breathed deeply, imagining I could smell the perfumes wafting out the door.
They were doing good business today. People were rushing back and forth, hairdryers were roaring, and customers were filling up most of the chairs. One had foils in her hair, another was lying at the basins, someone was getting a haircut, and another lady was getting a blow wave. A sign pointed to the spa upstairs, where they did massages, facials, and full body scrubs, among other things.
Good for them. I sighed and pulled Ziggy away from the door where he was waiting for it to open so he could run inside. When it did, he almost wrenched my arm off.
“Hello!” a woman said brightly. She was middle-aged, her blonde hair styled to perfection.
I felt my cheeks heat. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare...
“You’re Juniper, right?” When I went on staring, she added, “I recognised you from the...” She coughed nervously. “You owned the building before us, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I did.”
“Would you like to come in and see what we’ve done to the place? If you’ve got time, we’d love to treat you to a facial or a manicure.”
I glanced into the shop. “No, thank you.”
The woman seemed surprised. “Are you sure? It’s no trouble.”
“Yes, thank you. Good luck with your business.”
I tugged on Ziggy’s lead and continued down the footpath, leaving the woman to enjoy the fruits of her sea change. The Page Break was gone—that life was over and there was no going back, only forward.
My bag bashed against my leg as Ziggy and I crossed the road and climbed the sandbank. When my feet hit the sand, my shoes squeaked as we moved down to the far end of the beach, away from the first of the summertime crowd. The caravan park and the motels were already seeing their first guests, and before long, the town would be bumper-to-bumper as the school holidays kicked in.
I picked a quiet spot halfway up the beach and dumped my bag onto the sand. Then I shoved the metal rod as deep as I could get it, and with a little bit of jimmying, I managed to hook Ziggy up and stop him from leaping into the ocean.
“Stay,” I said holding up my finger at the little dog. “If you’re good, we might go for a swim later, okay?”
His tail thumped and he sat at my feet, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.
Sitting beside him, I opened my bag and took out the book I’d gotten in the mail the day before. It was called, Europe on a Shoestring.
My mind wandered as I ran my fingertips over the cover. By now, Beneath’s US tour would be over, and they’d be planning their UK/Europe dates. If things had worked out, I wouldn’t need a travel guide and a fifty-dollar a day accommodation budget.
Even if Sebastian wanted to fix things with me, I knew he couldn’t. Vix was already blackmailing him over his contract, using Josh, Nate, and Damon’s careers against him. I wasn’t strong enough financially and emotionally to fight back and being in his life was only causing everyone pain. I had to let him go.
Life had to go on.
I had to go on.
Opening the book, I found the chapter on France. I’d always wanted to go to Paris. Spending Christmas there seemed like a dream come true. Snow falling around the Eiffel Tower, riding the centuries old carousel in Montmartre, cracking the top of crème brûlée at a quiet café by the Seine, and gazing at the art in the Louvre. I could get a rail pass and travel other places, too, like Berlin, Prague, Venice, and Rome. I could even go to Greece, maybe even Spain. I’d stay in hostels and eat local food ordered in broken French and Italian. I could learn a few words of German and order some bratwurst and beer. Everyone said the Christmas markets in Germany were to die for.
Flipping the page, I took out my pen and circled the entry for the Louvre and made a note to book ahead.
Ziggy’s tail started to wag and he kicked up sand with his back paws, flicking it all over me. It settled into the spine of my book and I cursed.
“Ziggy!” I shook it out, the pages flapping in the breeze. “Bloody hell.”
“We have to stop meeting like this.”
I froze, my heart twisting in my chest. That voice…
“Juniper…”
It took all my courage, but I looked up as a shadow fell over me. My gaze met a pair of stormy grey eyes and I choked back a sob that’d risen, unbidden, into my throat.
Sebastian.
I scrambled to my feet, the guidebook falling to the sand. I glanced around, searching for an escape route more than I was a horde of photographers.
“No one knows I’m here,” he said. “No one’s watching.”
“What are you doing here?” I took a step away as my hands began to shake.
“I’ve come back for you.”
“After all this time, now you want to do something?” I scoffed and knelt in the sand, scooping my things back into my bag.
“It’s complicated.”
“You need to leave.”
“Juniper, please…”
I rose to my feet and yanked the pole out of the sand. Unfortunately, Ziggy was waiting for his chance to make a break for the ocean, and he tore off down the sand, barking excitedly as he hit the first wave.
“Ziggy!” I shrieked. “Come back!” He didn’t listen, of course. I let out a sob as my frustration took over the last shred of my sanity.
Sebastian took off after the little Jack Russell, leaping into the surf after him. Eventually, he managed to grasp the end of the lead and drag the dog back onto dry land, but not without a lot of cursing.
I was stuck to the spot as the two sad, sodden looking men made their way back to me. Everything was hopeless. It was all I could do not to bury my head in the sand—literally and metaphorically.
“I’m sorry about everything,” Sebastian said, holding onto Ziggy’s lead. “I should’ve done more to stop Mallory. I’ve threatened legal action against the tabloids and had the footage taken down. I’ve done what I could to stop it from getting any worse... I should’ve come sooner, but my hands were tied.”
I knew he was locked into his contract but seeing him hurt. I still felt the same longing to be with him, but too much had happened to break me. All the strength had left my body and now I wasn’t sure if it was worth figuring out if this lust could turn into true love.
“I’ve got a plan,” he went on, “to take down Vix, but I need your help.”
“My help?” I turned to face him, confused as to what I could possibly do. “What about Mallory?”
“She’ll get a taste of her own medicine soon enough,” he replied. “And you’re the only one I can trust with this.”
That may be so, but I didn’t know if I could trust him. If I went back, would anything have truly changed? I allowed myself to be vulnerable and it’d allowed me to be taken advantage of. There’d always be someone wanting to hurt me because of his fame and money.
I didn’t see how he could fight Vix. His contract was watertight, as was the NDA I’d signed months ago. As far as I could see, she’d won.
“But I signed the contract,” I said. “I can’t…”
“I know,” he replied. “I don’t blame you, I would’ve done the same thing, but it doesn’t matter.”
“How can it not?” I demanded. “She’s got everything she needs to destroy the both of us. It doesn’t matter how much we love one another if—” I stopped mid-sentence, the dreaded L-word hanging in the air between us.
He took a step forward. “You love me?”
“Don’t.”
“Juniper, don’t walk away from this. I know some awful shit has happened, but I’m fighting. I’m fighting Vix, the label, Mallory, everyone. I’m fighting for you.”
I’d been avoiding the pain for months, hiding on Vanessa’s couch watching terrible rom-coms, tuning out the world and the pain of my shredded heart. Now, here he was, saying the things he should’ve said the night the sex tape was leaked, the same words I’d despera
tely wanted to hear, and I didn’t want to listen.
“When I first got back, I stood on top of the same cliff my dad jumped from,” I said. “That’s how broken I was. I stood there and wondered what the point was when everyone and everything was so against me loving you.”
He paled. “What stopped you?”
I shrugged and swallowed the lump in my throat. “I don’t know.”
“Then hear this, Juniper Rowe.” He took a step towards me, and this time, I didn’t recoil. “Some people just get into your bloodstream and there isn’t a thing you can do about it. It doesn’t matter how much we’ve hurt one another, or how much the world wants us to fail, we just keep finding our way back here. To this place. Where I’m just a guy who would do anything for the woman he loves.”
“You love me?” I whispered, my voice barely audible above the crashing waves.
“Always have, always will.” He held out his hand, the other still grasping Ziggy’s lead. “What do you say, Juni? Wanna go to war with me?”
Juniper and Sebastian’s story continues in Whole Lotta Sin!
* * *
The lines between reality and fantasy blur as Sebastian and Juniper face their biggest struggle yet…
Other books in the Rock Star Hearts series:
Rock ’n’ roll will save your life…
* * *
Rock Star Hearts follows the tumultuous romance of small town woman Juniper Rowe and bad boy rock star Sebastian Hale.
Will love conquer all? Or will the price of fame be too hot to handle?
Whole Lotta Love #1
Whole Lotta Lust #2
Whole Lotta Sin #3
Whole Lotta Heart #4
Keep Reading for a sneak peek at Whole Lotta Sin!
