Alex nodded appreciatively. “Pretty clever. But you said you don’t steal money, so what do you do it for?”
Tom grinned. “Some of us just like the challenge. It’s hard to make a life and then try to live it. House, job, everything. Can’t hack a wife, though, bummer.” He grinned, and Barbara punched him lightly in the arm and giggled. Tom continued, “I don’t know the first thing about biochemistry, but I lived as a chemistry professor for more than a year.”
“How the hell did you manage that? And didn’t you learn anything while trying?”
Tom laughed. “I tried not to, more fun that way. As for how, I downloaded lectures and then repeated the whole thing almost word for word. I have a good memory, almost eidetic. I taught two or three classes a week so it wasn’t a bad gig.”
Alex shook his head. “But what if someone asked a question?”
“I’m the professor, I’ll answer questions when I feel like it. Besides, you’d be surprised at how often the same questions get asked, which means most are in the videos. Look, I taught basic chemistry and biology to undergrads. It was a piece of cake. I had it all set up where I did this important research that took up most of my time. Fucked if I understand what it was, but it was really important! They thought they were paying a lot for it, but the money was fake, I don’t steal. Well, except for my salary, but I like to think I did a pretty good job, considering, so I think I earned it.”
“What about hobnobbing, social gatherings, your fellow professors?”
“Avoid them like the plague. But it’s all part of the fun. You will get caught. Sometimes right away when they ask themselves why they never heard of Dr. Fucklubber, the guy their computer tells them they hired, or another way to fuck up is to put in something that doesn’t make sense, like stem cell research for a space physicist. I got nailed that way once. This time I did my homework.”
“I caught you,” Alex said, grinning proudly.
“Yeah,” Tom admitted. “You did. But to be fair I was a little distracted, what with the whole kidnapping thing.”
“So the people that put us here,” Barbara said. “The government. They thought you were a biochemist? And that’s why they picked you?”
Tom nodded, grinning widely.
“Did you get any instructions? Like Alex’s general orders? To tell you what you’re supposed to do?”
“Yeah, but it’s real weird stuff,” he said. “I have no idea why they want me to do it.”
“What is it?” Alex asked. “Maybe it will give us a clue as to what we’re doing here.”
Tom shrugged. “Can’t hurt to tell you, but I don’t understand most of it. Essentially I’m supposed to study microscopic multi-cellular organisms and look for certain characteristics. I don’t know the details, it’s very technical stuff, over my head. But they made it sound pretty important.” He ran a hand through his hair and grinned sheepishly. “I kinda feel bad that I can’t do it, but there’s no helping that. I wish I knew how, but…”
“Fuckin’ A,” Alex said. “Serves those bastards right.”
“Yeah, I guess it does,” Barbara agreed. “But if they thought it was important, maybe it’s important to us.”
“Not Tom’s fault, theirs.”
“You realize,” Tom said. “That we’re talking about a world that doesn’t exist anymore.”
“Yeah,” Alex said, feeling a bit of the alcohol induced euphoria slipping away. “About that…”
Chapter 19
“Okay,” Barbara said. “So you think it’s bullshit. Why?”
Alex took a small sip from his cup and leaned back, letting the tree support his weight.
“For starters,” he said. “No way this whole getup…” He spread his arms, indicating the colony. “Was some last ditch, minute to midnight emergency response.”
“Okay,” Tom said. “Let’s start with that. Why? I mean I know it doesn’t seem likely they could pull this off last minute, but let’s hear some concrete reasons.”
“Okay, here goes,” Alex said. “I’ll do one at a time, and the first one’s easy. Let’s forget about the fully stocked warehouse, the terminals with general orders and the nutrient paste I’ve never heard of. All that could have been part of some emergency doomsday stockpile, as could these little cabins, the DNA locks, everything. Maybe they were planning for some asteroid impact, or some other catastrophe. So all that is plausible, though I’ll say it’s too much to do for some wacky contingency. I mean this crap must cost serious bank.”
“Yeah,” Tom agreed. “There’s some pretty impressive tech at work here.”
“Right. So forget about all that. I’ll even give them that it could have been sitting here, just waiting for us to come along, and that they had time to get our DNA and code the locks. All possible. There’s still no way they pulled this off in less than four or five months at least.”
“The clothes,” Barbara said. “You’re talking about the clothes.”
“Bingo,” Alex said, grinning proudly like he’d just discovered the cure to cancer. “That’s number one. My clothes were pretty generic, but they all fit. It was something Yael said that got me thinking. She said, ‘They are like the clothes I’d wear.’ Except they weren’t hers. Everyone here dresses pretty distinctively. Max with those ridiculous dress shirts, you, Barb, with your capris. Tom, that long sleeve t-shirt with the short sleeve one over it…this is like the stuff you used to wear, right?”
“Right,” Tom said. “I see where you’re going with this. How did they know what kind of clothes we wore unless they watched us for a while.”
“Or just gone through our drawers?” Barbara suggested.
“Then these clothes would have been ours,” Alex said. “Not just like ours.”
“Ah,” she said. “You’re right. They must have prepared all of these for us ahead of time.”
“Not something you do when you’re trying to save civilization in a hurry,” Alex said.
“That’s good,” Barbara said. “Do you have more?”
“Only one,” Alex said. “But it’s a doozy. The night on the beach in Oahu, I couldn’t quite fall asleep and I heard people talking. Ryan and Patrick were arguing over Sandi, and they brought up IQ tests they both took recently. Ryan said his IQ was one forty five and Patrick said his was one forty four and that a single point didn’t matter because it was within the error margin.”
“Wait a sec!” Barbara said. “The hospital had us take an evaluation test about a month ago. They only posted the results a week before we came here. I remember thinking it was odd, since it turned out to be an elaborate IQ test. What the hell did they need to know our IQs for?”
“Holy shit,” Tom said. “The university gave the faculty IQ tests a while back…they said it was for the psychology department, to help them with their research! Everyone at the university had to take them.”
“Yeah,” Alex said. “You see it now, don’t you? The army gave us an in-service ASVAB. That stands for ‘armed services vocational aptitude battery.’ You take one when you join…but they said they were giving one to people already in because they needed to fill some key roles and were looking for candidates. The biggest part of that test was…three guesses…”
“An IQ test,” Tom muttered.
“So,” Alex continued. “We all took an IQ test. I’ll wager everyone in the colony took one. What did you get, Barb?”
She frowned. “One forty three. I can’t believe those two are smarter than me.”
“They’re not,” Tom said quickly. “IQ tests are bullshit. What did you get, Alex?”
“I have no idea,” he said, still bothered that he hadn’t made it to the board in time, especially now that he would never know. “They posted the results the day before I got here, or at least the last day I remember, and they called formation before I could get to my name. I usually do very well on IQ tests, though. What about you, Tom?”
He shrugged. “It was high, like the rest of them.”
&
nbsp; “Oh ho!” Barbara teased. “He doesn’t want to tell us. Spill it, Professor Bullshit, right now!”
“I like that,” Alex said, laughing. “Professor Bullshit. That’s your new name, Tom.”
“Yeah it’s funny. I’ll take it.”
“Spill it,” Barbara insisted.
“Fine, I got a one sixty three.” He grinned sheepishly, trying to look modest.
“Wow,” Barbara said. “Impressive. We’ve got ourselves a genius.”
“Well technically,” Alex said. “He’s a super genius. One forty is genius.”
“It’s all bullshit,” Tom said. “I should know, I’m the professor. It’s mostly spatial reasoning, some people are better at that than others, doesn’t mean they are smart.”
“Okay, so there are the clothes and the tests…what does that tell us?” Barbara asked.
“It tells us,” Alex said. “That we were carefully chosen, at least a month before, probably more. From among the best and brightest, it would seem, though I wish I knew what my score was. Then we were watched, studied and given things that remind us of our lives back in the world.”
“Why?” Barbara asked. “Why go through the trouble.”
“Psychological,” Tom suggested. “They probably wanted to ease our transitions as much as possible.”
“Why not take our real clothes?”
“I dunno,” Tom admitted. “Seems like it would be easier.”
“I think,” Alex said. “That the people who took us had no idea what was about to happen to the rest of the world, to them. It would take at least two, maybe three people to get each of us and bring us in. If they were saving a select few, odds are they didn’t have enough room for three support personnel for each candidate. So they probably told those people some story, like we were terrorists or something, and they came and got us. Maybe it was homeland security goons. So then…”
“If they told them to take our clothes,” Tom cut in. “It would look really suspicious. Why arrest a terrorist and take his clothes too?”
“And what if our clothes were in the wash?” Barbara added. “That would complicate matters. They probably didn’t want to wait around for the laundry.”
“Good point,” Alex said. “I hadn’t thought of that one. But it all boils down to the same thing. This was no last minute contingency. They planned this.”
“Maybe they had advance warning of the Chinese weapon,” Barbara suggested.
“Nah,” Tom said. “If they did they would nuke the shit out of them, not build Star Trekian mobile homes in Hawaii.”
Alex laughed. “Star Trekian mobile homes! I love it! But yeah, you’re right. Also, I don’t buy that this is a Chinese weapon. The Chinese are not that advanced. Whatever did what we saw in Honolulu, that was some high tech stuff. Like sci-fi shit. Furthermore, whatever the cause, they knew about it for a long, long time. Enough to plan and execute this absurd little plan of theirs.”
“Speaking of,” Tom said. “Barb, did you get a chance to look at the samples we brought back?”
“No, after Ryan’s surgery I had to look at Michelle, and then I just took a nap. I was beat. I had to set the alarm clock to meet up with you guys, or I’d still be asleep.”
“We have an alarm clock?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, it’s an app on the laptop,” Tom said.
“I’m such a moron. It probably tells us the time, too. I never even thought to look.”
“Um, it would have to tell time to be an alarm clock, Chief,” Tom said, grinning.
“Sure, rub it in, super genius.”
“So what do we do about this?” Barbara asked.
“We learn all we can,” Alex said. “Barb, you need to take a look at those samples first thing tomorrow, if you have time. I think that will be our starting point. Tom, maybe you can hack your way into the computers or something, see what you can see.”
“I need to get to a terminal,” Tom said. “The laptops won’t cut it.”
“I thought they were connected to something,” Alex said. “The movies…”
“Nope, it’s all local. I need something like Max’s terminal. Or the one in your arms room. Can I take a look at it?”
“It’s fine with me,” Alex said. “But I don’t think it will let you in. The door works like an airlock. I open the first one, and if there’s anyone in the corridor with me, then the second one won’t open.”
“Hmm,” Tom said, rubbing his chin. “Maybe we can try pressing close together to fool the sensor, like arm to arm, leg to leg.”
Alex shrugged. “Worth a try. Wanna go now?”
“Nah. I’d rather just sit here and get drunk, then fall asleep under the stars.”
“Good plan,” Barbara said. “Want company?”
“Well now!” Tom said, leaning forward excitedly. “Are you asking to sleep with me?”
She laughed, and punched him in the arm again. “I don’t think it works that way…I’m the girl. You’re supposed to ask me.”
“Get a room,” Alex said. “But not until I get piss drunk. Give me more of that stuff.”
By the time they got through half the bowl, Alex could barely see straight. All talk of plots and lies was put aside, and he allowed himself to relax and enjoy casual conversation, the sounds and smells of the ocean and most of all, the freedom. Freedom from having to work, from responsibility, from life—even if only for a little while. The drink made it easy to ignore, but it was all there, waiting for him at the edge of awareness. The death, the devastation, his family. A part of him knew that one day soon he would have to face what happened and acknowledge what it meant for him. He tried to convince himself that he could not be certain that it was not limited to Hawaii, but he knew better, even as drunk as he was. If there was one thing from the presidential address that he did believe, it was that whatever had destroyed Honolulu and its people had indeed affected the entire world.
“Dinoflagellates!” he said suddenly. “I read a book where dinoflagellates—primitive marine bacteria—were forming huge swarms and dissolving people!” It was hard to talk, but if he concentrated he could get it out without slurring or stumbling.
“That’s dumb,” Barbara said. She was swaying back and forth, humming some obnoxious love song that Alex didn’t recognize. “Dino…dinoflaga….dinoflawhatsits are just harmless microscopes.”
“You mean microorgans?” Tom slurred.
“Yeah,” she said. “Micro organs…you have a micro organ!” She burst out laughing, quickly put a hand over her mouth, turned her head and threw up.
“Fuck!” Tom said. “Now we can’t shleep here. We have to find a new plashe.”
“On that note,” Alex said, climbing to his feet. It was difficult to stand and he almost fell. “Goodnight you two. I’m gonna go home.”
“Stay here,” Tom said. “We’re gonna shleep under the shtars!”
“Nah, gotta go.”
“Night,” Barbara said, and laughed again. “Tom has a micro organ!”
Alex stumbled to his cottage, closed the door behind him and collapsed on the bed. He was asleep in seconds.
Chapter 20
Alex paused just outside his cabin and watched the strange procession. There were a dozen people, most of them familiar. They carried what appeared to be an assortment of farming implements: rakes, oddly shaped shovels and other tools he didn’t recognize. Bob walked behind them, wearing one of the pistols Alex had given Max.
“What’s going on?” Alex asked him. The big man stopped and frowned at Alex, his irritation clear.
“Were going to start clearing some land,” he explained. “Get it ready for planting.”
“Outside the barrier?”
Bob nodded.
“Max’s idea?” he asked. It seemed a bit too soon to start something like this. Alex would have given them some more time to deal with the announcement and its implications. Then again, getting out there and doing something could do them some good. He hated the idea of making
such decisions for others, which was a large part of why he was content to let Max run things.
“Yeah.”
“How’d he get them to do it?” Alex asked. “I mean are they volunteers?”
“You’ll have to ask him about that,” Bob said tersely, then walked away after the others.
“I plan to,” Alex muttered, though Bob was out of earshot. He headed towards the “governor’s mansion,” keeping an eye out for members of his team. He had met up with Tom just shy of noon when he’d crawled out of bed with a miserable headache, and the two had tried to trick the airlock sensor to get Tom into the arms room. It didn’t work, and Alex hadn’t seen Tom since, or any of the others. There seemed to be few people around, and everyone he saw was in a hurry to get somewhere.
He found Max behind his desk, his door open. Reynard was sitting across from him, his back to Alex. There was something about that trio—Reynard, Bob and Kristoff—that Alex just didn’t like. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but the very idea of them disturbed him. He hated the way they followed Max around and did everything he told them without question. The world was divided into sheep and wolves, but some wolves were content to attach themselves to those of higher status, following them blindly. He had known soldiers like that, men he served with, and they were dangerous people. He would never turn his back on any of those three, and the more he thought about it, the less he liked the idea of them walking around armed.
“Alex,” Max said, spotting him. “Good morning. What can I do for you?”
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