by Kali Brixton
My heart pricks, as if it senses what’s coming, what I had planned to say myself. I know I have to stop this because it will destroy me to hear those words from her right now, even though I’m dying to know if she feels about me the same way as I do about her. I open my mouth, ready to intervene when she presses her finger to my mouth.
“Please. Let me say this.” There’s determination in her voice, softened by the comfort in her tone. I nod, giving her the floor, as desperate as I am reluctant to hear what she’s about to say. She bounces her gaze back and forth, looking into mine the whole time as if searching for something there. “I know law school wasn’t what you wanted to go into originally, but you have an opportunity to help make others’ lives better, Luca. Those are big shoes to step into, but they’ve been tailored just for you.”
Her confidence in me makes my heart swell and soar as much as it hammers home how undeserving I am of them. “You’re gonna be in a position one day to make a difference in a system that can be broken at times,” she continues. “And I know you’re going to because that’s the kind of man you are… The type of man who protects and defends those who deserve it.” She closes her eyes for a moment, a glassy haze when she reopens them. “And that makes me so damn proud of you.”
My lips find hers, a draw that I can’t escape. I don’t know how long it’s been since anyone has said those words to me, but I relish them all the more because they came from her.
She accepts my fervor and returns it with her own, a fire building between us. I kick the covers back, needing space to move. Ev intercepts and pounces on top of me, throwing her leg over my torso and lining up our hips together as she fuses her mouth to mine once more. My arms draw her closer to me as she breaks the kiss, peppering them across my jaw, then my neck. My hands find purchase in the firm thickness of her thighs, leaving me to knead them as she continues to nibble her way to my collarbone.
Her hips jut backward as her kisses move further down my chest, escaping my grasp. Her lips pause over where my heart is beating out of my chest, whispering a kiss there before continuing her path. Inch by inch, she works her way down my torso, her nose tickling my happy trail, her hands raking down my pecs and grazing my nipples.
My dick is straining against the fabric of my boxers, aching to break free with each brush of her body against mine.
Her lips reach my waistband, causing her to still. As many things as we’ve done this with each other by now, I never tire of that look in her eyes.
Part temptation, part innocence.
All lethal seduction.
She tosses me a wicked grin as she reaches into the fly of my underwear and works my dick through the slit there, taking a long stroke from tip to root when she jailbreaks the hungry bastard and my sack. Her hand drags up and down my shaft slowly, tormenting me further when she crouches down, arching her back like a feline ready to pounce on its next meal.
My neck aches from craning to watch every move intensely, but when the throbbing head disappears between her lips and she locks her eyes onto mine as she takes me to the root, I throw my head back, nearly losing my mind. Every nerve in my body is on fire as her hand and mouth work in tandem, coaxing me to watch Ev weave her witchcraft over me.
Grabbing the pillow she was lying on, I toss it under my head to give me a better view of her sucking and swallowing my self-control. My hands move to her head, caressing her as she works me over, building a rhythm that’s shoving me towards the edge of bliss quickly. With every other descent, she earns a gritted curse from me.
But as amazing as her mouth is, I need more right now. I cradle her head on the next upswing, drawing her face up to look. “That tongue is fucking magic, Ev.”
“That so?” she muses.
“Uh-huh,” I groan as she swipes the slit one last time. “But I want something else.”
She lays a kiss on the needy tip, already missing her caresses, before hopping off the bed. Her clothes start to hit the floor after she hands my wallet to me from the nightstand to fetch a condom. I fumble through the different compartments as she climbs over top of me again and straddles my hips, grinding her swollen, wet folds against my erection. “Fuck!”
Ev stills her movements. “What’s wrong?”
The wallet gets tossed back onto the nightstand. “No condom.” I didn’t check before I left the apartment because I wasn’t expecting this to happen tonight. Dragging my hand down my face, I groan. “I’m sorry.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “What if we don’t use one?”
Her insinuation is a dream come true, but I shake my head, knowing I can’t chance getting her pregnant. Especially now. “I can’t do that to you.”
Her bottom lip catches between her teeth for a moment in thought, then releasing. “I’ve been on the pill for a couple of years. Would you…?” she trails off, leaving me to fill in the blanks.
I’ve never had sex before without a condom, so the prospect of being inside of her with no barriers makes my dick jerk against her slippery entrance. “Are you sure?” She nods, making my heart clench. If this is the last time I can be with her, I want this to be the best one yet. “Come up here with me.”
Her body glides against mine as she moves forward, bringing our bodies flush with one another. My thumbs caress her jawline as I cradle her neck, my fingers rub against the raised skin on the back of her neck. The first time I felt it, I asked her what it was, thinking she might have burned herself with some kind of hair tool. Apparently, she, my sister, and their two friends Eden and Addy got some sort of black light tattoo their freshman year, leaving only a raised set of lines visible. She never told me what it was, promising me she’d show me, but hasn’t yet. Of course, we’ve never been out anywhere together where there was a black light, so that possibility is just a wish now. “You gonna tell me what this is?”
She gives me a half-smile and shakes her head. “One day soon, I promise. There’s something I need to discuss with the girls first.”
I nod, knowing it must remain a secret forever. “Okay.”
Her half-smile stretches into a full one as she brings her soft pillowy lips to my jawline, placing small kisses there before bringing them to my mouth. Our tongues find each other, and I wrap my arms around her back, rolling us over, needing this control. Tiny gasps fall around us as I rub my hard dick against her, hitting her clit over and over.
I coat myself in her arousal, now flowing freely from her as she gets closer to her release, keeping my strokes slow and steady. Fingernails bite into my back and her body jerks against mine, letting me know she’s ready to take me now.
Positioning the head at her entrance, I ask for reassurance once more that this is okay. The only answer I receive in return is her hands finding my ass, pulling me into her. I’ve lost count of how many times Ev and I have done this now, but to feel her walls surrounding me, welcoming me in with nothing between us, it feels like the first time all over again.
Our shared inhales fill the space between us once I’m fully seated inside her.
This is…it’s…
This is everything.
Trapped between my arms, she runs her hands up and down my back while she adjusts to this unfamiliar sensation. After a few heartbeats, I tentatively retreat from her slickness, and slowly, purposefully push my way back in, then repeat the motion as my body pins hers to the bed.
This isn’t about quick and dirty.
It’s about making a lasting memory, one that I will cling to for the rest of my life. I can only hope she will as well because when the sun rises, I have to let her go.
We stare at each other silently, one watching the other as we let our bodies do the talking. There’s so much I want to say to her, words I can’t let leave my mouth because they’d be selfish and unfair. Promises I can’t keep and vows meant to be broken. So, I keep them locked away and hope that showing her how I feel with my body will suffice.
With each movement, I tell her all the things I wish I could say
…
Each thrust into her warmth is an I love you, and every withdraw, an I can’t keep you.
Every time our lips meet, it’s farewell.
We make love for a long time, enjoying the newness. Her whimpers and sighs are music to my ears. My heart swells with the need to stay wrapped up in her forever as a familiar tingle blooms in my spine. “Ev, I’m getting close.”
Her lungs fill with a healthy dose of air. “Me too.”
My pace picks up involuntarily, my body warring against my heart. With my orgasm right on the cusp, I move to pull out, but she holds me there, banding her arms tightly around my torso. “Evergreen,” I plead against her neck.
But my intentions are drowned out as she softly whispers in my ear.
I love you.
Each syllable of her confession pushes until I freefall over the edge, filling her with everything I have to give. Love and sorrow spill from me in waves as her words etch themselves on my heart.
She loves me.
She loves me.
My release triggers hers and she pants through it, shuddering around me, drawing mine out until there’s nothing left. Gasping for air, I pull her on top of me before I collapse and hold her there, wrapping one arm around her while my other hand cups her head. I cradle her as she rests her forehead against my jaw, unable to look into her eyes because if I do, I’ll lose my resolve.
We climb down from our shared high one step at a time until I realize her soft, steady breaths on my chest are because she’s sound asleep. Sleep doesn’t find me for a long time, but before it finally takes its toll, I cowardly let the truth she deserved to hear for herself slip from my mouth.
I’ll love you forever, Evergreen.
9
Everleigh
Annnnd done. The last piece of tape adheres itself to the paper, signaling that my job is finished. I really hope he likes these.
When Luca and I last slept together, I got so caught up in the moment that I let my feelings for him slip out. Ever since then, he’s been distant and hard to get up with. Coupled with the fact that I’m back home, spending the nights I work at RISE with the girls, and spending my days volunteering at Hope House, it’s been difficult to talk on the phone, let alone see each other the past two weeks.
I wonder if my words scared him since this wasn’t the plan, but I can’t find it in my heart to regret telling him. Because I do love him with all my heart, and I want a chance at something real between us. Though the last thing I want to do is push him away, so I'll give him as much time as he needs to figure out his feelings. After all, isn't real love supposed to be patient and long-suffering?
A sinking feeling boils in my gut. What if he doesn't love me? Everything these last four months has whispered in my ear that there might be something more there between us than just a physical connection. If he truly doesn’t feel the way I do, though, I'll have to let him go, even though it'll destroy me.
Our complicated arrangement wouldn’t come without its potential problems. There would have to be a conversation and some things worked out with his dad because of the expectations placed upon him from a young age. Yet, my heart yearns, hoping I'm worth it to him because I know it may mean that he receives the same treatment as his sister did a long time ago.
Lia. If we were to be together, I’d finally have to tell Lia. As my very best friend and his sister, there’s no way I could keep that from her the way I’ve been doing while Luca and I’ve been sneaking around. She has every right to be angry with her brother after what went down when she left her husband, but I'm hoping she’ll be willing to give him another chance. I can see it in his eyes when he mentions to her he wants to reconnect, but it’s been a closed subject between us for a long time—a painful reminder of the past she’d rather leave behind. I can't imagine my life without her in it, and I know this would drive a wedge between us if she didn’t approve.
And my brother. God, my brother will hit the roof when Luca tells him. Maybe if he sees that things are working between us, though, he’ll dismiss the betrayal of trust between friends if he sees Luca makes me happy. Which he does—so much.
I shake my head at the possibility of having to choose between any of them. Let's hope the stars are kind enough to let us create a universe together, filled with all people we love.
RISE is another issue. I'd have to talk to the girls about leaving because there's no way I can keep that a secret from him any longer. He deserves to know the truth, the whole truth, so I'll give it to him once I talk it over with them and figure out a solution that won't leave them in the lurch.
A spark of hope fills my soul. Not only could I break free from the club, but I’d also have a valid reason for doing it. It's partially been what's held me back this whole time, not wanting to disappoint them because I see the freedom it's granted the other three. But one woman’s key to freedom can be another woman’s shackles.
For Lia, RISE set her free from an awful marriage and allows her to dance, her true passion in life, to her heart's content. For Addison, it gives her financial stability and a way to deal with her painful past. For Eden, RISE grants her control over her life, something she didn’t have under that bastard of an uncle, along with a sense of purpose.
For me, though? While I love being with the girls and helping teach the dancers at RISE how to defend and protect themselves, having to lie to so many people in my life about why I'm out so late at night is wearing thin. I’m blessed with a family that loves each other enough to keep tabs on one another, which means being creative with excuses why I'm not able to answer my phone sometimes for a long while. I’ve also had to lie to Luca about staying over at the girls’ apartments to study when in all reality, I had to work at the club those nights.
Having seen the possessive side in Luca a few times while we’ve been carrying on this affair, it’s not something he’d be understanding of. To be fair, though, if the situation was reversed, neither would I. To know that women were seeing him in near nothing, ogling him as he danced for their entertainment would send me into a rage.
Even though the money’s great and has allowed all of us to build a very nice nest egg for our futures, I'd gladly forfeit it all for a taste of normalcy again. It's something I crave more than anything.
The intoxicating scent of possibility fills my lungs, allowing me to breathe in a way I haven’t in a while. Maybe the day when I’ll no longer have to keep everything in my life compartmentalized is coming.
I look at the box I just finished wrapping and smile.
Who knows? Maybe today could be that day.
10
Luca
I was elbows deep in packing up my last few boxes when I heard the front doorknob jingling. Kieran was on his way from getting a few more from one of the local hardware stores, so hopefully that would finish up the last for him and me both. “In here!”
He had talked to his parents the other day about moving back in for a while so he could apartment hunt near the end of his academy training. Dreidan had already moved into his and Bree’s new home, and he was currently en route from Jacksonville with his bride-to-be and her stuff in tow. I’ve never seen a guy more in love than him. Well, all except the man I saw looking back at me in the mirror, which is why I’ve avoided them for the last two weeks.
Ev had tried to call and text me several times during the past two weeks. I’ve been avoiding talking with her as much as possible, trying to steel my resolve before I leave for Italy. Her admission and the last time we slept together had done me in. I knew I’d do something stupid and jeopardize her safety for my selfishness by being around her, so I’ve been a coward. I’ll have to meet her next week somewhere and tell her I’m breaking things off for good, but every time I rehearse the speech in my head, I can’t seem to figure out a way to let her go without being an absolute asshole.
A soft knock on my bedroom door steals my attention, but when I look up, it’s not my best friend with multiple boxes under his arm. It’s E
verleigh, standing there with one box in her hands, wrapped with a bow on top. “Hey,” she trails off, taking in the number of boxes scattered around my bedroom and on my bed. Her beautiful smile fades as her brow scrunches together.
This wasn’t how I had planned it, but my hand is now forced. “Hey. What’re doing here?”
Her smile returns as she looks down at the package. “I haven’t had a chance to give you your graduation gift yet.” She walks over to me and hands me the box, laying a kiss on my cheek. “I thought maybe I could take you and Kieran both out to celebrate. I already gave him his gift, though.”
“Thanks,” I offer, setting the box down on the bed because I don’t deserve a gift. I deserve a kick in the ass for what I know I’m going to have to do—multiple ones by an ill-tempered NFL kicker wearing spike-toed boots.
She looks down at the gift and back to the boxes. “Are you moving out?”
“I’m packing.”
She laughs. “I thought as much.” A moment of silence passes, making the tension that shouldn’t be here grow. Clearing her throat, she clasps her hands in front of her. “So…Mom told me this morning at Hope House that Kieran decided to move home for a while.” She pauses, waiting for an explanation, which I don’t give before continuing. “We haven’t gotten to talk much since…” Her cheeks fill with crimson. “Well, you know. I was wondering where that left you with the two of them gone.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. Time to rip off the bandage. “I’m heading to Italy.”
“Oh…” As expected, Ev looks stunned, but she recovers. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving for the summer?”
“Because I’m not. I’m going to law school there.”
Her face drops as if she’s been sucker-punched in the gut. “Law school. In Italy.” Her brow furrows once more. “What about Emory?”
I shrug, dousing my tone with coolness. “I got a better opportunity, so I’m taking it.”
