“There’s a time to wallow and a time to move on, Mama.”
“Move on?” Pearl raised her voice so high that her words bounced off the ceiling. “I have nothing. Not even a dog to comfort me.”
As if to contradict her words, Pearl’s white cat strutted out of the bedroom.
“I don’t think George would have wanted you to pine like this,” Darcy ventured, craning her neck as she tried to see Stogey through the open door.
“What do you know?” Pearl grumbled. “You were only his wife.” She paused before adding slyly, “And you didn’t even share a bedroom.”
“True,” Darcy admitted without argument. That was how badly she wanted the lawsuit to go away.
“I was there when George needed me. When he lost Imogene. When he fell and broke a hip. When he came up with the cockamamie scheme about how to protect his legacy by stealing you from Jason.”
Stealing me from Jason?
Bitsy and Darcy exchanged glances.
“I was there when he thought through the details of the bench appointment. I was there!” Pearl railed.
“You were there at the end too,” Darcy said kindly, inwardly gnashing her teeth against another revelation about George.
“Everybody wants me to go on as if my heart wasn’t broken.” Pearl choked on a keening cry. “You both think I don’t know about the stages of grief. But you can’t be old and not know. I’m in the angry stage, and when you decide to give me what’s mine, I’ll be in the bargaining stage.”
“Moving backward through the grieving process,” Darcy murmured to Bitsy.
“Mama, you know George wouldn’t have wanted you to act like this. Or to take Stogey away from Darcy.”
“You’re soft. You’re both soft,” Pearl wailed from her perch. “And George was the softest one of all, swayed by a pretty face into thinking she could take on those boys of his.”
Bitsy gave Darcy an apologetic look.
Stogey dragged a black bra into the room, practically prancing with pride. It wasn’t an old woman’s bra, girded for a long day of support. It was a black, lacy underwire with purple trim.
“Hey.” Darcy took it from him and with a start realized, “This is mine. Pearl, have you been rummaging in my drawers?” It was her date bra. And—hello—she hadn’t been on a date since she’d been with Jason. She couldn’t remember when she’d seen it last.
“Me? Sift through your underthings?” Pearl sank onto the top step of the stool. “Only a jealous woman would do that. And I was never jealous of you.”
Darcy shook the bra. “I thought you only wanted one thing from the house.” Stogey. “This wasn’t even George’s!”
“Mama.” Bitsy laid a hand on Darcy’s arm. “It’s time to put a stop to the drama. George loved you. But have you ever considered that he gave everything to Darcy because she wouldn’t be blinded by grief? Have you ever thought he spent all of his marriage to Darcy preparing her to take care of the town and you?”
If any of that had been George’s plan, he hadn’t told Darcy. But apparently he had been as secretive as she was. And he was silent now.
“You have to drop the lawsuit, Mama. Rupert charges by the hour, you know.”
“But Stogey is mine,” Pearl said emphatically. “She’s a Jones. She’s doing what Joneses do best.”
Stogey gingerly clamped his toothless jaws on the strap of Darcy’s date bra and stared up at her as if he wouldn’t mind a gentle game of tug-of-war. His gums were finally beginning to heal. And that face…
There was no way Darcy was giving him up.
“Trust Darcy to do what’s right, Mama. Tell Rupert there’s no need for a lawsuit.”
“You want me to…I’m standing here and only just now realizing that no one loves me,” Pearl said mournfully.
“I love you.” Bitsy hurried to her mother’s side and wrapped her arms around her. “George loved you. You have to have faith.”
“Don’t ‘Mama’ me. I see the signs.” Pearl pried herself free, stiffly indignant. “You’re in cahoots with Darcy. And I saw the way you looked at my lawyer. Maybe you’re in it with him!”
“Mama…please.”
Darcy clutched her bra, picked up Stogey, and left the pair to unravel their emotions on their own. As a family. Of which Darcy wasn’t a part.
Once she was outside, sadness slowed her steps. She didn’t have anyone. If Pearl had her way, she wouldn’t even have Stogey.
A white truck was parked in her driveway. Jason leaned on the truck bed, his silhouette outlined by the setting sun. Darcy’s heart beat faster at the sight of him, at the memory of today’s updates—he’d gone running, lifted weights, been seen strutting around town. What was he doing here? Someone should have warned her.
Darcy cut across the lawn to the main house the way a woman did when she wanted to avoid temptation.
“Your gate was open.” Jason grinned.
She’d left it open to make it easier for Bitsy to leave.
Darcy set Stogey on the lawn so he could mark the perimeter before going in. Her steps resumed. But they were slower, less purposeful. “I thought we agreed we shouldn’t be seen together. I thought I told you…” His larger-than-life presence blocked her memory of what she’d said, because with him she wasn’t alone. With him she had family.
Jason took deliberate steps toward her with that swagger her friends had reported on. “You came away from that conversation with one impression—that you couldn’t see me. It’ll be dark soon. You live on a remote country road. Who’s going to see us?”
“Like we’re back in high school? Sneaking around by the river?”
Makes me glad I raised boys, George said, suddenly making an appearance when he’d been AWOL at Pearl’s.
“I’m proud of you, Darcy. I didn’t say it before.” Tipping his cowboy hat back, Jason kept on coming toward her. “I’m proud of you getting not one degree, but two. Passing the bar. And now being a judge. That takes hard work, determination, and a thick skin.”
He had no idea. “So does hanging on to a bull for eight seconds.”
Say good night, Darcy, George encouraged.
Darcy held her ground, but she was no longer sure which ground she was defending. Her judgeship or her love for Jason. Her husband flashed her his dimples.
And then she knew what needed defending. In the cottage, she’d been the odd man out. But here…her heart wasn’t just beating faster, it was swelling with love and the comforting familiarity that was Jason.
“What are you holding?” Jason was close enough to claim the bra, holding it up in its proper shape. “I remember this pretty thing, and the pretty thing who used to wear it for me.”
Darcy had been Jason’s girlfriend too long to be embarrassed by him touching her lingerie. “Well, before you go getting all sentimental over it, Stogey just found it at Pearl’s house.” She didn’t want to think about Pearl rummaging through her drawers. She snatched it back. “It’s going in the donation pile. Let someone else sneak around with it on.”
Before she knew what was happening, Jason’s hands landed on the swell of her hips. “I wish that we were still in high school, sneaking around the county for hidden places to make out. I miss talking to you, Darcy. Your love and support grounded me, but…” He let his sentence trail off and his gaze drop to the bra.
He let her imagination complete the sentence. He wanted a kiss. He wanted the warmth of her body pressed to his. Or maybe that was her imagination. Her wish.
Judges don’t have time for hanky-panky!
“George.” Darcy’s head fell forward until it rested on Jason’s firm chest. “Every time I get weak, he’s there in my head, telling me what I should be doing. Or shouldn’t, as the case may be.”
Why don’t you talk to Pearl, George?
She won’t listen.
Jason stroked a hand over Darcy’s hair, coming to rest on her bun. “He wasn’t in your head in the courtroom, was he?”
“Oh, he w
as listening and commenting a little.” But only a little. Not the way he seemed to jibber-jabber when she was with Jason. “When George was alive, he had a habit of letting me speak first when he grilled me about the law. I’m sure when he’s good and ready, he’s going to give me an earful about my performance on the bench.” She rubbed her temples. “You don’t think I’m nutty? Hearing him, I mean?”
“No.” He said it so tenderly that she believed him. “The first year I left home, I heard your voice in my head. It was like I needed you with me, shoring up my doubts and keeping me company.”
“Before you rode a bull?”
“No. Different times, like when I was driving to an event after I’d eaten dirt the night before. I’d see something you might have liked. A horse watching me pass by. The back seat of a car filled with balloons. A vendor at a rodeo selling fancy boots. You commented on everything I saw as if you were by my side. It made me smile. It kept me going week after week.”
That had always been the hardest part of his career for both of them. A rodeo man was on the road at least eight months out of the year.
“You never told me that before,” Darcy said softly, staring at the placket of his shirt. “I like that.” But more than that, she liked that Jason understood that she heard George. Giving in, her arms slipped around his waist. “Did I argue with you in your head? Or nag?” The way George did.
“No. You were pretty much just along for the ride, pointing out the good stuff in life.” They stood so close that his words vibrated through her. “If George’s advice bothers you, just tell him to go away.”
Darcy bunched the bra in her hands. “George doesn’t like to listen to someone else’s opinion.” She doubted he ever had.
“Then tell George to shut up.” Jason tilted her face up to his. “Tell him one kiss won’t destroy your career.”
His lips lowered, found purchase, and began a gentle journey to reacquaintance. On her sigh, he deepened the kiss.
It was lovely to be held by strong arms, to be kissed like she was the one thing in the world that sustained this man. It was lovely because George was as quiet as the pond on this still, twilit night. Darcy and Jason were together. That was all that mattered.
Her hands moved up his chest and across his stubbled cheek to spear through his hair, knocking his straw hat off. And then her hands met resistance…
“Hey.” Jason pulled back a little, reaching to touch his ear and disentangle the bra strap she’d accidentally hooked over it. He tossed it to Stogey.
Darcy didn’t care. She tugged him closer. “Kiss me again, cowboy, before George comes back and reminds me what I’ve got to lose.”
And her cowboy did. Oh, how he did.
* * *
Something sat on Jason’s foot.
He stopped kissing Darcy to look down.
The moon on the horizon illuminated Stogey sitting on top of his boot. They’d been leaning against his truck and making out like teenagers who couldn’t stand for the night to end.
Darcy stepped out of his embrace, easing the bra from Stogey’s chops. “George is back.”
Jason inwardly cursed George and his place in Darcy’s head. He picked Stogey up and scratched him behind his ears. The dog gacked, and gacked again, as if choking on something.
“Stogey.” Darcy took him into her arms. “He always does that when he eats grass. It’s quite rude, but he doesn’t actually vomit anything. I think he just regrets eating it.” She turned toward the front porch, features shadowed because her porch light didn’t come on.
“Wait.” Jason scooped up his hat and fell into step with her. “Can’t I at least walk you to your door and kiss you good night?” Ask you if I can stay for a few days?
“George says no.” She climbed the first step. “We can’t start up again, Jason.”
He drew her back to him. “We’re married and adults. We can do whatever we please. Take it as slow as one step at a time.” He put his foot on the next stair up.
She shook her head. “This could be the way I get what I’ve always wanted.”
“You always wanted me.” He tried not to sound frustrated.
Darcy placed her hand over his heart. “I love you, Jason. I probably shouldn’t admit it, yet there it is. But what good does that do me? I’m in a fight for my future. And if anyone knew we were married…If anyone knew when we got married, I’d lose it all.”
“But you’d still have me.” He brushed his fingers through her hair. “You want that, don’t you?”
“I’ve learned a lot of things in this house,” Darcy said softly. “About the law, about relationships, and about myself. I don’t want to be in a relationship where my man is required to travel eight months out of the year and kiss other women under the guise of corporate advertising.”
This was where Jason was supposed to say he’d do anything to be with her. This was where he was supposed to say he could retire. Heck, he’d missed the start of the rodeo season. He had enough in the bank. He could quit now with the staples and fasteners and pins inside him to prove he was man enough to win those world championships. He could quit and the leg twinges would be an annoyance, not a worry. But he had to be honest with her and himself.
“I want to be with you, Darcy. Only you. I want to live on a ranch with you, raise kids, take you to a bar like Shaw’s on a Saturday night and tell anyone who’ll listen how much I love you.”
She inched backward. “But…”
He hated the way she drew away from him, the way her expression closed off, but they’d delayed talking for too long. “Do you remember when I left for the rodeo at eighteen? Do you remember what my mother said to me?”
Darcy nodded. “Go to college first. Get a fallback plan.”
“But I knew in my gut that I had to be a rodeo man.” He framed her face with his hands, willing her back to him, willing her to give them a chance. “And I know in my gut that the rodeo’s not quite done with me. The same way I know that we—”
“We can’t get back together, Jason. But…” She stared at him the way he’d prayed for months that she would, with love in her eyes. “I can’t stop loving you. And maybe that means you’re my fallback plan. Can’t you leave town for seven months? Go get rodeo out of your system while I figure this judge thing out?”
“My gut says no.” As did his suddenly twinging leg. Jason pressed a kiss to the back of her free hand, subtly flexing his aching thigh muscle. “But hey, a question like that…It’s the kind of thing old George would say during sentencing. You can pay a fine or leave town for seven months.”
“It is very George-like, isn’t it?” She sighed.
He drew her closer, but not close enough. The little dog in her arms was between them. “Maybe you’re more like the old man than you think. Up here.” He made a small circle on her temple with one finger. “Maybe that voice you hear in your head is the girl George wanted you to be.” He ran a hand past her temple, fingers tangling in her silken tresses, tugging at those pins that confined her hair. “But no matter what voice you hear in your head, in my heart you’ll always be mine.” He leaned closer, coming in for a kiss. And she was going to let him.
Stogey chose that moment to pass a stinker.
“My chaperone.” Darcy chuckled, stepping free of his embrace. “Love doesn’t mean we don’t have obstacles to overcome.”
“I like to think of Stogey more like your good luck charm.” And then, because he could, he leaned forward and kissed her again.
It was a different kiss from the ones in the driveway. Slow. Careful. Instead of combustible heat, there was tenderness. Instead of the urge to rip off her clothes, there was contentment.
This, he thought. I want this.
Not the empty adulation of the crowd. Not a photo opportunity kiss. Not the hawking of someone else’s product. He wanted Darcy. In his arms. In his bed. In his life.
She drew back. “That was so slow it should have been boring.”
It hadn’t been, a
nd they both knew it.
“That was a husband kissing his wife.” Jason tugged her closer, careful of the dog. “That was coming home, darlin’. Don’t even try denying it.”
She didn’t.
Jason pressed on. “Honey, I hate to ask this, but…I need a place to crash for a few days.” He explained about Ken’s unexpected visit.
Darcy rolled her eyes. “Stay with Iggy.”
“And cramp his style? Or worse, bear witness?” Jason shook his head.
“What about your mom?”
They exchanged a glance, both chuckling. Darcy knew his mother and her boundary-crossing, overly nurturing streak.
“Let me stay a few nights on your couch. I promise not to pressure you into anything. I’ll just be here, guarding your back.”
She studied him for a moment.
He was almost certain she’d refuse. But he didn’t loosen his hold. He was good at hanging on as long as need be.
“George doesn’t like it, but…okay.”
Chapter Fourteen
In the moment Darcy said okay…
In the instant Jason pressed a kiss to her forehead…
She had regrets. And those regrets sent her back in time to her early friendship with Jason.
“Jason. Darcy.” Judge Harper entered the dining hall of the juvenile detention center and called them over. “I thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing.”
Darcy obediently came forward. Joneses didn’t mess with judges, even though Judge Harper was old and rich, her mother’s kind of mark. She smiled and caught Jason’s eye, silently sending him a message to smile as well.
He did. Jason had a nice smile, like her mother’s.
Judge Harper looked at them both and then nodded. “I see you two formed an alliance. Good. Are you ready to go home?”
“Boy, am I.” Darcy’s smile practically split her cheeks.
Her mother entered the dining hall, which also doubled as a visiting center. She spotted Darcy, but instead of joining them, she sat on the bench in the corner.
Darcy took a step toward her.
Judge Harper held her back with a hand on her shoulder. He put his other hand on Jason’s. “You know, most kids who come here more than once think they’re smarter than the system. They use good manners. They smile. They pretend they’ve learned their lesson. But character can’t hide behind a smile forever.”
Dream a Little Dream Page 14
