“Sex!” cried Mary-Anne, “we didn’t have sex.”
“What? Oh, is—is that the problem? He’s upset because he thinks your not being ready means you don’t love him? Look, I can talk to him.”
“No.” She seemed like she wanted to say more so Alison waited, fidgeting. Finally Mary-Anne came out with, “It wasn’t that it was new or scary or that I’m inexperienced because I’m not Alison, I’m not. I had sex when I was 17 I just never told you about it.”
Be supportive. Be supportive. “No, I didn’t know about that.”
“Yeah, well, you were living with George how could you know what was going on here? He’s not as bad as you think. He didn’t sleep with me then break up with me. He—he didn’t want me.”
Chapter 9
Margaret still wasn’t talking to her and Mary-Anne was disconsolate but at least things at work would improve with the return of Charlotte. Alison raced to hug her as soon as the lift doors opened.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you. How was England?”
They separated and moved towards Charlotte’s desk.
“Amazing. Too many things to tell.” Charlotte dropped into her chair. “Too much jetlag.”
“Do you want a coffee?” Alison was already heading toward the kitchen.
“You are an angel. Besides,” Charlotte called after her, “you already know everything. But your emails to me were severely lacking in substance.”
From the kitchen Alison called back “Nothing to tell.”
“How are you coping living with your sisters? You haven’t killed either of them while I’ve been gone I hope.” Charlotte grinned widely as Alison exited the kitchen. “Or maybe I do. It’d be nice to know you were keeping yourself busy while I was gone.”
“No, they’re fine.” Alison handed her the mug. “Alive and fine. Margaret is a teenager and isn’t talking to me at the moment and Mary-Anne is, well, Mary-Anne. She’s having a meltdown over Will, I think they broke up.” With forced casualness Alison walked to her desk and added, “His sister’s in town.”
“His sister. You mean the sister that told you George is a low-down-dirty cheater? That sister?”
“Her name is Gina, Charlotte,” Alison said in a ‘I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it-tone.’ She rounded the partition to her own desk. “How’s Maria?”
“Adorable as always. Missed me, of course, but it wasn’t too hard on her with the Skype calls. How has Reggie been?” Charlotte’s head popped up above the divider. “Did she look after him? Did he miss me?” Charlotte lent forward with each question.
“You can ask him yourself when you see him.” Alison hid a smile.
“Right, of course.”
“Did you...miss him?”
“I see him every day. I’m used to seeing him, to him being there. I worried he couldn’t find the things he needed. Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what? I’m just sitting here.” Alison reflected that had Mary-Anne been in her place she would have pushed harder. She would have decided Charlotte was in love with Reggie and meddled.
“How’s work been? Did you survive without me?”
“It feels different. I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel like my domain anymore.”
“Because I wasn’t here?”
“I don’t know. I’m looking at things differently.”
“So, how are things going with Lady Susan?” Charlotte raised her eyebrows in question and titled her head to the office behind Alison.
Alison sighed, her usual response. Getting a new boss was never easy and Susan had been a big change from Katherine (never Kathy), the original ‘Lady.’ It was a term Charlotte had coined that stuck so well Alison had to remind herself never to address Katherine by the title.
“She’s an extremely different sort of ‘Lady’.”
“What, like a ladybug?”
“Not one to be easily squashed. You’ll meet her. She and Reggie have gotten...close. But anyway,” Alison continued quickly, “I was going to tell you that I’ve seen Katherine. I was summoned.”
“Summoned?”
“I had tea with Katherine.”
“You were summoned?”
“We had tea.”
“—into the presence of her ladyship. To her house.” Charlotte put on a strange worshipful voice.
“I’ve been before. When she introduced me to Will. No Will this time though. We did talk briefly, but I get the impression that he’s avoiding me actually.”
“Because of the breakup?”
“Before the breakup.”
Charlotte waved her hand as if to dismiss Will. “Did you have tea? And little sandwiches?” Charlotte’s voice rose. “What I wouldn’t give to be invited to one of those afternoon teas!”
“Yes, yes and I’ll take you for high tea.”
“I will hold you to it.” Charlotte grinned. “So, what did she want? You know you don't work for her anymore.”
“I feel like I owe her, she taught me so much, she gave me a job, she introduced me to Will who introduced me to George...The best bit though, she asked after you.”
“And you said?”
“That you were cavorting around jolly old England drinking beer and wandering through old churches.” Alison attempted an English accent.
“That’s an almost accurate description, if a terrible accent.”
“Thank you.” Alison attempted a seated bow. “I think she’s taking up matchmaking in her retirement.”
“I still maintain she was trying to set you up with Will and that was years ago. Perfect assistant meet perfect grandson, make perfect babies. You did get a boyfriend out of it eventually.”
“Whatever.” Alison couldn’t meet Charlotte’s eyes, she couldn’t tell her about George. She reached into her handbag. “I hope this one works out better.”
“So, who did she introduce you to this time? Another grandson? Great nephew? Neighbour? Strange man she ran into on the street?”
Alison pulled a face, still rummaging in her handbag.
“OK scratch that last one,” Charlotte continued. “She would never do that. She’d probably screen every possible candidate for criminal record and financial stability.”
“Well for your sake I hope she does, or rather did.” With a flourish Alison handed Charlotte a piece of paper.
“What? Me?” Charlotte read, “Colin.”
“Charlotte and Colin sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N -”
“No. So, spill.”
“Well, she asked how you were, cavorting etcetera, then later when I was about to leave she brought up Colin. He’s an architect—”
“Snore.”
“—Who specialises in historical preservation—”
“Ooooh.”
“—he studied in the States—”
“Pretentious.”
“—but chose to come home instead of stay and work there. Honestly, I don’t know how she does it. He sounds kind of perfect for you.”
“Good attention to detail,” Charlotte agreed.
“God, I miss that woman.”
“She is very careful at keeping her personal and professional lives separate, isn’t she?”
“It makes seeing her a little awkward,” Alison admitted.
“So...I should just call Colin?”
“There was a lecture about sexual politics...despite her correctness in everything I get the impression the she may have been a women's libber in her youth. Apparently, she recognises it is now acceptable for a woman to make the first move. She was very clear though, no texting, you have to call.”
“Oh God, I have to call him?” Charlotte's voice went high pitched. “I can do that, I’m a modern woman. If Katherine thinks I can do it then I can.”
“Good girl.”
“How do I thank her? Should I invite her to tea?”
“Write her a letter. I’ve never known a person to get so much mail. She handwrites anything personal, no email, it’s too informa
l, impersonal. She lectured me about the importance of it once. When she went overseas she had her personal mail forwarded to the office. Which was actually really lovely, she didn’t want to inconvenience me at all.”
Chapter 10
Alison ran into Will as she was leaving his grandmother's after another afternoon tea interrogation session. She didn’t even bother to say hello. “You’ll be relieved to know that Mary-Anne is OK.”
Will shuffled his feet.
“Come on Will. Do you have anything to say?”
“I didn’t know...” he trailed off.
“Didn’t know what? That your girlfriend will react badly if you suddenly start ignoring her? That you hurt her? That she loves you?”
“All of the above?” He shrank away from her anger.
“Jesus, Will, what were you thinking? If you don’t want to be with her anymore just man up and break up with her.”
“I just didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Know what?” She almost spat the words.
“You know, about me.”
“What about you?”
“You know.” He was pleading with her.
“No, I don’t Will, obviously. I can’t find any explanation for your behaviour. You stop talking to me and start dating my sister which is fine. I figure you feel slightly weird about the situation. Then, you stop talking to her but don’t actually bother to break up with her and somehow I’m supposed to understand this?”
“You know what happened. You said that Gina told you.”
“That George cheated on her? Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?”
“That’s what she told you?”
“Well...” What had Gina said? Alison remembered a conversation she’d had recently with George.
“Why did we break up?” George asked. “We’re so great together.”
When she didn’t answer he nudged her gently. “Al?”
She sighed. Why did he have to ruin things? “You know why, George.”
“No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking. I thought everything was fine then I come home one day and you’re packing. No explanation, it’s just over.”
She shifted away from him. “You cheated on Gina—”
“I never—”
“—and I couldn’t stay with someone like that.”
“I never cheated on Gina!” She flinched and he calmed down. “Why the hell would you think that? You met her that day, didn’t you? Is that what she told you?”
“Yes! Well, no. Well yes and no. She said that you kissed someone.”
“That’s not quite what happened. Someone kissed me.”
“Oh.” Oh God, had she screwed everything up?
“Yeah, it makes quite a difference.”
“How did she ... did she see it?”
“I told her. He wasn’t going to.” George moved to pull her close again.
She resisted. “But the second my back was turned you jumped into bed with Lydia.”
“I was upset. You’d just broken up with me. But I never cheated. I’m not the only one who uses sex when they’re upset. Do you want to talk about what’s going on in your life right now?”
He wasn’t going to.
“You?” It was half accusation, half question. “You kissed George.”
“I thought that maybe if I dated a girl you wouldn’t think anything of it, wouldn’t tell anyone,” Will explained.
“My sister, Will?” This time it was an accusation.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her. It was just a ruse. I didn’t realise she’d get so caught up in it. In me.”
“That’s not any kind of apology.” It struck her as ridiculous that her sister would have quite happily been his beard had he asked her. Whether she’d have been able to keep the scheme from Alison was debatable.
“Will you—will you tell Mary-Anne for me?”
Alison sighed. “What do you want me to say?”
“That it wasn’t her, it was me. No—that sounds wrong.”
“The old ‘it isn’t you, it’s me’ line?” She tried to keep the mocking tone from her voice.
He was already backing away. “You know what I mean. You always know the right thing to say.”
“Why is it so essential to keep this a secret? From anyone, including me?”
“You’re a friend of my grandmother’s.” She blinked at his use of the word friend, but Will was still talking, “You’ve been to her house. No one goes to her house. She introduced us to well...you know.”
“Your grandmother’s really starting a breeding programme? Or did she think that pushing us together might make you straight?”
“Um, I gotta...” He reached for door and pushed it open.
“Wait,” she called as a thought struck her. “Is Gina still in town?”
He paused but didn’t turn back.
“She’s here isn’t she? She must’ve known I was visiting Katherine. I want to see her, Will.”
He tried to protest but she insisted and followed him inside. “Please Will. I’d like to see Gina. You owe me that.”
Will gestured vaguely at the staircase. “Her room’s upstairs.”
Alison glared at him till he led her to Gina’s room. After an awkward introduction he left them alone.
“So, um, how’ve you been?” Gina asked.
All Alison’s reserves of strength had dissipated in the conversations with Katherine and then Will. “Can we just not?” She sat down on the bed across from Gina. “You know what’s been going on. You know why I’m here. Why is it that whenever you visit relationships in my family go to hell?”
“I never meant for that to happen,” Gina explained. “To you, or to Mary-Anne.”
“At least Margaret isn’t seeing anyone,” Alison mused, then added “well, not that I know of.”
“I didn’t realise you thought George cheated on me. I hoped you and Will were good enough friends that he would’ve explained.”
“Yeah, well, he didn’t. I had to force every word out of him just now.”
“He was so nervous about me meeting Mary-Anne. He knew I'd see right through it.”
“That's when he got weird on her, after you met. She's devastated.”
“This—how she feels, your sister, I’m sorry—this was how he was after he kissed George.” Gina turned to stare out the window. “I couldn't bear to cause my brother that kind of pain. I thought it would be easier if I was out of the picture. So, I broke up with George and I moved away. It wasn’t till you came on the scene that they started spending time together again, like they needed a barrier to make it ok.”
“I had no idea. It was never weird between them. Then you told me George kissed someone.” Alison ticked the points off on her fingers. “I broke up with George. Will thought I knew and he stopped hanging out with me. Then he started dating Mary-Anne. I kinda get it but,” she threw up her hands, “why is this such a big thing?”
“Will and George have been friends forever. He was a mess. My own brother, sobbing,” Gina sniffed.
“What’s the big fucking deal? Who cares if he’s gay?”
“He does. I don’t think he realises that no one else does. Isn’t that the most pathetic thing?”
Alison silently agreed.
“After I broke up with George,” Gina continued, “I had nothing of my own. I was drowning in obligations, in other people's lives. I had to get away or lose any chance of having a life of my own. Maybe it was cowardly but it was easier.”
“I—”
“George was addictive. I couldn’t be here and not be with him.” She sounded desperate. “You know what he’s like. I would drown in him.... So, I moved away for university,” and here, Gina’s words were slower, measured, “and didn't come back.”
“That—” Alison thought about moving away from her sisters, her mother, John, Edward, “—that must have been hard.”
“It was. All alone for the first time. But finally, finally, something in my life w
as allowed to be about me.”
There didn’t seem to be anything else to say. She wasn’t sure what she’d wanted from this. She’d yelled at Will and now felt only pity for him and the mess he’d created. His life, his sister’s, hers, her sister’s and George’s too.
“Thank you.” Alison stood, and gestured for Gina to stay when she rose also. “I’ll show myself out.”
Katherine appeared at the bottom of the stairs as Alison was descending.
“I assume that’s all sorted then?”
“I—”
“Good, good. Thank you for coming dear.” Katherine ushered her out the door.
Alison looked at the closed door. “What the hell just happened?”
She wished for a moment she could walk away, like Gina had. She sniffed, breathed out, then returned home to her sister.
Chapter 11
“So, I was just a prawn?”
“Pawn, Mare. It’s a chess piece, not a crustacean.”
Alison tried to convey Will’s meaning without making allowances for his behaviour. She wasn’t sure he deserved it.
“So, he’s gay?”
“He never actually said that. But, yeah.” Alison shrugged. “I guess so.”
“And he feels he has to hide his true self?”
“Yeah. Why, I’m less clear on.”
“Oh, the poor thing,” was all Mary-Anne said. It was enough for now. She understood that there was nothing she could have done, that it hadn’t been about her at all. She cried again but it was quieter this time.
When Mary-Anne had calmed down Alison dropped her next bombshell.
“When Mum and John come home, I’m moving out.” She wouldn’t run away like Gina but she would make a life for herself.
Mary-Anne perked up. “Are you and Ed moving in together?” She almost bounced, her tear stained face bright. “That’s wonderful! Oh my god I—”
“Stop. Mary-Anne, just stop.” She placed a hand over her sister’s, steadying her. “Edward is not my boyfriend, we aren’t carrying on. Please stop telling Marg stories. I don’t understand, where is this coming from?”
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