Scorching heat.
He bit harder.
Her back arched. “Jock!”
“Shh.” He was pushing her back on the bed. “And the reason why I don’t want the damn light on is that I can’t keep control of myself right now. I’m burning up, and I have to be careful with you.” He was pushing her legs wider, then his fingers were rubbing, plucking, massaging. “And all I want to do is push up and in you.”
His fingers … Her stomach was clenching. He wasn’t the only one burning … She gasped. “Then do it.”
“I will.” His mouth was on her breast again. “Soon.”
His fingers again, but moving slowly now, but deeper.
Not deep enough. Not fast enough.
She couldn’t stand it.
Her nails bit into his shoulders. “Now!”
“No.” He was breathing hard. “Easy, love. I have to be careful to—”
“No, you don’t.” Why was he talking instead of moving? She was pulling him over her, in her. “I can’t stand it. You don’t have to do anything but this.” She lunged upward.
Pain. She cried out and froze for an instant.
“Dammit,“Jock’s voice was harsh, agonized. “See? Why wouldn’t you listen?”
“Because it wasn’t important. This is the only thing that’s important.” She started to move again. “You. Me. This. Help me, Jock.”
Fever.
Heat.
Her heart was beating so hard she could scarcely breathe.
“No.” His teeth were clenched. “You’re important. Don’t do—” He broke off as she lunged up to meet him again. He closed his eyes. “Shit!”
Then he was going deep, holding her hips immobile as he plunged. He was swearing softly as he moved. “Cara, this isn’t what— I should have known I’d—”
“Shut up.” She pulled him down and kissed him. “I love you. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. If you want to worry about something, worry about not disappointing me.”
He gazed down at her, and she could see the moisture glittering in his eyes. Then he stroked the side of her face with the most incredible tenderness. “I believe it’s too late for anything else,” he said unsteadily. “So I promise you won’t be disappointed.” He kissed her, slowly, sensuously. “But I think we’ll slow down a bit, just a little because I can’t bear anything else. But teasing is always good.” His fingers were rotating, plucking, pinching, pulling. “What do you think?”
She cried out.
His heat. His fullness. Surrounded by the erotic motion of his fingers.
She thought if he didn’t stop, she was going to scream.
Then his fingers moved again, and she knew she’d scream if he did stop.
“Jock…”
“Soon, love.” His face lean, intense, his lips curved in a purely carnal smile. “There’s so much more … I’ll make the wait worth your while.” He added another finger. “After all, I made you a promise.”
She gasped, her muscles clenching. “I don’t … believe I can wait. Can’t you postpone this until later? I … think … that … we should—”
Then she did scream as he made still another movement. “Jock, dammit, now.”
“Shh. Okay. You’re right. Definitely later.” He was over her, gathering her still closer. “No way I can take any more of this…” He kissed her, and whispered, “Hold on to me, Cara.” He kissed her again. “And I’ll hold on to you. I’ll never let you go again.”
Never let you go. Sweet words. Glorious words, she thought dazedly. Words she had wanted to hear from him for all the years they’d been together, through deep friendship and the first bewildering tendrils when friendship had turned to love. Had that love always been there waiting to be born? Eve had thought that it had.
It was as if the two of you had been meant to complete each other.
What a beautiful thought. As beautiful as Jock, as beautiful as this moment.
Then she couldn’t think at all because he was deep inside her, and the world was exploding around her.
Never let you go …
* * *
“Are you all right?” Jock was frowning as he sat up in bed and watched Cara come out of the bathroom. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, I’m not all right.” She took off her shower cap and tossed back her hair before tightening her robe and crawling back in bed. “I’m perfect. I’m no longer an anachronism. Thank you very much. And you were almost not turned off by the fact that you had to do the deed.”
“Shut up,” he said gruffly as he pulled her close. “You are perfect. But you were perfect before, and I was not turned off by anything. You’re totally magnificent.”
“I’m totally magnificent when I’m playing my violin. I’m a mere amateur at playing this kind of game. But I’ll get better with practice.” She tucked her head in the hollow of his shoulder. “And, admit it, you were intimidated at the idea of despoiling my virgin body. You were backing away so quickly, I thought I was going to lose you for a minute.”
“I was not intimidated. I was worried about hurting you, but that wasn’t my problem.” His lips twisted bitterly. “But it might as well have been because I managed to put you at risk anyway. So much for protecting you. I was a total failure. Nothing was going right. I was an ass. I went up in flames.”
“Thank God.” But he was clearly upset, and she did not want anything to spoil this night. “And I saw no sign you were a total failure. You were entirely too good. Why were you being an ass?”
“You probably haven’t had time to think about it. I didn’t protect you. I was intending to do it, but it was you, and I’d wanted you for so damn long and—I’m making excuses and there are no excuses. Please … forgive me.”
She stared at him in bewilderment. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“I told you that you hadn’t thought about it. Dammit, for all I know you could be pregnant. I didn’t protect you, dammit.”
“And that’s why you’re ready to cut your throat? For heaven’s sake, I didn’t give you a chance.” She started to laugh. “And I didn’t protect me either. Which means I didn’t protect you. That’s far worse on the scale when you think about it. I know how responsible you are and what kind of burden a child could be on you. Because with you, it would be a lifetime commitment whether or not you wanted to be a father. So who’s most to blame, Jock?”
“Me.” He was scowling. “Because you’re young and brilliant and shouldn’t be tied down by my selfishness. Don’t try to be generous. I screwed up.”
“I don’t remember it quite like that. I seem to recall I was being very aggressive trying to overcome that damn virgin stigma. But, of course, you wouldn’t take that into consideration.” She suddenly scooted away from him, sat up in bed, and crossed her legs. “So I’d better clarify this point before it takes on a life of its own.” She giggled. “Actually, that’s pretty funny, but you’re not laughing.”
“You bet I’m not.”
“Then let’s go back to square one. Poor little virgin victimized by an irresistible cad and unable to defend herself from the lustful fiend.” Her smile faded. “First, I was a virgin, and I do find you irresistible, but I had to fight to get you to seduce me. And I’ve made it plain I’m grateful you went to the bother of doing it. In addition, I welcome and delight in that lust. If I’d wanted to defend myself, I would have had no problem.” She tilted her head. “You’re still frowning, I’m not convincing you. Okay, I should have known that the pregnancy idea would scare you on my behalf. You persist in thinking that I’m too innocent and inexperienced to consider the consequences and was just carried away.” She shook her head, and said bluntly, “I thought about it before I went to you that night at the hotel in Atlanta. I didn’t know what was going to happen when I saw you again. All I knew was that I loved you, and I had to make it work somehow. Sex was always a possibility, and I’m not an ignorant child.” She leaned forward, her gaze holding his own. “I
didn’t care if I got pregnant, Jock. Not then, not now. It was always my choice. I thought of it as a win-win situation. I knew if it did happen, and everything else went wrong, I’d at least have your child.” She added softly, “And what a wonderful gift that would be to me.”
“Oh, shit.” His silver-gray eyes were glittering with moisture as he reached over and pulled her back into his arms. “You’re crazy,” he said thickly as he tucked her head into the hollow of his shoulder. “Completely out of your mind.”
“No, don’t you see? Win-win.”
“Maybe for me.” His voice was uneven. “But not for you. You’ll forgive me if I hope that wonderful ‘gift’ is put on delay for a considerable time. I won’t have you cheated.”
“You still don’t understand.” She lifted her head to look at him warily. “And does that mean you’re not going to want to have sex with me again tonight? There’s such a thing as closing the barn door too late, Jock. I don’t want—” He was kissing her, deeply, hotly. She could feel the muscles of her belly clench. “Yes?”
“Not until we get you protected, which will be the first thing in the morning. I don’t give a damn about barn doors. No more taking chances.” He was leaning over her, looking down at her. “I went nuts before, I won’t make the same mistake this time.” He kissed her again. “But there’s sex; and then there’s sex.” He opened her robe. “Let’s experiment. There are so many ways…”
LAKE COTTAGE 2:10 A.M.
“There you are.” Eve breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Michael curled up on the porch swing. “And what are you doing out here at this hour?”
“Just listening to the wind in the trees.” He sat up as she came toward him. “I was thinking that Dad might be listening to the wind in the trees where he is now. But it’s probably a different sound from here. When we were on that last camping trip, Dad told me that different elevations and lakes make sound travel thinner or fuller. He’s in the mountains, isn’t he?”
“You know very well he is. You spent hours going though those West Virginia maps before you went to bed tonight.” She sat down beside him. “And then you scoot out here at two in the morning without saying a word to me? Not good, Michael.”
“I didn’t want to wake you. I didn’t think you’d worry.” He looked down at the blue Subaru and black Lexus parked a short distance away beside the lake. “You knew Mr. Kaskov’s men wouldn’t let anything happen to me. You said that’s why they’re here, to keep us safe.”
It was true she was growing a little more confident about the two Russians she’d reluctantly permitted to keep an eye on Michael and her. They were like unobtrusive shadows, and Cheknof seemed very conscientious about staying close to Michael. He’d even insisted on taking Michael to school in the morning and waiting all day to bring him home.
“I’d still prefer you let me know when you decide to wander.” She slid her arm around his shoulders. “Why can’t you sleep? Are you worried about your dad?”
“Sort of.” He looked thoughtfully out at the lake. “Maybe not yet. I just keep thinking about him. I feel as if I’m with him. I know he’s in the mountains, but maybe he’s near a lake? Not a medium-size lake like ours, bigger, and there are woods all around him.”
She was silent, then said carefully, “Of course he could be near a lake. After all, he’s in the middle of a wilderness. And it’s natural that you would associate his location with elements that you and your dad have in common.” Her words were entirely practical as a mother’s should be when grounding an imaginative ten-year-old. But who knew how much was imagination and how much was pure mystic Michael? “But it’s nice that you feel that you’re with him. I wish I could feel like that right now.”
Michael frowned. “But you’re always with him. Whenever I’m with him, I can feel you there. Didn’t you know that?”
“Yes.” But she hadn’t realized that Michael was aware of the strength of the bond between them. “But that’s kind of an always thing, much vaguer than what you were talking about.”
“It doesn’t feel vague. It feels … warm.” His gaze was still on the lake. “I don’t want him to be alone. I want to be with him.”
“You said that you felt like you were with him,” she said gently.
“No. Really with him.”
“You know that’s impossible.”
“Is it? He wouldn’t say that if I were out there alone.” He glanced at her face. “Or you, Mom. He’d never leave you anywhere alone. He couldn’t stand it.”
“I hear what you’re saying.” She made a face. “You have to realize he doesn’t want us with him. It’s his job. We have to try to understand.” Though she was not having much success. She hadn’t been able to reach Joe more than twice in the last day as he moved in and out of cell-tower reach. She was distinctly on edge. “He’s smart and tough and better at what he does than anyone I know. We have to trust him.”
“I trust him.” He was still frowning. “But it’s not enough. Not this time. Maybe I’ll be able to figure out something so that we can help him out a little.”
“Maybe you will.” She got to her feet. “But how about coming back to bed and getting a little sleep before you have to get up to go to school? You have soccer practice this afternoon.” She smiled. “You said you never have nightmares, but perhaps this will be one of those times when you get a little help figuring out stuff.”
He smiled. “Okay.” He followed her to the door but stopped abruptly to turn and look at her. “He’s tired, Mom,” he said softly. “He’s missing us. He wants to come home. But he thinks he’s very close now. He’s excited, and he’s looking at a funny-looking house across the lake and wondering if that farmer’s truck might be in woods near there.”
She went still. “Really?” She tried to smile. “Maybe you don’t need help figuring out anything tonight. You appear to have everything under control.”
He shook his head. “It comes and goes.”
She put her arm around him as she drew him into the house. “Be sure you let me know if anything interesting comes your way,” she said lightly as she locked the door. “I miss your dad, too.”
“He’s safe right now, Mom,” he said quietly. “Like you said, he’s very smart.” He looked back at her as he headed down the hall to his room. “I won’t let anything hurt him.”
“Not your job, young man.” She was turning out the lights. “I took on that duty when you were two years old on that day in Scotland when your dad and I were married. Leave it up to me.”
“But how can I?” His smile was suddenly luminous. “When Dad said that I had to take care of you? It’s all one, isn’t it?” He turned away. “Night, Mom.” He disappeared into his room.
She shook her head as she went past his door to her own bedroom. It had been a strange several minutes, and she still wasn’t sure what had occurred. Could it be that Michael was in some kind of psychic contact with Joe? He had never indicated before that it had ever happened, but she and Michael had possessed such a bond for the first few years of his life. It had gradually disappeared, and she had thought that it was because the contact was no longer necessary. Admit it, she had never been certain about anything concerning Michael except that he was special and beloved. That was enough for her; anything else would set him apart, and she feared the loneliness it might bring him.
But if Michael was in contact with Joe, it might mean that her son felt the bond might be necessary to protect his father. The thought sent a chill through her. It was a bizarre idea, but maybe some force out there was trying to find a way to keep Joe alive and with them.
What force?
“Bonnie?” she whispered. “I don’t like the idea of being closed out of this private club you seem to have with Michael. But I’ll take it if that’s how it has to be. Just please stick around and give Michael and Joe a hand now and then…”
LAKE KEDROW, WEST VIRGINIA 5:45 A.M.
Joe slowly lowered his binoculars after gazing across the lake
at the forest on the other side.
No sign of anyone in those woods. No sign of that farmer’s truck on which he’d been getting tips on sightings for the last two days.
Are you out there, you son of a bitch?
Every instinct was telling Joe that he might be very close. But instinct was never enough. The only approach to those woods and the ranger station was the road around this lake or a canoe. Either would be clearly visible from the opposite bank. He’d have to leave the car here and go the rest of the way on foot or risk being spotted. That would take him several hours and put him near that forest in midday but he could always wait for darkness to strike if there was an obvious threat.
He put on his knapsack and started to walk down to the overgrown path that led around the lake. His eagerness was growing with every step after only going a quarter of a mile.
It felt right.
Yet he knew instincts could fail you and prove deadly so he needed to be very careful. Even if he didn’t feel like being careful. All the stored-up energy and bitterness of the hunt was streaming through him as memories of what Cara had been put through by Svardak flowed through him. His pace unconsciously quickened.
I’m coming for you, bastard. Just a little longer …
HOLIDAY INN 11:55 A.M.
So far, so good, Cara thought as she moved silently from the bathroom toward the door of Jock’s room. Jock was lying on his side, his eyes closed just as they’d been when she’d left his bed ten minutes ago. Now all she had to do was get out of here and to her own room before he—
“And where do you think you’re going?”
Busted.
She sighed and turned to face him. He still hadn’t moved from his position, but his eyes were now open, and he had a faint smile on his face. She grimaced. “I should have known that I wouldn’t get away with it. You’re looking entirely too smug. How long have you been awake?”
“Since you slid out of bed.” He held out his hand to her. “I missed you. I’m sorry you found me so unsatisfactory that you decided to skip out on me. Come back to bed, and I’ll try to do better.”
Dark Tribute--An Eve Duncan Novel Page 23
