"What?" she asked as she looked over her shoulder and changed lanes.
I hesitated, not sure what to say without giving anything away. Sam had heard my harpy story and she might make a connection if I wasn't careful. "Suppose monster aliens invaded the earth and they looked like…giant insects or something."
"I saw that movie," she snickered.
"Yeah, and it was gross," I added. "But try to get serious."
"Okay," Sam laughed. "So are these monsters capable of intelligent thought or are they just animals infected with some rabid disease?"
"They're capable of some intelligent thought," I answered.
"Okay," she said again.
"And suppose they were really horrible and murderous but one of them…helped you. He'd still be a monster, right?"
She shook her head. "He might be, because he might be trying to win your faith so he could betray you later on. So you'd have to be cautious. But you can't make generalizations about an entire…species. If you want to retain your own humanity, you have to recognize the value in the individual."
At that point, I was already pretty sure Chaos hadn't gone through what he'd gone through just to betray me. I just needed someone to confirm what I already knew. The problem was, now I felt horribly guilty about the way I'd treated him. "What about you?" I asked just to be difficult.
"What about me?" she asked like my question surprised her.
"Since you broke up with Nils, haven't you been discriminating against good-looking guys?"
"That's different," she scoffed.
"How so?"
"It just is," she argued stubbornly.
I slouched down in the passenger seat. "And that argument will never win you a Nobel Laureate," I sighed.
She slanted a look in my direction. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I answered quietly, turning my head to look out the side window, finally understanding what Vilschka had won…and what I'd lost.
"Torrie," Sam said softly, interrupting my dark thoughts. "Don't blame yourself."
"What do you mean?" I muttered uneasily. Her words sounded eerily like the last thing Chaos had said to me before he went off to live with Vilschka forever.
"Don't blame yourself for…what happened to you," she soothed awkwardly. "Stress can do strange things to people and make them react in ways they wouldn't normally behave. Like form attachments to bad people. And be suspicious of those who are trying to help. And whatever you went through, I'm sure there was a lot of stress going on."
I wanted to take Samantha's advice but how could I not blame myself? And how had Chaos known? How had he known I would blame myself? "Because I know you," his voice whispered in my head, making me feel worse than ever.
I was still wallowing in those dark thoughts of guilt and shame later in the afternoon when my father slammed into the house and came looking for me. He stabbed a thick finger at me as I sat at the kitchen table. "Thanks to you, I'm under review at work."
"What do you mean?" I asked, shrinking away from him. I don't normally let him bully me without a fight but he was that angry and I was feeling so miserable.
He braced his hands on his hips and leaned over me, almost blasting me backward with the force of his words. "Because sometimes when children run away, it's because their parents are abusive! And my employer wants to make sure I'm not that kind of parent. They don't want people like that working for them."
Ugh. That sounded serious. If my father lost his job, I'd never get a tablet or a car or any of the other things he didn't plan to give me anyhow. And it would make life really difficult for Mom and Sam. "They can interview me," I gritted. "I can go down there and tell them I didn't run away."
"They aren't going to believe you! Especially when you start spouting off about winged harbingers of doom."
"Harpies," I corrected him, sharply. "Harpies of doom."
"I don't even believe you!" he shouted right over my words. "As far as the company's concerned, you're a runaway and it might be my fault."
My father's rant pushed me over the edge.
"Pater," I screamed, basically losing it. "I'm sure your name will be cleared and your faultless record reinstated once I tell them you've never laid a finger on me and have only slightly deafened me in one ear from shouting at me. Let me know when they want to talk to me and I'll go down there and restore your honor."
He stared at me as I slammed out of the room and banged up the stairs into my bedroom. As soon as I saw my reflection in the mirror above my chest of drawers, I picked up a book and threw it as hard as I could. The mirror splintered like it had run into a spider web traveling at light speed. And as the pieces started to fall like sharp tears clinking onto the oak dresser, I fell back on my bed and finally cried. Yeah, it was dumb. The tears were too late and completely useless, but I was a mess and so unhappy.
Chapter Eleven
It took a while before Chaos's family managed to rescue him. They had to deal with a huge storm that dumped several feet of snow in the foothills and that probably slowed them down. But while I was waiting for some good news from them, they texted me with updates. And when they finally separated him from the harpy, I was so relieved and happy I almost cried again.
My father was out of town so my house was a shout-free zone for the time being. And since he wasn't there to micromanage my security arrangements, I was able to get away to see Chaos one afternoon. It took an hour of serious persuading, but I convinced my mom to let me go to the skate park alone, telling her that Sam would be bored out of her head if she had to go with me. And when my sister walked into the kitchen and backed me up, I could have kissed her.
At the park, I met up with Reason and Elaina who share an apartment in Boulder, not too far from my house. Elaina's little white Rabbit raced up the highways as we made the drive to Pine Grove, which is where the rest of the pack lives. But I was literally shaking like a leaf all the way up there so I hardly noticed our climb into the foothills west of Denver. I was going to see Chaos. Only, we hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms. I wasn't sure he'd even want to see me. But it didn't make any difference in the end. Because even if he didn't want to see me, I had to see him. At least one more time. Just to make sure he was okay. And to apologize.
On the way up there, Reason turned in his seat and described how they'd found the mine with the help of my landmarks but how Chaos had given them the slip. Evidently there was indeed another shaft in the mine, just like the harpy had suggested. But there was only one and it went up instead of down. It was at the back of the main tunnel. Chaos and Vilschka had gotten away by climbing the shaft to the surface after bringing down part of the mine to block Reason and his family.
They'd gotten away. Together. "So, he was…with Vilschka?"
"He's given her his rune," Reason reminded me gently. "He has no choice."
"But…he can't stand her."
"It's instinct," he said. "He has to stay with her."
"Unless the harpy dies," Elaina pointed out.
"Unless the harpy dies," he agreed. "Then he's freed from the bond. That's why we have to find Vilschka and get rid of her."
"She's not dead?" I asked, surprised. I'd assumed that they'd killed the harpy.
He shook his head, and a few strands of his pale blond hair fell over his eyes. "After we tracked them down to a second mine in Idaho Springs, we were able to bring Chaos back. But Vilschka's still alive."
"If she's still alive, how did you get him away from her?"
"We managed to separate them," he said somewhat evasively, "when Havoc started an avalanche."
"Your cousin started an avalanche?" I exclaimed.
"I don't think he meant to," Reason muttered, scraping a hand back through his hair and looking like he didn't actually approve of avalanches in general.
"But it worked," Elaina snickered.
"So what's next?" I asked.
"Kill the harpy," Reason answered in a hard voice.
"And after you guys
manage to kill her, Chaos can get on with his life and give his rune to someone else?" I suggested.
Reason shook his head and spilled his hair over his eyes again. "A gargoyle can only give away his rune once in his lifetime."
"Oh," I murmured, and felt a whole new kind of terrible as this information sank in. "That sucks…for him."
"It doesn't mean he can never find someone else and fall in love," Reason pointed out as he pushed his hair back again. "But if his lass isn't wearing his rune, they won't have the same connection that other gargoyles share with their mates."
And that seemed really sad.
"Oh c'mon," Elaina immediately argued. "Are you telling me that if Mim wasn't wearing Dare's rune, they'd be any less devoted to each other?"
"Nay," he laughed. "I'd never dare suggest such a thing."
"Because if I had to put money on it," she insisted, "I'd bet that love is stronger than instinct."
"Love's a strong motivator," Reason admitted. His gaze drifted back in Elaina's direction and he reached for her hand, pulling it to his thigh and lacing his fingers with hers. "But you can't fight instinct."
"How does Chaos look?" I asked. They'd told me Chaos was in his stone form but I was hungry for more news. And I wanted to change the subject before they could get into a big argument. Because Reason's girlfriend is definitely the arguing type.
"He looks thin," Elaina grumbled.
"I don't think the harpy was feeding him very often," Reason growled as he glanced back at me. "Havoc's planning a huge feast for the day he returns to his living form."
"Chaos mentioned Havoc's cooking," I murmured and remembered how hungry I had been at the mine. And how wonderful the first few meals had tasted when I got back home. It's amazing how we take so many things for granted. I could have stared out the window for the rest of the trip and counted my blessings—like running water and central heating and fast food—but I had a lot more questions about gargoyles. And harpies. "What's the deal with the venom?" I asked. "You told me at the bowling alley that harpies crave it. But is it dangerous to humans?"
"It can be," he answered.
I listened in awe while he explained how gargoyles can use their barbs to turn their enemies into stone and how humans can build up a resistance to the poison by taking a small amount mixed in water every day over an extended period of time.
"In its diluted form, it has nutritional value as well," Reason said.
"And it tastes wonderful," Elaina added.
"It also has healing properties for gargoyles," Reason said. "But harpies crave the stuff. They'll do anything to get it, even if it means torture or murder."
"Are they like addicted to it?" I asked, remembering the look on Vilschka's face when she got her first fix.
"Not exactly. But apparently it feels good when it's injected directly into their bloodstream. And once it's in their veins, it makes them more powerful," Reason explained, describing how the venom changed the harpy's rocky armor into the same indestructible material that gargoyles are made of when they're in their stone forms. "But the main reason they want it, is because they think it makes them prettier."
"It does improve their looks," Elaina remarked.
Reason rolled his shoulders in a reluctant gesture. "Elaina and the rest of the girls think the venom acts like some kind of beauty potion. But if it does, we gargoyles can't see it."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"Because we can see what's on the inside of a person, and sometimes that overshadows their physical features."
Shocked by this news, I fell into a stunned silence and shrank into the back seat. I felt suddenly exposed, like all of my self-conscious secrets had suddenly been revealed in all of their awkward misery. If the gargoyles could see more of me than normal humans, surely that would make me look like the biggest loser on the face of the earth. "Thanks for picking me up and taking me to see him," I murmured from the very furthest point in the back seat.
"He'd want to see you," Reason said quietly.
I wasn't so sure. It seemed really sad. It wouldn't be so bad if Chaos had sacrificed his future under the delusion that I was somehow worth it. But it was especially tragic to think he'd made that sacrifice knowing what a pathetic waste of space I was.
"Tell me about Chaos," I said miserably, not wanting to think about stuff like that.
"Chaos? What do you want to know?" Reason asked.
"Anything," I answered morosely. "Everything."
"Well, he always had a wild side," Reason mused. "He could be impetuous and hotheaded and didn't always make the right choices."
"I know what you mean," I murmured. But I didn't mention that I liked his wild side. It was his wild, hotheaded side that had stood up to the harpy and protected me.
"He asked me to tell you he was sorry," Elaina said softly.
"Sorry?" I exclaimed in a low voice. "What does he have to be sorry for?"
"If it hadn't been for him, the harpy wouldn't have kidnapped you," Reason pointed out.
"It wasn't his fault," I murmured, and wondered what they'd think of me if they had known how I'd treated Chaos. He'd given up everything for me and I'd accused him of being the one thing they most despised in the world.
The idea didn't do much for my nerves as we turned off the highway and followed narrow paved lanes and winding gravel roads for five or ten minutes. We were definitely off the beaten path and leaving civilization behind. Seriously, I wouldn't have been surprised to see a bear ambling out of the woods. And as the country road curved around a high cliff, I could have sworn I saw a mountain lion gliding between a jumble of huge gray boulders.
But if I thought I was anxious in the car, it was nothing compared to how I felt when we reached the rental house the gargoyles shared. Even though the guys went out of their way to make me feel comfortable, I was a mess.
Everyone I'd met at the bowling alley was gathered in the sunny room living room, along with a girl I hadn't met before. Whitney seemed to be Defiance's girlfriend…if "girlfriend" means the love of your life. Because Defiance couldn't take his eyes off the slender blond. His intense gaze followed her whenever she wasn't tucked against his side.
"We know you must be anxious to see Chaos," Victor suggested after the pack had finished trading news with Reason and Elaina.
"Where is he?" I asked, my gaze flicking nervously around the room.
"We moved him into the garage for your visit," Victor explained as he headed toward a door in the hall.
My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as I fell in behind him and the rest of the pack followed. But I felt the blood drain from my face when I stepped into the garage. Chaos's gray form was propped against the back wall, his wings spread wide. He was still wearing the jeans Vilschka had given him and his hoodie was tied around his waist. His feet were still bare and a shocked expression was on his face.
I wanted to run to him and wrap my arms around him. Only, I wasn't sure he'd appreciate it, everything considered. But it seemed so lonely in the garage and he looked so cold and lifeless.
I felt a hand on my elbow and looked up into Havoc's face. He smiled back and gave my arm an encouraging squeeze, reminding me of the times when Chaos had done the same. "Why haven't you put him in the sun, so he can wake up?" I asked sadly, returning my gaze to Chaos's face.
"He's bound to that harpy by instinct," Victor explained. "And she's still alive. If we wake him, he'll try to make his way back to her. He can't return to his living form until she's dead."
That was hard to accept. I understood that Chaos was bound to Vilschka, and his instincts made him protective of her but it was so difficult to believe he'd actually want to go back to her. And I needed so badly to talk to him, to apologize for what I'd said, for how I'd acted. So I suggested his family should wake him, arguing that he might be able to tell them something that would help them bring down Vilschka. I got lucky when Defiance backed me up, wanting to know if Chaos could tell them anything about his missing brother
s.
Once the decision was made, Havoc and Dare kicked off their shoes and grabbed Chaos's wrists, bracing their bare feet against the garage's concrete slab while they turned to stone and locked him in place. And moments later, I watched as color filtered into Chaos's handsome features, his eyes shading to a vibrant sea foam, his skin taking on a tawny glow, his hair turning into a luxurious shade of deep brown tipped with white. I held my breath as he turned his head toward me and locked his gaze on my face. "Come here," he rasped.
For several heartbeats, I couldn't move. I'd expected an angry glare or a cold stare or—at best—an impersonal smile. I hadn't expected him to demand my presence at his side. But when he spoke those words, it was like something unlocked inside me and I threw myself at him, clinging to him, my ear against his chest, listening to the heavy beat of his heart.
He couldn't hug me back because his cousins were holding his arms. But he rubbed his lips into my hair and asked, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I'm okay," I told him from a tight throat and looked at the others. "Can't you let him go?" I pleaded, thinking surely he wouldn't try to return to the harpy, at least not right away.
"Nay!" he cut in before they could answer. "Nay. If they let me go, I'll make a run for it. I'll find my way back to that monster. My family's right. It's best this way. I…don't want to be with her," he said. "But something is driving me to reunite with her. I can't fight it. I'd battle everyone standing here to get back to that monster."
"If it came down to it, you'd do the right thing," Victor argued quietly. "You wouldn't hurt us."
"I wish I believed that," he rasped, and warned the pack that the harpy had a small bottle of his venom she could use to extend her strength in his absence. So waking him turned out to be a good idea because the information was important. And while the pack shared a look of concern, he told us to check his pockets because he was carrying some of the treasure Vilschka had collected.
Chaos Page 10
