by Jae
That was where the problems started. They had shared some heated kisses, but Annie had no experiences beyond that. At least not with women.
Annie knew Drew wouldn’t make the first move even though she was the more experienced one. From the moment they had first gotten together twelve weeks ago, Drew had always made sure not to pressure Annie when it came to their physical relationship. She had let Annie initiate their first real kiss, and now it would have to be Annie who introduced lovemaking into their relationship.
She sighed. Sometimes, having a considerate girlfriend was a pain in the ass.
Half an hour later, Annie was still staring at a blank page. She threw the stress ball against the wall and watched it ricochet across the room. “Argh!” The more she thought about her seduction plans, the more she started to panic. She wanted the first time between her and Drew to be perfect, a night that neither of them would ever forget. Valentine’s Day seemed ideal for that, so she had convinced Drew not to prepare any Valentine’s surprises and let her plan a romantic evening instead. On paper, everything looked good. But no matter how much she planned, it wouldn’t change her own inadequacy. Drew deserves a lover who knows what she’s doing, not just the bumbling attentions of a nervous nerd.
She closed her notebook, stood, and started to pace through her bedroom.
If only she knew how to make that first move, then maybe everything else would fall into place.
Too bad she didn’t have a best friend she could call for advice. Drew was her best friend, but she couldn’t ask her about this.
Maybe Jake would know. She stopped pacing. Yes. Her brother was the quintessential ladies’ man, a Casanova who had seduced so many women that he would have needed a spreadsheet to keep track. If anyone knew how to let Drew know she was ready for more, it would be Jake.
She reached for the phone and speed-dialed his cell, hoping he wouldn’t make fun of her.
“Yeah?” Jake sounded out of breath.
Annie frowned. “Hi. It’s me. Annie. Am I catching you at a bad time?”
“No, I’m just halfway up the rock-climbing wall right now.”
“You picked up your phone while you’re hanging from a rock-climbing wall?” Annie rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’ll make it quick, then.” Her cheeks were already glowing with embarrassment, so she didn’t want to prolong this conversation anyway. “What would a woman need to do to…um…seduce you?”
“Walk up to me and strip,” Jake said without hesitation. “Why? Know anyone who’s interested?”
Annie groaned. Obviously, Jake wasn’t a good point of reference. Seducing Drew would need to be a little more subtle. “No.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Forget the question. Let’s say…let’s say you’ve been with a woman for a while. And everything’s going great, but you haven’t had…you know.”
A whirring and then a thumping sound indicated that Jake was back on the ground. He chuckled. “Sex, Annie. You’re thirty years old, and you still can’t say sex?”
“Of course I can say it.” Saying it wasn’t the problem, though. Annie gritted her teeth. Maybe calling Jake hadn’t been such a bright idea, but for Drew’s sake, she was determined to get some information out of him. “Sex. There. I said it. S-E-X. Happy now?”
Jake laughed. “Yep. Okay, so me and my imaginary girlfriend haven’t been doing the horizontal mambo. Why not? She’s not ugly as sin, is she?”
“No! She’s beautiful.” Most people didn’t consider Drew a conventional beauty. Her nose and jaw were a bit too strong and her build too stocky, but Annie considered every inch of her attractive.
“Then why wait?” Jake asked.
“Well, because…because…” Annie dropped onto her desk chair and huffed out a breath. “Because it isn’t just a one-night stand, and you want to get it right.”
“What’s there to get right? It’s sex, Annie, not rocket science. You just insert tab A into slot B and—”
“Eww.” Annie nearly dropped the phone when she attempted to cover her ears. “Spare me the Ikea sex instructions, please.”
“Okay, okay. So what was the question again?”
Annie hesitated. She shook her head at herself. Asking Jake of all people for advice… What was I thinking? “You know what? Forget it. It’s not important.”
“Aww, just when it was getting interesting,” Jake said, his tone teasing.
Not in the mood for silly jokes, Annie said nothing.
Metal clinked on the other end of the line. Then Jake cleared his throat. “You’re not just asking because you’re curious about my spectacular adventures in the bedroom, are you? Oh, shit, Annie. Tell me this isn’t about you and Drew.”
Again, Annie remained silent.
“So the two of you haven’t…?” Now it was Jake who couldn’t say the word. “No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know the details of my sister’s sex life.”
That’s the problem. There is no sex life. Her whole life, she had been the one to give advice to her brother. Not that he ever followed it. But still. She swallowed her pride. “I wouldn’t ask you, but I really don’t know how to approach this.”
Silence filtered through the line, interrupted only by Jake’s breathing. It sounded as if he was close to hyperventilating. “Um, but you’re not…? I mean, you have…? You had sex before, right?”
“Yes,” Annie said, ignoring the heat creeping up her neck. “But this is different.” Her previous experiences really didn’t prepare her for her plans on Valentine’s Day.
“Why? Because Drew is a woman?”
“No. Yes. It’s part of it, but… Before, it never mattered so much.” Sex had never been all that important to her. A part of life that was pleasant, but nothing to get too excited about. She had never wasted much thought on how to please her partner. If sex hadn’t been perfect, so what? Ever-lasting love, butterflies in your stomach, and perfect sex existed only in romance novels. Or so Annie had thought. Until she’d met Drew.
“Christ, relax, will you? If you put so much pressure on yourself, you’re setting yourself up to fail.”
“Thank you very much,” Annie said. “That kind of encouragement is exactly what I need to hear.”
Jake sighed. “Like you said, sex isn’t like assembling furniture. When the time comes, you’ll figure out the mechanics. Don’t worry. I’m sure Drew will tell you exactly what to do to curl her toes.”
Maybe he was right. Drew would gently guide her, as she had with everything else. “But how do I let Drew know that I want…you know?” Great. Now I’m back to avoiding the word.
“Easy,” Jake said. “You just tell her. It’s totally hot when a woman leans over to me during dinner and tells me exactly what she wants to do to me after dessert.”
Easy? No. Nothing about it was easy. Annie rubbed her face with her free hand as she imagined walking up to Drew and telling her she wanted to have sex. Oh, God. No. “I can’t do that.”
“If you can’t say it face-to-face, how about a sizzling text message?” Jake asked. “Last time I got one of those, I left a football evening with the boys faster than you can say cunnilingus.”
Annie wrinkled her nose. What was she supposed to write? Want to get naked and sweaty with me? “No, thanks. I don’t think that’s my style either.”
“Then lose the accountant look and put on something sexy. Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words. If you show up in a mini-skirt, stilettos, and sexy underwear, Drew will know what’s up.”
“I don’t know, Jake.”
Jake let out a long groan. “God, you women are complicated! You can do my taxes with your eyes closed, but you can’t figure out how to let your girlfriend know you want to sleep with her?”
A male voice called Jake’s name.
“I have to go. My next class starts in five minutes,” Jake said. “Stop obsessing about this and just relax.”
Then there was a click and after that only silence.
Annie laid down the phone and tw
irled around and around on her desk chair until the world started to blur.
“Am I allowed to look now?” Drew asked as Annie led her along the wooden boardwalk.
“No,” Annie said. “Keep your eyes closed for a little longer.” She wanted the evening to be a surprise for Drew. Hopefully a pleasant one.
“I think I know where we are anyway. I can hear the ocean.”
Annie glanced down at the waves that washed over the pebbles at the beach, making them sparkle like jewels. “If we are where you think we are—and I’m not denying or confirming it—would it be a good choice for our Valentine’s Day date?”
“The best,” Drew said. “Moonstone Beach is my favorite place on earth. Well, apart from—” She stumbled over an uneven board and nearly fell.
Annie caught her at the last moment. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I should have paid more attention to where I was leading you.”
“Don’t worry,” Drew said. “As long as I land in your arms, I really don’t mind.” With her eyes still closed, she felt around, wrapped her arms around Annie, and pecked her on the lips, as always careful not to go too far in public.
Annie loved Drew for being so considerate, but now it made seducing Drew even harder. Determined to break through Drew’s chivalrous behavior, Annie leaned down and kissed her.
Drew wrapped both arms around her and pulled her closer.
For a moment, Annie’s nervousness faded away and she forgot about everything but Drew’s lips against hers. Then she became aware of a dozen people watching them from the patio of the restaurant. She blushed and gently disengaged herself from Drew. “Um, you can open your eyes now.”
Drew opened her eyes. “Ah, Moonstone Beach. I had a feeling that’s where we were going.” She smiled at Annie. “And by the way, you look beautiful.”
Annie slid her damp palms down the burgundy dress. It was Drew’s favorite. “Thanks. You look wonderful too.”
As always, Drew looked entirely comfortable in her own skin, even dressed up in dark gray slacks and a baby-blue blouse. The two top buttons were open, revealing Drew’s tanned skin. She carried a light jacket over her arm.
Annie wished she felt half as comfortable. The elegant dress and the semi-high heels were a far cry from her usual conservative business suits, and Annie always felt as if she were a girl playing grownup by dressing in her mother’s clothes. Worse, she had taken Jake’s advice—not about the mini-skirt and the stilettos, but she was wearing a thong beneath the dress. How did other women stand this? Constantly feeling that strip of fabric between her buttocks was driving her crazy.
Most tables were occupied, mostly by couples and young families.
The hostess seated them at the edge of the patio, with a direct view of the beach.
Annie had planned this since Christmas and had made sure to reserve the restaurant’s best table. Everything had to be perfect today.
The waiter stepped up to their table, introduced himself, and asked, “May I start you off with something to drink?”
“I arranged to bring our own wine,” Annie said.
Drew gazed at her. “You did?”
Annie nodded. She had paid the corkage fee and shipped the bottle ahead of time. “One of your Cabernets.”
“Ah, yes. My boss mentioned it,” the waiter said. “I’ll get your wine and give you a minute to look at the menu.” He walked away.
Drew reached across the table and took Annie’s hand.
With her free hand, Annie tugged at the back of her dress. Christ, who invented this goddamned thong?
“You know, that’s one of the things I love about you,” Drew said, gazing into Annie’s eyes. “To the people who don’t know you very well, you appear to be this down-to-earth numbers cruncher, but deep inside, you’re really a closet romantic. Thank you for going to all this trouble.” She turned Annie’s hand and kissed her palm.
Annie stopped tugging. “You’re definitely worth it.”
They opened their menus.
“Oh, look.” Drew pointed at the page with the appetizers. “They even have your favorite, sweet potato fries. Do you want to share them?”
Annie’s stomach felt like one big knot of nerves. She didn’t have much of an appetite, but she nodded anyway.
They ordered, and within ten minutes the waiter returned with the fries and two Caesar salads.
Annie picked up her fork and pierced a fry. Her hands trembled, though, and the fry dropped onto the patio. “Oh. I’m sorry. I’m such a klutz.”
“Yeah, but you’re my klutz.” Drew’s dimples made an appearance as she smiled. “And look. It’s not going to waste.”
A seagull swept down and gobbled up the fry.
Annie picked at her salad and squirmed on her chair, barely resisting the constant urge to tug at the thong.
Drew covered Annie’s hand with her own. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” Annie quickly put a forkful of salad into her mouth.
One dark eyebrow lifted. “Want to try that again?”
As a New Year’s resolution, Annie had promised herself and Drew that she would try to work on her tendency to pretend everything was okay and she could solve all her problems on her own. So far, she had done well when it came to relying on Drew for emotional support, but now she couldn’t tell her what was going on. At least not everything. “I’m all right. It’s just… I put on this new pair of panties, and now they’re driving me crazy.” She rubbed at her annoying blush with both hands. Let’s face it: A suave seductress I’m not.
Drew’s dark eyes glittered. “Want me to help you take them off later?”
Yes, Annie wanted to say, but her lips refused to form the word. If she told Drew what she wanted her to do later, she’d surely sound stupid, like a third-rate actress in a cheap porn movie. Helplessly, she peered at Drew.
“I’m sorry,” Drew said and looked away. “Now I made you uncomfortable.”
“No, no, you didn’t. Really.” Now it was Annie’s turn to reach across the table and take Drew’s hand. She caressed the calluses on Drew’s palm and fingers.
When Drew looked up, their gazes met and held. “You’d tell me if I did anything to make you uncomfortable, right?”
Pressing her lips together, Annie nodded. God, I’m really making a mess of things. Now she’ll be even more careful not to pressure me in any way. At the rate they were going, they’d finally have sex at their tenth anniversary. “Believe me, nothing you do could make me uncomfortable. It’s—”
The waiter interrupted her as he returned with their plates. He placed the grilled salmon they had ordered in front of Drew and the garden pasta primavera in front of Annie.
“Oh, that looks good,” Drew said.
Annie inhaled the scent of fresh herbs. It smelled delicious. On any other night, she would have dug in as if she were starving. “Want to try a little?”
When Drew nodded, Annie pierced a bit of the pasta on her fork and dipped it in the mushroom-and-cream sauce before she held the fork out to Drew.
Drew leaned forward and, looking straight into Annie’s eyes, closed her lips around the fork.
Annie swallowed as she watched Drew lick her lips. An image of those lips wandering down her neck, kissing circles around her breasts, then closing around her nipple flashed through her mind. The temperature on the patio seemed to jump up by a few degrees.
“Delicious,” Drew said.
Her voice, low and intimate, made Annie shiver.
Drew sent her a concerned gaze. “You’re not cold, are you?”
“Oh, no.” Quite the opposite. Her whole body felt as if she were running a fever. Annie’s throat was parched, but she forced herself to sip her wine slowly. She wanted to remember every second of this night, not experience it in a half-drunken haze.
The sun wandered toward the horizon as they finished their dinner.
Drew stood and switched seats so she could sit next to Annie while they watched the sunset.
Fo
r a few minutes, Annie forgot about her nervousness as the sky changed colors—from a baby-blue that matched Drew’s blouse to yellow, orange, and red, and then, finally, as the sun sank lower, to a purplish blue. The ocean mirrored each of the colors, looking as if it consisted of liquid bronze and gold. Clouds drifted across the sky, illuminated by the setting sun.
The soft light flickered across Drew’s face. She looked so calm and happy that Annie fell in love with her all over again.
Sipping her wine, Drew wrapped one arm around Annie’s shoulders.
Finally, something’s going right. Even Annie with her nervousness couldn’t ruin this majestic sunset. She leaned against Drew and redirected her gaze to the beach.
Time seemed to pass in slow motion as the sun sank lower and then disappeared below the horizon. The sky was still lit up in shades of orange, red, and purple. Then darkness started to fall until just a glimmer of light remained at the horizon.
Lamps went on in every corner of the patio.
Now that the sun had set, temperatures dropped. Annie shivered in her thin dress.
Drew wrapped her other arm around her too. “Do you want my jacket?”
Before Annie could answer, the hostess stepped onto the patio and stopped at each table to offer a blanket.
Drew wrapped the blanket around both their shoulders and covered their laps with the rest of the soft fabric.
Annie snuggled close beneath the blanket. Weeks ago, she would have hesitated to show her love so openly in public, but she had learned to ignore the occasional stare they got.
She inhaled the heady scent of Drew’s perfume. Drew’s closeness, her arm pressing against the side of Annie’s breast, made every cell in Annie’s body vibrate, part nervousness, part desire.
Not saying a word, they watched the waves lap at the rocks jutting into the ocean. Gray shapes littered the beach farther down, but in the almost darkness, Annie wasn’t sure if they were sea elephants or just driftwood.
“Look. I think those are elephant seals,” Drew said as if guessing Annie’s thoughts. She freed one hand from the blanket and pointed in the direction of the gray shapes.
