by Lucin, David
Gary and the others disappeared inside. Jenn realized Maria was trying to unbuckle her seat belt. She was speaking, too, but the words came through muffled and distant. “Here.” Jenn fumbled in search of the buckle. Her voice echoed in her ears. “I got it.” She eased herself out of the car. Maria helped her stand, so she forced a smile. “I’m okay. It’s fine.”
Maria asked about Sam’s Tesla. Her eyes were red, and her glasses were falling down her nose.
“We left it there,” Jenn lied. “It was too small for everybody.”
The driveway wobbled from side to side. Jenn imagined it was like being on a ship in rough seas. Maria’s hand was holding Jenn’s, and together, they went inside, where Nicole and Sam sat at the dining room table. Barbara and Kevin sat on the couch, Barbara’s head tucked under Kevin’s armpit. Beside the sink, Gary opened a drawer and took out a cloth, then darted over and dabbed it at Nicole’s face.
Jenn had imagined this. Something like this, anyway. In her dream, her father was in the kitchen, not Gary, and her brother Jason was watching the Diamondbacks game in the living room.
Her stomach twisted in on itself. Faces blurred as she reached for the wall to steady her balance.
Maria appeared in front of her. “Sweetie,” she said. Jenn understood her now, but the word still sounded as if Maria were in a tunnel. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah. Everything’s fine. How are you? Are you breathing all right? Is this smoke hurting? I hope your oxygen is working.”
Maria gave her a confused look. “Pardon me?”
“Your compressor,” Jenn repeated, hearing herself slurring now. When she went to continue speaking, she forgot what she’d planned to say.
“Let’s lie you down,” Maria said. She brought Jenn to her bedroom and made her sit on the bed. From Jenn’s holster she withdrew the gun, then laid it carefully on the nightstand.
Maria sat beside her, and the world came into focus again. Jenn rubbed her cheeks and felt tears.
“What happened?” Maria asked. She moved a strand of hair away from Jenn’s face. “You can tell me.”
Jenn opened her mouth to speak but stopped and buried the words. Maria had enough to worry about already with her oxygen and the smoke and now three strangers in her home. Her world had turned upside down. Hearing about Payson would only complicate things.
“It’s nothing,” Jenn lied. “I’m just tired. Long couple days. That’s all.”
Maria adjusted the hose around her ears, then put a warm hand on Jenn’s face. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell Gary.”
“The . . .” Jenn’s eyes wandered to the gun on the nightstand.
“Go ahead. I’m listening.”
The image of that man in the Yankees hat, who gurgled blood as he struggled for one last breath, flashed in her mind. So did his contorted grimace as he lay in the bushes beside the parking lot, lifeless and disposed of like rotten food.
“I shot him,” Jenn confessed. Her eyes fell to her hands. “He’s . . . He’s dead. I killed him.”
22
In her room, Jenn lay still on the bed. After hearing about Payson, Maria left her alone and returned to the others.
Ajax was snuggled up by her feet and snored away peacefully. Could he even tell that things were different now, that everything had changed? Jenn envied his ignorance.
At the golf course, she should have paid more attention to her surroundings. Those thugs had played her, just as those thieves on the highway had when they stole Sam’s car.
But she didn’t have to shoot him. They could have left as soon as the SUV had enough battery to drive home to Flagstaff. Sam wanted to fully charge it, and at the time, Jenn agreed. She should have fought him on that. No waiting around and no putting themselves at risk.
A warning shot. She could have fired at least one before shooting him in the chest. The moment the man with the knife grabbed Sam, she should have squeezed off a round to make her intentions clear. She should have held the gun with more conviction, too. She should have stood up straighter and stepped toward Yankees Hat, not away from him, and she should have aimed for a leg or shoulder first. If she had done those things, he might have taken her more seriously and might not have attacked her. He didn’t need to die.
She lay still as Sam recounted what happened in Payson, his voice faint but clear from the dining room.
“Then Jenn pulled the gun and . . .” He paused for a moment. Squeezing the sheets with both hands, she waited for him to say it—to tell everyone what she did. “And they ran off,” Sam finished. “Jenn scared them away.”
With clenched teeth, she braced herself for Nicole to recount the full story, but Barbara cut in. “She shouldn’t have frightened us!” It sounded like she was crying. “I was terrified when she came into the house with that gun. Then you and Kevin dragged me out to the—”
“Mom!” Sam interrupted. “It’s because of her that we didn’t lose Kevin’s car, too. Honestly, you should be thanking her.”
Jenn let the sheets go and crossed both hands over her stomach.
“She was driving too fast!” Barbara wailed. “On the highway. I told her to slow down.” Her voice became louder, as if she was walking down the hall. “Nobody was telling me what was going on and—” The sound of the door to Gary’s office slamming shut cut her off. She continued complaining, but the words were unclear now.
Sam slipped into Jenn’s room. “Hey,” he said and came inside.
“Hi.” Jenn swung her legs onto the floor.
“Can I sit with you for a bit?”
Jenn patted the bed. As he sat, she rested her head on his shoulder. His clothes stunk of body odor mixed with deodorant, but his skin was soft and warm. “I heard what you said in there. Thanks for not telling everyone.”
He put his arm around her. “From the looks of Maria, she knows, and Kevin knows there’s more to the story. My mom doesn’t need to hear it yet, but you’re going to have to tell Gary, and it should come from you, not Maria or anyone else.”
Jenn gulped. Gary would understand, right? He’d likely killed people, but he was a police officer. Cops—the good ones, anyway—only killed those who tried to kill them first. The man Jenn shot was unarmed and maybe drunk or high or both. Was he lucid and aware that Jenn could hurt him, that she’d pull the trigger if threatened?
Maybe.
“Jenn?” Sam stroked her hair. “Are you awake?”
“Yes.”
“I put my mom in Gary’s office. Kevin’s in there, too.”
“That’s good.”
His hand found hers. “Listen, about what happened in Payson, I want to make sure—”
The sound of gunfire echoed in Jenn’s ears. “Stop,” she said, squeezing his fingers so hard he flinched. “No. I . . . Not right now.”
Sam ran his fingernails along the base of her skull, just the way she liked. Tingles teased her neck and spine. “Okay,” he conceded. “When you’re ready, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” She closed her eyes and focused on Sam’s touch.
“Why don’t you come out for a while?” he asked after a minute. “Maria made cornbread last night. Maybe having a bite to eat will make you feel better.”
The thought of food caused Jenn’s stomach to rumble, but she wasn’t hungry. If she ate, she might wind up hugging the toilet again. “I’m okay. Thanks, though.”
“At least come talk to Gary.” Sam took his arm from around her shoulder. “He’s doing that pacing thing and is asking about you. I understand that you’re not ready, but he should know what happened.”
Jenn forced her eyes shut. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare. If she tried hard enough, maybe she could turn back the clock to Friday morning. With Gary and Maria, she could eat soy bacon and potatoes, then text her mother and visit Sam on campus. No EMP, no bombs, no Go Market, and no Payson. Given a choice, she’d take conscription over this.
“Come on.” Sam pulled her up. Ajax jumped down a
nd zipped over to the door.
In the living room, Nicole lay on the couch. Her head rested on a pillow, and a blanket covered her bottom half. Maria, seated at the table, shot up when she saw Jenn.
“I’m okay,” Jenn said, motioning for Maria to sit. Gary stood in the kitchen. “I need some fresh air. Well, it’s not really fresh, right?” Nobody laughed, so she cleared her throat. “Gary, want to go check on Erin?”
“Sure thing.” He led her to the door, and they stepped outside.
The smoke wasn’t as thick here as it was in Payson, but it had worsened since they left yesterday morning. Jenn could hardly see to the end of the street.
She and Gary walked for a few minutes, their footfalls the only sound in the haze. A chill ran through her, and she crossed her arms.
“Sorry,” Gary said. “It’s a little cold.”
“So it’s not just me, then?”
He put his hands in his pockets. “No. It’s because of the smoke.”
“Hopefully Maria’s okay.”
“She will be.”
As they passed Kate’s house, Jenn recalled their walk down this road on the day of the bombs. Her mind registered the memory as if it were a movie she’d watched but hadn’t paid enough attention to. Friday felt like a lifetime ago. In a way, it was.
“Listen, Gary.” Jenn came to a stop by the curb. “In Payson—”
Gary rested a hand on her shoulder. “Maria brought me the gun, and I counted the rounds in the magazine.”
Eyes fixed on the pavement, she could feel him looking at her.
“Hey.” He touched her chin. His face was serious, his gaze unwavering. “You did what you had to do.”
Her guts lurched. When she opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out.
“After a while, it gets easier. In time. I’m not going to lie and say that it’ll be soon. But after a while, you’ll understand that you did the right thing.”
Fighting to stay strong in front of Gary, she blinked hard. The mask began to slip, though, so she turned and continued toward Liam’s.
He held out his arm. “I’m proud of you, Jenn. You protected Sam and Nicole and his family. You should be proud, too.” He pulled her in, and she squeezed tight.
The crunch of tires on the pavement caught her ear. Across the street, a Flagstaff police car came to a stop. The window rolled down, and Liam leaned out. Stubble coated his cheeks. Even through the smoke, Jenn noticed the dark bags under his eyes. “Hey, guys,” he said. “You holding up okay?”
The sight of a police officer made Jenn want to run. Was Liam at the Go Market on Saturday morning? Did he find that security guard on the floor? Did it matter if he did? Jenn had killed a man since then. It was self-defense, sure, but Liam was a cop; he might be able to sense what she had done. Gary could.
Gary smiled at Jenn. “Yeah, I think we’re doing all right.”
“Erin mentioned you’ve been stopping by once or twice a day. Thanks for that.”
“Of course,” Gary said. “We were just on our way there now, actually.”
“So am I.” Liam rested his elbow on the open window and grinned. “So you sold your car to Carla, huh, for an oxygen compressor and batteries?”
“She drives a hard bargain.”
Liam rapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “Indeed. Luckily, I have some good news about that.”
Gary looped his thumbs onto his belt. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ll turn around and meet at your place.”
* * *
“That was quick!” Maria said from the kitchen. “You guys see Erin already?”
Gary dropped his keys into the bowl beside the door. “No, we ran into Liam on the way over. He’s going to stop by. He says he has some news.”
Kevin came into the dining room and pushed his glasses up with a knuckle. “We appreciate you putting us up for the night. I hope we’re not imposing.”
“Not at all,” Gary said. “Happy to have you here safe and sound.”
Maria pulled out a chair at the table. “Here, let’s have something to eat.” Kevin sat, and Maria leaned in closer to him. “Do you think Nicole will want anything?” she whispered.
Nicole remained on the couch. Her eyes were shut, but Jenn doubted she was sleeping. More likely in shock. She hadn’t said a word since the golf course. Jenn wanted to help but understood how Nicole felt. Forcing her to talk about what happened and to relive the experience before she was ready could make things worse.
“She’ll be okay for now,” Kevin said. “But thank you.”
“Sam.” Maria pointed to a cupboard. “Plates are in there. Forks and knives are in the drawer below it.”
Dutifully, Sam pulled out five plates and five sets of cutlery, then laid them atop the placemats on the table.
A knock came from the door, and Gary rushed over to answer it.
“Liam!” Maria shouted across the room. “Have a seat. You’re welcome to join us for lunch.” She nodded to Sam, who acknowledged her with a thumbs-up and fetched another plate from the cupboard.
“Thanks,” Liam said. His limp looked worse today. Halfway between the front door and the table, he paused and eyed Nicole on the couch. Then he noticed Kevin.
“We have some guests,” Gary said. “Sam’s family. Up from Payson.”
Liam hummed his acknowledgment. “Payson? You folks drive up?”
Goosebumps broke out on Jenn’s arms.
“That’s right.” Kevin offered Jenn a knowing look. “Silly me, I always forget to plug the car in. Worked in my favor for once, I guess. I’m Kevin, by the way. Sam’s stepdad.”
“Liam. Flagstaff PD.” His eyes wandered to Nicole again, but Gary led him to the table, where he sat next to Kevin and extended his prosthetic leg.
Maria brought in a platter of cornbread. “Sorry, it’s better warm. But beggars can’t be choosers, right?”
Gary helped himself to a piece and took a bite. “Delicious, dear,” he said through a mouthful.
“Save some for everyone else,” Maria warned, then addressed Liam. “Please, you’re probably famished.”
Liam obliged. “Thanks. Looks great.”
Maria pulled out a chair for Sam, who sat and found a piece of cornbread. Jenn took the spot beside him and faced Kevin and Liam. “So what’s this good news Gary tells me about?” Maria asked.
Shifting his leg, Liam swallowed. “The station. We have working solar there, so we can charge the batteries for your compressor. You could bring them to the hospital, but it’s still a zoo. When you need a battery charged, you let me know and I’ll take care of it. In a couple of days, I’ll probably have my own solar up and running. Then just drop them off at my place and Erin will juice them up for you.”
“That’s wonderful!”
Behind Kevin, Gary waved his cornbread at Maria’s compressor. “I think we should keep a few here and then give the rest over to the hospital. They’ll need them there.”
“Good idea,” Maria said. Ajax meowed at her feet, and she reached down to pick him up. “We just have to find Ajax some more food. He’s on his last bag.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem.” Liam took a bite of his cornbread. “We saved one of the Go Markets. The one by NAU got picked clean. What a nightmare.”
Jenn broke into a sweat.
“Anyway,” Liam continued. “We’re going to start rationing food as soon as we can. There’s not much left to go around, but nobody’s eating cat kibbles yet. Not as far as I know, anyway.”
Gary spoke next. “What about water? The taps went dry last night.”
Liam snapped his fingers. “Right. We’re handing out rations tomorrow at the station. Noon. We’ll be making announcements, but spread the word, just in case. The Lake Mary reservoirs are mostly full and techs are working on rigging up solar to get the pump to the treatment plant online. Couple more weeks and they’ll have the groundwater wells running again. After that, they’ll start working on the water recycling systems. Migh
t be a while before we’re showering and running dishwashers, but in terms of drinking water, we’ll set for now.”
“That’s good news,” Gary said. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”
“You’re going to wish you hadn’t told me that, Gary. I’ll probably have a job for you later this afternoon.”
Gary rubbed his hands together. “I look forward to it.” He nodded to Jenn and Sam. “All of us are ready to help out. Right?”
“Sure thing, Mr. Ruiz,” Sam answered for the table. “However we can.”
“Good to hear.” Liam popped the rest of the cornbread into his mouth, then asked Kevin, “Where are you folks staying?”
Kevin slipped a finger beneath his glasses and rubbed his eye. “I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“We’ll find you a place.” Gary reached for his second piece of cornbread. Apparently, he’d forgotten Maria’s warning. “Any objections to us opening up one of the closed properties on our street, Liam?”
“None from me. The Goodwill store might give you guys some furniture. It’ll probably take some of this cornbread to persuade anyone to let you have it, and don’t count on me to help you get it down here. You could always hire a horse and buggy.”
That got a guttural laugh out of Gary. Everyone else smiled politely.
“So, things are looking okay?” Maria said. She rested her hands on Jenn’s shoulders. “Any news from outside of town?”
“A scouting party left first thing this morning.” Liam brushed his hands clean on his pants. “Three people and a truck went to check out Prescott and then drive south toward the city. Hopefully they come across a FEMA camp or something and can find out how bad the fires are.”
Maria stirred behind Jenn. They might have solved the issue of her compressor and the batteries, but the smoke would continue to make breathing difficult.
“I’ll see if I can’t track down some masks to help with the smoke,” Liam said, seeming to read Jenn’s mind. “Carla probably has some, if she’s willing to sell. But yes, things are looking okay for now.” He pushed himself up from his seat with a drawn-out groan. “Which means I get to spend the night with my family and finally get some sleep.”
