Lily plummeted from elation to devastation in seconds when she realized that the letter might not hold good news. If Daisy was coming home as soon as she’d said, then why was she writing at all? Did the letter hold news that Daisy and Bruno had decided to stay in Ohio?
While the letter was still clutched in her hand, her mother walked out of the kitchen and looked her up and down. Her mother’s smile turned into a frown as she looked at Lily standing with the letter clutched to herself.
“Oh, you found that letter? It came today.”
“Is this going to be bad news, Mamm? Did she send a letter to you as well?”
“Nee, she didn’t.”
She held the letter up to the light. “I hope this doesn’t mean she’s going to stay there longer.”
“How long are you going to wait to see what it says? Open it up.”
“I’m terrified of what information the letter holds.”
“Oh, Lily, why do you always think everything is going to be bad?” Her mother’s green eyes fixed onto her, making Lily feel foolish.
“Lately, everything is, that’s why. I never used to have to think like that. Now it just saves more disappointment if I expect the worst.”
“You’re being silly. Go on. Open it!”
Lily took off her black shawl and hung it on the peg by the door. Then, with shoulders drooped, she headed to the couch and flopped down onto it. She didn’t know what she would do if her twin had written to tell her she wasn’t coming home. There was a strong possibility that Daisy might be staying in Ohio with the rest of Bruno’s family. It seemed that Bruno’s only family member who did not live in Ohio was Valerie. Valerie had resisted all attempts by Bruno to make her go back there with him, but what if all his talk had worked on Daisy?
She stared at the letter. When she finally ripped it open, she was further upset to see that the letter was only one page, and not only that, Daisy had only written on half of that one page.
She ran her eyes along every carefully written line. Daisy explained that she was staying on a little longer with Bruno while he sorted out things in regard to his horse business. Daisy had suggested that Lily come there to visit. There wasn’t much else in Daisy’s letter—nothing to allay Lily’s fears about losing Daisy to Ohio forever. Now, she was surer than ever that Bruno was deliberately delaying her coming back to Lancaster County. Why would Daisy suggest she visit unless she was going to be there for a long time? Maybe she’d never see Daisy again.
Her patient mother finally leaned forward. “Well, what did she say?”
Lily passed the letter over. “There’s not much to it.”
Her mother read the letter and then handed it back. “She said she’s coming home as soon as Bruno tends to a few things. That was good of her to let us know.”
“Can we trust him, though, Mamm?”
Her mother laughed, but it wasn’t a real laugh. It was more of a nervous cackle. “Do you think Bruno has some devious plan to steal Daisy away from us?”
“It happens. Anyway, she might think she doesn’t need us now that she’s got Bruno. She certainly stopped talking to me as much when Bruno came along. We were so close and then she dumped me for a man. I would’ve never done that to her. Things will never be the same. She’s got Bruno, but I’ve got no one now.”
“You’ve still got Daisy. You’ll always have her.”
Lily pushed out her bottom lip.
“You’ve got your vadder and me.”
Staring at her mother, Lily wondered what to say to that. It wasn’t the same. She couldn’t talk to them as she’d talked to Daisy. It wasn’t so much the talking; it was the laughing and the fun they’d had together and the pranks they’d played. “Denke, Mamm.”
“Cheer up.”
Lily nodded, wondering if Daisy missed her at all.
“What you need is to get married. When you find your own husband, you won’t miss Daisy so much.”
Her mother thought everyone needed to get married and the sooner, the better. She didn’t understand her at all. Losing Daisy was traumatic and only someone who was a twin could understand. There was no fix for what she felt, no Band-Aid that could be placed across her emptiness. Only having Daisy back would fix things, but that was never going to happen. “I’d rather have Daisy back. The old Daisy, not the person she turned into when she met Bruno.” She shook her head in disgust. “He’s got a lot to answer for.”
“Bruno is a lovely man and he’s done nothing wrong.”
Lily nodded again. The best way to keep her mother quiet was to pretend that she agreed with her. “You’re right, Mamm. I’m sorry.”
“Now go and wash up and then you can help me with dinner.”
When her mother hurried back to the kitchen, Lily trudged up the stairs with Daisy’s letter in her hand. She closed her bedroom door, and then slumped down on her bed to read the letter over again, more carefully this time. After reading it the second time, she felt no better. She bounded to her feet and ripped the letter into small pieces. So her mother wouldn’t know what she’d done, she shoved the pieces into the top drawer of her chest of drawers. Sometimes her mother came into her room with clean folded clothes, but she’d always place them on top of her bed. She’d never have reason to look in her drawers.
Once she’d closed the drawer with force, she muttered, “That’s what I think of you, Daisy Yoder.” She headed back downstairs to wash up while she told herself she’d never change when she fell in love—and if she did, it would be a change for the better.
Stepping into the kitchen, she saw Willow and Violet helping her mother scrape the peelings from the vegetables. It was as though her cousins had replaced herself and Daisy. At least they were doing some of the chores that she might have had to do.
After she’d slumped into a chair at the kitchen table, her mother stared at her. “Have you washed your hands?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, go on.”
“I just got home. Can I have a minute to rest?”
Willow and Violet giggled at Lily while she stared at the flowers from Elijah. The flowers had opened further and were more beautiful than when she’d brought them home. She leaned over and breathed in their sweet, fresh perfume. Elijah had been about to ask her something at the ice-skating right before Willow had the accident. Would she ever find out what it was? Or had the moment passed forever? She sat back heavily in the chair, trying her hardest not to be mad at Willow.
“How are you feeling, Willow?” Lily asked.
“I’m better now, denke.”
“That’s good.” Lily looked up at her mother, who was glaring at her. “Okay, I’m going. I thought you would’ve given me a free pass from chores tonight.”
“I never get a pass. Everyone has to eat. You’ll find that out when you become a mudder yourself. Then you’ll know how hard it is to run a household. Not that I’m complaining. It’s just that you just don’t know how much it takes.”
As Lily walked out of the room to wash her hands, her mother called after her, “We need your help. The sooner we get the dinner cooked, the sooner we can all eat.”
“And the sooner I can go to bed and get some peace,” Lily called back, risking her mother’s temper.
The cousins giggled at her again.
Chapter 13
The next day, Lily was engrossed in a conversation with Matthew about his new venture when she looked over her shoulder and saw Elijah heading toward them.
Matthew turned around when he saw Lily looking at something. “Here’s Elijah again. He hasn’t come here to see me.” Matthew backed away and headed back to his stall.
“Hello, Elijah.”
“I’m between jobs at the moment. I’ve had one across town and I’ve got one close by and I’m due to be there in fifteen minutes—I have to be quick. I just came to ask you if you’d have dinner with me tonight?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw that Matthew was far enough away that he wouldn’t be
able to hear what was being said. “Jah, I’d like that.”
His eyes glistened. “Shall I come by your house at six thirty?”
“That sounds good.”
“See you then.” After he flashed her a smile, he hurried away.
“Again, he ignored me,” Matthew called out to Lily when Elijah had gone.
Lily looked over at Matthew and laughed. Her whole world lit up when Elijah was around. She kept to herself what Elijah had asked her. It was no one’s business but their own.
* * *
When Lily got home, her mother and the cousins were sitting at the kitchen table peeling the vegetables for the evening meal.
“I won’t be having dinner here tonight, Mamm.”
“Oh? Where will you be having it?”
“I’m going out with Elijah tonight.”
The cousins just looked at each other as though it was news to them that she liked Elijah.
“How is your shoulder today, Willow, still good?”
“It’s much better. Your mother has been putting her special balm on it and it’s helped a lot.”
“That’s good. I’m glad to hear that stuff actually works. If it had been me, I would’ve gotten something from the pharmacy.”
Lily’s mother picked up a peeling knife and shook it at Lily. “It does the same thing, Lily. You’ll be paying a lot of money at the pharmacy for something, and what’s the point in that?”
Violet added, “Jah, and why pay money for something we can make at home?”
“You’ll make someone a gut fraa someday, Violet.”
Violet smiled at Nancy’s words.
“Violet already has more sense than you, Lily,” her mother said.
Lily’s jaw dropped open. “I was just making a comment. I didn’t wanna have an argument about it.” Lily turned on her heel and walked out of the room.
She had no time to be upset over her mother’s words. She had to get ready for tonight. Besides, she doubted her mother meant what she said. She was most likely trying to make Violet feel good about herself.
Wondering what to wear for her date, Lily felt her heart pound against her chest. She had to look her best. Would he propose? Was it too early for that? It would be nice to be married close in time to Daisy and then our kinner might be the same age. To Lily, that slightly made up for the fact that they hadn’t married brothers as they’d planned.
Lily made sure she was ready and waiting when Elijah arrived on the dot of six thirty. She hurried out to meet him, not wanting the awkwardness and embarrassment of him coming into the house and saying hello to everybody. The cousins would most likely gawk at him or giggle.
“Hello, Lily. Are you ready to go?”
“I am.” She climbed into the buggy and sat beside him. They set off. Giving him a sideways glance, she noticed that he’d also taken some care to dress well and with the faintest aroma of lavender in the air, she knew he’d freshly showered using lavender soap.
Elijah was the first to speak when they left the long driveway and turned onto the road. “I’ve been meaning to talk with you for some time, but it’s hard with so many people constantly around you. Even at the market you’ve got people coming and going, and also Matthew at the next stall who can probably hear everything we say.”
“I know it’s hard to talk privately. I never get a moment to myself at home either now with the cousins there.”
Elijah continued, “I figured the only way we could have a real talk is if I took you for dinner somewhere.”
“I’m always ready to eat.” Lily gave a little giggle and wondered if she should’ve said something about the company rather than eating.
“I’m taking you to an old Amish farmhouse that’s been converted into a restaurant. I’ve heard good things, but I’ve never been there before.”
“Does it have Amish food?”
“Jah, supposedly traditional Amish food.”
“I’ll have to see if it’s as nice as Mamm’s cooking.”
* * *
When they walked into the restaurant, the first thing Lily noticed was the color of the walls. She’d never seen red walls, but they worked so well with the rustic light-colored wooden floors and the Amish farmyard murals. To one side of the room were three long counters where people were helping themselves to the smorgasbord. Three rows of pendant lights hung above the food counters while the lighting in the rest of the room was more subdued. A waiter showed them to their seats at one of the three rows of rustic wooden tables.
Lily had thought Elijah would take her somewhere a little more intimate since he’d made that speech about wanting to speak with her in private.
Once they sat, they looked at each other.
“Well, we best go and get some food,” he said.
She agreed, and then they took a dinner plate each and walked down each counter, every now and then taking whatever took their fancy. There were red beets, chicken, ham loaf, chow chow, whipped potatoes, and several different kinds of roast vegetables, as well as plenty of fresh bread, whipped butter, and gravy.
Before Lily sat down again, she cast her eyes over the desserts and hoped she’d still have room. There were pies of all kinds, shoo fly pies, and ice-cream and cream.
“A lot of this is traditional food I haven’t seen for some time.”
“Me too,” he said as they sat down.
After they’d eaten a few mouthfuls, Elijah said, “I suppose I should get right down to the point of why I asked you here.” He put his knife and fork down and placed his elbows on the table. “It’s a hard thing to say.”
“The best way to do it is to say it quickly.”
“That’s one of the things I like about you, Lily. You’re so forthright.”
“Isn’t it the best way to be?”
“It is. I want to be straightforward with you because you’ve always been that way with me. With you, it’s what you see is what you get. There’s nothing hidden.”
She was pleased he liked the way that she was because many people didn’t; she was certain of that. Noticing he wasn’t smiling, she no longer thought he’d brought her there to propose. Or was he simply working up the nerve to ask if they could be boyfriend and girlfriend? Surely he knew she’d be happy about that. Why was he looking so sad?
Finally, she said, “You don’t have to tell me right away. I can wait. We haven’t even finished dinner yet.”
“It’s something … it’s hard for me to say.”
“Just say it.”
He nodded and then looked into her eyes. “The thing, Lily …” He stopped, and then started again. “You see, the thing is that we’ve been kind of growing closer over the past few months and you’ve become very important to me. You’re someone I like to be around very much. And I’ve come to think that you feel the same way about me.”
She nodded. “I do. I feel that way, too.”
“There’s something you don’t know about me.”
A knot formed in Lily’s stomach. What could it possibly be?
Chapter 14
Lily swallowed hard. Hearing Elijah tell her from his own lips that there was something she didn’t know about him filled her with fear. She placed her knife and fork down because she could feel her hands trembling. “What don’t I know?” Her heart pumped hard and she could feel the vibration of her heart thumping in her head.
“Many years ago, I pledged my word that I would marry a girl from a community in Lowville. My parents knew her family very well, and that’s where we lived before we came here after my mother died.”
Lily sat frozen to her chair, wondering if she was having a bad dream. Now his hesitance in getting to know her better made sense. It had annoyed her, at the beginning of getting to know him, that he didn’t pay her as much attention as the other young men did. “Are you joking?”
“I’m serious. I planned to move there within a year.”
“What, to marry this girl simply because her parents once knew your parents or somet
hing?”
“It’s not the way you said.” He shook his head. “I didn’t explain it well.”
Lily breathed out heavily and folded her arms tightly against her chest.
When he looked up at her, he continued, “The thing is, how it all came about doesn’t matter so much. I’ve given my word that I’ll marry her. She knows it, and her whole family knows it and so does mine.”
“How long ago did you give your word?”
“Quite a while ago.”
Lily shook her head, barely able to take it all in. “Do you want to marry her?”
“I don’t. Not now I don’t. Not now that I’ve met you.”
“They can’t make you do it.”
“No one is making me. I can’t go back on my word. I didn’t know that you’d come along. Patricia and I have kept in touch and she wants this to go ahead.”
“And you haven’t met with her recently?”
He shook his head. “I just wanted to tell you how things were before things get too difficult. After I met you, I regretted my decision, but as a man of Gott, I can’t go back on my word. That would be lying and letting people down.”
Now Lily was the one staring down at the table. What about letting her down? “Why did you buy me the flowers and say all those things to me?”
“I shouldn’t have let my feelings carry me away. It was wrong of me to carry on our friendship.”
Elijah was the only man she could see herself married to and now he’d swiftly pulled the rug out from underneath her. She studied his face and saw how troubled he was. She respected that he couldn’t go back on his word and he wouldn’t be Elijah if he didn’t do what he believed to be right. One of the things she liked about him was his goodness. “When do you leave for Lowville?”
“There’s no exact timeframe for me to go. I figured on helping my vadder in his business for another few months before I head off.”
Lily heaved out a sigh. Things had never worked out for her and now she knew she wasn’t going to find the right man and have a happy marriage just as her sisters had.
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