* * *
Pacing up and down along the front of her flower stall, Lily wished she had asked Valerie approximately what time she would be coming. It was now two in the afternoon. Perhaps she’s forgotten all about it, Lily thought.
She was immediately relieved when she saw Valerie hurrying toward her. She glanced over at Matthew to see that he was busy serving customers and would not hear what was being said. Just in case, she walked to the farthest edge of the stall away from Matthew and waited for Valerie.
“What did you find out?” Lily asked when Valerie finally reached her. From the look on Valerie’s face, she knew the news wasn’t going to be good.
“It’s exactly what you told me. It was an arrangement made some time ago.”
The air temporarily left Lily’s lungs. “But surely no one could make him do that—marry that woman he hardly knows. He told me himself he’s not in love with her. And he told me he regrets agreeing to the whole thing.”
Valerie reached out and placed a comforting hand on Lily’s arm. “No one is aware that he wants to get out of it.”
“He did say it wouldn’t be right to go back on his word.” Lily bit her lip.
“You have to forget about him, Lily, or you’ll drive yourself crazy. You already look a mess.”
“There are some who say I’m already crazy, so it doesn’t matter much.” Lily looked down at her crumpled dress. It was the same dress she’d been wearing the day before. She hadn’t even hung it up. It had been in a bundle on the floor all night. Not caring about how she looked, she’d just pulled it on that morning.
“Why don’t you come to my place for dinner tonight?”
Lily was relieved at the thought. “That would be good. I don’t really want to go home and face everyone. My cousins will ask me so many questions. I just know they will. I’ve been avoiding them ever since I came home early from my dinner with Elijah.”
“I’ll have dinner ready and then we can relax and talk.”
“You’re a good friend, Valerie.”
Valerie put her hand to her mouth and gave a little giggle, just as her mother had given a giggle when she’d told her she’d been a good mother.
There had to be some kind of a reason that this was all happening to her. And she was going to start being a better person right now. “What can I bring for dinner? Would you like me to bring a cake for dessert?”
“I have so much food at home. Just bring yourself.”
As soon as Valerie left, Matthew walked over to her. “You two seemed to be having an in-depth conversation.”
“She invited me to dinner tonight.”
Matthew’s eyes opened wider. “It looked a little more serious than that.”
“To some people, dinner is a serious subject.”
“But not to you. It never has been. You don’t care so much about food.”
Lily smiled, pleased that Matthew had taken the time to notice things about her. It made her feel better about herself that he liked her, even if Elijah didn’t like her enough to change his plans. Elijah had chosen to upset her rather than upset the woman he barely knew.
* * *
Lily hadn’t seen Elijah for a week, but she still couldn’t get him out of her head. She had made herself busy with the project of sewing clothes for Tulip’s boppli and then visiting Rose in between times.
Valerie had given Lily hope when she told her that God had a way of making things work out in miraculous ways. Lily clung onto that hope. She prayed every night that God might allow her another chance with Elijah. She decided the best course of action was to put her faith to work. If she made Elijah understand how she truly felt then he would marry her instead of that other woman. If he didn’t, then it was possible that history would repeat itself and she’d become like Valerie and marry someone else while pining after the one man that she’d wanted.
Lily had never asked Valerie about Ed, but Lily had to wonder how hard Valerie had tried to persuade Ed not to marry someone else, or whether she’d been given any warning at all that he was going to marry another. One day, she’d find out the true story about Valerie and Ed, but today was the day to stop Elijah from thinking he couldn’t go back on his word.
Lily prayed while she hitched the buggy and all the way to the Bontrager house, that all would go well when she was face-to-face with Elijah.
With a deep breath and one final prayer, she knocked on the front door. When it swung open, it was Elijah’s brother, Jacob, who stood there. He looked similar to Elijah, but he was quieter.
She smiled, not wanting to let on how important this visit was to her. “Hi, Jacob. Is Elijah home yet?”
“Elijah’s gone already.”
Lily ran through her mind if there were any community events on that night and couldn’t think of a single one. “Where has he gone?”
“He left yesterday for Lowville. He’s got some girl up there.”
Chapter 17
Lily’s mouth fell open and she couldn’t hide her horror at what Jacob had just said. Forcing her mouth closed, she stared at him. “I see.” She was too late! Either God had other plans for her, or He’d blocked His ears from her prayers. “I’ll go, then.” She turned briskly and, thinking the stairs were wider than they were, she stumbled down the two steps before managing to grasp the railing to steady herself.
Jacob stepped forward. “Are you okay, Lily?”
She swung to face him. “Fine! I’ll see you ’round.” Before she reached her buggy, she glanced over her shoulder at Jacob, who was still staring at her from the doorway. Feeling like a fool, she gave him a little wave before she jumped in the buggy.
Valerie, her new confidant, was the only person who would understand how she felt. She couldn’t share this with her mother, and because she’d had a twin and two other sisters close in age, she had few close friends.
When she got to Valerie’s house, she saw that she had visitors. She was sure it was Ed’s buggy. Ed had a black horse with one white sock on one of his front legs. There couldn’t be two horses the same as that in the community.
It seemed like Valerie’s luck might finally be turning around, but what about Lily’s? She had no choice but to keep traveling toward home. Then another thought occurred to her. She could talk to Rose and discuss things with her.
Lily was grateful when she stopped her buggy in front of Rose’s house and there were no other buggies outside. That meant she had no visitors.
She opened the door just slightly. “Rose.”
“Come up.”
Lily closed the door behind her and hurried to Rose’s bedroom. Rose was on the bed breastfeeding the baby. “Where’s Mark?”
“He’s just gone out to get a few things.”
“Good. I wanted to talk to you alone.”
“Anything wrong?”
Lily told her everything, leaving nothing out. “So, what’s your advice?”
“That’s hard.”
“I know. That’s why I need your advice. What would you do?”
“Nothing. Gott is watching over you and He’ll find you the right man.”
“So, you’re saying Elijah isn’t the right one.”
“If he marries someone else he can’t be.”
Lily sighed. “I hate being in this situation.” And what she hated more was that she couldn’t talk to Daisy about it. Daisy and she would be able to figure the whole thing out. She didn’t like Rose’s idea of doing nothing. That seemed like madness. “Can I have a hold?” Lily asked when Rose finished feeding the baby.
“Jah, hold her upright so she’ll burp.”
Lily carefully took the baby from her sister and held her upright, and when Sarah gave a large burp, Lily giggled. “I want to have a little boppli like this one day.”
“You will.”
“I dunno.”
“Jah, trust me.”
“I have to find someone to marry.”
“You’ve got so many young men interested in you.”
“The one I want is off somewhere with someone else.”
Rose said, “Pray about it.”
Rose was quickly getting on Lily’s nerves. Did Rose think she hadn’t prayed about it already? Lily only stayed a few minutes longer.
* * *
The weeks passed and Lily had heard nothing of a marriage between Elijah and a woman from the community in Lowville. Neither had he thought to even write her a letter telling her he had to leave sooner than he’d first told her.
Each day, Lily had the same routine and while performing her chores, working at the flower stall and attending the community events, all she could think about was Elijah Bontrager. It hit her out of the blue one day that she hadn’t heard about his marriage because he’d asked his family to keep quiet about it. He would’ve known she’d be upset about it and he was trying to save her from pain. Elijah was thoughtful like that.
In a further effort to put him out of her mind, she decided that she’d go out with the next man who asked her out, regardless of who that man was or what she thought about him.
* * *
It was a Tuesday afternoon after closing when Matthew and Lily were packing up their stalls that Matthew asked her if he could drive her home from the volleyball game that night.
“I don’t know if that will work because I’ll have to take the cousins home after the game.”
“Why don’t I bring you and the cousins to the volleyball game? Then I’ll drop the cousins back home when it’s finished, after which, you and I can go on a buggy ride. How does that sound?”
It wasn’t ideal. Everyone would know she was going on a buggy ride with him. Her mother and father would know, and the cousins, Violet and Willow, would know as well. She had to say yes, since she remembered that she’d told herself she’d go on a date with the next man who asked. It was probably just as well that it was Matthew rather than someone totally unsuitable. Otherwise, she’d sit at home alone thinking about Elijah while he was creating a new life with another woman.
“Okay, Matthew, that sounds good.”
“I’ll collect you all at six thirty.”
“We’ll be ready.”
Lily already felt a little better. Perhaps this is just what she needed—some male attention to make her forget Elijah.
* * *
Nancy noticed that Lily looked a little brighter as soon as she breezed into the kitchen. “Have you had a good day?”
“Jah. It was okay. Matthew is taking us to the volleyball game and then after we bring the cousins back here, I’m going on a buggy ride with him.”
Nancy noticed that Lily seemed a little embarrassed to tell her the plans. “That’s wonderful news.”
“It’s nothing to make a fuss over. It’s not as though we’re getting married or anything like that. It’s just a plain old buggy ride.”
“I know that, but I haven’t seen you look this happy for some time. I’m just pleased about it, that’s all. I’m not planning the wedding already.” Nancy chuckled while in her head she tried to stop herself doing just that.
“Well, I’m glad that me being happy is making you so pleased, Mamm.”
Nancy didn’t know what it was with Lily, but there was some kind of disconnect between them and she never knew whether Lily was being sarcastic or not.
“Did you say someone was taking us to the volleyball game?” Violet asked as she and Willow walked into the kitchen.
Lily answered, “Jah, Matthew Schumacher.”
“Are you in love with him?” Willow asked with a big smile on her chubby face.
Violet dug her sister in the ribs. “Lily doesn’t like you talking about things like that.”
“That’s right. Someone might get the wrong idea,” Lily said, frowning at Willow.
“But you are going on a buggy ride with him, right, Lily?”
“I am. But that doesn’t mean I’m in love with him. That means I’m getting to know him a little better.”
Willow sucked her cheeks in while she thought about that for a moment. “But you already know him,” said Willow.
“How about you two girls help me with the vegetables while Lily goes upstairs to get ready?”
Lily glanced over at her mother and smiled before she headed upstairs.
* * *
Just as Lily had closed her door, her mother burst in without knocking.
Glaring at her mother, she had her mouth open to speak when Nancy cut across her. “You really should give Matthew a chance.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know you’re going out with him later tonight, but I also know you’ve still got your heart set on Elijah. You should know that your vadder’s heard some things about Elijah. It’s right that he is getting married to a woman in Lowville.”
“Mamm, that was never in doubt.”
“You were hoping he’d change his mind.”
“He hasn’t, so I’m going out with Matthew just like you wanted.”
“I want you to see Matthew for the good person he is without thinking constantly about Elijah.”
“I’m trying to do that. It’s not easy, but you should be pleased that I’m trying.”
“It’s not about me, it’s about you.”
“What would happen if I never married?”
Her mother gasped and covered her mouth. “You can’t think like that.”
“Would it be so bad?”
“You’re only thinking that because of Elijah. I’m guessing you would’ve married him and you’re only lonely now because Daisy has gone.”
Lily slumped down onto her bed. “I can’t help the way I feel. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll leave you alone to have a think about things.”
Her mother said she was going to leave, but before she did, she kept droning on about how wonderful Matthew was and how good it would be if Lily married him because he was already her brother-in-law anyway. Lily was tempted to ask why it was so good to marry one’s brother-in-law, but that would’ve kept her mother there longer.
“I’ll give him a chance, Mamm.”
Her mother smiled. “You will?”
Lily nodded. “But that doesn’t mean we’re going to get married. I’m going on one buggy ride with him and then we’ll see what happens.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
“I’m glad. Now, can I get ready please?”
Her mother, still smiling, stepped out of her room and closed the door.
Lily threw herself back heavily onto the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she wondered what was to become of her. Daisy was gone and now life was hard instead of fun. She no longer wanted to stay in that house without her twin and getting married seemed the quickest way for her to be able to leave. Since she’d started her job she’d been saving as much as she could, but she figured it would take about ten years before she could get enough money for a deposit on a home of her own.
“I’m trapped and the only way out is marriage,” she mumbled aloud.
Closing her eyes, she imagined what it would be like to be a married woman. She would be in charge of herself and wouldn’t have to listen to anyone. That is if she married a man she could wrap around her little finger—a man such as Matthew. It would be good to have her own home and she would open the windows and the curtains. She wouldn’t have it all closed up and dark like her mother’s home. It would be full of joy and sunshine. She would have a beautiful, shiny black buggy horse like Ed Bontrager’s, and she would call the horse Midnight. Her garden would be full of herbs and flowers and she’d keep fruit trees. Her husband would be tall and handsome and tell her how wonderful she was all the time and he’d compliment her cooking. The idea that she and Daisy had often talked about—having twins—still pleased her and that way she could have more children faster.
Lily felt better after visualizing her perfect life, but now it was back to reality. And the reality was that tonight she would do what her mother said and give Matthew a chance.
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Chapter 18
Later that night, Matthew was right on time when he collected Lily and the cousins. Violet and Willow hurried to the buggy first and got in the back and then Lily climbed into the seat next to Matthew.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked with a big smile on his face.
“Jah, you may leave now,” one of the cousins said from the back with a giggle.
Lily made a good effort to keep Elijah out of her mind so she could concentrate on Matthew.
When they reached the park where the games were being held, the cousins jumped out of the buggy before it had come to a complete stop, and ran to meet their friends.
Matthew laughed. “They remind me of how you and Daisy used to be.”
“Don’t remind me of her.”
When he had brought the buggy to a complete stop, he looked at her. “I’m sorry, you must be missing her.”
“Just a little bit. Things will never be the same without her.”
“They will, Lily. Just give things time.” He jumped down and secured his horse.
Lily swallowed hard. Had time done Valerie any good when Ed had married someone else?
Matthew and Lily walked down the slight slope to join the others on the field.
“Are you going to play today?” Lily asked Matthew.
“I sure am.”
Some of the men yelled out to Matthew to join their team when they saw him.
He turned toward Lily. “Are you going to watch me?”
“I will. You go ahead. It looks like they’re waiting for you.”
Matthew hurried toward his friends to make up the numbers in the team.
Lily looked around for Violet and Willow. Once she saw where they were, she sat down on one of the benches in the grandstand. Tonight, the cousins were her responsibility.
Amish Lily Page 9
