Everyone laughed.
“Should I make us all a cup of tea?” Nancy asked.
“Jah, denke, Nancy. The girls will help you.”
“They can stay here with you. I can make it by myself.”
John looked at Hezekiah. “And while that’s happening, I have something I want to show you in the barn.”
“Let’s go.”
While the men went to the barn, the girls sat close to their mother while Nancy went into the kitchen. Nancy was pleased things had finally mended between herself and Nerida. Two years ago, Nerida would’ve never allowed the girls to stay with her, even in the same circumstances. To enable them to become friends again, Nancy had needed to let go of the notion that she had been right and Nerida had been wrong.
After Nancy had made the tea, she found a tray upon which to place the tea items and then she carried it out to the living room.
“I wonder what Dat is showing Onkel Hezekiah in the barn,” Violet said.
Nerida laughed. “I’d say they’re getting away from the women.”
“Jah, that’s what I thought, too,” Nancy said
After they talked and drank tea, Nerida suggested that the girls unpack their clothes.
Once they were gone, Nerida and Nancy were alone. Nancy knew she’d have to stick to neutral topics of conversation to avoid anything that would cause an argument.
“How does it feel to have all your daughters married now?”
“Well, I still have Lily.”
“She’s as good as married, isn’t she? I heard she and Matthew might be getting married.”
“Nothing but rumors.” Nancy was relieved that there had been no rumors about Nathanial and Lily. “Lily had her eyes on someone and he liked her too, but now he’s gone.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. It must be upsetting for Lily.”
“Jah, she is very upset about it. I don’t think I’ll have Lily off my hands for some time.”
“It was so nice of you having Violet and Willow stay with you.”
“I loved having them there. It’ll be quiet now with just Lily.”
“Enjoy the time you have with her since she’s your last one now. I must say that I often envied you having six kinner.”
Nancy was pleased that they were back to telling each other things. “You did?”
“Jah. The more kinner you have, the more grosskin.”
Nancy laughed. “I suppose that’s true, but my grosskin haven’t been quick in coming. I’m happy that Tulip is now expecting.”
“Jah, me too.”
“I do hope we can be closer, Nerida, like we once were.”
“There is no reason why we can’t be.”
“It saddens me that we lost all those years.”
“We shouldn’t look back; we should only look forward.”
“That’s true. We’ll move forward together.” Nancy reached over and held out her hand. Nerida put a hand in hers.
“You know, it was all due to me that my girls married when they did,” Nancy admitted with a giggle.
“It was?”
“Jah. I’ll tell you about it sometime.”
“I’d like to hear about it because I want Violet and Willow to marry young.”
The girls appeared in the living room.
Nancy leaned over and whispered, “I’ll tell you all my secrets another time.”
“Good!” Nerida said with her face now lit up. “I’m looking forward to it. You and I might be able to devise some plans to speed up the process.”
Chapter 21
While her mother was taking the cousins back to Nerida’s, Lily got ready for the buggy ride with Nathanial. She guessed that her mother and father would be gone for most of the day and if she planned things just right, she could be back before they got home. She might never even have to tell them about it. She doubted that she’d ever continue a relationship with Nathanial, but for now, he was a good distraction to take her mind off the man she really wanted to be with.
* * *
Nathanial jumped down from the buggy and walked toward the house. Lily hurried out to meet him.
“Hi. Where are Hezekiah and Nancy?”
“I think that’s Mr. Yoder and Mrs. Yoder to you, Nathanial.”
Nathanial laughed.
“Aren’t they home? Remember that I said I was going to come by and make sure it was all right for us to see each other today?”
“I told you there’s no need for that. They’re out now anyway.”
“Well, come on.” Nathanial took his hat off and ran a hand through his dark hair. “Are you all ready?”
“Jah, I’m ready to go.”
“Well, let’s go then,” he said. Lily hurried to the buggy. “Are you in a rush to be alone with me?”
She shot her head back to look at him. “It was you who talked me into this, remember? We don’t have to go at all. I don’t mind.”
“Calm down. I was just joking. You’re certainly not the fun girl I remember from months ago,” Nathanial said as he jumped in the buggy beside her.
Lily knew he was right. She’d enjoyed herself more and had been a happier person when Daisy had been around. Daisy was gone and nothing was fun without her, and worse than that, now Elijah was gone, too. She had to make the best of things with Nathanial and maybe he could help her get out of the bad mood that she couldn’t shake.
He turned the buggy around and trotted his horse down the driveway at a speed that would’ve horrified her mother, who always insisted that everyone walk the buggy on the driveway.
Nathanial glanced up at the sky. “Did you notice those storm clouds gathering?”
“Nee, I didn’t. Do you think we should cancel the buggy ride? It’s not gonna be much fun in the rain.”
“I love the rain,” Nathanial said with a huge smile.
“I normally like the rain and I love running in it, but only when I’m in the mood. Today, I’m not in the mood for it.”
“The rain is good; we couldn’t do without it. It gives our crops water, waters our animals and the birds, and the flowers need water too.”
She looked at Nathanial. It seemed a strange thing for him to say. Was this a new Nathanial, or was he repeating what he’d heard someone else say?
“So is this going to be a fun buggy ride?”
He stared at her and raised an eyebrow. “You’re putting me under a lot of pressure.”
“You’re always saying I need more fun. I thought this was gonna be a fun buggy ride.”
“Give me a chance; it’s only just started.”
Lily giggled, finding amusement in seeing Nathanial squirm.
“We could go down by the river to the shops where I met you—when I ran into you with … oh, sorry, that was Daisy.”
That was the last name she wanted to hear. How could she forget Daisy when everyone kept saying her name? She shook her head. “Are you saying that you like Daisy more than me?”
“Nee, it’s not like that.”
“You don’t see much difference between us? We’re quite different you know.”
“Why are you asking me these questions?” He slowed the horse as he looked over at her.
She shrugged her shoulders. “Why would I go for a buggy ride with you? I wouldn’t if I knew you were still pining after my twin schweschder.”
“You’re more fun. I haven’t thought about Daisy in ages.”
“Gut, because she’s married.”
“I know that,” he said.
“Anyway, I don’t want to talk about Daisy.”
“Neither do I.”
“You’re the one who brought up her name.”
“I didn’t mean to. We won’t talk about the subject again.”
Lily frowned. “There is no subject.”
“It’s a bit hypocritical of you to get angry with me for once liking Daisy.”
“Why do you say that?”
He leaned closer to her. “I think you’re in love with someone a
nd you’re pining after him.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Nathanial.”
“I know I’m right. You’re different with me from how you used to be.”
“You mean I’m no fun anymore?”
“I think you’re in love with Elijah Bontrager.”
Lily had nothing to say to that. She didn’t owe Nathanial any explanation and neither had he any right to know anything about her life.
When she remained silent, he said, “I’m right.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Now, where is this fun that you promised me?”
He pulled the horse over to the side of the road, and then stopped.
“What are you doing?”
He looked behind, and then turned the horse around. Once the horse was trotting back the way they’d just come, he said, “I’m taking you home.”
“Why? You made such a fuss that you wanted me to go on a buggy ride with you and when I agree you take me home? You’re mad!”
“You’re no good to me if you’re in love with someone else.”
Lily looked down to her hands on her lap. “He left to marry someone else.”
“Then you should tell him how you feel.”
“How do you know I didn’t?” she shot back.
“Because he’s not here.”
Lily shook her head. “There’s more to it. It’s a long story and it’s not mine to tell.”
“Is there anything I can do, Lily?”
“Jah, there is. Let’s just go out to a cafe and get something to eat. I really don’t want to be alone right now. I just need a friend.”
Nathanial smiled as he pulled the buggy to a stop, and turned it around again.
“My poor horse is most likely totally confused now. I can’t leave a lady in distress. I’ll be your friend for the next few hours.” He leaned closer to her. “Don’t let it get around that I’m a softie.”
“Denke, Nathanial. I don’t believe all those things people say about you.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I guess that’s a good thing.”
Lily giggled and was pleased that she had a friend, even if it was only for the next few hours.
Chapter 22
At the next Sunday meeting, Lily’s heart stopped when she saw him, and he didn’t even look over at her. Lily looked around the crowd to see if Elijah had brought his new wife with him to the meeting. Amongst all the women, she couldn’t see one woman she didn’t know.
Maybe his wife doesn’t feel good after the long journey and is having a rest at home.
Lily hoped that Elijah and his wife wouldn’t come to live in Lancaster County. The only good thing about Elijah marrying someone else was that they would be living far away and she wouldn’t have to see them all the time.
The meeting carried on and Lily hadn’t heard one word of it even though her father was the one delivering the sermon.
As soon as the meeting ended and everyone else made their way out of the house, Lily hurried over to Elijah. She’d convinced herself there was a glimmer of hope. Since she’d heard nothing about a marriage and there was no woman there, could he have changed his mind and not gotten married? Surely Valerie would’ve heard some whisper and told her if she’d heard Elijah was married. Besides that, there had been no announcement during the service that Elijah was back and had married.
It was odd that he hadn’t looked around for her as everyone had filed out of the house into the yard. She walked over and tapped Elijah on the shoulder while he was pouring out a glass of juice for himself at the drinks table.
He turned around, but there was no hint of a smile in his eyes. “Hello, Lily.”
She was concerned that he was so cold. Immediately, she knew that something was wrong. “Where have you been?”
“I went to Lowville to see Patricia.”
The words cut her like a knife. She blurted out a question that she had to know the answer to. “Are you married?”
“Nee. I went there to explain the situation to her.”
It was supposed to be good news, but the look on his face told her otherwise. Had his feelings toward her changed while he was gone?
Hoping ‘the situation’ meant that he’d explained to Patricia he couldn’t marry her because he was in love with Lily, she held her breath and waited for him to continue.
“I went there to tell her I couldn’t marry her because I was in love with you.”
The words were the ones she’d hoped to hear, but why was his face so stern?
“That’s good, but you look like you’re angry with me.”
“I am. I probably just made the biggest mistake of my life.”
“What do you mean?”
He frowned. “I get back here to find out in the short time I’ve been away, you’ve dated Matthew Schumacher and Nathanial. Nathanial, of all people.”
Her heart sank into the bottom of her boots. She’d made a huge mistake by having anything to do with Nathanial. “I can explain all that. Anyway, why didn’t you tell me what you were doing? I thought you’d gone away to get married. You didn’t say anything to me and I’ve been so worried this whole time. You could’ve written to me or left me a note.”
“Perhaps I should’ve married her. She didn’t date anyone.”
Now Lily was annoyed at his double standards. “Well, you dated someone else. You dated me. You hold me to a higher standard, but think it’s okay for you to date me when you knew you’d promised to marry someone else.” Lily pressed her lips together. She hated it when things weren’t fair. “And you gave me roses.”
“I can’t be the least bit important to you if the very minute I’m gone, you jump feet first into dating other men as if I’d never even existed.” He turned his back on her and finished filling his glass.
She held her stomach. Taking a step to stand by his side, she continued, “You don’t understand. I love you so much and it feels so good to be with you and I thought I’d lost you. I was just trying to recapture how I feel with you, with someone else. But it didn’t work.”
Elijah turned to face her with his glass of juice in one hand. “Lily, save your words.” And with that, he strode away.
She stood there staring after him. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t being fair. What she’d done might seem bad to him, but why wasn’t he looking at her side of things? Every day she’d thought about nothing but him. He might as well have married that other woman.
* * *
That same afternoon, Lily visited Valerie. Valerie was one of the few people with whom she could talk things over.
“Do you understand why I went out with those two? I was just trying to recapture what I had with Elijah. I thought he was gone for good. I had to make myself forget him somehow, some way.”
“Jah, I can see what you mean, but I can also understand how Elijah sees things.”
“Does this mean I’ve lost him, Valerie? Tell me what you think.”
“It’s hard to say. Once you’ve lost someone’s trust, it’s hard to gain it back.”
She sat there staring at Valerie, knowing that she was right. People had immediately believed bad things about Nathanial without finding out what he had to say. No one trusted Nathanial now.
“What can I do?”
Valerie shook her head. “You’ve explained yourself to him and I don’t think there’s anything else that you can do except wait.”
“I’ve never been very good at waiting. Wait for what, anyway?”
“I think this is something that Elijah will need time to think over. He obviously loves you or he wouldn’t have been so upset. In time, he’ll see that you do love him and only him.”
“I don’t know. I think I’ve lost him all together. It was my mudder’s fault. She was the one who told me I should give Matthew a chance.”
Valerie laughed. “I don’t think you can blame anyone. When you’re an adult, which you are now, you’re responsible for your own decisions no matter what. Did you have to take your Mamm’s advice
?”
“I guess not.”
“You have to take responsibility for making the decisions that you’ve made, no matter who talked you into them.”
Lily sighed. “It all seems so unfair.”
“That’s one of the things about life, it’s not always fair. Blaming someone else and not taking responsibility is what’s unfair.”
“I guess I see what you mean. Even though Mamm told me she thought I should date Matthew, I was the one who agreed. I should’ve thought about it for myself. And as you said, the choice was mine.”
Valerie nodded.
“I always thought I should listen to my parents.”
“You’re an adult now, Lily. You have to weigh things up. Even though you have to obey them about other matters since you’re living under their roof, matters of the heart are different. Oh dear, I don’t know if I’m making sense.”
“You are. You’re making perfect sense. It seems my mudder wanted to match me to someone and she likes Matthew.”
“You could have her talk to Elijah and explain things to him.”
“I couldn’t do that. I don’t think my mudder even knows how much I like him.”
“You should talk with her the way you do with me.”
Lily shook her head. “She sees me as someone else. You see me how I am, but … I don’t know. I think my mother always thinks the worst of me. I’ve talked to her enough for her to know I like him, but I can’t tell her more than that. You’re far easier to talk to.”
“You should try to talk with her.”
“I find you much easier to have a conversation with. You don’t judge me.”
“I’m just trying to be of help. Maybe your mudder is trying to do that too in her own way.”
“Anyway, whether I do or don’t talk with her, it still doesn’t solve my problems with Elijah.”
“Pray about the situation and see what happens.”
“I will. I just hope I haven’t ruined the rest of my life. What if he goes back and marries her? It must’ve taken a lot for him to go back on his word. He did it for me. I know I’m going over the same things all the time, but no one else understands me and I don’t have Daisy anymore. My cousins have gone home now too, not that I could’ve talked with them about Elijah. It’s quiet without them in the haus.”
Amish Lily Page 11
