by Laila Cole
Chapter 8 – Jennifer
I had hardly caught my breath when a wave of guilt I didn’t expect slapped me across the face. Damien scooted next to me and wrapped his arms around my body, but I grew stiff and pulled away. “Jen? Are you ok?”
“I don’t know. I’m fine.”
“Uh oh,” he said as he rubbed my back, doing his best to comfort me. “You don’t regret this do you?”
“I-I don’t know,” I said as I began to fill with anxiety.
“Nothing this beautiful can be a mistake. Sorry, but it’s just not possible.”
“It’s not you, it’s Steven. It’s my life. I’m just a fucking mess.”
He sighed. And before he could get a word in edgewise my phone began to ring. I reached over to the mahogany nightstand and grabbed it. I cried when I saw that Steven was calling me, again. I turned to Damien, “It’s my husband and I need to take this. Please don’t say anything, if he finds out about us it will destroy him.”
“Maybe that’s just what he needs,” he said.
When he’d stopped talking I answered my phone. “Steven?”
“Baby where are you? I miss you so much,” he said, his throat filled with phlegm. It was clear he’d been crying.
“I’m at my mother’s and this is where I’m going to be staying for a while.”
“Baby you’ve got to give me another chance. I’ve been a fool. I promise you things will be different. You’ve got to trust me. I love you.”
I choked up as I lost sight of the drunken monster that had beaten me and instead focused on the helpless man on the other end of the line. “I know you do Steven, but I can’t see you right now. I don’t want to keep explaining this to you.”
“Are you going to leave me for what I’ve done? If you are please just tell because I don’t think I can live without you.”
“You should have thought of that before you beat the shit out of me,” I said, my emotions thrashing in the complete opposite direction as I hung up the phone.
I collapsed into Damien’s waiting arms. “I know it’s tough but you’ve just go to stay strong,” he said. “It’s easier said than done, for sure. I get that.”
As angry as I was with Steven, there was an equal part of me that felt sympathy for him. “I know Damien. I know you’re right.” I choked up a bit. “I’m sorry but I’ve got to go.”
“Really?” he said, an exasperated tone in his voice. “I thought we were going to spend the night together.”
“I did too, but I have to get home and then go see Steven.” Steven didn’t sound good, and honestly, that scared me.
“It’s a game Jen, and he’s playing you. I watched my sister torture herself over the same thing. You’ve got to fight it.”
“I know I do. But I just can’t, not yet.” I stood up and grabbed my clothes, dressing myself in a hurry. “I’m sorry Damien, I am. Please understand that is the furthest thing from easy there is.”
He nodded. “I understand. I know I’m not in your shoes and I get that. But you have to remember too that I’m looking to move on with my life.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I snapped.
“You’re a grown woman. You know exactly what that means.”
“I told you I wanted to take things slow.”
“And I heard you, but was a night like tonight taking it slow? Help me to understand your definition of ‘taking things slow’.”
“I don’t know,” I said, even more confused than when we’d started talking.
“Listen. I just want to make sure that slow doesn’t mean never. I have so much to give, and a desire to give it, but I don’t want to waste that energy on someone that isn’t interested. I deserve more than that.”
I cried a bit and nodded. “You’re one hundred percent right. You do. You deserve someone willing to put equal energy into a relationship. I just don’t know if I’m that person.”
He scooted toward me, placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me right in the eyes. “Forget your husband and come to New York City with me. Once this deal is done we can travel all over the world together. I don’t want to waste a moment of my freedom alone.”
I was choked up like I’d never been before. “Do I have to choose now? Because if I have to choose now the answer is no.”
He nodded. “I see. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything. I understand that you need to do what’s right for you. If going to speak with your husband is something you need, then I support you. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed. “That’s all I wanted you to say.” I’d never met anyone so understanding, supportive, and willing to tell me how they truly felt. Damien was all the things I ever wanted in a man, but even with all those attributes I found myself inextricably drawn by a sense of duty to my husband. “Goodbye Damien,” I said, before kissing him on the lips.
I turned around and grabbed my purse as I left his hotel room. I’d gotten halfway down the hallway when he opened the door. “Jennifer!” he said. “Please take my car service. I’ve called down and instructed George to pick you up. And don’t forget your dress!”
“Thank you,” I said as graciously as possible. I turned back around and continued down the hallway, the elevator, and toward the black limousine parked in front of the hotel, where George was dressed in a black tuxedo patiently awaited my arrival.
“Jennifer Davenport?” he said.
I nodded. “Yes, that’s me.”
He opened the limousine door. “Please get in. Where are you headed?”
“Same place you picked me up, George.”
“Done.” George hopped in the limo and took me home.
