‘As I recall, you told me to go away.’
‘I’m not saying I was blameless, but you caught me by surprise,’ she retorted, her chin inching higher. ‘We’ve always loathed each other, Danr, I won’t deny that, but Sissa says you came to Skíð to ask questions, not to kill me. Is that true?’
‘Yes.’ He controlled the impulse to argue just for the sake of it. ‘I came only to ask about the arrow pendants. Rurik and Sandulf found them among the assassins’ belongings. Sandulf would have come and asked you about them himself, but he had to take two children to Eireann so I offered to come instead. I swear I had no intention of killing you that day.’
‘You looked convincing to me,’ Joarr growled.
‘I know, but it was an act. I only wanted to scare her.’
‘Then you did a very good job.’ Hilda pursed her lips. ‘Although if you really thought I was involved in the massacre then I suppose I can understand why.’
‘Hild—’
She lifted a hand to quiet Joarr. ‘On my life, I swear I had nothing to do with it. I would never have endangered my sons, let alone Ingrid and Gilla. I loved them.’
‘I know that now.’ Danr threw a quick glance towards Sissa. ‘But at the time, I suppose I wanted you to be guilty. I wanted to hear you confess.’
‘Understandable.’ She sounded unsurprised. ‘I would probably have blamed you, too, if I could have. I suppose you wanted to be the one to punish me as well?’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘I would have taken you to your sons and let them do it. I promised Sandulf I wouldn’t hurt you no matter what I discovered.’
‘So Sandulf really believes I might have been involved?’ A pained expression crossed her face.
‘I wouldn’t say that.’ Was he trying to make her feel better now? ‘I don’t think he truly believes it, but he recognised the pendants as yours. He—we only want to know how the assassins came by them.’
‘I’ve been wondering the same thing.’ Her brow knitted. ‘After you mentioned them, I convinced myself you must have been talking about different pendants, but then when Sissa showed them to me... It made me sick to think that anything of mine was used to pay for the murder of Ingrid and Gilla. It didn’t make any sense. It still doesn’t.’
‘Then you don’t know why the assassins had them?’
‘Not exactly...’
‘What does that mean?’ He frowned. ‘Either you know or you don’t.’
‘Then I don’t. It can’t be what it looks like.’
‘What does it look like?’ He resisted the urge to walk across the hall and shake her. ‘Sissa said you whispered something about Kolga when she showed them to you.’
‘Ye-es.’ For a moment Hilda looked on the verge of saying something else before twisting her face away.
‘She said she gave them to Kolga after an argument with Sigurd,’ Joarr answered for her. ‘She said she couldn’t bear the sight of them any longer.’
‘That wasn’t exactly the whole truth.’ Hilda’s voice sounded pained. ‘That is, I did give them to her, but not because of an argument. The truth is, I had to give them to her. She threatened to tell Sigurd about us.’
‘She was blackmailing you?’ Joarr’s expression turned ferocious. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because I thought it was better to deal with it myself. And it wasn’t blackmail—not exactly. It was...an arrangement.’
‘It sounds like blackmail to me.’
‘And me.’ Danr folded his arms.
‘Oh, now the pair of you find something to agree on!’ Hilda threw her arms up. ‘Whatever it was, I don’t understand how they could have ended up with the assassins.’
‘What did your sister think of your husband?’ Sissa asked quietly.
‘She liked him herself at first.’ Hilda shifted uncomfortably. ‘She was jealous when I married him, but that was years ago.’
‘Was she bitter?’
‘Perhaps a little—especially because of the way he used to mock Eithr, her son—but I still can’t believe she would have ordered the massacre. Why would she?’
‘Because she was always a cold-hearted bitch,’ Joarr spoke gruffly.
‘Something else we agree on.’ Danr nodded whole-heartedly. ‘I loathed her even more than I loathed you—no offence—but if she used the pendants to pay the assassins then she must have known they would be traced back to you.’
‘Which means that she framed you.’ Joarr looked ferocious again.
‘No!’ Hilda shook her head adamantly. ‘She’s my sister. We had our differences, but she wouldn’t have done that. And even if she did hate Sigurd, why would she have killed all the others? Why Ingrid and Gilla? She had no quarrel with them.’
‘Maybe not, but you have to admit that she’s profited by Brandt losing the kingdom. It went to her son.’
‘But Thorfinn acts as his guardian. Eithr’s far too weak to rule on his own.’ Hilda snapped her fingers. ‘Thorfinn! He could have been the one behind it.’
Danr threw a questioning look at Joarr. ‘He would have had access to the pendants if they were in her possession. It’s possible. Either way I need to tell Brandt.’
‘Brandt?’ Hilda’s voice softened immediately. ‘Where is he?’
‘The last I heard he was in Eireann with Alarr. They’re both well. Alarr and Sandulf are married now, too.’
‘Married?’
‘So is Rurik...’ he gave her a pointed look ‘...if you’re interested.’
As he’d expected, her eyes flashed instantly. ‘Why would I be interested in Rurik?’
‘Maybe after fourteen years of living in the same hall?’
‘He still has nothing to do with me.’
‘Oh, stop it.’ Sissa glared at them both in turn. ‘Stop goading each other. This has gone on long enough. You—’ she gestured at Danr ‘—you almost got yourself killed because of this feud and you—’ she waved her other arm at Hilda ‘—you almost got your husband killed! How many years have you spent being resentful and jealous of each other? And all over a man who sounds as though he didn’t deserve either of you! So either fight it out yourselves or stop talking altogether, but leave the rest of us out of it.’
‘She makes a good point.’ Joarr rubbed a hand around the back of his neck.
‘She does not.’ Hilda lifted her chin in the air stubbornly. ‘I’ve never been jealous of him.’
‘If you weren’t then you wouldn’t be so determined to argue. Now, neither of you is leaving this hall until you resolve it.’ Sissa jerked her head towards the others. ‘Come on. I want some air.’
* * *
‘I’ve never heard anything so vile.’ Hilda glared at him. ‘As if I’d be jealous of you!’
‘Well, maybe not me exactly, but since my mother isn’t around to be jealous of...’ Danr sighed. ‘Maybe Sissa’s right. You know, for a woman who’s spent so many years living without people, she understands a lot about them. I was always jealous of Brandt and Alarr and Sandulf because they belonged in Father’s hall. Maybe I was jealous of you, too.’
‘What do you mean?’ Hilda’s chin lowered infinitesimally. ‘Sigurd acknowledged you.’
‘But I was still a bastard. I never felt...necessary, not when he had three legitimate sons. Good, strong, clever sons. I spent years trying to get his attention.’
‘You had it. He was always boasting about you and your exploits.’
‘Don’t remind me.’ Danr made a face. ‘I’m not proud of the way I behaved, but my exploits, as you call them, always seemed to amuse him.’
‘No doubt they reminded him of his time with your mother.’
‘My mother was a good woman.’ He felt a fresh stirring of anger. ‘She would never have run away with him if he hadn’t lied to her.’
‘I know.’ Hilda’s tone sh
ifted as she sat down on a hearth bench. ‘In truth, I felt sorry for her in a way, even though I hated her, too. It wasn’t fair of me. It wasn’t fair of me to hate you and Rurik either, but...’
‘You were unhappy.’
‘Yes. I was married to a man I’d come to despise. That was bad enough, but when he brought you to live in my household, I was furious. I felt insulted, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You were just boys.’
‘I probably didn’t help.’ Danr lowered himself onto the bench beside her. ‘I was always baiting you, but you made it so easy.’
‘I did no—’ She stopped mid-way through her protest. ‘All right, maybe I did. I was a hypocrite, too.’
‘How so?’
‘I was always berating you for your behaviour, but my relationship with Joarr began sooner than it should have.’
‘I know.’
‘What?’
‘Joarr’s never been very good at dissembling. You were better at hiding it, but I knew.’
She shifted around to look him full in the face. ‘Then why didn’t you tell your father? That would definitely have got his attention. You could have had your revenge on me, too.’
‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged. ‘Maybe by that time I already knew his attention wasn’t worth having. Or maybe because Joarr had always been more of a father to me and I didn’t want him to suffer. Or maybe I just felt sorry for you.’
‘You felt sorry for me?’ Her chin whipped up indignantly.
‘You see?’ He grinned. ‘Easy.’
She stared at him for a long moment. ‘You’re not the Danr I remember.’
‘I hope not. I don’t think any of us are the same after what happened that day in Maerr.’
‘It’s not just that. You were different afterwards, yes, but today a woman ordered you to put down your sword and talk to your stepmother and you did it. The Danr I remember would never have even considered such a thing. He told women what to do, not the other way around.’ Her expression turned quizzical. ‘You were truly prepared to die for her, weren’t you?’
‘It was my fault she was here in the first place.’
‘Is that the only reason?’
‘No.’ He paused. ‘She’s...different.’
‘She’s certainly that. They say she lives all alone in the forest.’
‘Yes, until I came along. She found me dying and saved my life. Then I convinced her to let me stay.’ He made a face as she arched an eyebrow. ‘Because of my cooking actually.’
‘That’s all?’ Her eyebrow stayed where it was. ‘Because it would be easy to take advantage of a woman like that.’
‘No, it wouldn’t.’ He snorted. ‘Trust me.’
‘So you haven’t...?’
‘No.’
‘You haven’t?’
‘No!’
‘I’m impressed... Why not?’
‘Why not?’ He gave an incredulous laugh. ‘I thought you of all people would be pleased.’
‘I am. I like her. This is the first time I’ve ever approved of one of your women.’
‘I already told Joarr, she isn’t my woman.’
‘But does she want to be?’ Hilda sounded concerned rather than sceptical. ‘Because you weren’t just good at getting women into bed, Danr. You could make them fall in love with you, too. Maybe not intentionally, but you did. It’s what I hated the most about your behaviour. It reminded me so much of your father when he was young. I loved him then.’
‘I wish it were the case,’ he sighed, ‘but it’s the other way round. She wants me to leave Skíð and never come back.’
‘Ah.’
‘Maybe it’s for the best and she’s better off without a man like me.’ He ran a hand over his face. ‘I already know I’m not worthy. Maybe you were right and I’m not capable of real love either.’
‘I might have said you were shallow, Danr, but I never said you weren’t capable of love. You loved your mother. I saw how much it affected you when she died. And you love your brothers, too, I’ve always known that. And your father. You wouldn’t have been so desperate for his approval if you hadn’t loved him.’
He nodded, aware of a lump in his throat. ‘Do you think he ever cared about any of us in return?’
‘Sigurd loved Sigurd, but inasmuch as he could love, he loved you. He loved all of his sons.’
‘Thank you...’ he swallowed ‘...but Sissa still might be better off without me. You said I inherited the worst of him, that I was shallow and soulless.’
‘I was angry.’
‘But you meant it.’
‘At the time, yes.’
‘I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be my father.’
To his surprise, she reached across and patted his arm. ‘Something tells me you aren’t, at least not any more. Maybe you would have been if things had stayed as they were in Maerr, but, much as it pains me to say it, you might have become a better man, after all, Danr.’
‘That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.’
‘Don’t get used to it.’ She gave him an arch look and then glanced towards the door. ‘But I wouldn’t be so sure that she wants you to leave. When she woke up, all she thought about was saving you. Most women would have been afraid for themselves, but she thought only of you. She probably just saved your life.’
‘She does that.’ He gave a half-smile. ‘It’s becoming a habit.’
‘Maybe that means she’s good for you.’ Hilda nudged him in the ribs with her elbow and he laughed.
‘If only Father could see us now. I never imagined I’d ever sit and have a conversation with you about love.’
‘Neither did I. Do you love her, Danr?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then you should tell her.’
‘I did. That’s why she told me to leave.’
‘Because you told her you loved her?’
He made a face. ‘That and because she wants her life back the way it was before. She wants to be on her own.’
‘Completely alone? Why?’
‘Her home was destroyed in a raid five years ago. She lost her family and everyone she knew. Now she doesn’t want to be around people any more. She doesn’t trust them, warriors especially. She says she’s safer on her own.’
‘But she still helped you? And she still helps the people here, too?’
‘Yes. She’s a healer. She says it’s what she has to do.’
‘All right, but then why did she come here with the pendants?’
‘To help me.’
‘And why did she speak to me earlier? She could have kept silent and nobody would have been any the wiser.’
‘Because...’ He frowned, aware that he was beginning to repeat himself. ‘To help me.’
‘Exactly. Even if she doesn’t trust people, those aren’t the actions of a woman who doesn’t care. She wanted to save you more than she wanted to keep away from people.’
‘But she still wants me to go.’
‘Think about it, Danr. She lost everyone she cared about once. Maybe she’s afraid of that happening again? Maybe that’s really why she wants to be alone. If she were only afraid of being physically hurt, then wouldn’t it make more sense to keep a warrior around?’
‘So you think she told me to go because she cares about me?’
‘It’s possible.’
‘That makes no sense!’
‘So many women and so little understanding.’ Hilda lifted her eyes skywards. ‘It must feel strange to be rejected by a woman for a change.’
‘Mmm.’ He glared at her. ‘It’s not a pleasant feeling.’
‘No, but it’s about time you felt it. Are you really going to give up so easily?’
‘I’m respecting her wishes.’
‘Then you’re a stubb
orn fool.’ Hilda made a scornful sound. ‘So what will you do instead?’
‘I’ll go to Eireann and tell Brandt what I’ve found out.’
‘And then?’
‘Then I’ll go with him to confront Thorfinn.’
‘And after that?’
‘Do you really care?’
She pursed her lips with a thoughtful expression. ‘You know, Joarr’s been talking about building a hall of our own, maybe a whole new village. He’ll need good men. Warriors.’
Danr sat back and stared at her with disbelief. ‘Are you asking me to come back? To live here on the same island as you?’
‘I suppose so.’ She looked almost as surprised as he was by the idea. ‘Maybe I’ve taken leave of my senses, but I owe you some kind of amends.’
‘I must have taken leave of my senses, too...’ he shook his head ‘...because it actually sounds tempting. A new village is a good idea, but I just told you, Sissa doesn’t want me back.’
‘Maybe she needs time.’ Hilda stood up and looked down at him. ‘You know, pride was another of your father’s weaknesses. He would never have risked being rejected by a woman. Fortunately, you don’t want to be like him any more, do you?’ She smiled. ‘Go and talk to her, Danr. Find out the truth at least. Second chances are hard to come by.’
Chapter Twenty-One
‘May I join you?’
Sissa looked around as Knut came towards her. She was standing just outside the hall, close enough to be able to hear raised voices inside if there were any. To her relief, however, there weren’t. ‘Yes.’
‘Your name is Sissa?’
‘Yes.’
‘You’re Norse?’
‘Yes.’
‘And all this time, all these years, you could talk?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then why didn’t you speak to us?’
He sounded bewildered, though his expression was kind. He would probably have forced Joarr to release her, she thought, if Danr hadn’t got there first. And now that he knew she could speak, she might as well tell him the truth.
‘Because I come from the other side of the island, from the burnt village.’
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