‘Alone.’ The tone of his voice refused to brook any argument. ‘If Thorfinn’s responsible for Ingrid’s death, then this is between me and him.’
‘Very well then.’ Alarr gave him a long look. ‘You go alone, but only on condition that you summon us if you need to. We’ll all come, wherever we are.’
‘This is madness.’ Danr stepped forward angrily. ‘It’s too dangerous for Brandt to go alone. This isn’t just his fight. It belongs to all of us.’
‘Not any more.’ Brandt’s expression was resolute. ‘If I fail, then the rest of you can come and finish what I start, but I go first. You’ve done your part, Danr, but it’s time for you to let it go.’
‘Not until I make things right.’
‘You can’t. No one can do that.’ Brandt laid a hand on his shoulder, the look in his eyes softening slightly. ‘But you have made them better. It’s time to stop punishing yourself.’
Danr clenched his jaw. ‘I still failed you. I should have been in the hall that day.’
‘But you weren’t and the assassins were worried enough about your skill with a sword to make sure you weren’t. I’m just glad they did it with a woman and not with a dagger. Then I would have lost a brother, too.’
‘And I would have lost my twin.’ Rurik grasped his other shoulder.
‘And who would have saved my life in Strathclyde?’ Sandulf smiled. ‘We don’t blame you for surviving, Brother.’
‘You can really forgive me?’ He looked around at them each in turn.
‘We can. Whatever mistakes you’ve made, you’ve paid for them.’ Alarr gave a nod of support. ‘Now you need to get on with your life.’
‘With other things, too.’ Sandulf smirked. ‘Since this means you’ve fulfilled your oath.’
‘What oath?’ Alarr looked between them both curiously. ‘Danr? Sandulf?’
‘It’s not my business.’ Sandulf shrugged his shoulders and then stared pointedly at the ceiling. ‘But you won’t believe it. I could hardly believe it. No one from Maerr would believe it.’
‘What?’ Brandt, Alarr and Rurik all spoke together.
‘No women.’ Danr threw a vengeful look at Sandulf and then cleared his throat. ‘I swore that I wouldn’t lie with a woman until I’d made amends and earned your forgiveness.’
‘You made an oath of celibacy?’ Rurik sounded disbelieving.
‘Yes.’
‘When?’
‘After the massacre.’
‘But that was three years ago.’
‘You don’t need to remind me.’
‘And you’ve kept to your oath for three years?’
‘Yes!’
‘So you’re saying that you...’ Rurik paused for effect ‘...you, my brother Danr Sigurdsson, haven’t lain with a woman in...three years?’
‘It’s not that unlikely.’ He was starting to get annoyed. ‘And it’s not funny, either.’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘Well, apparently people really can change.’ Alarr let out a low whistle.
‘I knew you could do it.’ Sandulf slapped him on the back with a laugh. ‘I had total confidence in you.’
‘Then what are you still doing here with us?’ Even Brandt was smiling. ‘Half the maids in Alarr’s hall gawked at you when you came in. Go and find one!’
‘Or two.’ Sandulf chuckled. ‘Only don’t tell Ceanna I said that.’
‘No,’ Danr answered quietly.
‘No?’ Alarr lifted his eyebrows. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how to do it, Brother? Because if you want some advice...’
‘I don’t want just any woman.’ He planted his feet firmly apart as they all stared at him. ‘I only want one woman. My wife.’
‘Wife?’ Rurik’s jaw fell open again.
‘Yes. Her name’s Sissa and I married her just before I left Skíð. She’s staying with Hilda until I return. What?’ He frowned as they all exchanged looks.
‘Hilda? Our mother and your stepmother Hilda?’ Brandt spoke first. ‘I thought the two of you hated each other?’
‘We do. Did.’ He shrugged. ‘We’re trying not to any more.’
‘So let me get this clear.’ Rurik placed a fraternal arm around his shoulders. ‘Not only have you committed yourself to one woman—for life—but you want to return to Skíð to live on the same island as our stepmother?’
‘Yes, Sissa and Hilda seem to get along. But we’re not going to live with her. We’re going to live in the forest.’
‘The forest?’
‘Sissa has a roundhouse. It’s small, but she has a cave, too. She’s a healer.’
‘Ah.’ Rurik exchanged another look with the others. ‘Is she beautiful?’
‘Not in an obvious way.’ He smiled at the question. ‘The first time I saw her she had clay on her face and her hair looked like a bird’s nest.’
‘Is her body...?’ Rurik gestured at his chest.
‘She says she looks like a tree. I’ve always thought her more like a spear.’
‘Is she biddable?’
‘No.’ He could feel the smile widening across his face. ‘She once hit me with the hilt of a dagger so hard I almost passed out.’
‘Does she laugh at your jokes?’
‘Sometimes. She likes my stories, but a lot of the time she’d rather sit quietly with her wolves.’
‘Wolves?’
‘She has two. Halvar and Tove. You know, Halvar reminds me of you.’
‘Danr...’ Rurik sounded serious now. ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’
‘I am.’ He laughed outright. ‘For the first time in a long time, I really am. I’m in love.’
‘Then I’m happy for you.’ Rurik smiled, too. ‘She sounds interesting. Unique.’
‘She is.’
‘But you and she haven’t...?’ Alarr let the question hang in the air.
‘Not yet.’
‘You’ll be leaving in the morning then?’
‘On the very first tide, yes.’
* * *
‘Aren’t you tired?’ Danr found his eldest brother standing outside the hall, alone in the darkness. It had been a long night of feasting, but most of the revellers had finally gone to bed or collapsed in drunken stupors, Alarr, Rurik and Sandulf among them.
‘I’ve been thinking.’ Brandt’s voice was heavy.
‘About Kolga and Thorfinn?’
‘Yes. He has a stronghold in Katanes. I’ll go there next.’
‘You know I’ll still come with you if you need me to. It might be—’
‘No.’ Brandt interrupted him firmly. ‘And no more arguments.’ He gave him an appraising look. ‘Why aren’t you sleeping? You’ve had a long journey.’
‘Because right now I’d rather talk to you.’
There was a sound of feminine laughter from the doorway behind them, obviously designed to be enticing, and Brandt jerked his head in that direction. ‘Still not tempted? Your woman would never know.’
‘But I would.’
Brandt gave a smile of approval. ‘She must be special, your healer.’
‘She is. She survived on her own in the wilderness for years. I’ve never met anyone like her before.’
‘You really love her, then?’
‘With all my heart.’
Brandt nodded thoughtfully. ‘Ingrid said you’d fall in love one day.’
Danr stiffened. It was the first time he’d heard Brandt say his dead wife’s name aloud since the day of the massacre. ‘She did?’
‘Yes, and that when you finally fell for a woman you’d fall hard. It seems she was right. She always did have a soft spot for you.’ Brandt gave him a glower that turned into a smile. ‘She said there was more to you than most people saw.’
‘I hope she was right.’
‘She was. You were the one who refused to acknowledge it, not us.’
‘You know, I cared about Ingrid, too. She was beautiful inside and out. I would have died before I let anything happen to her. If I’d been there...’
‘I know.’ Brandt tilted his head, looking up at the stars. ‘She would have known it, too. But she wouldn’t have wanted you to be killed that day either. She would have wanted you to live and be happy. She would have been glad that you’ve found someone. Just like I am—for all my brothers. You’ve all found partners who suit you.’
‘Maybe one day...’
‘No.’ Brandt’s voice hardened. ‘There won’t be anyone else for me. All I want now is justice for Ingrid.’
They were silent for a few moments before Brandt lowered his head again. ‘If we’re leaving in the morning, then I suppose I should pack.’
‘We?’
‘Skíð is on the way to Katanes. It’s probably time I spoke to my mother and I wouldn’t miss meeting this wife of yours for the world.’ He laughed. ‘Sandulf was right; no one from Maerr would ever believe it. Danr Sigurdsson, in love.’
* * *
‘There you are.’ Hilda came bustling across the hall, a green tunic draped over one arm. ‘This will suit you perfectly.’
‘What is it for?’ Sissa looked up from her sewing, taking the garment and holding it out at arm’s length in confusion. It was undeniably beautiful, with a neckline and cuffs trimmed with intricately woven green and yellow braid which had obviously taken many hours to make, but it was far too fine for living in a forest. Impractical, too. She’d wrench the sleeves off within a day.
‘For you to wear, of course. And we’d better start braiding your hair properly now that you’re a married woman.’ Hilda smiled benevolently. ‘You want Danr to be pleased when he sees you.’
‘He knows what I look like.’ Sissa lifted an eyebrow, surprised by the other woman’s enthusiasm. ‘You really don’t hate him any more, do you?’
‘No.’ Hilda sat down on a stool by her side. ‘I’m tired of all that. I was tired of it a long time ago, but I didn’t know how to let go of it. Now I want to think of the future and the village we’re going to build.’
‘Village?’ She dropped the gown into her lap abruptly.
‘Didn’t Danr tell you?’ Hilda gave a secretive smile. ‘I suppose it was all such a rush before he left. Joarr wants us to build a new hall somewhere close by on the island.’
‘No, he didn’t mention anything.’ She searched her memory, but he hadn’t said a word about building a hall, at least not since that night when they’d camped on the other side of the island and that had only been a passing thought, surely? ‘You mean Danr discussed it with you?’
‘Only briefly, but he thought it was a good idea.’
‘I didn’t think you and he would want to live in the same village.’
Hilda made a dismissive sound. ‘I admit the idea seemed unlikely to me, too, at first, but as long as he proves a good husband to you, Danr will be a part of my family from now on. Which makes you my daughter. Truth be told, I always wanted one of those. And I hope you and Danr will have many more for me to enjoy.’
‘Many more what?’
‘Daughters, of course!’ Hilda laughed. ‘And sons, too. It’ll be good to have children around again.’
‘Oh.’ Sissa balled her fists into the tunic on her lap. She hadn’t planned that far ahead. She hadn’t planned at all beyond Danr’s return. She’d only just accepted the idea of sharing her life with him. She definitely hadn’t considered children!
‘But there’s plenty of time for all that...’ Hilda continued, ‘though I don’t suppose Danr will want to waste any time getting started.’
‘You mean with mating?’
‘I...’ Hilda’s expression froze with an expression of shock. ‘Ye-es, I suppose so... Ah.’ She stood up hastily. ‘I see Alva wants me. We’ll talk more later.’
Sissa watched her go, squeezing her brows together and chewing the insides of her cheek anxiously. The tunic in her lap felt heavy. No doubt Hilda wanted her to try it on, but she didn’t want to. All she wanted was to get out into the open air, away from the bustle and noise of the hall where the very walls felt as though they were closing in and stifling her senses. A village? Danr had said they’d make decisions together. He definitely hadn’t said anything about a village, but according to Hilda, they’d already agreed and her future was as good as decided. They were going to build a new village, a new home where she and Danr could live and have babies... Babies!
She rubbed her palms together as they started to sweat. Her head was swimming, although it didn’t feel quite like her head either. She felt as if she were outside her own body and looking at someone with neatly combed hair, a clean woollen gown and a freshly scrubbed face. At this rate, Danr might not even recognise her when he came back. If he came back.
She stood up, trying to shake off the sense of rising panic. What if he never came back? She’d tried not to think about the possibility after his longboat had left, but he’d already been gone for twelve days—surely enough time for him to reach Eireann and come back again? What if something had happened to him? What if he’d changed his mind about being married to her? What if Hilda had been right about him all along?
She started up out of her seat, the tunic sliding from her fingers to the floor. How long was she supposed to wait? Surely two weeks was as long as Danr could have expected? It wasn’t as if she was really in any danger on her own. She’d survived for three years without any help. Besides, if she left now he wouldn’t know anything about it until he came back and if he was angry with her then, well, what would it matter at that point? According to Hilda, he was planning to break his word about where they would live, so why shouldn’t she break hers? She’d done the favour he’d asked for as long as she could bear it, but she didn’t have to stay for ever. If that was the kind of wife he wanted, then he ought to have chosen one of his other women.
The thought of them steeled her resolve. She’d made a mistake in agreeing to his favour. In agreeing to marry him at all, perhaps. She wasn’t suited to life in a hall, around people. She was suited to being on her own and taking care of herself.
The forest was her home, the place where she belonged. That was where she would go.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Skíð
Danr leaped off the prow of the longboat on to the beach. The return journey had taken longer than he’d expected, thanks to a storm that had kept them trapped on shore at first and then blown them too far south, but he was finally back, his feet rooted in the one place in the world that now felt like home. It was raining—of course it was raining—but he felt ten times lighter and happier than he had when he’d left. He was back and he was staying. With his wife.
It was an exhilarated feeling that lasted all of thirty seconds until he lifted his head and saw Hilda running across the beach towards him, her expression a combination of relief and dread.
‘What’s happened?’ He grasped hold of her upper arms as she reached him. ‘Where’s Sissa?’
‘I don’t know. She’s run away... Brandt?’
‘Mother.’ His brother’s customary scowl became even more pronounced at the sight of Joarr striding up behind her.
‘What do you mean, she’s run away?’ Danr tightened his grip on her shoulders. Whatever she had to discuss with Brandt could wait. ‘What happened?’
‘I don’t know. One moment I was giving her a gown and talking about the future, the next she was gone. The guards said she just walked out and left.’
‘What? When?’
‘Two days ago.’
‘Two days?’ He frowned. Why would she have left? Especially after she’d promised him? Had she deceived him—tricked him—again? No. He discarded the idea as quickly as he thought it. If she’d never intended to
stay, then she would have left straight away, as soon as his boat was out of sight. There had to be another reason and at least two days wasn’t long. She couldn’t have gone far.
‘She’s probably just gone back to her roundhouse,’ he said with relief.
‘We’ve been into the forest.’ It was Joarr who spoke this time. ‘We found her roundhouse, but there was no sign of her. No sign of anyone having been there for a while either.’
‘Halvar? Tove?’ He made an impatient gesture as everyone stared at him blankly. ‘Her wolves! Did you see them?’
‘Not a glimpse.’
Danr looked towards the forest, struck with a growing sense of unease. He felt as if there were icy fingers trailing up and down his spine, warning him something was wrong. Where was she this time? Wherever it was, he only hoped that Halvar and Tove were with her, protecting her, unless they’d simply wandered away after she’d agreed to stay in the village, as he’d thought they might. His stomach churned at the thought.
‘I don’t know what happened.’ Hilda reached for his sleeve. ‘She was quiet while she was here, but there didn’t seem to be anything wrong. I’m sorry.’
‘You said you were talking about the future right before she left. What kind of future?’
‘Just about the hall we’re going to build.’
‘Wait, you mean you told her about your plans for a new village? Did you say I was involved?’
‘Just that you thought it was a good idea.’ She bit her lip. ‘Although, I suppose I might have implied more. I said it would be a good place to raise children.’
‘Children?’
‘Yes.’ Hilda looked stricken. ‘Do you think I frightened her away?’
Yes!
He bit his tongue on the word, squeezing her shoulders reassuringly instead. The gesture would have been unthinkable two weeks ago, but now he knew the concern in her eyes was genuine. And he wasn’t blameless. He should have asked Hilda not to mention the new village, especially after he’d promised Sissa they would make decisions together. Now she probably thought he’d been planning behind her back, planning to tell her what to do again. Panic clawed at his throat, so he had to take a deep breath before he spoke again. ‘I need to go and look for her. She might have gone along the coast.’
Redeeming Her Viking Warrior Page 19
