Mena, despite appearing a bit convinced with Narad’s arguments, took umbrage at his hectoring assertion that nobody could keep Shiv and Parvati separate, taking it as a challenge to a mother’s concern for her daughter. She scolded Narad that he, being a bachelor and vagabond, could not realise a mother’s pain for her daughter. However, Narad again tried to convince her by reiterating that they all were mere tools in the divine scheming of union of Shiv and Parvati.
Finding that her mother’s temper was a bit cooling down, Parvati slunk closer to her and softly cuddled her from behind. Puerilely leaning on her left shoulder, she whispered in her ear entreating her to allow the marriage. The mother discerned the depth of her daughter’s desire and immediately announced that the wedding be solemnized with full grandeur.
6.10
The marriage was performed with protracted rituals. Everybody was happy, but the departure of the bride was marred by a ruckus created by Shiv over presents offered by the king to the newlywed couple. He refused to accept the gifts and insisted that Parvati accompany him in an ordinary woman’s clothes, leaving behind her royal robe. He sought to justify his decision that he being no royal person could not afford the trappings of a royal living for his bride. When the elders tried to convince him to let the bride wear her bridal royal clothes at least on that occasion, he emphasised that one should not be entrapped in a pretentious living even for a moment and even on the occasions like wedding. Everybody was silenced, except weeping Mena who was deeply anguished that her daughter was being deprived of a woman’s deep longing for good clothes and jewellery.
6.11
At Kailash, Shiv realised that he had no home for the newlywed wife. He once again erected a snowhouse for the new bride. He arranged the basics of household, making every effort to liven up the ascetic ambience. He tried his best to keep Parvati pleased in whatever frugal he had to offer. He would collect fruits and flowers from Anand Kanan, and prepare Somras from the brewery. He even structured stairs on the path to a nearby pond to facilitate bath for Parvati, as she was in awful habit of taking bath religiously daily. He named the pond Gaurikund, the pond of Gauri, to keep the fragrance of her maiden name alive and afresh.
Parvati fell sick. Shiv was peeved. He insinuated that Parvati’s sickness was because of her obsession with daily bath in icy cold water. It caused a tiff, though brief, between them. Shiv was alarmed. He started taking her more often to Anand Kanan for a change and to alleviate the suspected ill effects of high altitude on her. He would administer her large doses of Somras in an attempt to invigorate her.
6.12
After a couple of months, in the summer that year, King Haimvat and Queen Mena, along with ministers and minions, visited Deul and set up camps on the bank of the Manas Lake. This excursion was specially organized on insistence by Queen Mena who was desperate to know about how her daughter was fairing with her freaky husband.
Despite approaching up to the foot of the Mount Kailash, the royal couple – Mena and Haimvat – could not meet their daughter living with her husband at the peak. Even sending a message of their arrival to her was a big problem. Assistance from villagers was sought, but they were of little use as they frowned at the idea of sending someone to Shiv and Parvati, climbing the Kailash. They were gravely scared of stirring up the spirits residing there, which, they believed, would turn revengeful on being jarred by ordinary mortals.
Gannu and Bhero got into a huddle with the royal couple and ministers to find a way out to access Parvati and Shiv. Gannu suggested that they should go up to the cremation plateau, and make loud calls to Shiv and Parvati, who would respond if they happened to be at Anand Kanan. It was Gannu only who knew about the Anand Kanan, and who was able to guess that Shiv must be often visiting, along with Parvati, the garden of bliss.
6.13
Parvati, sitting on Shiv’s lap at Anand Kanan, was stirred by clamorous calls coming from the downs intermittently – sometimes in a feminine voice and other times in a heavy masculine voice. These calls appeared to her familiar and intimately affectionate. She asked Shiv to listen intently to the voice, who laughed it out, teasing her that she was looking for one more excuse to escape from the love play.
Resenting Shiv’s sensuality by pummelling her fists on his broad hairless chest, Parvati curtly asked him to listen to the voices, which were growing shriller. Surprised to notice that some voices were actually coming from the downs, Shiv instantly inferred that there must be something urgent for which people were calling for him. He asked Nandi to immediately carry Parvati down to the cremation plateau and followed himself on foot. Soon the voices were clearer, and they could recognize who they were calling for them. They hurried to them – Parvati moved much ahead of Shiv. Seeing that her parents were there, she jumped down from Nandi and ran to her mother who grasped her affectionately in embrace. Tears welled up in the eyes of the two women out of sheer emotional upsurge. The onlookers stood stunned to see the awesome meeting of the daughter and the mother. Shiv preferred to stay back. He was, however, joined shortly by Gannu and Bhero.
Parvati was engrossed in talks with her parents. While Haimvat was not much keen to know about her stay with Shiv, Mena asked many intimate questions in whispers, trying to keep the conversation out of Haimvat’s earshot. She was disconcerted that her svelte daughter had grown precariously skinny and looked sick. She blamed it all on Shiv. Further, when she noticed Shiv standing away with his friends, she lost her temper, taking Shiv’s conduct as snobbery and discourtesy. She rushed to him, and called for an explanation about Parvati’s health deterioration. She even chided Shiv branding him a bad husband, who did not bother for comforts of his wife. Shiv was indulgently silent; Parvati was albeit at unease at allegations being levelled against Shiv, though it was hard for her not to smirk and look furtively at him.
Amidst onslaughts of allegations, Mena lambasted Shiv for living a weird life of a recluse even after marriage. She condemned his lifestyle and accused him of running away from the society. Highlighting hazards of high altitude, she asked him to leave living at Kailash. She even did not spare Deul and condemned it as unfit for living of civilized people. She impressed on him that he was not now a hermit but a married man and had some responsibilities towards his wife. She asked him to immediately move to some city to live like a citizen, shunning his tribal and reclusive trappings.
Haimvat, who was a silent onlooker stunned over Mena’s barbs, came up to speak to Shiv, gracefully and politely, as if moderating Mena’s aggressiveness. He implored Shiv to arrive at the mainstream society living in the plains. Lauding him as a person of great accomplishment and enlightenment, he appealed to him to descend on the plains to help people rid off sorrows. He made an elaborate description of people in the plains suffering because of ignorance and banal rituals. He emphasized that the society at large needed the person like Shiv as their leader, and that he should not keep him confined to a secluded place like Kailash. Evoking Shiv’s compassion, the king stressed that the efficacy of compassion could be realised through experimentation in the society and not at an isolated peak of a mountain.
Shiv appeared convinced by the appeal from Haimvat. But, he preferred to keep mum - neither showing enthusiasm to King’s appeal nor expressing displeasure to Queen’s aggressiveness - though bitterness caused by the Queen was still stinging him. Suddenly, he set to move back to Kailash, without saying formal adieu to his in-laws. Parvati, being a committed companion, followed him, though with a heavy heart, taking leave of her parents.
En route to Kailash, there was an unusual silence between Shiv and Parvati. Both were tense – Shiv brooding over his encounter with his in-laws and their insistence on him to leave his dear Kailash, and Parvati taking umbrage at Shiv’s insolence towards her parents. When at Kailash, there was a big run-in between them over what the King and Queen had desired. There were arguments and counter-arguments from both sides – Shiv rejecting the suggestion and Parvati insisting on it. Ultimately, Shiv yielde
d sadly.
Chapter seven
Search for City
7.1
Four teams were readied - each comprising a leader and two associates – to embark on an expedition along the course of one each of the four major rivers emanating from the abode of snow. Gannu and Viru, the one-eyed friend of Shiv from Lohtsa, led their teams along the Ganga and the Yamuna, respectively. Bhero went along the mighty Brahmaputra, while Ruru, the man of extraordinary combination of mind and might among the people of Thongsa, followed the shimmering Sindhu. They all had to search for a city suitable for Shiv and Parvati.
Shiv and Parvati had descended on Lohitsa to brief the search teams – on the hardships and precautions for the journey, by Shiv; and on preferences and likes of the desired city, by Parvati.
When back to Kailash, Shiv was sad at the prospect of separation from his abode of peace. Sensing Shiv’s sadness, Parvati became unnerved, and in a bid to appease him, tried to pick up a talk on a topic dear to Shiv. Cherishing Parvati’s concern, Shiv desired for some light and entertaining talk. Looking out for one such subject, he chanced upon an anecdote of his school days at Vishwayatan.
7.2
Pulak, son of Ulook of Prayag, was a brilliant student at Vishwayatan. At around twenty, when he completed his graduation, he was required to exercise an option for either the householder’s or the celibate’s stream of studies, his post-graduation, and thereafter three-year course of Vidya Varidhi, the doctoral research. Pulak opted for the celibate’s stream, and in that too, he chose Adhyatma, the spiritual stream. It was quite a natural choice for him as he had all proclivities for an austere, studious and spiritual life.
While Pulak was around twenty-three, engaged in his doctoral persuasion, he would visit his guide and mentor, Acharya Sheelbhadra at his hut for directions and consultations. Pulak was very close to Sheelbhadra because of his propensity for deeper knowledge and keenness to go beyond the express words of scriptures.
Dhi, an about-twenty-year-old girl of outstanding beauty, was daughter of Acharya Sheelbhadra. She was so sharp in intelligence that his father had named her Dhi, meaning intellect. Though she was a sprightly, fun-loving and frolicsome young woman, she had pledged her life to celibacy - perhaps prompted by her ambience.
One evening Pulak was meditating on a stone slab in the backyard of the hut, trying to concentrate on what he believed to be the nucleus of the divine Existence. Despite his strenuous efforts, he was failing again and again in his endeavour. It was causing deep frustration, but he remained steadfast. Suddenly, he was rocked wildly by a shrill voice in his left ear. Startled, Pulak opened his eyes to see what it was all about, and he saw a beautiful damsel giggling with delight.
Annoyed over disruption of his meditation, Pulak grunted with exasperation: “Who are you?”
The insouciant girl, instead of bothering for Pulak’s anguish or answering his question, asked teasingly, “Why are you sitting on my slab?”
“Your slab? Who are you?” Pulak sought to know in surprise.
“Lo! You’re trying to drive me away by the counter-question! But, no, I’ll not spare you,” avowed the girl resolutely.
“But, would you please let me know who you are?” implored Pulak, wishing to get rid of the hectoring girl.
“I am Dhi, your sister,” quipped the girl.
“My sister? But I have no sister.” Pulak was in bewilderment.
Delighting in his angst, the girl purred, “See, Acharya Sheelbhadra is your Guru, the spiritual father, and he is my natural father. So, I am your sister.”
Before Pulak could overcome the girl’s brashness, she repeated her poser, seeking to know why he was sitting on her slab. Flabbergasted, Pulak looked at her blankly, to know as to what did she meant by her slab. Giggling, the girl expressed surprise over his ignorance about how her father had dedicated that slab to her for practicing meditation, wishing that her determination be as firm as the slab. Expressing regret for the inadvertent encroachment, Pulak tried to move out hastily, but was prevented by Dhi, though she continued confronting him stating that she did not mean that he should leave his meditation midway, and that she only meant that he should have sought her permission before using the slab.
Deeply disoriented, Pulak was at a loss of words and looked blankly at Dhi in embarrassment. Dhi hopped away, casting a bewitching look over Pulak. Filled with a strong desire for her, Pulak could not restrain himself from falling in love.
Pulak was completely smitten by sultry Dhi. She was in his dreams; she was in his thoughts; she was in his meditations. Whenever he tried to focus his mind on his spiritual pursuit, Dhi’s image would emerge blocking the progress. As he tried to push away her image, he was caught more deeply in the grip of passion for her. His meditations were spoiled as her raunchy image persisted to haunt her. He would grow crazy in nights due to erotic dreams. He feared he would go mad if such amorous thoughts would continue to haunt him, robbing him of his pledge of celibacy and aspiration of spiritual realisation. He knew it was not possible to congress with Dhi as such alliance was not permitted by his profile and the path he had opted. Further, the university would censure him severely if they came to know about what he thought about the daughter of his revered spiritual mentor. He could share his suffering with none; neither could he seek advice or direction from anybody, least unlikely from his mentor, to get out of the vexed situation.
Pulak withdrew himself to complete seclusion, away from everyone, except the thoughts of Dhi who had occupied the whole space of his consciousness. His mind constantly delighted in weaving erotic fantasies. The fantasies were lovely, dark and deep, while conscience kept constantly knocking at the door of his consciousness, reminding him of looming failure in his objective. The predicament was too heavy to bear, and one evening after one more failed meditation, he came to conclusion that his life, devoid of his goal, was not worth living.
Downstream the river Ganga, much down from the main bank where the Vishwayatan people would bathe and collect water for oblation and domestic use, Pulak was standing on a secluded shore that evening to find out an end to his terrible thoughts. He could see no way except seeking refuge in deep waters. He, however, decided to wait till the brahma muhurta, the time of the God, in the morning, to drown himself in the river. He kept himself awake all through the night pondering over his struggles and failures, amidst deep longing for Dhi entrenched in his heart.
Standing in knee-deep water of the river, Pulak was crying, seeking forgiveness from the God for his failures in his ordained endeavour, and instead falling a prey to carnal desires. He squealed emotional appeals to Acharya Sheelbhadra and friends at the Vishwayatan to forgive and forget him for yielding to defeat and running away like a thief. All through these cries, whines and wailings, he could not forget Dhi. Weeping bitterly and calling loudly for Dhi, he was wading towards the depth of the river to seek his final destination. Suddenly, he was caught from behind by two soft arms. Looking back in surprise, he saw it was Dhi clutching him from waist and dragging to the riverbank.
It was Dhi’s daily regimen of running in the early morning from Vishwayatan to this far-flung isolated place to hone her physical and spiritual strengths. This was the time when she would have a glimpse, though mostly faint and fleeting, of liberation from earthly bondage.
Dhi was struck with amazement when she saw that the person she dragged to the shore was none other than Pulak. In an excited curiosity she was eager to know why Pulak was driven to such an extreme step. Pulak was silent, unwilling to speak out. He was deeply shocked over unexpected turn of event. On persistent pressure from Dhi he vented his anger and frustration on her, alleging that she had been the cause of his undoing on the path of spiritual persuasion, and she had now hindered his path of departure from the world.
Dhi was pained to realise that Pulak was ending his life because he was caught in conflict between his longing for her and spiritual aspiration. In view of his infatuation for her, she offered herself to Pulak
, emphasising, “My life will be of some value if it saves life of someone as the life is ever greater than any achievement, may it be the spiritual attainment.”
Pulak was enamoured with Dhi’s conduct, though he was confused whether the magnanimity was impelled by compassion or realization of his longing for her. Dhi pulled him out of his whirling thoughts, admitting that she also loved him.
Pulak and Dhi rushed to Acharya Sheelbhadra back at Vishwayatan to apprise him of their intention for alliance and seek his blessings. Sheelbhadra was shocked that his disciple and his daughter, who had pledged themselves to celibacy, had set on the path of passion, contrary to ethos of the people dedicated to spiritual studies. But seeing the firmness of their resolve, he agreed to talk to the Kulpati.
The Kulpati bristled at what Sheelbhadra told to him. He immediately refused to accord his approval to such aberration, let aside blessing the couple. On persistent entreaties by Sheelbhadra who echoed the feelings of his daughter that life is always worth saving even by making the severest sacrifice, the Kulpati relented to refer the matter to Vidwat Parishad, the academic council.
A raging discussion occurred in the Vidwat Parishad. There was a formidable group who demanded that Pulak be punished for a sinful craving for a woman, polluting his vow of celibacy, and foolishly trying to end his life. They even demanded punishment for Dhi for allegedly alluring an ascetic student to the path of passion. They even condemned Sheelbhadra for remaining ignorant of what was transpiring between his disciple and his daughter and failure in mentoring well his disciple and putting leash on his daughter. There was another group who empathized with the couple as well as Sheelbhadra taking a lenient and humane stand. The Kulpati, who was privileged to deliver the final verdict, was caught on the horns of dilemma – he was duty-bound to protect the high ethical standard of the university and at the same time he could not be dumb to the voice of his conscience against the futility of sacrificing the carnal needs for vague and illusory spirituality. Flummoxed, he looked furtively at the hapless couple, who sat there huddled. Suddenly, a way out flashed in his mind. He accorded approval to the union of the couple, but asked them to immediately leave the campus so that the instance could not be a trendsetter.
Becoming God Page 9
