by Julie Hall
Now she was confusing me. “But why would you do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? There’s great joy in being able to be a part of each other’s victories. And in caring for one another.”
“I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t given that much thought since I arrived.”
She smiled. “Don’t be. I know it might not seem like it, but the time you have now, before your memories come back, can be a gift. You have the opportunity to take an unencumbered view of everything. Decide who you want to be, then make it so.”
“That easy, huh?”
“No . . . that hard.”
I nodded and smiled back, happy she got it too. I’d simply wanted to make amends for my bad behavior—I didn’t really expect Kaitlin to turn into a friend. Today was full of surprises.
“So that’s about as deep as I can get for one day. Want to train in here with me for the rest of the afternoon?” she asked.
“That’s really nice of you to offer, but . . .”
“You like the solitude, right?”
“Yes, I do.”
She nodded knowingly. “I get it. It helps me get things sorted out myself sometimes. There’s another gym at the end of the hall that’s probably available. This far from the center, most of these gyms are probably covered in cobwebs.”
“As long as the spiders are long gone, I can handle that. Thanks again.”
“Anytime.”
The sky was already changing color when I left the training center, which surprised me. It didn’t feel like I’d been there all day. Between running drills, I’d been going over all that had happened in the last few days. Calculating moves, distances, and speed while processing conversations, body language, and motives. But instead of being exhausted, I was rejuvenated. I didn’t have anything figured out per se, but the freedom to soak everything in on my own seemed to have helped. And something about the actual workout was encouraging as well. For the first time, I felt in sync. Without the pressure of being critiqued, I fell into a rhythm, and my usual awkwardness and clumsiness melted away.
It was quiet on my walk back. The sky was a kaleidoscope—breathtakingly beautiful. I had an overwhelming sense that it was a gift just for me, but of course that was a silly thought.
On impulse I stopped and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath of fresh air, and wished I could freeze the moment to enjoy later. When I opened them, a blur of movement to my left distracted me.
I turned my head in time to see Logan disappear into the forest. In the low light, he vanished so quickly he appeared to be swallowed by the darkness. My curiosity took control, and I jogged to the edge of the tree line. I could just make out his silhouette moving further away. Maybe if I was very careful, I could follow him without being detected. There was so much about Logan I didn’t know, I couldn’t seem to help myself.
When I stepped under the cover of the trees, I too was instantly swallowed by darkness. The thick forest canopy completely blocked out the vibrant colors of the dying day. I didn’t wait for my eyes to adjust to the low light. I had to start moving now or I’d lose sight of Logan completely.
It was a mixed blessing that I was so far behind him. Despite my best effort, I still made a lot of noise as I picked my way through the foliage. Eventually, my eyes adjusted and I started to see more details in the early night.
I didn’t wonder if Logan would be mad at me for following him. Instead, I forced myself to concentrate on keeping up. A breeze picked up and tossed my hair behind me. The cool nip to the air sent a chill down my spine. Logan’s form was barely discernible—despite his unhurried gait, he was getting further away from me at every step—I could lose him at any moment. A bolt of fear shot though my body. I was suddenly desperate to get closer. The idea of losing him in the dense darkness scared me.
Another gust of night air blew, and mist coiled around my feet with a strong chill. I yelped despite myself and took off in a run. My heart beat violently, and I looked back to see the mist hugging the ground, spreading toward me. I had the wild thought that it was chasing me and picked up my speed, surprising myself by dodging roots and low-growing plants with relative ease. There seemed to be light coming through a break in the trees ahead. If I could just get there, I’d be safe.
I came to a halt a few trees short of the break.
Logan was kneeling on the ground in what might be called a clearing. It was closer to a crack in the canopy that allowed a wide beam of silvery light to break through and illuminate a patch of grass.
His back was to me, his head bent, shoulders slumped, like they carried the weight of the world. The odd silvery light created a glow all around him. With his head bowed and hunched over his knees, the deep rumblings of his baritone voice filtered to my ears. His words weren’t loud enough for me to discern, but they were filled with emotion. And something about what I was seeing, even if I didn’t understand it, moved me. I stared at Logan with an equal mix of awe and wonder, the mist all but forgotten.
After a time, he heaved a big sigh and said, “You can come out now. I know you’re there.”
There was no use pretending. This close, knowing Logan, he could probably hear me breathe. I stepped out from behind the trees at the same time Logan stood and turned.
“Well, I suppose it would be you.” He tilted his head back with a humorless laugh. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome?” I said.
He gave me a look I couldn’t interpret. “I wasn’t talking to you, but never mind. What are you doing out here anyway?”
“I saw you walk into the forest on my way back from training and wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“And what exactly did you think would happen to me out here?” He sounded amused.
I wracked my brain for an answer that didn’t seem incredibly lame. Then something close to the truth hit me.
“That weird mist stuff?”
Logan’s brows knit. “Say what?”
“That creepy mist. You didn’t see it?” I took a quick look at my feet to make sure none of it was hiding under my shoes.
Logan shook his head and continued to regard me with a look that said he didn’t believe a word coming out of my mouth.
“Well, whatever.” I shrugged. “Now that I see you’re fine, I guess I’ll just get going.”
I glanced around the forest and realized I had no idea where we were. I chewed on my lower lip while I considered which direction to go. How large could the woods be, anyway? Maybe if I wandered in them long enough, I’d end up in another part of the realm around people I didn’t constantly embarrass myself in front of. I was just about to take a step forward when Logan spoke up.
“You know, I think the truly implausible thing is that you expect me to believe you spent the entire day training without me there to make you.”
I whirled around to face him. “Hey,” was as far as I got in my defense. Logan had taken a few steps closer to me, and when I turned we were practically on top of each other. The silvery light had disappeared, so we stood together in relative darkness. The look on Logan’s face was obscured by shadows as he peered down on me. I grasped to remember what we were talking about. It was floating close enough to the fringe of my thoughts that it came back to me.
“I really did train all day. You can check the log if you don’t believe me.” My words sounded breathless. The fire I’d intended to put into them was nowhere to be found.
“Well, that’s surprising.” Logan sounded annoyingly thoughtful—and not the least bit affected by me as I was by him. That bruised my ego enough to give me the frame of mind to step back and rekindle the fire.
“Well, it shouldn’t be. If you’d try to focus on some of my more attractive qualities you might learn to develop a measure of faith in me.” I spun in the other direction, determined to get away from him.
Logan huffed out a breath behind me and mumbled something that sounded like, “I’m trying quite hard to do the exact opposite.”
I didn’t h
ave time to ponder that. He grabbed my arm, halting my retreat. I turned only my head in his direction. “It’s this way,” he said, nodding to the left.
“Oh.”
“Mind if I walk back with you? You know, just in case the mist comes back. I’ll need someone to protect me.”
I rolled my eyes and grunted in response. Truce, then. We fell in step with each other and walked in silence for a while before Logan said anything.
“Audrey . . .” He paused a moment before going on. I looked over to see him staring straight ahead with a serious look on his face. I had an intuition that I wasn’t going to like whatever was going to come out of his mouth next. “I think we should talk about what happened.”
My stomach instantly knotted up, and my heart started to beat wildly. Why was he bringing this up now? Hadn’t we already agreed it wasn’t something we were going to talk about, ever?
“Audrey, did you hear me? I think it’s important that we at least talk about what happened.”
My feet propelled me forward even as I felt paralyzed on the inside. It was eerily quiet as Logan waited for me to say something. Where was that creepy mist when I needed it?
Logan sighed after a few long moments. “Listen, I know this isn’t something you want to discuss, but as much as we would like to, I don’t think we can just pretend it didn’t happen. There are things . . . rules . . . you don’t know about that you should.”
He sounded tired. I didn’t dare try to read his face. Instead, I busied myself with taking extra care to pick my way along the nonexistent path through the trees.
“I would like to have more than a one-way conversation.”
“Well, that’s a first.”
I could practically feel Logan’s walls go up. I’d hit my mark. Rather than being happy he’d stopped talking, I regretted my words. I snuck a look at Logan out of the corner of my eye. His profile was as hard as stone. I’d done that.
It occurred to me only then that Logan was trying to be vulnerable with me, and I’d just thrown it back in his face. I couldn’t think of a way to make it right again. Maybe if I swallowed my fear and just talked about the stupid kiss, it would right things between us.
I’d almost worked up the courage to do so when we broke through the trees.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Logan said before turning in the opposite direction.
“Logan, wait!” I yelled after him. I jogged to catch back up. It was only when I did that he stopped to face me again, the wintry look still on his face.
“It’s just that, I don’t really know . . .” I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to say, but it didn’t matter because that’s all I got out before we were interrupted.
“Did you guys just come out of there?” Romona stood a few feet away, looking confused. Her eyes darted back and forth between Logan and me. “It’s kind of late to be training out in the woods, don’t you think?”
I wasn’t sure if she was asking me or Logan. He saved me by replying, but his eyes remained glued to me. “We weren’t training. I found Audrey roaming around and helped her find her way back.”
It was the one version of the truth that made me appear incredibly incompetent. Between his comment and the intense way he was still staring at me, my emotions teetered between aggravated and uncomfortable.
“Audrey, what were you doing wandering out in the woods by yourself?”
I broke the stare-down. “I thought I saw something out there, and then I got turned around. I kind of stumbled across Logan.”
Romona turned everything over in her head. She was clearly having a hard time adding it up.
“I’m going to get going,” Logan said. “It’s been a long day. I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was less harsh than before, but he didn’t wait for us to reply before taking off. By the time I could open my mouth to answer, he was already jogging off.
I stared after his retreating form with a frown, trying to make sense of everything that had happened that evening. What exactly was Logan doing out in the woods? And what was up with that silver light and mist? And perhaps the question I was most curious about—What would have happened if we’d had the talk he wanted? A small part of me was disappointed that I’d missed the opportunity to talk with him.
I almost forgot Romona was there until she laid a soft hand on my shoulder.
“Everything okay?” she gently asked.
“Oh, yeah, sure.” I chewed my lower lip in concern. Romona was kind enough to change the subject. “How’d your day go? Did you get the chance to talk to Kaitlin?”
I gave her a genuine smile. “Yes, we did actually get to talk. It went okay. She was nice.”
“See!” Romona’s smile was from ear to ear. “I told you it wouldn’t be that bad!”
“You were right. I’m glad we got the opportunity to clear the air. We decided to try to start over.”
“That’s really great, Audrey. I’m glad that isn’t weighing on you anymore.” She linked her arm through mine and propelled me in the direction of my tree. “Now, on to more important things! Let’s get you cleaned up. I was hoping you’d want to hit the town with me tonight.”
A few hours later, pampered and beautified, we looked at our made-up, nail-polished, and blow-dried reflections in a salon mirror. She looked beautiful. So did I. It was the last thing I’d expected to do that evening, but I couldn’t believe how much it lifted my spirits. And the night was still young—Romona had plans to hit a restaurant afterward. She stood behind me with a soft smile on her face as she looked at my reflection. I took in hers in return.
Romona’s hair looked awesome. Her hair was a bit darker than mine and free of my unexpected highlights, but the texture was the same silky thickness. Her skin, slightly darker than mine, held a hint of the same olive shade. Our eyes matched perfectly. It was weird that I hadn’t noticed that before. I suppose I wasn’t familiar enough with my own reflection to notice the resemblance. Brown seemed like such a boring color I hadn’t thought there was much variation. But our eyes were a rich warm mahogany color, not light enough to be considered hazel but not too dark to hide the variety of brown hues.
“Look, we have the same eyes.”
Romona’s face in the mirror reflected surprise. “Really, you think so?” She took a tentative step toward the mirror to verify my statement.
“Yeah, definitely! I mean, brown is brown, but if they weren’t on your face I would swear they were mine.”
Romona smiled at that. “Well, that’s funny. I guess we’re eye twins, then.”
“Ha! Yeah, I guess so. Who knew?”
The smile remained on Romona’s face even if it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Feel any better?” she asked.
“Actually, I do.”
“Thought so. You looked like you needed some serious pampering.”
“In that case, I’m glad you can read me so well, because I would never have guessed this was what I needed.”
“Well, it always made you feel better before, so I just figured.”
“Huh? What do you mean by that?”
Romona’s face fell. “I only meant that you seem more relaxed with some girlie stuff every now and then. Like your room, right?”
I was still frowning. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
By the time I made it back to my bed, I was tired but happy, and I fell asleep instantly. The good of the day far outweighed the bad.
Even so, that night I dreamt dark dreams of running from mist.
14
Fight
Loud crashes and the sound of colliding metal assaulted my ears. I picked up the pace and rushed down the hallway, bursting through our gym doors with a loud bang. The room was in shambles. Weapons lay strewn throughout the gym. Practice dummies were destroyed, various equipment was overturned, and in the middle of the room two fighters were locked in furious battle.
Even covered from head to toe in body armor, Logan couldn’t be mistaken. Kaitlin’s long,
lean body and ash-blonde ponytail made her hard to mistake as well. I stood in awe of what I was seeing. Blades crashed in blurred movements. Attacks were diverted and sidestepped with unbelievable precision. It was like watching two powerful animals fight, each matched with speed and agility. It was both beautiful and intimidating.
Watching the two of them spar made me realize how lightly Logan was going on me during training. A bit of familiar jealously towards Kaitlin rose to my throat. Even though Logan outmatched her in weight, her movements looked effortless in their quickness and balance. I swallowed down the envy.
In a blur of movement Logan managed to disarm Kaitlin. She quickly threw her body to the side and rolled out of the way, putting herself within arm’s reach of the weapons wall. She grabbed a weapon and immediately threw a fighting star at Logan. I gasped. Logan just used the side of his blade to deflect the metal, as if swatting a fly away. But Kaitlin had used the attack to divert Logan’s attention and get into a stance to disarm him. The ploy worked, and within seconds Logan’s weapon was also lying on the ground. With a warrior’s cry Kaitlin launched herself at Logan, taking them both to the ground.
“Yeah, Kaitlin! Kick his butt!” someone yelled behind me. Another voice gave an encouraging hoot to the fighters. I turned my head to see that a small crowd had formed.
Logan and Kaitlin ignored the ruckus. With a series of roundhouse kicks Kaitlin pushed Logan back toward the corner. It was a smart move, leaving Logan with fewer options to retaliate.
Just as it seemed Kaitlin had Logan where she wanted, he quickly turned and ran straight at the wall that was boxing him in. Without hesitation he ran a few steps up the wall, pushed off, and flipped backwards over Kaitlin’s head, landing safely on the other side of her. That garnered a round of cheers and shouts from the crowd. Logan swept Kaitlin’s feet out from under her. She landed hard on her back with the wind knocked out of her. Logan was over Kaitlin immediately with his recovered blade, and with a blink it was all over.
Logan’s facemask melted away to reveal a huge grin as he leaned over to give Kaitlin a hand up. When she took his hand she made a great show of trying to take him down with her. Logan laughed and effortlessly hauled Kaitlin to her feet. Her mask disappeared to reveal a matching grin.
