by Julie Hall
“No,” I finally answered. “I honestly don’t see any other options.”
“I feared that might be the case.” There was disappointment in his eyes.
What had I done this time?
I threw my hands in the air and rolled my eyes. “I’d love to be enlightened.”
“Audrey, what do you know of God?”
The question threw me off. Weariness tugged at me as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. The sweat from the gauntlet had long since dried on my skin, but the muscle fatigue still remained. “God? Like in general, or in a specific situation? That’s a pretty broad question.”
“You’re right, it is. But He’s a pretty broad guy, wouldn’t you say?”
“I suppose.”
“You’ve met the Creator of all. Spent time in His presence in fact. Yet you still operate as if He exists separate from your existence. As if He’s an observer rather than an active participant in your day-to-day activities.”
Ouch. He wasn’t wrong. I thought perhaps I knew where he was going with this.
“Despite everything, inside, you still believe He doesn’t care.”
“I’m showing some restraint right now,” I said. “It has to count for something.”
“Yes, you are. But is it because you learned the consequences of your actions, which don’t get me wrong is an important lesson to learn, or because you trust in a Higher Authority?”
I let out a heavy breath. “Can’t it be both?”
“Absolutely—but is it? For you?”
He waited patiently for my answer. A heavy breath escaped my lungs. “Hugo, this is hard.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
I scoffed. He ignored me.
“Audrey, tell me what’s in your heart.” There was a slight note of pleading in his tone. Inspecting the contents of my heart seemed like a really bad idea right now. There was ugliness churning there I didn’t want anyone to see.
I crossed my arms and refused to meet his gaze. “I don’t know what you want from me right now. I’m doing what I’m supposed to. Absolutely nothing.”
“You are never called to do nothing.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“I’m not the one who’s fooled you.”
“It’s a figure of speech.” I uncrossed my arms and shifted my weight back and forth.
“One that is accurate at the moment, for you have been deceived.”
“By who?” I took a step toward him.
“Yourself mostly, but that’s beside the point. Why won’t you tell me what’s on your heart?”
“Because they were forgotten.” I wailed, finally snapping. “I’m supposed to keep my trust in God, and He’s abandoned my family!” My eyes filled with tears of frustration, at all of this, at myself.
Gosh, I was angry.
Whether at Logan or God or circumstances, I always seemed so angry. It was exhausting. Why couldn’t I be better than that? But I wasn’t. “How am I supposed to have faith in a God who’s so unpredictable? I feel totally adrift.”
“Ah, finally, there it is.” There was a strange gleam in Hugo’s eye. Part amusement, part annoyance. “You can’t work through your personal demons, Audrey, until you’re willing to be truthful with yourself. If you’re struggling with your faith, name it. Face it. Don’t bury it.”
“But . . . I’m ashamed. Underneath all this anger, I’m ashamed that I don’t trust God. What does it say about me that my faith is so small?” I answered in a weak voice.
“My dear child, it simply says it’s an area that needs to be worked on. But perhaps more importantly, you need to know what it doesn’t say. It doesn’t say the Creator loves you any less. It doesn’t say He thinks of you any less. It doesn’t say He cares for your situation, circumstances, loved ones, hopes, dreams, or future any less.”
The words struck my heart with peculiar pain. Wasn’t that what I had feared all along? That He didn’t really care.
“How is it you know my heart better than I know it myself?”
“I do have some practice in that particular area.” His secretive smile made another appearance. “When your faith is small, God is always present and reaching out a hand to help. Faith is both a choice and a surrender. You have to choose to believe the God of all works all things for good, and you have to surrender to His will above your own.”
“I’m scared He won’t do things the way I want them to be done.” I hunched and wrapped my arms around myself.
“I can pretty much guarantee that will be the case. But what if your way isn’t the best way?”
“But this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m supposed to be helping people by going down to Earth, by fighting demons. Yet I feel like my wings have been clipped. Why make me a hunter if I can’t even fight for the ones I love? I’m supposed to just sit back and never do anything?” I threw my hands in the air.
“Quite the contrary. You will be called to do a great number of things. In fact, God’s power is made perfect in your weakness. But apart from Him, your deeds are quite worthless. Surrender your will and reach your hand back to His. Accept His help. You have been like a hamster running in a wheel, using up your energy yet never actually getting anywhere.”
I huffed. “If this is some new tough love campaign of yours, I don’t like it. Why are my mentors always comparing me to animals? With Logan it was a dog. Now you’re calling me a hamster. It’s degrading.”
His gaze had never left my face. “This isn’t about what you like. It’s about what you need.” His already impassioned words were amplified by the otherworldly fire that radiated in his eyes.
“But I’ll never be perfect. I’ll never do everything right.” The movement of my hands punctuated my words.
“Exactly my point. Your deeds will never make you perfect. No matter how many good decisions you make, no matter how good your scorecard of right versus wrong, it will never be good enough.”
The crushing weight of despair settled on my chest. What good was any of this, then, if I was never going to get it right?
Hugo’s voice was gentle, yet he was unrelenting. “I’m not trying to shame you, Audrey, but to speak truth into your heart. How effective was your trip to Earth?”
“Counterproductive at best.” I stared at a spot on the wall over his left shoulder. It was as close to meeting his gaze as I could get.
“See, apart from God our deeds are dead. But with Him it’s another story. God can do amazing things, even with faith the size of a mustard seed.”
He’d momentarily lost me. “What does a mustard seed look like?”
A belly laugh followed my question. “Let’s just say it’s really small.” He held up his index finger and thumb, and there was barely a sliver of space between the two. “I believe it’s time you see what God can do with your mustard seed of faith.”
“What do you mean?”
“Audrey, the Creator is incapable of abandoning His own. With that in mind, do you think your family’s predicament is by accident or by design?”
“I know for a fact Satan is gunning for them.”
“Yes, but time and time again God uses Satan’s evil intentions for good.”
Huh. “Well, what can I do about it? I’m not allowed on Earth.”
“Correction. You weren’t allowed. I believe it’s time you showed that bully down there what he’s up against.”
He’d caught me completely, one hundred percent off guard. I stammered for a moment before I managed to get out, “Me?”
“You, with the power of heaven behind you.”
There was a spark of excitement and anticipation in Hugo’s eyes. He reminded me of a parent the moment before his child opens a birthday gift. It struck me as an odd reaction, and I was shocked into silence.
“Go now. Gather your friends and go to your family. I’ll make sure you have the clearance you need.”
19
When Darkness Descends
I materialize
d to the right of the small line of hunters who stood their ground within the boundary line of my parents’ property. Covered from head to toe in body armor, swords drawn against the overwhelming force that blackened the already darkening day, they waited.
Dusk was upon us.
I drew my own weapon, the sudden brightness drawing the attention of my fellow warriors. With all eyes on me, one hunter broke away from the rest. Even in the low light I would recognize his form and movements anywhere. His hurried steps brought him to me in mere moments. His blue eyes sparked with emotion.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Logan scanned the sea of demons surrounding the property. “For a number of obvious reasons.”
“Hugo sent me,” I said. I held his gaze and waited. “I have orders.”
Alrik had not been exaggerating. The black bodies of the demons stretched down the street and along the sides of the property. They were not only littered across the street, but on the neighbors’ properties as well. In their yards, on their houses, some even perched in trees.
The demons’ numbers had grown. Several hundred wasn’t even a conservative estimate. I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear it was closer to a thousand. Up against only . . . I looked to my left and counted—eight hunters, including me. Why so few? What was heaven thinking, sending so few fighters down? If it came to it, this wouldn’t be a fight. It would be a slaughter.
“Audrey, please.” Logan’s eyes begged me to leave.
“You need every hand you can get.”
“No. We’re not planning to engage in a fight. The odds are too overwhelming. We’re just holding the line. This isn’t meant to be your fight. You shouldn’t be here,” he repeated.
My face softened as I took in his concern. “Logan, this isn’t any of our fight. We both know there’s no way we could subdue this much evil. This is out of all of our hands. We have to trust it’s in Someone else’s much more capable ones.” My eyes skimmed the area around us. “Shoot,” I said softly to myself. “I shouldn’t have left him behind. We need Battle Bear.”
Logan’s brows pinched. “Battle Bear?”
“Yeah, you know. Grrrrrr!” I pulled my lips back from my teeth and bent my fingers, slashing them through the air as if they were claws.
Logan blinked, and then the left corner of his mouth quirked ever so slightly.
“Stop it.” My fist landed on my hips.
“What?”
“This is not cute.”
He pressed his lips together tightly.
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I’m not being cute.” I stomped my foot. I had a feeling I might not be helping my case.
“You’re right.” He was losing the battle with his lips. “Definitely not adorable at all. Not a bit. Really quite unattractive, actually. I think you need to show me that claw imitation again, though, so I know what you’re talking about.”
I threw my hands in the air. “If you knew they were claws, I don’t need to show to you again. Geez, I cannot believe you’re joking at a time like this. Hell is quite literally breaking loose around us!”
His blue eyes locked with my brown ones, and I watched the humor leak from his face. After several heartbeats he nodded, reached forward to grab my hand, and led me to the others in our small defense. He released his hold on me when we reached the line.
I checked the faces of the other hunters. There were no welcoming smiles, only a palpable level of anxiety. I expected and recognized Kevin, Kaitlin, and Romona. The three other hunters were only vaguely familiar to me. They displayed the usual muscular build of a typical hunter. Rather than exchange names, we only nodded a brisk greeting to each other.
“Why are the demons so silent?” I asked.
It was Romona who answered. “We’re not sure. I’ve never seen them behave this way. Almost sedate. It seems like they are waiting for something, but demons aren’t known for their patience.”
I knew what she meant. Even during the battle at the school several months back, the demons circling the air were so loud before they attacked that a battalion of angels was tasked to block out their noise.
Somehow, the silence was more frightening.
“Since they can’t get through the barrier, do we have any idea why so many are congregated here?” I asked.
“Theories only,” Logan answered. “And not any good ones. We can only assume they’re waiting for someone to leave, but from what we can tell, your parents and brother seem to be in for the evening.” He jutted his chin toward the house. “They’re eating dinner now, and we heard James say he was staying in tonight to finish a paper. Your parents are working on taxes.”
I chewed a lip. Maybe the horde of demons was Satan’s way of posturing? I said as much. Logan looked thoughtful.
“He said he wanted to teach me a lesson about his power. Maybe this is his way of doing that. At the very least we know he wants to scare me.”
“But if that’s the case, where is he?”
I wasn’t sure what he meant. “How do you figure?”
“If this was about intimidation alone, I’d think he’d be here to try to force your hand again. Something is off. We’re missing something.”
The sun kissed the horizon as he spoke. Shadows lengthened around the neighborhood. I vaguely wondered if any of the living could feel the overwhelming presence of evil in the atmosphere. Thanks to my internal demon-radar, it was as if a suffocating blanket was thrown over my head. I forced myself to ignore the sensation.
“Should we just—” Romona started, but she was cut off by a shrill scream from the direction of my parents’ house. My insides froze. I turned quickly enough to see my mother drop her phone and crumple like a sheet of paper.
I sprinted to the bay window, heart pounding. When I reached it, I put both hands on the glass. Dad talked loud enough I just made out his words. He asked her what was wrong, but Mom was sobbing too hard to get anything out. James had abandoned his place at the table and paced behind the two of them.
With infinite tenderness, my dad took my mom’s face between his hands and kissed her forehead. “What’s happened?” he asked again.
“It’s Dad,” she wailed between sobs. “He had a stroke . . . while driving.” Tears streamed down her face. James stood frozen as he listened. His face was as white as a ghost. “He ran into another car.”
I wanted to stop the words from coming out of her mouth, but I couldn’t.
“It was a young family. They’re not sure who is going to make it.”
A loud gasp wrenched my attention away from my parents. Romona was behind me, eyes impossibly large and standing unnaturally still except for her chest, which moved rapidly up and down. She would hyperventilate if she didn’t calm down.
“No,” she whispered, bringing a shaking hand to her lips. “Not Garrett.”
My grandfather on my mother’s side had been Romona’s husband in life. Although I was sure she was anxious for him to join her in the afterlife someday, we were still hardwired to want our loved ones to live out a long and happy life on Earth. The possibility of lives lost at his hand, even accidentally, was horrific to consider.
“Romona,” I began, but paused when the start of piercing noises from the horde surrounding us attacked my eardrums.
As if the demons woke from a dream, the night shadows undulated with the movement of their bodies. Their excited shrieks built in frequency, punching holes in the silence. Five hunters still remained on the property line, facing adversaries blind to their presence.
Logan stood in the middle of the yard, looking between the drama playing out in the house and the awakening mass of demons. His expression didn’t divulge the obvious tension in his body.
“I just can’t take any more tragedy!” My mother’s voice rose above the swelling noise. Her plea was desperate: “Where is our God?”
Over Logan’s shoulder, the final sliver of sun dip behind the horizon. As if a gunshot signaled the star
t of a race, demons tore toward the property line and beat their twisted forms against the invisible shield that held them at bay.
One of the hunters on the front line stepped back and stumbled over his feet. I think it was Kevin. Romona and Logan whipped their attention to the demons. At once we all rushed to the invisible barrier. Loud screeches drew our attention overhead as demons dive-bombed the top of the protective dome around my parents’ house.
“What’s going on?” I screamed to be heard over the noise.
“They’re trying to break through the barrier!” Logan answered, eyes still fixed on the dark shapes above.
“Is that even possible?” I asked.
Logan’s eyes finally met my own. “The prayers and faith of your family are what put this barrier up.”
Romona finished what he left unsaid. “Their lack of faith could theoretically take it down.” Her eyes weren’t fixed on the demons, but rather on the remnants of my family still visible through the bay window. “The demons must have been waiting for that call.”
Her words sent ice to my heart. Satan orchestrated all of this. Hugo’s words about faith in the Creator were all I had to hold on to, because if the demons did manage to break through the shield, it would take an unimaginable amount of power for eight hunters to protect the people within that house. I wasn’t sure we had access to power like that.
Father, I called out silently. Where are You? We need You now.
A sound like shattered glass rent the night air. I spun toward the house expecting to see a smashed window, but everything was intact.
Then came the shout from a hunter I didn’t know. “They’re through! Arm yourselves!”
No!
Turning back to the small group of hunters, there was an obvious breach in the protective barrier. Rather than being uniformly transparent, the barrier flickered as if light was bouncing off glass. A demon tumbled into the opening and battled with Kevin and one other hunter. The rest of the demons were either trying to break holes at other points, or clamoring to get past the existing jagged opening.
