by Julie Hall
My stomach’s revolt must have shown on my face because she stopped short and sent me a confused look, brows scrunched and upper lip pulled north.
“Um, are you feeling alright there, babe?” Yep, she definitely didn’t remember my name.
I made an attempt to laugh it off. Like I was going to let an upset stomach ruin my night. “Yeah, I’m totally—” I couldn’t even make it through the sentence before vomit spewed from my mouth, as if someone had forcefully squeezed my stomach, causing the alcohol mixed with bits of food to project right onto the brunette and her pristine white, barely-there bikini. It slid down all her ample curves. Suddenly, they weren’t as attractive as they’d been a minute before.
We both stood motionless for a beat before the girl began to scream in disgust. She fled the room, and I ran for the door that I prayed would lead me to the bathroom.
It was the bathroom. Finally, something was going right. Or as right as it could, because I continued to vomit and heave into the porcelain toilet for at least another fifteen minutes until nothing else came up.
Perhaps I should have been embarrassed by what had just happened, but after the alcohol was ejected from my body—nothing like a good puke to sober a guy up—I realized more than anything, I was relieved. And that was all sorts of backwards.
I knew I was too messed up to drive, so after I stopped dry heaving I drank as much water from the tap as I could keep down, and stumbled out of Jace’s house and onto the beach. The one place I always felt at home. I walked a short distance before dropping to the damp sand, hanging my head between my arms.
I’d changed. I was still changing. And I was finally ready to let go.
Author Commentary: Chapter 3
JulieHallAuthor.com/logan-3
Chapter 4
“You’re actually here!” Kaitlin’s scream slapped me in the face the moment I opened the car door. I’d barely unfolded my long legs from the bucket seat of Reeve’s sports car to stand to my full height before a blonde bundle of energy slammed into me.
My back hit the side of the car as I absorbed the impact. Thank goodness, I’d positioned myself a little to the side or we both would have fallen back inside the car. She hadn’t even given me the chance to close my door.
“Hey, Kaitlin,” I chuckled as I squeezed her and then returned her to her feet, “It’s good to see you too.”
The smile on her face couldn’t have been brighter. It was so wide I was pretty sure she was showing off a few molars at the moment.
“Let me check.” She tilted her head to the side and twisted it back and forth as she ran her over-exaggerated gaze from head to toe and back again, bobbing up and down as she went. One of her eyes was closed and the other was squinted as if she was examining me. Something about the way she moved reminded me of a baboon.
“Cut that out.” I forced her to stop and shot her an annoyed look.
“Yep, there’s definitely something different about you.” Her mega-watt smile was back.
“Give me a break.” I rolled my eyes at Kaitlin. That night on the beach, several weeks ago, after I’d vomited on the chick I was looking to score with—whose name I still didn’t recall—something had happened. I’d finally let go of my old life and put my trust in someone greater than myself. I’d called—perhaps mistakenly—Kaitlin the next day to tell her what had happened. There was lots of squealing involved on her side of the phone.
It’s not as if everything had changed overnight, but some things had. That itchy restlessness I’d been struggling with for months had finally quieted. And I had something I didn’t before—hope.
“Welcome to the club, little brother.”
“Little?” I arched a brow and tilted my head to look down. It wasn’t as if Kaitlin was short, she was actually quite tall . . . for a girl. But my six-three height gave me at least four or five inches on her.
“Yep, my birthday is two months before yours. That makes you the little sibling.”
“If you say so.”
“What club?” Reeve asked. He was a buddy from high school who’d given me a lift that evening. His parents had just bought him a new Camaro Z28 for having made it through his first few months of college without being kicked out, and he was looking to show it off tonight.
“Nothing,” I answered, “Ignore the annoying blonde in front of me. She just likes to hear herself talk.”
“Hey! That’s not true,” She turned her attention to Reeve with a gleam in her eye that caused an involuntary groan to crawl up my chest. She was about to say something to embarrass me. I could feel it. “I’ll have you know Logan has some pretty big news. A few weeks ago—”
I slapped my hand over her mouth, stopping whatever words were trying to make their way out of that devious head of hers. I did a quick check of her clothes to make sure I wouldn’t be causing any indecent exposure, bent Kaitlin under my arm and picked her up, removing the hand from her mouth to keep a strong grip on her while I strode towards the group of our high school friends.
“Logan Barron London, you put me down right now.”
Uh-oh, she’d just used my full name. Was that supposed to be intimidating?
I chuckled.
“Listen up, you. I know some defensive skills that could take away your ability to have kids someday. You drop me right now!”
Ouch.
An involuntary wince overtook my body, wiping the cocky grin from my face. You don’t joke about things like that. If that was how she wanted to play it, fine.
“You want to be dropped? No problem.”
I released my hold on a squirming Kaitlin, making sure I crouched so that her fall to the sand wasn’t far, and listened as she sputtered when the surf rode up the shore and knocked into her.
“Logan!”
I turned and continued walking backwards. A full-on belly-laugh burst free. It started in my gut then moved up to my chest. She scurried out of the water’s path on her hands and knees. The glare she shot me promised retribution. I didn’t doubt for a second that one day I’d be paying for that sin.
When she finally got to her feet, the left half of her body was covered in wet sand and her once perfectly straightened hair was a tangled mess. She assessed her condition as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened.
Another bark of laughter from me drew her attention.
The smile she shot me was nothing short of chilling. It said she already had a plan of retaliation brewing in her head. That look alone should have given me cause for pause, but I just laughed louder and waved her over.
“Come on, Kaitlin. You’re missing all the fun.”
She stuck her tongue out at me in the perfect sibling gesture before jogging to catch up, and then punching me in the arm when she had.
“That was sneaky. You know I’m gonna get you back for that.”
“Oh yes, I’m aware. Now let’s go say hi to all of our old classmates.”
“You’re lucky there’s no one here I’m looking to impress.” She brought a hand up to the soggy side of her head and tried to finger comb through her now-matted hair.
“Hey, I just did you a favor.”
“Oh, yeah? How do you figure?”
“The lucky guy who ends up with you should think you’re beautiful even at your worst.”
She returned the eye roll I gave her earlier.
“Okay, Mom. Thanks.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice.
“Mom? I can honestly say that’s the first time anyone has called me that.” I curled my upper lip, “Yuck. Hopefully the last as well.”
“Oh, new nickname for you. I like!” Kaitlin clapped with glee.
“Hey look, Logan’s here!” someone yelled, cutting off our conversation, “The party has finally arrived.” A round of cheers went up from the rather large group around us.
Apparently, quite a few of my old classmates were trying to relive their high school glory days. And even though I’d been more subdued in my attendance and participation of parties th
ose last few months of school, my reputation as a partier was still locked down.
Well, I thought to myself, this ought to be an interesting experience.
I kept a bottle of water in my hand the entire night to keep people from shoving red solo cups at me. It helped a little, but it still seemed like every third person was trying to get me to drink that evening. Especially the girls. Something about me not partaking in recreational drinking seemed to make people nervous.
I’d gotten more than one strange look each time I’d declined an invitation, whether it was for a drink or something more. At one point in the night I’d happened to accidentally catch Rachel’s eye, the girl I’d turned down all those months ago. Whoops! She quickly looked the other way and disappeared into a group of her friends. What might have been a twinge of regret pinched my chest. Not regret for having turned her down, but for having caused her embarrassment in the process.
I’d done my fair share of embarrassing things in a drunken haze—something I hoped was in my past—but I knew it was different for girls. Personally, I’d just groaned about it the next morning and then pretty much forgot it ever happened. Girls seemed to take these types of things harder. It was somewhat of a mystery to me, but I guess there were some areas in which we truly were different.
I’d never cared before what a girl might have felt like after making a fool of herself, but now I did. That alone was proof of the change happening within me. I steered clear of her for the rest of the night. Talking with me would not lessen her embarrassment, and I also wasn’t looking for a repeat of that evening.
I used to call most of the people around me friends, but in reality, they were more like acquaintances. When all you had in common with someone was that you liked to party together, you weren’t truly friends. I hadn’t seen the difference before, but I did now.
Everyone wanted to know what it was like to be a pro-surfer. I’d been an excellent surfer in high school, but skipping college to go straight pro was something of a novelty. The guys wanted to know about all the perks, and they didn’t mean the endorsements. They wanted the nitty-gritty details on the girls and parties. Something I was uncomfortable talking about.
As the night went on, the girls got bolder and sloppier in their pursuit of me, some latching themselves on to my arms as they tried to hold a conversation with me even as they slurred their words. So not attractive.
“Hey, Mr. Popular.” Kaitlin slid up next to me body-checking one of the girls away. I pretended not to notice.
“Hey, yourself. Where’ve you been the whole night?” I’d noticed Kaitlin had taken up my approach and clutched a half-full water bottle with the cap secured.
She waved her hand around indicating a couple of different groups. “Oh, you know, just catching up with people.” There was a beat of silence between the both of us as we looked upon the group. Part of it all, yet somehow not. “It’s different now, isn’t it?” she finally asked.
“Yeah, it is. Being the life of the party doesn’t seem as interesting, or as important, as it once was.”
She nodded, her eyes still fixed on everything and nothing in front of us. She mumbled something under her breath.
“What was that?”
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. “Oh, nothing. I just said ‘in the world, but not of it.’ Something I’ve been thinking about lately.”
I’d heard that before. Read it for myself. I knew what she was talking about, and it perfectly described our situation at that moment.
“I know what you mean.”
She turned her head to me and smiled. A genuine smile of friendship. And so I did what any good friend-brother would do . . . snaked my arm around her neck, pulled her into my side, fisted my hand and ran it back and forth on her head messing her hair up even further.
“Argh, you are so annoying sometimes.” She said it with a laugh in her voice—so I knew she wasn’t really mad at me—and wriggled from my grasp. “Do you realize that?”
“I am very aware,” I answered solemnly, “I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”
“Yes, you are.” She crossed her arms over her chest in what was supposed to be a disgruntled pose, but she had a horrible poker face.
The party had been going on long enough that people were finally beginning to ignore me. I breathed a sigh of relief. This just wasn’t my scene anymore.
“So, Mr. Deep Thinker,” Kaitlin started.
I pointed a finger at my chest. “Me? Deep? Never.”
One side of her lips curled up in a smirk, “You can’t fool me, Logan. I know there’s more to you than your pretty face.”
“Do not let anyone hear you say that,” I said swiftly glancing around in mock frustration to see if anyone had heard, “I have a rep to uphold.”
Her laugh was loud, but so were the festivities around us, so no one turned to look. “Oh yeah, I can tell that you’re really concerned with upholding your old rep.” She nodded down at the water in my hand.
“What can I say? I’ve turned over a new leaf.”
“Which is exactly what I want to talk about. So, tell me what’s really been going on these last few months?”
I turned weary eyes to her. There had been a lot of ups and downs during that time. Definitely decisions I wasn’t proud of, but also some stuff I needed to talk to someone about.
Kaitlin’s face was filled with anticipation. As if she’d been waiting to have this conversation for a while now. And in hindsight, I could see that she had.
“There was a man,” I began, “and his sacrifice for all of us is what made all the difference.”
Time flew by, and by some miracle, Kaitlin and I weren’t interrupted. We’d talked about everything. I told her all about what my time as a pro-surfer had really been like.
All the details, leaving very little out.
I had expected her to look at me, eyes full of condemnation, but that never happened. Kaitlin had too big of a heart for that.
She shared about the changes happening in her life too, and when they had really started, which was far before she’d ever mentioned anything to me.
We were so engrossed in our own conversation that we didn’t realize the party had died down and we were some of the only people left. By the time we had noticed, Kaitlin thought to check her phone.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?” I asked.
“Ugh, Jessie. She left me here to go ‘hang out’ with Ryan.” Kaitlin used her fingers to mark the quotes around ‘hang out’. I didn’t need an explanation of what that meant. “She said she’s had too much to drink and let him take her home. How annoying. If she’d just left her keys with me I could have driven her car home.”
Stuff like that happened all the time, but I could still understand Kaitlin’s frustration. In fact, who knows if my ride was even still here? Time to go look around I guess.
“Come on, let’s go see if Reeve ditched us, too.”
We walked around for a few minutes before we found him quite literally tangled up with Rachel. I tilted my head to the side as I watched the show, feeling a little bit like a creeper for staring, but his tongue had to be halfway down her throat and it was like a train-wreck—I couldn’t look away. That was some serious skill right there, just not the type you wanted to actually have.
“Logan,” Kaitlin swatted my arm, “break them up or something.”
I gestured towards the sand-covered couple. “I’m not breaking that up. I’m even sorry we went looking for him. That right there, is something I can never un-see.”
Kaitlin huffed her irritation and then walked up to the couple and kicked Reeve’s shoe. It didn’t deter him from his current course of action, which I’m pretty sure was a hybrid between CPR and making-out. Kaitlin kicked the bottom of his sandal one last time with similar non-results.
Apparently fed up with the spectacle, she reached down and grabbed a handful of sand and chucked it at them and then yelled, “Hey, dork, gimme
your keys so we can get home.”
I laughed out loud at Reeve’s shocked face when he came up for air. It bellowed out of me in waves. What tempered my amusement was Rachel’s look of mortification when she realized both Kaitlin and I had been privy to her. . . ah . . . moment with him. For her sake, I forced myself back under control.
“Did you just throw sand on us?” Reeve brushed some of the granules off his shirt, but whether it was from Kaitlin tossing it on them, or them rolling around in it, who really knew.
“Yep, sure did. Now hand over your keys, lover boy. Logan and I want to head home. And we all know with his ugly face he needs all the beauty sleep he can get.” She threw a smile over her shoulder at me, as if to say, ‘Did you hear what I just said about you?’ Guess she didn’t get the memo that guys aren’t as sensitive about their looks as girls.
“Yeah, that’s right,” I chimed in and took the wind out of Kaitlin’s sails, “I need a lot of beauty rest. So, let me have them. You can come pick your car up at my place tomorrow.”
“No way, man. That’s my baby. No one drives her but me.”
This was getting annoying. “Come on, dude. We live down the street from each other. You can walk over to pick it up in the morning.”
He got to his feet. His hands and jaw clenched. It was obvious he was annoyed, but I wasn’t sure if it was from us insisting we drive his new baby, or having interrupted his time with Rachel. I was too tired to care.
“I said no one drives her but me.” Well, I guess that answered that question. He was definitely more concerned about his car than the girl he was with. I just hoped Rachel saw his behavior for what it was and used it as an excuse to leave his sorry butt behind.
“Hey, why don’t you drop them off and then you and I can head somewhere together?” she suggested.
I ran a hand down my face. Nope. Lesson not learned.
He finally glanced at Rachel. “Well, yeah, I guess I can do that,” he pointed a finger back at me, “but I’m just driving to your house and then you can drop her off yourself.” I assumed he was talking about Kaitlin.
