by Julie Hall
Definitely more uncomfortable than endearing. I pushed back a little to get a breath of air.
“I’m so sorry,” Logan went on. “I’m just not going to lose you.”
His grip tightened, and my heart sank . . . because he was going to lose me.
I cleared my throat. “Hey, why don’t we take care of that hand of yours? Then maybe we can sit down and have a talk?” I pushed gently against his chest again, and this time he let me go and let me lead him over to the kitchen sink where I washed the blood off.
As I held his hand over the sink, the red swirling down the drain wasn’t what sent my heart pounding—the fact that hardly anything filtered through from the empathy link was what freaked me out. Logan looked over my shoulder at nothing while I worked. The worst hadn’t even happened yet, and the man I loved was already turning into a shell of himself.
I secured the bandage around Logan’s hand. He could get it fixed easily at the Healing Center in the morning; tonight we had more pressing matters. I led him back to the couch, took his face in both hands, and forced his attention. Still, all that came through the empathy link was a numbing void. What was happening?
“Talk to me,” I demanded. Finally a pinprick of emotion leaked though. Fear. But he locked it up quickly and gently returned my hands to my lap, pulling his away. He clearly didn’t want to be touched right now.
Okay, I could respect that. I didn’t like it, but I could respect it. Sometimes emotions were so overwhelming that the thought of sharing them with someone else added to the burden. I wished he’d let me bear some of his pain, but that wasn’t natural for Logan, and perhaps we just weren’t there yet in our relationship.
Pain twinged in my chest as I realized we’d never have time to “get there.”
“Really, Audrey, it’s nothing. You know I’m just trying to find a way for us to stay together. I’m sure I’ll figure something—”
“Don’t lie to me, Logan.” My voice was level, but his eyes widened. “And perhaps more importantly, don’t lie to yourself.”
“But, Audrey—”
I shook my head. “How much more time are you going to waste?”
He opened his mouth to answer, but I wouldn’t let him proceed.
“I know you talked to Morgan about me. You can talk to whomever you want, you can search through the ancient texts, try to bribe angels, or whatever it is you do every day, but the facts aren’t going to change. A price has to be paid for what’s been done.”
Logan shot to his feet. “Then I’ll pay it instead.”
I stood as well and craned my neck to look into his eyes. That was exactly what I was afraid of. “No. You stop whatever you’re doing right now. I’m begging you. Begging you to stop and just be with me, here, now, while we can. This is my mistake. This is my price to pay.”
“You wouldn’t have even been in Hell if not for me. If I hadn’t kissed you, you could have stayed safely in this realm. That would have been better.”
I sucked in a lungful of air, suddenly angry. “There are so many things wrong with that, I don’t even know where to start.” A tendril of hair turned red. I batted it out of my way. “First, do you believe if we weren’t bonded I would have left you in Hell to rot? Second, Satan was using you to get to me the whole time, so I was the reason you were down there to begin with. Third, you’re not the one who literally stabbed the Son of God. I get that lucky title all to myself, and fourth . . . fourth . . . if you’re saying you regret kissing me in the first place, I will hate you forever.”
I poked his chest on the last weak point of my argument. I’d backed Logan up to the wall without even realizing it. He was breathing hard, jaw grinding. But I was breathing harder. For me, anger was probably a little too quick to mingle with fear.
But I wasn’t the only one who was angry. “First,” he bit out and took a step forward, forcing me to take one back, “if you think there is anything short of eternal damnation that would make me regret bonding us, then I obviously haven’t done a good enough job of expressing my feelings for you—something I will fix the minute we’re done with this ridiculous argument.”
My thoughts ran away from me before I could beat them into submission, and my entire body flushed. But Logan wasn’t done.
“Second, bonded or not, I would rather you left me in that den of horrors for a lifetime than watch you not only get taken from me but also spend an eternity with a similar fate.
“Third, I will find a way out of this. Even if you’ve already given up, I will never give up on you. And fourth”—He backed me up until I bumped into the couch, lost my balance, and sat down. Leaning in he put his hands on either side of my head—“we both know there is no scenario in which you would hate me forever.”
A cocky grin appeared on his mouth that I both wanted to slap off and smother with a kiss. Vexing. He narrowed his eyes at me, practically daring me to do either.
“Well—”
I wasn’t sure what my rebuttal was going to be, but it didn’t matter because Logan crushed his lips to mine before I could get another word out. Whatever was going to escape my mouth was swallowed by his, and like every other time we’d come together like this, rational thought flitted right out of my brain.
He had skills. Mad-crazy, mind-boggling kissing skills. So good, in fact, I had no idea whose emotions belonged to whom as his mouth pressed against mine time and time again. Anger, fear, love, devotion, and desire all swirled into a tornado of feelings that were impossible to segregate. But who had time for sorting out feelings when they were kissing the love of their life? Certainly not me.
Logan pulled back, and like always, I mindlessly protested and leaned forward. He chuckled at my response. This was getting embarrassing.
When the fog cleared from my brain, we were both staring into each other’s clear eyes. He uttered one word before diving in for a second helping.
“Mine.”
It branded my heart and my soul. I knew that whatever lay ahead, we were going to face it together.
I opened my eyes and then slammed them closed again against the brightness streaming through Logan’s large front window. I went to rub my face, but my arms were trapped.
Huh?
I looked down. A tanned, toned forearm was not only draped across my waist, but pinning my left arm in place. My other arm was somewhere above eye level. Whatever pillowed my head radiated heat and was oddly lumpy. My right hand was also really warm. I craned my neck to see the traitorous hand clasping Logan’s.
Shoot!
How did I end up curled into him on his couch? I remembered a kiss, and that was about it. Did I pass out from lack of oxygen? It would have been worth it.
Whatever the reason, this was still an embarrassing situation. What if I drooled in my sleep? What if the weight of my head had caused his arm to go numb and he was too polite to shove me off? Why hadn’t he woke me up and sent me home?
I mentally slapped myself. Focus! I needed to figure out how was I going to discreetly get off this couch. I shimmied my way toward the edge, ready to slide off the make-shift bed, when Logan made a sleepy sound and used the arm around my waist to haul me more firmly against him.
Ahh. Double shoot!
I tried to shimmy away again only to be hauled back a second time. But this time, a bolt of amusement shot through the empathy link.
I gritted my teeth and swatted at his hands. His arm was definitely higher now than the first time he’d pulled me back. Boys. My body shook with the rumble of Logan’s laughter. I pried his heavy arm away and rolled off the couch . . . straight onto the ground with a resounding thump. Logan’s chuckles turned into full-blown laughs.
I rubbed my hip.
“You’re awful. You know that, right?” I called up to him.
His head appeared right above mine, and I yelped.
“We both know you don’t believe that.”
“You know nothing,” I snipped back.
“I know enough.” He wiggle
d his eyebrows.
I put my hand on his face and pushed.
“Pig,” I said under my breath as I got to my feet and headed to the bathroom. I needed a toothbrush, STAT.
His laughs followed me down the hall, and although I was mildly annoyed, hearing him happy brought a secret smile to my face.
The grin stayed in place until I closed the bathroom door and turned to look at myself in the mirror . . . then screamed.
There was a thud down the hall, and then seconds later the bathroom door burst open. Logan was fully alert, all traces of humor washed away.
“What are you doing?” I yelled. “I could have been peeing in here.”
His brow furrowed. “You screamed.”
“Yeah, ‘cause of this.” I pointed a finger at my head.
Logan’s features relaxed, and his eyes twinkled. He swept a hand down his face until he reached his mouth and covered it.
“Are you laughing at me?”
He shook his head, hand still over his mouth.
I pointed at the door. “Out.”
He nodded once and left. As soon as the door clicked shut, I heard his bellows of laughter.
“I can hear you,” I shouted.
“I know,” he yelled back.
Shaking my head, I turned to the mirror. My hair looked like a birdie had made a nest in it, left, and then a rat had decided he wanted to give it a go. And the colors closely resembled Rainbow Brite’s magical horse’s mane.
I rubbed my eyes then pinched my nose.
“I think you’re adorable,” Logan yelled from somewhere in the house. Less to make me feel better and more to annoy me.
Jerk. This mess I called hair was at least eighty percent his fault. If he hadn’t run his hands through it so many times yesterday evening, it wouldn’t be this crazy.
My cheeks warmed at the thought, and I watched all the red lighten to magenta.
Maybe I wasn’t as mad about that part as I was telling myself.
I shut my eyes and materialized a brush. Time to get to work. This nest wasn’t going to fix itself. Over an hour later, I emerged from Logan’s bathroom. I’d taken the opportunity to shower and change into fresh clothes as well as brush my teeth and fix my hair. The look on Logan’s face when I sat down at the kitchen counter was worth the extra effort. I may have applied a little makeup as well. But he didn’t need to know that.
He paused from making us breakfast. “Wow, you look amazing.”
I cocked my head. “You mean I didn’t look amazing when I woke up this morning?”
“Oh, you looked amazing all right. Just a different type of amazing.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
He winked. “You do realize that is in no way a turn-off to me.”
When he turned back to the stove, I turned my hair brown again.
“Should we talk about last night?”
His shoulders tensed for a moment before he forced them to relax. “Talk, or reenact?”
Stupid hair, stay brown.
“Logan, you know what I mean. Talk about the big stuff we brought up before all the, you know, other stuff happened.”
Brown, brown, brown.
Logan scooped something out of the pan in front of him and set the fluffy concoctions on two plates. He turned and put them down on the island then walked around it to take a seat next to me.
I looked down and smiled. He’d made me an omelet.
“Is this the only thing you know how to cook?” I asked.
He smiled back. “No, but I was feeling a little nostalgic today.”
“Nostalgic about hiding out in a bunker in my dad’s tool shed?”
“Something like that.” His smile widened. “Eat up.”
I dug my fork into the fluffy eggs already remembering how delicious they’d been last time.
“Audrey.”
I stopped with my utensil mid-air, my mouth already half open. Logan reached over and steered the food home. He continued when I started to chew.
“I’ve considered what you said last night, and I see your point. I’ve been running myself like crazy these past few days. I’ve been a man obsessed, but I haven’t considered what you need from me right now. So as long as you can accept that, I’m not giving up hope; I want to spend more time together. With or without this blood price hanging over our heads.”
I went to interrupt him, but he silenced me with a tilted head and raised eyebrows, then continued. “It is our heads, not yours. We’re in this together. But regardless of anything else going on, we should be together now.”
I nodded my agreement.
“Great.” He smiled broadly and then shoveled his omelet into his mouth, finishing his meal before I’d even gotten through half of mine. “Okay, so I gotta head out for a bit.”
I started choking on my bite of egg. Logan slapped my back until the chunk was dislodged.
“What?” I croaked. “You just said we were going to spend time together until . . . well until we can’t anymore.”
“Yep. You’re absolutely right.” He stood and walked around the island to set his plate in the sink.
I watched him with wide eyes. He came back around and quickly kissed my forehead, the touch too brief to pick up much from the empathy link. I had a feeling that was the point.
“I’ll be back soon. I promise. I need to handle a couple of things, and then the day is ours.”
With that, he walked around the corner and out of view. He was really leaving me. What was happening?
The front door opened. I heard some muted shuffling, and then Logan yelled back to me, “Audrey, you have a guest to keep you company until I get back,” and then the front door closed.
This was surreal.
A soft pitter-patter of footsteps echoed off Logan’s wood floor before Bear appeared. I shoved a huge bite of omelet in my mouth and jumped off the stool.
“Hey, buddy. It’s good to see you.”
He sat on his haunches, and I knelt on the floor in front of him while he raised one of his overgrown paws and put it on my shoulder. I hugged my old friend. His chin came down on my opposite shoulder, and his furry arm kept me anchored to his warm body. I smiled into his fur, soaking in the comfort only Bear could give. He was a good boy. I was going to miss him.
It wasn’t long before wetness coated my cheeks. As if he knew the reason for my sadness, he adjusted his chin so that I was more securely pressed against his warmth.
I’m not sure how long we sat like that, but when I finally pulled away, Bear rewarded me with a giant lick up the side of my face.
Gross. I could have done without that.
As if sensing my thoughts, he licked the other side before I could stop him.
“Thanks for cleaning off those tears, buddy.”
His tongue lolled out in a doggy smile. Grabbing my unfinished plate off the counter, I set the food on the ground for him to enjoy. While he was happily munching away, I went and washed my face off. So much for the makeup I’d put on this morning. Logan had hardly even stayed around to appreciate the effort.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
“What’s going on?” I asked myself.
Giving my head one good shake, I exited the bathroom in search of Bear. He was on the living room floor, wiggling around on his back, mouth open and tongue hanging out the side.
With a grin, I dropped to my knees to wrestle with the beast. He weighed as much as I did, so we were evenly matched. I laid my arms on the ground and put my tush in the air, moving it back and forth to mimic Bear’s wagging tail.
“Whatcha got, old friend?” I playfully taunted.
He jumped from side to side before assuming the same position as me. Each of us waiting for the other to make the first move.
The front door opened and then slammed shut. I craned my neck to see Logan leaning casually against the entrance, a wicked smile on his face and his head tilted to the side. And he wasn’t looking at my face.
�
�Hey there.” I plopped down and turned so I was facing him. “Stop staring at—”
“Your lovely smile?”
“Haha.”
“Please don’t stop on my account. I was enjoying the show.”
“When did you become such a guy?”
His eyebrows shot up, and faster than I was able to track, he was on me, pressing me back into the plush rug. I was shocked, but I can’t say I minded. Bear jumped around us, barking in intervals, happy to be playing a new game.
“Audrey, my love.” Logan’s voice was quiet, but its timbre had deepened. “What could I have possibly done to lull you into the false belief that I am anything other than one hundred percent red-blooded male?”
“Not this for starters.” Were my words a little breathy? If so, I’m sure the temporary lung hiccup was just because I wasn’t able to get in enough oxygen. Not because anything he said was affecting me.
Liar.
Logan chuckled and pulled me to my feet, his amusement obvious through the empathy link.
Tease, I mentally shot at him.
Logan’s eyes widened, and he took a step back. “Did you just call me a tease?”
I slapped a hand over my mouth. “Did I say that out loud?”
“No. No you didn’t.”
We both blinked at each other.
“Then how did you know that?”
“I heard it. Here.” He tapped his head.
“Is that normal?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You try it,” I said.
“Well, what did you do?”
“I don’t know. I literally just thought the word at you.”
He shrugged. “Worth a try I guess.”
A moment later, his voice echoed in my head. I was prepared to hear something, but I still stumbled back and landed on my backside.
“Did you just say I was hot stuff?” My face mirrored Logan’s, wide eyed and open mouthed.
“You really heard that?”
