by Eric Vall
“I wish,” I admitted as Superbia walked over and placed a glowing gold hand on my chest. “He put up one Hell of a fight, and I was starting to feel myself wear down. So, I banished him back to Hell with a little help from that spell I used the first time I fought Azazel.”
“So, the King of the Eighth Circle still lives?” Metatron added.
“Unfortunately,” I growled as I felt my chest wound scab over and then fade away. “But he’s not Earth Realm’s problem anymore.”
“Yeah,” Todd said with a coy nod. “Now that Brundlefly’s been permabanned from Earth and all his little lackeys are dead, he’s got next to no influence up here, bro. He’s basically shootin’ blanks.”
Metatron raised an eyebrow at the imp and then turned to Raphael.
“You’ll get used to his antics eventually,” Raph explained. “I promise.”
“For sure, bro,” Todd added. “You may as well start to call me Soundwave, because soon I’m gonna be your number one tiny guy! No homo.”
“Uh, sure,” Metatron sighed. “Jacob, are you sure that was the best course of action? The forces of the Divine are forbidden from entering Hell, doing so would be seen as an act of war. If Beelzebub is limited to the depths of the underworld, Raphael and I can’t help you fight him.”
“I know,” I admitted. “That’s why I’ve got something important for you to do, Raph.”
“What would that be?” Raph asked hopefully.
“Raph,” I asked as seriously as I could, “I’m going to need somebody I can trust to be my eyes and ears up here on Earth Realm. Beelzebub might be banished to Hell, but his army of Daeva and his demonic allies aren’t. Would you be willing to take on the official role of General for my forces here on Earth?”
“General?” the dark-haired man gasped. “I-I’d be honored. I haven’t held a title like that one in centuries.”
“You’d be in charge of all of my cultists, as well as any of the succubi or other allies who remain here on Earth,” I explained.
“Oof,” Todd whistled. “Oliver’s gonna shit his cargo shorts when he hears that.”
“Oliver and Jane are still the leaders of the Cult of Ralston,” I reiterated, “but now they’ll have to report to you before they make any major decisions.”
“Speakin’ of which … ” Todd interjected, “where is old bird-nest head right now?”
“Oliver and Jane are hunting down the last remnants of Beelzebub's cult,” Sia explained. “With any luck, they’ll be eliminated within the next few months.”
“Leading a cult would be a big task … ” Raph pondered aloud. “Would the Exalted One even be alright with me doing that?”
“I’m sure we can work out an arrangement,” Metatron said with a nod. “Anything to keep our greatest asset secure.”
Greatest asset. I bit my lip as I thought about the new information I’d just been given by Beelzebub. Metatron knew what I was. So did the Exalted One.
“Were you ever planning on telling me about my heritage?” I blurted out.
The color drained from Metatron’s face, and he crossed his arms on his chest.
“Who told you?” he asked gravely. “I figured you’d find out eventually.”
“Wait,” Libidine asked curiously, “find out about what?”
“What about you, Raph?” I accused the dark-haired Archangel. “Did you know?”
“Of course I knew,” the Archangel admitted, but he averted his eyes from mine.
“Knew what, Raphey?” Todd interjected. “I really feel like we’re about to be hit with an exposition-bomb here.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
I thought I’d be angry, but I wasn’t. It was more of a feeling of betrayal, the likes of which I hadn’t felt since I’d walked in on my last ex-girlfriend with another guy. I’d known Raphael for almost three years. Why was he keeping this from me?
Raphael hung his head in shame.
“I should have told you sooner,” he moped. “I didn’t wish to keep it from you, I really didn’t.”
“What are you talking about?” Todd was now nearly demanding.
“Then why did you?” I hissed as I walked over to the Archangel.
I was up close to Raph’s face, but he wouldn’t even look me in the eyes.
“I didn’t tell you because, as stupid as it may sound, I didn’t think it mattered,” he admitted.
“Didn’t think it mattered?” I guffawed. “This matters a whole fucking lot!”
“Jacob,” Raph sighed, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to influence your decisions. I wanted you, Jacob Ralston, to control your own destiny, not some Demon Lord that bore your DNA.”
“Wait,” Eligor gasped. “Are you saying--”
“You’re killin’ me, Smalls!” Todd groaned and rubbed his hands over his eyes.
“I’m a Nephilim, Todd!” I burst out angrily, and the whole room went silent.
Honestly, saying it out loud made me feel a whole lot better. I suddenly didn’t feel as angry or betrayed, and it was as if the largest weight in the universe had now been lifted off my chest.
“That’s why I can control the powers of both Heaven and Hell,” I continued. “That’s why so many powerful Demon Kings and the Exalted One have taken an interest in me. I’m one of the most powerful beings in the universe, the spawn of a demon and a human.”
“Damn … ” Todd mused in a tone much too serious for him. “You’re telling me Maria Ralston had sex with a demon? Lucky bastard.”
I let out a deep sigh and then proceeded to explain to my friends everything my parents told me.
They all listened with bated breath, and I could see in their eyes they had a million questions.
“So, yeah,” I said as I finished my story. “That’s the long and short of it. I’m Jacob Ralston, King of the Fourth Circle and Nephilim.”
“Nephilim of Hell,” Raphael corrected. “Since angels can breed with humans too, you have to add the--you know what? It’s not important.”
“I actually kinda like that title,” I laughed. “It sounds way more badass than ‘mortal.’”
“I could get behind that,” Superbia mused. “Jacob Ralston, King of the Fourth Circle, Leader of the Cult of Ralston, and Nephilim of Hell.”
“Stay faaaar away from coffee shops, Jakey,” Todd warned. “If they gotta write that on your order, they’re gonna be spitting in your drink.”
“So, what happens now?” Libidine spoke up, and I could hear the concern in her voice. “This changes everything.”
I walked over to the succubus, placed my hand against her cheek, and looked deep into her violet eyes.
“It doesn’t change anything,” I promised. “At least, not when it comes to me. I’m still the same guy I was when you met me. I’ll still be a benevolent ruler, and taking care of you girls is still at the top of my list.”
“Honestly?” Aruna’s voice spoke-up from the shadows in the corner. “It mostly just means he’s going to have even more people gunning for his head.”
“Great,” I noted as I turned to the Rakshasi. “So, that means we might be meeting as adversaries next time?”
A sly smile slid up Aruna’s face as she shrugged.
“Perhaps,” she answered coyly. “It all depends on how much you’re willing to counter-offer. As much as I like you, Jacob, we Rakshasi have a strict code to follow.”
“Well, if anyone ever tries to put a hit on me, just let me know,” I begged the assassin. “I’ll make sure to double your price.”
“Now, that’s what I like to hear,” Aruna purred. “But now that the job is done and I know you’ve returned safely, I must be going. Good luck, Jacob.”
With that, the Rakshasi assassin strutted over to the door, flung it open, and surrounded herself with black ectoplasm. Her figure shifted into that of a hawk, and then she soared off into the night.
“I must be leaving now, as well,” Metatron admitted. “Come, Angelo.
”
Martatelli’s ghost rubbed his hands together happily as he floated over to where the Archangel was standing.
“Awww,” Todd pouted. “Super Mario’s not coming back to Hell with us?”
Angelo’s brow furrowed, and he shook his head vigorously in disagreement.
“I’ve offered Angelo a consulting job back in Heaven,” Metatron explained. “I trust he will like it much better up there, and we could use his scientific and paranormal knowledge.”
“Wasn’t he killed for being a heretic?” Eligor questioned.
“He was,” Metatron nodded, “but, much like everyone else in this room, he has atoned for his sins. I look forward to your weekly updates, Jacob. Now, if you’ll excuse us--”
“Wait!” I called out before the Archangel vanished. “How are we supposed to get back down to Hell? Please don’t tell me we have to drive all the way back out to Virginia.”
“Of course not,” the Archangel chuckled. “I’ve spoken with the Exalted One himself, and he’s given you a verbal waiver. You and your … family may travel between Hell and Earth Realm at your leisure simply by using your green Hellfire. The only stipulation is you may only teleport to places you’ve already been.”
“Fucking fast-travel,” Todd grumbled under his breath.
“Goodbye, everyone.” Metatron gave us one last nod as he summoned Divine Light into his hands.
Soon, he and Martatelli were both engulfed by the vibrant spell.
“Addio!” the scientist’s spectre called out as the two of them disappeared into the brilliant light.
I walked over to Raphael and extended my hand.
“We’ll see you around, my friend,” I mused as we shook. “Take care of everything while we’re gone. I’ll still be popping back up every now and again, but I have a feeling a lot of our work is gonna be done in Hell for the foreseeable future.”
“Good luck, Jacob,” the Archangel said somberly. “If anyone can beat the odds, it’s you.”
I turned around, started walking toward the garage, and motioned for my friends to follow me.
Eligor, Todd, and the two succubi walked behind me as I opened the door and stepped out into the cold, hard concrete.
Ariel and my parents were still chatting up a storm when I approached, and it made me happy to see they had already recovered from such a traumatic experience.
“You guys ready to go?” I asked the group.
“Go?” my dad scoffed jokingly. “We just got here, and you’re already sending us back to Kansas City?”
“Not KC, Dad,” I sighed. “You’re coming to the Fourth Circle with me and my friends.”
The color seemed to drain from my parents’ faces when they heard the news, and their expressions twisted into looks of horror.
“You’re taking us down … to Hell?” Mom asked as if I had just sentenced them to death.
Just then, Todd hopped up onto the hood of Shadow. The imp waggled his eyebrows at my mom and then began to flex his nonexistent muscles as he did pose after ridiculous pose.
“No need to fear, Maria,” he promised in a voice much deeper than his regular one, “the Toddster will be there to protect you. Nothing gets past these guns.”
“Oh my,” my mom chuckled. “Jacob told us about your new body, Todd, but it’s still a bit jarring to see in person.”
“I know it can be a little overwhelming at first,” the imp joked as he struck another pose, “but you’ll totally get used to it.”
“Todd’s right,” I admitted. “Even if he can’t be here himself, Beelzebub still has a ton of influence here on Earth Realm. And now that he knows he can use you as bait? You’re not safe.”
“What about our home?” Mom asked sadly.
“It’s not forever,” I promised. “Just until I can destroy Beelzebub. Once he’s out of the way and I know you’ll be safe, you can come back.”
My parents looked at each other, and then nodded somberly.
“Alright,” Dad conceded. “We’ll come with you.”
“You too, Ariel,” I said to the redhead. “My army could use a great blacksmith.”
“You had me at ‘you.’” The scarlet haired angel winked.
“Alright guys,” I announced, “hold onto your butts, because things might get a little weird.”
I summoned green Hellfire into my hands and then cast it around all of my friends and family. I closed my eyes, pictured our castle back in the Fourth Circle, and felt my body become weightless as it floated up into the air. The next thing I knew, there was a burst of green light, and it was like my soul left my body as I traveled through space and time.
Finally, when I opened up my eyes, I saw the familiar walls of our humble abode.
The spell had worked. We were back in Hell.
“What the fuck?” I heard Tris’ deep voice muse as she sat up from the couch and rubbed her eyes.
The succubus stared at the group with confusion on her tired face, but only for a second. Then her violet eyes lit up, and she hopped off the couch, ran over, and threw her arms around me.
“You’re back!” the Sister of Sloth laughed. “The others were all worried about you, dude. But not me. I totally figured you were just off doing your own thing, kicking ass and taking names. And who are these fine dudes and dudettes you picked up along the way?”
“These are my parents,” I explained and motioned to my mom and dad. “They’re going to be staying with us down here until we can take care of our Beelzebub problem. And this is Ariel. She’s an angel, and she’s going to be our new blacksmith.”
“Finally,” Tris mused. “I’ve been getting really tired of the makeshift armor Cupi and Daniel have been making us use. Do you have any idea how heavy that shit is? I’m getting tired just thinking about it.”
“I’ll do my best,” Ariel promised. “I can’t wait to get to work. In fact, where is the armory? Can I get started right now?”
“Uh, it’s a little to the east of the castle,” Tris explained. “Just follow these stairs or whatever until you get to the exit.”
Ariel let out a squeal of glee, and then she dashed off in the direction of the stairs. As her strawberry red locks disappeared down the staircase, Tris gave us a strange look.
“I have a bad feeling about that one,” she shuddered. “Nobody should be that eager to work.”
“Right?” Todd mused.
“Sia,” I asked the madame, “would you be willing to take my parents to their new rooms? There were plenty of extras in my wing, and I can have the Shades bring up furniture as soon as possible.”
“I’d be honored,” Superbia said with a slight bow. “Come, Mr. and Mrs. Ralston. Now, we may pass by a room at some point that’s blaring Sugar, We’re Going Down, but that’s just Invidia. She’s actually quite pleasant once you get to know her.”
My parents gave me one final look of uncertainty before they turned and followed the redhead down the corridor.
Meanwhile, I unfastened my weapons belt, yanked off the rest of my armor, and then placed it on a nearby table. Then I turned and headed for the staircase.
“Where are you going, Jacob?” Libidine called after me.
I stopped at the top of the stairs and turned back to respond.
“I need to go for a walk to clear my head,” I sighed. “There’s been a lot of shit thrown at me in the last few days.”
“Can we come too?” the Sister of Lust asked hopefully.
“Who’s ‘we?’” Tris shot back. “My derriere is staying planted right here on this couch.”
“I’ll go,” Todd offered. “I may have the body of a god, but your mom didn’t seem that impressed. I need to get back into prime Todd shape, bro, and it starts with the dreaded ‘e’ word.”
“No … ” Tris gasped in horror.
“That’s right, Slothy,” the imp sighed, “I’m gonna go exercise.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange. Maybe having Todd and Liby along would further ease
my mind? It definitely couldn’t hurt.
“Alright,” I chuckled. “Come on, you guys.”
The succubus and the imp high-fived, and then they followed me down the stairs.
We walked out through the first floor of the castle, through the large entry room with our commissioned portraits, and out into the grassy courtyard. We had the guards lower the gates, and then we passed through to the other side. Once we were outside the castle walls, we proceeded for another mile or so, until we came to a serene creek just on the outskirts of our palace.
“As crazy as it sounds,” I admitted to my friends as I watched the trickle of water, “I feel way better being in Hell than I did on Earth.”
“That comes with the territory,” Liby explained. “You’re a Demon King, Jacob. Of course your kingdom is going to feel the most like your home.”
Suddenly, a blur of red zipped past our position. Todd was running as fast as he could toward the creek, and then he leapt up into the air, threw out his arms and legs, and belly-flopped into the water. There was a tiny splash as he went under the surface, but then his horned head popped back up above the water.
“You don’t get water like this on Earth, bro,” the imp cackled. “You guys coming in?”
“Maybe if I wanted to get my knees wet,” I shot back. “I think we’re good for now. I’d much rather just sit here and enjoy the serenity.”
“It is quite beautiful, isn’t it?” a man’s voice asked from behind us.
I whipped around with red Hellfire in my hands, ready to incinerate whoever the fuck was trying to sneak up on us. However, I decast my spell when I saw who it was.
It was Plato, the Greek philosopher we’d made friends with here in Hell.
“Damn, Plato,” I chuckled. “You scared the shit out of us.”
“I’m sorry, Jacob,” the philosopher said with a warm smile. “I didn’t mean to alarm you.”
“Wait … ” Libidine pondered aloud. “How did you get out of the First Circle?”
“Yeah,” Todd added as he paddled back to shore, “I thought you refused to leave due to philosophical reasons? Something about wanting to know there was a beyond or some shit like that.”
“That’s not important,” the bearded man promised. “What is important is the message that I bear. I hear you discovered your true heritage during your tour of Earth Realm?”
