Anticipation thrilled in my belly. Last night wasn’t just a one-off for him, then. “Absolutely.” I edged closer to cup his cheek, to draw him back to my mouth. My kiss was gentle, tender, not meant to incite anything more when I knew he had to leave. It was a thank-you. “Last night was the best it’s ever been for me,” I confessed against his mouth.
His grip on my hip tightened, and he seemed to swallow hard before replying gruffly, “Good.” He pressed a quick, hard kiss to my lips and shot off the bed, marching across the annex in the space of a second.
I blinked rapidly, feeling like I’d just been punched in the gut.
Good?
Good?
That was his reply.
Also known as, “I’m pleased for you, but it wasn’t the best I’ve ever had.”
Hurt was a burn in my chest as I drew my knees up.
“Why don’t you come over today?” I was aware of him stopping at the door, staring back at me, but I couldn’t quite look at him. “We’re just having a lazy Sunday, but I know Eils and Lew would love for you to hang out with us again.”
I had no plans.
I could absolutely hang out with them.
Speaking to his shoulder, I gave him a tight-lipped smile. “I have plans.”
“Oh?”
Ignoring his question, I reached for the coffee as I stood. “Thanks for the coffee.” I saluted it in his direction and rounded the bed to disappear into the bathroom, where I was pretty sure I was going to cry in the shower like a big baby.
Out of sight, I dumped the mug on the sink, not really seeing anything, only hearing his “good” in my head over and over as I brushed my teeth.
Not long later, as I reached to pull the hem of my nightdress up, I was halted by the brawny arm that encircled my waist. I squeaked in surprise as Thane pulled me back against his hard, now-familiar chest. His lips brushed my ear, and he said in that deep, delicious voice, “Best sex of my life.”
I stiffened.
And then turned my head to meet his eyes.
There was something guarded in his.
“You don’t need to say that.” I shrugged, feeling horribly vulnerable.
“I’ll never lie to you,” he promised, his hold on me tightening. “Best fucking sex of my entire life. By a long shot.”
And just like that, I melted.
His expression hardened, though. “But we agree it’s just sex. You’ll get in the shower, get dressed, and abandon your nonexistent plans to come spend the day with us. We’ll go on as before, friendly in front of the kids, so Lewis knows everything’s okay, but nothing more. And then at night”—he hardened against my behind—“I’ll sneak in here so we can have more of the best sex of our lives … and that’s it. Agreed?”
I refused to acknowledge the chill in my heart. Instead, I concentrated on the one thing I had from him that no other woman had apparently had, not even his late wife.
I turned in his arms, his arousal brushing across my ass as I did. “What time is it?”
Thane frowned. “Nine o’clock.”
Good. I unbuckled his belt. “The kids won’t be up for another hour at least.”
He sucked in a breath. “Regan …”
But his willpower was already out the window as I released him from his jeans and underwear and lowered to my knees. He cursed under his breath, his eyes blazing, chest heaving as his hands clasped my head. I hadn’t even touched him yet.
Thane’s long groan, the way his stomach rippled when I touched him, was the most empowering feeling in the goddamn world. At that moment, I was absolutely everything to him, and just as I’d decided last night, I was going to take (or give, as it so happened) all I could while it lasted. No matter what happened between us, I’d always have this of him. The best sex of his life.
It wasn’t everything, but it was something.
21
Thane
The computer screen before him was a blur of lines, his mind somewhere far beyond. With Regan. He could still smell her perfume, feel the slide of her silken hair across his skin, feel the tight, hot sheath of her. His want for her was driving him to distraction. While he was a man, and there was a part of him that got off on sneaking into the annex each night to be with her, Thane couldn’t rid the dread that had settled over him since they’d agreed on their sex-with-no-strings arrangement.
In fact, the dread had only worsened since that first night. The only reprieve he had from it was when he was inside Regan. Nothing else penetrated his thoughts but the overwhelming need that consumed him in those moments.
“Thane!”
Jarred from his now daily daydreams about his kids’ nanny, Thane turned from his computer screen to see Keelie standing in the doorway, frowning at him.
“Sorry for shouting, but I said your name a few times and you didn’t respond.”
Fuck.
This was getting out of hand.
“Sorry about that.” Then it occurred to him Keelie was in his office. On their floor. “What brings you down here?”
She closed his door and walked over to his desk.
Thane felt awkward. When he hadn’t called Keelie back, he’d presumed she’d understand what that meant. That was how the dating game worked. Unless she was here about something else.
Keelie perched on his desk and gave him a somewhat self-deprecating shrug. “My friends told me I should leave it alone, but I like to know for certain where things are at. I can’t play the usual bullshit dating games. I’m not very good at understanding the rules.”
Oh, boy.
“I thought we had a really nice time at dinner, but … you haven’t called. So … I just thought I’d check if maybe I was supposed to ask you out next? And if so, would you like to go on a second date with me?”
Thane admired her courage and straightforwardness. To be fair, her self-involved nattering on their first date could have just been nerves. And in another life, maybe he would have gone on a second date with her. But she deserved honesty. “I had a nice time, Keelie, but I think we’re better off as friends.”
Disappointment darkened her eyes, but she smiled through it. He felt like shit. “Oh. Of course.” She pushed off his desk, smoothing her skirt. “Well, I appreciate you being up-front.”
“I’m … sorry.” Thane winced as she winced. An apology was the wrong move. It was pitying. Fuck. “I mean—”
“It’s fine.” She backed up toward the door. “I need to … I need to get back to work.”
Keelie fled his office as if the hounds of mortification were nipping at her heels.
Thane buried his head in his hands and muttered a string of curse words. Regan was right. He’d used Keelie and hurt her. What an arsehole.
The rest of the day passed painfully slowly. Now he was distracted by his own bad choices. Even Regan noted at dinner he seemed troubled. He waved off her concerns as he pondered what the hell he was doing with his life. With Regan. The chances he was taking with his family with this affair. But when she gave him a sultry look before she left the house for her annex, his addiction to her took over.
And when he let himself into the annex that night to find Regan lying naked on the bed, waiting for him, everything else ceased to exist.
Regan Penhaligon had seduced him past the point of no return.
22
Regan
Except for Thane’s birthday that following Tuesday, our affair fell into a strict routine. That doesn’t sound like it could be hot, but it was so freaking hot, he’d become my obsession.
We went about our lives as we had before, except friendlier and nicer to each other than we had been the past few weeks. This seemed to appease Lewis, and he stopped being so watchful of us all the time.
But at night, when the children were asleep and secure in the house, Thane slipped into my annex for an hour. Sometimes he made love to me like he actually loved me. Those were the dangerous nights. Strangely, for the sake of my heart, I preferred the nights he
was bossy, when he moved me about the bed the way he wanted and fucked me until I saw stars. On my knees, riding him, on his knees, on our sides, upside down, twisted like a pretzel, hands tied together above my head. The man knew how to screw every which way. I’d never have guessed he was so wild. It was the best surprise.
And all I kept thinking was what a moron Fran had been. How the hell could she cheat on Thane Adair?
The only exception to our routine was the morning of his birthday. I’d snuck upstairs with breakfast before he could wake. But he didn’t want the scrambled eggs on toast I’d brought him. He wanted me. It was the first time we’d had sex in the house, and having to stay super quiet was strangely erotic for us both.
Afterward, Thane looked guilty as hell, and I knew he worried about Eilidh and Lewis discovering our secret. He was cooler toward me because of it, and once more my feelings were wounded. I ignored the somewhat used sensation crawling across my shoulders as I vowed not to enter his bedroom without invitation again.
I was his dirty little secret.
It never seemed like that when we were together, but sometimes, like when I was standing at the school gates, I felt it. The thirsty moms didn’t pay me attention anymore. They’d long moved on. But I still remembered their gossip. I knew what they’d think of me.
I could tell myself I was a grown woman who could do whatever the hell she wanted with whomever she wanted, but it was hard to remember that on days like this morning. For a moment, I’d totally forgotten where we were. The kids were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast, and Thane was behind the island, his ass facing into the kitchen. As I passed him to put my mug in the sink, I’d reached out without thinking and caressed said ass. It wasn’t until he turned sharply to glare at me I even realized what I’d done.
I flicked a guilty look at the kids, relieved they weren’t even paying attention, but Thane glowered at me like I’d just murdered the family pet.
Dirty. Little. Secret.
Whatever he saw flash across my expression softened his with confusion. Heart pounding, I skirted around him, keeping my distance. “I’m just going to put a load of laundry on before the littles get ready.”
I had been in there only a few seconds when I felt him.
Glancing over my shoulder, our eyes locked as Thane leaned against the doorjamb. He looked down the hall before turning and whispering quietly, “I’m sorry. I just …”
“No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I get it.” He crossed the room to still my hands as I sorted the laundry. “I have moments where I’m itching to touch you … but we can’t. Yeah?”
Dirty. Little. Secret.
I blinked hard out of the memory, glaring at the school as I waited to collect Eilidh and Lewis. Will was a few yards away, talking animatedly with another parent, so I didn’t have him to distract me from my dark thoughts.
Two weeks.
It had only been two weeks since Thane and I started our affair.
And I was wondering how long I could hack the emotional roller coaster I was on.
Jared called last week to ask me out, and I made up some excuse about how I wasn’t looking to date while I was in Scotland. He didn’t seem to care. I mean, it took him long enough to call. Instead, he told me to call him if I changed my mind.
Robyn … my sister knew something was up. She kept asking if I was okay and giving me these long, searching looks. Usually, I would just tell her about Thane. But I’d promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I didn’t want to break my promise, even though I’d kill for my sister’s sensible and loving advice.
Rather, I had to rely on what I thought she might tell me.
And she’d tell me that if the affair only made me feel good when we were having sex, if it made me feel horrible about myself when we weren’t having sex, then I needed to end it. I needed to be honest with Thane that I was not cut out for zero commitment. Not with him. I thought I could. I thought something was better than nothing.
It had taken less than fourteen days to realize how naive I’d been.
Loving the man who only wanted to screw you … it was like taking five knives in the chest every day.
I had to end it.
The thought made me want to scream in rebellion, but for the sake of my sanity, I knew I had to end it.
The bell rang, snapping me back to the moment.
Focus. When Eilidh and Lewis were around, I didn’t have time to worry about the state of my relationship with Thane. I thanked God every day for them—the best little distractions a girl could hope for. If I was obsessed with their father, I was a goner for them. But that was the kind of love a girl could live with.
Grinning at the sight of Eilidh hurrying down the front steps into the yard, my eyes wandered past her to find Lewis.
So focused on finding her brother in the crowds, I didn’t notice the man approach.
By the time I did, it was too late.
As my attention returned to Eilidh, she’d just stepped through the gates when the stranger swung her into his arms, making her shriek.
What the hell?!
“Hey!” I yelled, panicked, launching myself toward them.
The man’s eyes flew to me, wild and mad behind his round glasses as Eilidh beat his head and screamed, but I swore adrenaline made me fly into super speed. I shrieked at him to let her go, and he backhanded me so hard, I stumbled onto my ass.
“Oi, you!” I heard Will shout, and I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the throbbing in my cheek. Will grabbed at the man’s hair, distracting him enough so I could tug Eilidh by the waist out of his arms. He slammed an elbow into Will’s nose just as I got Eilidh free, and he lunged at her again. I pushed her away in instinct and put myself between them, trying to focus beyond the discombobulation of a complete stranger attempting to steal my child in front of hundreds of witnesses.
“Back off!” I yelled, shoving him away.
He grabbed my arm, trying to twist it, but Robyn’s lessons kicked in. I slammed the base of my palm in an upward strike into his nose. I wasn’t strong enough to break it, but it stunned him long enough to loosen his hold. Spinning toward Eilidh, now in Lewis’s protective little arms, I found my shoulder jolted back in a painful jarring yank.
“Give her to me!” he roared like an animal as he clawed at my throat from behind. The smell of whisky was overwhelming. “Give me my daughter!”
McClintock?
Oh my God.
Throwing my entire weight behind it, I sank my elbow into his face and stumbled toward the kids as he grunted and released me. I was aware of bodies rushing at us, at him. We were being protected by the other parents, so I pulled Eilidh and Lewis into my belly, covering them as much as I could with my body. Like a cocoon. A fist slammed into my temple, momentarily dazing me as I heard McClintock scream Eilidh’s name again.
Eilidh and Lewis sobbed as they burrowed into me, as my back and head were punched and kicked as he tried to beat his way around me to get her. I ignored the pain, refusing to budge. The cacophony of those around us blurred into white noise.
And then the hitting stopped as abruptly as it had started.
“Regan, you’re okay.” Michelle bent her face into mine.
I glanced up and behind her, shocked to see McClintock flat on the ground, held down by Will and all the thirsty moms.
Kids were crying around us, scared out of their minds.
“Eilidh. Lewis.” I dropped to my knees as they threw their arms around me. My face and body throbbed with pain, but it didn’t matter. They were safe. Relief and adrenaline made me tremble as much as they did. I tried not to cry with rage that McClintock had scared the hell out of them.
“The police are on their way.” Michelle rubbed my shoulder soothingly. “Do you know who he is?”
“Eilidh!” McClintock wailed, glaring at us from the ground where Will and the ladies had him pinned. “My daughter!” He sounded like a wounded animal.
I
blanched, feeling everyone stare at us as I lied, “No, I don’t know who he is.”
* * *
THANE
It took everything within him not to drive like a maniac all the way from Inverness to Caelmore. Killing himself to get home to the children and Regan wouldn’t do anyone any good. But the adrenaline coursing through him made it very hard to control his foot on the accelerator.
The only thing that reassured him was that Lachlan and Robyn were with them.
Sean McClintock had tried to kidnap Eilidh at the school gates.
Lachlan had called him. His brother had rushed to the school when Jock informed him via Will that McClintock was being held in a citizen’s arrest while they waited for the police. His brother was there to see the bastard arrested, but Thane was waiting for contact from the police. He would see the piece of shit put away for this.
According to Lachlan, if it hadn’t been for Regan’s quick actions and help from the other parents, Sean might have gotten away with Eilidh. The very thought sent a cold shudder down his spine. Thane didn’t know the details yet. He did know he owed Regan more than he could ever pay back.
He skidded to a stop outside his house, his thoughts solely focused on its occupants. Bursting through the door, Thane rushed into the main living space, dizzy with relief as his children jumped from the couch beside Regan and Robyn and rushed him.
He dropped to his knees, taking in every inch of them before they slammed into him. Physically, they were fine, but as they clung to Thane, they cried, the sound unbearable. Tears filled his eyes as he pulled them tighter to him, vowing he would never again take for granted the singular feeling of his children embracing him. Thane pressed quick, desperate kisses to their heads as his tears threatened to fall.
A hand on his shoulder brought his head up, and he looked into Lachlan’s concerned face. “They’ll be all right. They’ve just had a fright,” his brother assured him.
There With You: An Adair Family Novel Page 24
