“We need to talk,” he said bluntly.
Oh, no. Here it came.
The blame. The shame.
“I know!” I blurted out before he could continue. “I promised you my problems wouldn’t bring trouble, and I got Eilidh and Lewis hurt. I’m so sorry, Thane. I can’t ever make it up—”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Thane moved to the bed, pulling me into his side, cuddling me close. “No, don’t say that. Oh, mo leannan, you’re breaking my fucking heart. Please don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault.”
I sobbed at his kindness, because of course, it was my fault, and of course, he wouldn’t see it that way. “I didn’t see it … I didn’t see the dark in him, and I let him into my life and if I hadn’t forced myself into your life—”
“I would be the same man I was a year ago,” he cut me off, “existing for Eilidh and Lewis. Not unhappy, but not excited about life beyond them. I love my kids. I’m content to live for them. But I never imagined I’d wake up each morning feeling this much anticipation for what the day would bring. All because I have a woman I look forward to seeing every day, to talking with, to laughing with, to loving.”
I pulled away from him just enough to look into his eyes.
My breath caught at what I saw shining in them.
“I found Eredine and the children so quickly last night because I was chasing after you.”
“You were?”
Thane nodded, his eyes searching my face as if memorizing me. I didn’t care that I probably looked like hell. He was looking at me like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“I never thought I’d be the kind of man to have insecurities,” he said ruefully. “The Adair men are a cocky bunch.”
I grinned at that.
He reached up to trace my smile with his thumb as his tone grew serious. “Fran’s betrayal came out of nowhere. I couldn’t have imagined that she would cheat on me. It shook me. It shook everything I believed in … Yet I also never thought it would stop me from moving on. While I hadn’t searched for anything serious with someone new, I wasn’t averse to it happening if the right person came along. I thought she’d be around my age, maybe have kids of her own, be settled in life.”
He caressed my cheek, a dark hunger in his expression. “Then you showed up. I knew from your first day on the job, that morning in the kitchen, when I caught you looking at me and I teased you about my hands … I knew you were dangerous to me. Young, vibrant, beautiful, my brother’s almost sister-in-law, with a bit of a reputation that I didn’t know at the time wasn’t earned.”
My heart pounded so hard, it was a wonder he didn’t feel it banging against him.
“But it was the way you were with Eilidh and Lewis that made me realize I was falling for you. The attraction got harder to ignore … and that first night I made to love you … I knew it then.”
“Knew what?” I dared to ask.
“That I’m so in love with you, it scares me.”
My breath caught as tears stung my nose.
He gave me that rueful smile again. “If it had just been about physical attraction, I could have controlled it, ignored it, never touched you, knowing how complicated the situation was. But I couldn’t stay away from you.”
“Me neither.”
“And when you protected Eilidh … I was so far gone for you. I kept telling myself to enjoy what I could, to remember you weren’t staying here permanently.”
“You didn’t trust me,” I whispered, the pain of his faithlessness still fresh.
“No … I just couldn’t get past my own damn insecurities.” He turned into me, clasping my face in his hands. “Regan, to me, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Inside and out. Sweet and hilarious and kind and smart. Sexy and uninhibited and loving. You could have anyone, go anywhere, do anything you put your mind to. You’re extraordinary. I didn’t trust in myself. I didn’t trust that I was enough for you. That me and the children and Ardnoch are enough for you. I thought we were too ordinary.”
His confession killed me. I wrapped my hands around his wrists. “Ordinary? You couldn’t be ordinary if you tried. Don’t you know you’re everything to me? Only you can make my stomach flutter with just a smile. Only you can make my world perfect just by holding me in your arms. Only you can get me hot with just that look in your eye.”
He grinned wickedly.
“Only you make me feel good about myself, make me feel wanted and at home in my own skin. When we’re all together, you, me, and Eilidh and Lewis, it feels so right, it almost hurts with how wonderful it is.”
He nodded, brushing my tears with his thumbs.
I tightened my grip on his wrists as I licked the salty tears off my lip. “I know with a certainty I’ve never had about anything before that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care if that scares you. I need to be honest and up-front, especially after last night, because life is too damn short, Thane. This isn’t ‘let’s see how it goes and cool if it works out or cool if it doesn’t.’ I am madly, desperately, deeply in love with you, and I never want to be without you again,” I sobbed.
He swallowed the cry with a hungry kiss that stole my breath. When he finally released me, it was to pepper kisses over my cheeks, his beard a familiar, delicious tickle across my skin. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeated between kisses. My heart felt like it might explode in my chest. “You’re never leaving us again.” He scattered kisses down my throat and continued to murmur, “I want you back in the house. My bed is your bed, living together out in the open. No more sneaking around. This is us.”
He paused to look me deep in the eye. “You’re my woman and I’m your man, and fuck what anyone else has to say about it.”
I reached for him, pulling him back to my mouth, wanting to seal his promise with a kiss.
“Ahem!”
We broke apart, turning in each other’s arms to find a nurse standing in the doorway. She gave Thane an amused but irritated look. “Do you mind detaching yourself from the patient while I check her over?”
Thane grinned before turning that boyish smile on me.
My belly fluttered.
“I just promised her I’m never letting her go,” he said gruffly, “so I guess you’ll have to do your checks with me right where I am. I’m not going anywhere.”
41
Thane
The sound of Lewis’s light snoring woke him up.
Blinking his eyes open, he waited for them to adjust to the darkness so he could take in the sight before him.
A pain in his neck made itself known, but Thane didn’t dare move. He was in an awkward half-sitting, half-reclined position against his headboard. Lewis was curled into him, his small head on Thane’s chest, his little arm wrapped around Thane’s waist. Thane’s left arm rested down his son’s warm back, while his free hand clasped the book they’d been reading.
His gaze drifted past his son to his daughter, her back pressed up against her brother’s, but she snuggled into Regan, who held her close even in sleep.
A week had passed since Austin Vale’s attack on Ery and the kids and his attempted rape and murder of Regan.
Sometimes, just saying the words in his head made Thane dizzy. It was surreal. Their family had been through so much in the past year.
But they were here, with him in his bed, safe.
Regan still wasn’t a hundred percent from her concussion, and Eilidh and Lewis didn’t want to be far from her side since they’d seen her in that hospital bed. Her trauma seemed to have distracted them from their own, which told him just how much his children loved her.
Still, he’d spoken with a colleague at work whose wife was a child psychologist, and she’d suggested some family trauma counseling for them all. Their first appointment was next week.
They had to get Eils and Lew back into a routine, back into their own beds. As it was, Eilidh didn’t even want to be in her own room. Thane considered redecora
ting the guest room and turning that into her bedroom, but he wanted to speak with the counselor first to discuss the best plan of action.
For now, they all slept together so Thane or Regan (or both) could be right there when either of the children woke from a nightmare. Tonight was the first night neither of them had one. That was progress.
It helped for them to know the monster who’d taken and tied them up was dead. Austin’s body washed ashore a mile from Ardnoch Beach.
The danger to Thane’s family was over.
Eredine was on the mend, though Lachlan and Robyn were done giving her space, worried that this latest assault would push her further away. She was ensconced in their guest room with no intention of letting her out of their sight until they were sure she was going to be okay.
Seth and Stacey wanted to fly over, but Regan video-called to assure them she was all right and it wasn’t worth the expense. Thane gathered they were hurt by this, but he couldn’t help but be selfishly relieved they weren’t returning to Scotland. Stacey was unpredictable, and he didn’t like the way she treated Regan or twisted what was between them. They didn’t need that kind of judgment in their lives right now.
Though, at some point, for Regan and Robyn’s sake, bridges would have to be mended there.
“You’re awake,” Regan whispered, startling him.
“How did you know?”
“You sighed like the world was sitting on your shoulders.” She reached out with her free arm, her palm resting upward on the pillow beside him. Thane took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her soft skin.
“I just want everyone to be okay,” he whispered.
“We will be,” she promised. “We’ll all get through this together. Robyn’s taking Eilidh shopping for her flower-girl dress tomorrow, so that will be a pleasant distraction.”
“She’ll love that.”
“Maybe you and Lewis could do something with Lachlan, Mac, and Brodan?”
To Thane’s shock and gratitude, Brodan had brought filming on his movie to a standstill to come home to check on them all. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stay long, but they still had tomorrow with him. They’d kept the kids off school but tomorrow was Sunday, and they’d return on Monday. Back to their routine. “Maybe we should all do something together.”
“We’ll have dinner together at night,” she reassured him. “We need to start doing things separately. Show them it’s okay.”
He knew she was right. And he loved how much she loved Eilidh and Lewis. “I adore you, Regan Demelza Penhaligon.”
He could see her smile flash in the darkness. “I adore you, too, Thane Tavin Stuart Adair.”
“Stop being mushy,” Lewis yawned, “and go back to sleep.”
Thane choked back a laugh as Regan snorted.
Yeah, they were going to be okay.
Epilogue
REGAN
My back ached from sitting at the computer for the past two hours. But my essay was finished. Thank God.
Switching off the screen, I scooted out of the office chair that had now become mine as much as Thane’s. Studying for a business degree while taking care of the kids wasn’t easy, but I was determined to do it. Once I had my degree, I planned to apply for a business loan to open my own preschool. There was only one in Ardnoch, and after much investigation, I discovered it was a depressing little place where kids were monitored and kept safe but they weren’t engaged or stimulated.
Preschool should be about fun. I was good with fun.
The Adairs owned a small plot of land in Caelmore that they were happy for me to build my preschool on—designed by Thane, of course. I was incredibly moved by Thane and his siblings’ support, but I didn’t want to launch myself into the venture through nepotism. I wanted to understand fully how to run a business. Hence the business degree.
Switching off the lights, I turned on the security and tiptoed upstairs to my family. Thane had gone to sleep not long after we put Eilidh and Lewis to bed, bemoaning my ability to function on five or six hours’ sleep a night. I grinned, remembering his kiss on my neck and his warm, growly voice telling me not to work too hard.
Stopping at Eilidh’s bedroom, I peeked inside to find her sprawled across her bed like usual. What a difference a couple years could make. With some counseling, the loving support of family, and the joy of me and their father being together, the trauma Austin left them with had mended. I worried it would come back to haunt them in later years, but all we could do was keep talking things through if we noticed them brooding. They hadn’t brooded in a long time, though.
Smiling, I walked to Lewis’s room and opened the door just a smidge. He laid with the covers kicked off, although it was winter. I moved to leave when I heard him whisper sleepily, “Mum?”
My heart wrenched in my chest as it always did when one of them called me that. Not even a few months after Thane and I became official, Eilidh started calling me mum. It was easier for her because she had no memories of Fran, only stories.
I’d thought I would always be Ree-Ree to Lewis, but he’d asked me on the day of my wedding to Thane if he could start calling me mum too.
It had filled me with so much joy, but later also a lot of guilt. I hadn’t wanted Fran to feel like I was replacing her. Thane assured me I wasn’t. We visited her grave together. The photos of her remained on the wall. Although not long after I’d moved in, Thane had replaced their wedding photo with one of me at Dunrobin Castle with the kids. When I saw that, I switched the photos back. Thane asked me why when he discovered what I’d done.
“Because Fran was a huge part of your life. You wouldn’t be who you are today without her. The kids wouldn’t be here. Your wedding photo deserves to stay on the wall, and it diminishes nothing between you and me.”
Thane had never looked at me so tenderly. Well, until our wedding day.
Now our wedding photo hung on the wall too. The gallery had grown in the last few years.
“Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered back.
Lewis grumbled something in his sleep and flipped onto his back, his light snores immediately filling his room. I doubt he’d even been awake when he’d called out to me.
Leaving them to sleep, I slipped into mine and Thane’s bedroom, catching sight of him asleep on his side of the bed. Tiptoeing into the bathroom to change into my nightdress, I tried to be as quiet as possible.
Once in bed, I switched on my e-reader, the screen illuminating my face but not bright enough to wake my husband. I had to read before bed, especially after working. I needed business jargon and analysis out of my mind so I could relax enough to fall asleep.
Snuggling into my pillows, I delved into the latest historical romance from my favorite author. It wasn’t long, however, before I hit a passionate scene that sparked the familiar, hot tingles between my legs. My breasts swelled against my nightdress and I squirmed a little, shooting Thane a look.
I’d been so busy these past few weeks, we hadn’t had time for sex. I shouldn’t wake him.
Then again … I doubt he’d complain.
Switching off my e-reader, I placed it on the nightstand and then slid across to push the duvet off my husband. He shifted, feeling the sudden breeze in his sleep. Smirking, my belly fluttering with anticipation, I climbed over him, straddling him. My lips found his in the darkness, his beard tickling my chin as I kissed him in his sleep.
He groaned but still didn’t wake, so I lowered my weight onto his lap and undulated against him as I trailed kisses down his throat and stroked his stomach beneath his T-shirt.
Seconds later, I felt him harden and rise beneath me.
“Wha …” His eyes flew open in the dark, and I kissed him again. Harder. With a groan of realization, Thane’s arm came around my back, and he returned my kiss.
Suddenly, I was flipped onto my back as he thrust between my thighs and kissed me like a starving man. When he finally let me up for air, he reached beneath my nightdress and push
ed his fingers into my slick heat.
“Fuck,” he muttered, his eyes flashing in the dark. “Hot book?” he guessed.
I grinned up at him. “Extremely.”
“Thank Christ for romance novels. Remind me to buy you nothing but that for your birthday.”
His kiss swallowed my laughter, his hands caressing and sculpting my body through the nightdress. When his mouth left mine to trail over my breasts, I stifled my moan. His lips closed around my nipple through the silk and he sucked, hard.
Fingers tightening in his hair, I rocked against him, needing him everywhere, over me, inside me, mouth, hands … Pushing his pajama pants down, I freed him, taking him tightly in my fist.
“Fuck.” He pressed his forehead into my chest and thrust into my hand.
“Inside me,” I whispered. “Inside, inside.”
Thane chuckled as he tugged my underwear down. “Someone’s impatient tonight. No foreplay, mo leannan?”
I shook my head as I ripped at his T-shirt.
His laughter was muffled behind his shirt as it got caught halfway off. With a tug and delicious flex of his biceps, it came off over his head and he threw it away. “What’s gotten into you?”
“We haven’t had sex in two weeks.”
His lips twitched. “And that’s a long time, is it?”
I frowned at him. “Yes.”
“You might have a problem,” he teased, and then made his rumbly, gruff sound of pleasure as he pushed inside me.
Stifling my cry of delight, I arched into him, loving his overwhelming thickness inside me. Clasping onto his face as he gently moved in me, I whispered back, “I do have a problem. I’m addicted to you. Shouldn’t I be bored already?” I complained in jest. “Instead of wanting you more every day?”
Thane gave a sudden hard thrust into me, and I cried out.
“Shh,” he admonished.
“I can’t help it,” I gasped, holding on to his back as he drove faster, harder.
There With You: An Adair Family Novel Page 39
