by Mark Eller
* * * *
"Momma?"
Missa's soft voice floated through the darkness. Sleepily blinking her eyes open, Ani sat up and found Missa standing beside her bed. A thread of moonlight peeked past her rag curtains, illuminating Missa’s hair in a thin halo.
"Honey? Why are you up? Is something wrong?"
"Please don't make Jolson go away." Missa begged. "He needs us."
With those words, Missa sat down on the edge of the bed. Her hair hung in a long braid down her back, and she wore an old, worn gray nightshirt which once belonged to her father. Worry lines crinkled the corners of her young mouth.
"Missa." Anithia sighed. Always a debate, always a challenge. "How do you propose we fight off Athos’s demons when they come hunting? Do you want Mommy to get hurt? Do you want to get hurt?"
Missa shook her head. "The demons can’t hurt us."
Ani snorted. "Do you think we’re gods? Or maybe you just think we’re immortal?" Despite her best effort, anger and bitterness rose within her. This was all Larson’s fault. He had filled Missa's head with nonsense about her being special and blessed. Now Ani had a child who thought herself invincible.
Ani rubbed the back of her neck and gritted her teeth.
Missa folded her hands neatly in her lap and looked down. Tears streaked her face, leaving a glittering trail on her cheeks.
Oh great. Make her cry you big jerk, Ani chided herself. "Missa Markie, look at me."
Damp eyes glimmering in the moonlight, Missa looked up.
"I know you want to be like daddy, but you’re not old enough yet. Daddy trained a long time to be a demon killer. He had to go to the Anothosia’s Temple in Grace and be anointed by the goddess herself, back when he was still little more than a boy." Ani wiped at Missa's tears, pulled her close, and started to sing. Her voice rose, sweet and tender, into the still air. It wrapped itself around them like a warm blanket, soothing and loving.
Shine, shine, wherever we may be,
Shine your light on my baby and me.
Bless us with your truth and light,
And keep us safe all through the night.
We sing in the morning to her light.
We sing in the evening in candlelight.
We ask her guidance in all we do,
And she gives us wisdom to see us through.
Shine, shine, wherever we may be.
Shine your light on my baby and me.
Bless us with your truth and light,
And keep us safe all through the night.
Come those who seek justice true.
Come to the goddess of Seven and Two.
Praise her for she is wisdom and truth.
Anothosia, we worship you.
Shine, shine wherever we may be.
Shine your light on my baby and me.
Bless us with your truth and light,
And keep us safe all through the night.
Joy, peace, and the love of man,
She comes to all who call her friend.
Righteousness shall lead the way,
And a savior she’ll send to us one day.
Shine, shine, wherever we may be.
Shine your light on my baby and me.
Bless us with your truth and light,
And keep us safe all through the night.
Missa was almost asleep when Ani finished singing. She rose, pulled Missa deeper into the bed. "Go to sleep, little one. I’ll talk to you tomorrow." Smiling, Ani gently kissed her daughter's forehead.
"I love you, Momma." Missa whispered.
"I love you too, baby."
Ani waited until Missa fell into a deep slumber to slip from the bed. She went into their small sitting room, unable to go back to sleep. Mind weary and body tired, she sat down in a rickety chair and quietly rocked.
Movement at the window caught her eye. Ani jumped, squeaked, grabbed for her knife.
Jolson stared at her.
"What are you doing out there?" she demanded.
"Your song…drew me." Jolson said in a dull, stumbling voice. "It made me fe‒feel. Please. Sing it again."
Ani stared, dumbfounded. Her song made him feel? Did spawn have feelings? Did they have the ability to understand music or art? Larson had told her spawn emotions were limited to fear and pain. He told her they were incapable of joy, but then she had already determined Jolson was not exactly normal for a spawn.
"Please." Jolson said. He tried to pull himself through the window. Failing, his eyes fastened on her like she was a flame and he the moth.
Ani frowned. She sighed and then cursed. "Jolson, get out of my window."
She stopped speaking and looked at him. What would Larson expect of her? Should she tell him no? Larson said spawn were put through terrible pain and torture. Maybe she should sing for him if her voice brought him some ease. Then again, Larson had also cautioned her about singing for anyone but their family. Ani felt uncomfortable, torn by indecision. She wasn’t supposed to sing, but it was such a little thing he asked for.
"All right. I’ll sing for you." She gave him a small smile, gave him directions, and waited for him to come around to the back door. When he began scratching on the door’s wooden planks she let him in and gestured for him to sit in front of her on the floor.
"This is a song my mother used to sing to me. It’s called The Shepherd’s Passionate Love for Fleas.”
Ani sang to the spawn until well past midnight, watching his eyes swirl like glittering stars caught in a snowstorm. She marveled at the way he seemed different when he heard music, almost entranced. It was as if he were a different person inside, as if her songs brought the other person out. Was this the person he had been before becoming spawn? Did all spawn react this way to music, or was it just Jolson? What if her singing, her voice, affected him? Did her voice have special qualities which made another person or hellborn entranced? Was this why Larson had wanted Missa to stop singing? Did Missa’s voice also contain these qualities?
Later in the evening, in bed, Ani mulled those thoughts over, unable to go back to sleep. Something nagged at her as she tried to make the pieces fit. Finally, somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, Ani’s mind gave up, and she drifted off to sleep.
