“That wasn’t so bad,” I say, a smile crossing my face as Elias appears standing over me.
“How does your body feel?”
I laugh, flipping over so that he’s no longer upside down.
“Never better.”
“Good. Do it again.”
The smile immediately drops from my face. I wait for him to laugh—he doesn’t. “What?”
“That was only the practice round, Milena. You’ve still got three more to go.”
My legs are weak and my arms feel like they’ll give way simply holding a glass of water above my head. I want nothing more than to lie in a warm bathtub, close my eyes, and succumb to fatigue. But there’s a gleam in his eye, something that stops me from walking right out the door and going to sleep. Like he’s daring me to try it again. And so, with shaky arms and quivering knees, I push to my feet and hobble back to the beginning.
~
My nightmares are filled with red. Darius’s hands scratching at my throat; my stained fingers at his chest, widening the gaping hole there. He screams and cries. His eyes roll back in his head.
His family stands over his body, wailing. Bodies press down on top of me. My fingers scrape at skin, drawing blood. And then my dagger is lodged in their chests and they’re falling over, blood seeping into the white of the snow. Over and over and over.
I wake in a layer of sweat. My legs are tangled in a rope of sheets and I clutch at my throat, twisting at the red painted against my eyelids. Stumbling from the bed to the bathroom, I knock my head on the doorway and lean over the sink, pushing my sweat-drenched hair from my face as voices echo in my head. My hands shake as I turn on the tap and splash icy water on my face.
There’s a knock on the door.
“Milena?” I freeze, then splash my face once more, trying to compose myself as I pat it dry. When I open the door, Elias is standing there with a fist raised as if he’s about to knock again. He enters, eyes immediately darting around the room as if surveying for some type of threat. “What happened?”
“What?”
His eyes scan from the tip of my head to my feet. “I heard you screaming.”
I fidget with the hem of the shirt I’m wearing, feeling incredibly uncomfortable as I stand in front of him, my hair a wild mess and my mind still shaken up. “I’m fine. I had a bad dream, that’s all.”
“About Charles?”
“Darius.” I sit on the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet up over my bare legs before looking back at him. “Eric says it gets easier with time . . . killing. But I don’t want it to get easier. I don’t want to kill enough hollowers that it has to get easier.”
Elias snaps to, coming to stand in front of me. “Don’t listen to Eric.”
“But—”
“It affects him the same way it affects everyone else. It never gets any easier, you just get better at dealing with it.”
“That’s horrible.”
“That’s life.”
“I don’t want that life. I don’t want to kill anyone.”
He lets out an exaggerated breath and rubs the back of his neck. “And I hope you don’t have to. But it isn’t that simple; sometimes life chooses for us.” The silence that fills the room is comfortable, any awkwardness stolen by the hum of energy that follows Elias wherever he goes.
“What’re we going to do if the other elders can’t help?”
“Don’t worry yourself over that.”
“Of course I’m worried about it. Do you have a plan? If they can’t help?”
“I don’t know, Milena.” He shakes his head. “But we’ll figure something out.”
It’s unreasonable of me to expect Elias to provide me with all the answers to my questions, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting him to.
“You should get some sleep,” Elias says, letting go of the bed frame. “You must be tired from your training today.” My body aches and my muscles cry, but I know that I won’t sleep, not again. “Good night, Milena.”
I don’t want to be alone. But my pride is greater than my fear, so I bite my tongue to keep from asking him to stay. “Good night.”
~
I don’t see Elias or Eric for the next four days. The hollowers don’t make any moves; Cassia spends half her time organizing the First Run ceremony and the other half helping me train.
Each morning she comes to my bedroom, brings me breakfast, and instructs me to meet her in the training center. Apparently, Elias signed me up to the class of fourteen-year-olds that Cassia usually teaches. And despite the brutal consequences felt after that first training session, a small part of me hopes to see him there again.
But he never comes.
“Try to punch anybody with that and you’ll break your hand.” I face Aliyah, a petite brunet with impressively muscular arms—the exact kind of upper body strength Elias taunted me for lacking. There are three instructors for this class: Cassia leads it, and her shifter friends Aliyah and Bastian help out.
“What’s wrong with it?” I ask.
Aliyah steps toward me, nodding to the group of kids standing in front of Cassia, all making identical fists. “Do it like that.”
Since Cassia leads the group, she’s usually busy with the kids, and Aliyah or Bastian gets stuck with me—the least competent in the group. But I don’t mind—the welcome I got from the two of them was much warmer than the whispers and stares I got from the kids.
“Knuckles folded over your palm, thumb crossed over your fingers,” she reminds me, demonstrating with her own fists. I copy her movements, flashing a smile as I mimic the kids in front of Cassia. I lead with my hips and throw my fist at Aliyah, aiming for her throat—the soft parts of her body, just like she taught me. She catches my fist before it hits her, lowering it and smiling. “Better.”
“Better than what?” Bastian says as he comes toward us with a glass of water, wiping his hand on his forehead. “A six-year-old?
Because that’s not much of an accomplishment.”
Bastian is a mousy-brown, stocky man with a large nose and a very strong jawline. He’s the polar opposite to Eric—I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bastian without a smile.
“Hey,” I say defensively. “I’m trying.”
“Trying to give a high five?” I punch his arm but he doesn’t even flinch.
Cassia comes over to us, wiping her hands on her pants.
“Everything all right?”
The kids are packing up their things and starting up the twisting staircase that leads to the foyer. Bastian flicks my cheek with his thumb. “I’m just giving Milena some helpful tips.”
“You and I have very different definitions of helpful.” I laugh.
“You guys want to get some lunch? I’m starving,” Aliyah says.
Bastian stretches his arms above his head and starts for the exit. “I’m in.”
Aliyah looks at Cassia while putting her hair into a messy bun atop her head. “Cass?”
“Can’t. Elias has me running all over the place trying to organize the First Run tonight. Maybe next time.”
“Milena?”
I hesitate. Honestly, the thought of going into the village petrifies me. I know what people here think of me, and I can ignore it so long as I stay in the castle. But venturing outside means immersing myself in the judgment and hate. Thankfully, Cassia comes to my rescue. “Milena’s helping me,” she says. “We’ll see you at the ceremony tonight.”
Aliyah sighs, mumbling something about Cassia always being too busy before disappearing from view. “You really want me to help you?” I ask.
Cassia nods. “I’m getting bored out of my mind all alone in that office. Your company will be much appreciated.”
“Where is he, anyway?”
“Elias? He and Eric went back up the mountain. They’ll be back tonight in time for the ceremony.”
“Back up the mountain? What? Why?”
“They went to get Ana’s body, to bury her.” She pauses. “There were also mor
e books there. They might be important.”
“When will he leave for the coast?”
She shrugs, brushing her hands on her pants. “We’re trying to plan his trip to the elders but we have to be careful. We don’t want to lead the hollowers to them and get more people killed before we get there.”
“What do you think?” I ask. “Do you think the hollowers are just mistaken?”
“I don’t know.” She sighs. “All I know is, it’s a lot of fuss over someone if you aren’t one hundred percent totally confident.”
I mull over her words as we clamber up the stairs and spill into the foyer, following her as we make our way through the labyrinth of rooms toward the library. I know she’s right. I might not be a wisper, but that doesn’t mean the hollowers have made a mistake. Why go through twenty years of raising someone you’re only going to kill if you aren’t positive that you need them? It seems like a lot of hassle over a maybe.
Once we’ve settled into the sofas in the library, Cassia gives me a few mindless tasks that don’t require reading. I can’t keep my mind from drifting to Elias. Right from the beginning, he was mysterious and filled with secrets. But the more time I spend with him, the more I feel like I know him. Little fragments of his personality shine through his hard exterior, and each little piece I hold close to my chest, afraid he’ll close off for good, like how I thought he might when he snapped at me in the forest.
You don’t need to know me and I don’t need to know you.
And now I’m afraid of Elias for a new reason. I’m not scared because I know he can rip my head off, or because he might stop protecting me. I’m scared because the more I think about him, the more wrapped up he gets in my heart. And just like those hollowers in the forest whose hearts lay separate from their bodies, I’m giving him the opportunity to rip mine right out of my chest.
Chapter Eleven
After spending most of the afternoon scouring pages of books I can barely read and coming up empty, I finally give in to Cassia and agree to go to the First Run. The entire village dresses up for the celebration, which is why I’m wearing a silky, long-sleeved blue dress that reaches just past my knees. It’s soft against my skin and shimmers when I move. When Cassia first pulled it out, I was entranced by the way it flowed through the air. I’d never seen a piece of clothing so beautiful.
“Will you stop fussing?” Cassia swats at my hands. “You’re going to ruin all my hard work.”
I follow her through the castle halls, pulling at the pins stabbing my head. “It’s just so uncomfortable.” One comes loose and my hair tumbles around my shoulders. “Oops.”
“Oops? You definitely did that on purpose.” She continues down the hall, the bottom of her dress swaying elegantly with her every step. I never thought I’d see her in one, but the loose, black dress she wears looks stunning. As we descend the staircase, distant music wafts through the foyer. “Hurry!” she says.
“It’s starting.”
She pulls me around the side of the castle.
As we round the corner, the celebration comes into view, red pulsing from a large fire, reaching to the sky. There are clusters of people around the fire, all barefoot and dressed in similarly silky garments. A group gathered on the far side of the clearing hold instruments, poised and ready to play as the villagers gather around them. And then I see Elias. He stands on a raised podium on the other side of the fire pit wearing dark pants and a long-sleeved white shirt, the top of it open, revealing his toned, scarred chest. My stomach flips as his eyes scan the crowd. Cassia pulls me through the gathering of murmurs and sour expressions until we reach the fire, the warmth biting back at the cold air.
“Welcome to the First Run!” Elias calls, his declaration evoking cheers. “We’re here to celebrate those shifting for the first time this year. Due to unavoidable circumstances, the run will be inside our territory and led by the guards. But don’t let this stunt our festivities.” He turns and nods at a group of people at the front. “And now, to the runners. I present to you Maria!”
A young girl dressed all in white steps up to the podium, her cheeks stained pink as the crowd cheers in triumph. Elias continues to call names and one by one they gather on the stage to equal fanfare. The crowd chatters as the runners bounce eagerly on the balls of their feet. I watch as they head off the podium toward a group of men and women who wait at the forest edge.
And then they disappear from view. I turn to Cassia. “That was anticlimactic.”
She laughs. “The celebration hasn’t started yet. We wait until they get back to start celebrating. This is all for them, after all.”
I step closer to her, moving away from the fire. It’s so hot it’s nearly unbearable to be so close, and the smoke makes my throat constrict. More murmurs capture my attention, but when I glance at the group of girls responsible, they simply giggle and dart their eyes away, turning their backs to whisper among one another. Cassia tugs on my arm. “Ignore them, Milena.”
“I’m trying, but—”
“But nothing. They’re bored and have nothing better to do than gossip.” She glares over her shoulder at the group of giggling girls and they all look down. “Oh look! There’s Bastian and Aliyah!”
She yanks me through the crowd. With Cassia’s words in mind, I hold my chin high and avoid looking around me, painfully conscious of the stares that follow us.
“Milena?” Aliyah looks gorgeous in a silver, floor-length dress that displays her enviable, muscular arms. “Elias said you were thinking of staying back.”
“Staying cooped up in a room gets old after a while.”
Bastian nudges me with a bright grin. “We’re glad you’re here.”
“It seems like you’re the only ones.”
“Ignore them,” Aliyah says.
“Easier said than done,” Bastian says, rubbing the side of his head. “I know how you feel, Milena. I was the talk of the village a few months back because I spent a glorious night with a beautiful woman.”
Aliyah laughs. “You deserved to be the center of gossip for a while. She was married, Bastian.”
“I didn’t know!”
“They never do.”
Bastian opens his mouth to retort but he’s interrupted by the call of a loud horn. My immediate reaction is to stumble backward, my heart thumping in my chest. But Cassia presses her fingers to the inside of my wrist. “Calm down. It just means the shifters are back.”
The group emerges from the tree line, their clothes dirtied, torn, and pulled haphazardly over their heads. But it’s hard to focus on their clothes when their eyes are alight with joy, smiles stretched to their ears. The crowd around me cheers, throwing their arms into the air as the musicians start to play. The joy is contagious.
I can’t stop grinning as the crowd around me dances and those who have newly shifted embrace their friends and family. “That was fast,” I say.
Cassia nods. “It’s hard to stay shifted long when you first do it.”
I scan the crowd until my gaze lands on Elias. He stands with a group of people by the fire, laughing at something, his entire face illuminated. He looks ethereal.
“What now?” I ask absentmindedly, staring at Elias. His eyes catch mine and he tips his head, smile widening.
“Now,” Bastian says, “we dance.”
He takes my wrist and pulls me toward him, Cassia and Aliyah trailing behind as he spins me in circles and flips me under his arms. Laughter bubbles up from inside my chest.
I love to dance. Sometimes, while the hunters were gone, Wilhelm would play his rickety ukulele in the village center. Flo and I would spin in circles, dipping under one another’s arms until we were laughing so hard our stomachs hurt. Dancing fills me with euphoria. It makes me feel like nothing could ever go wrong. As Aliyah grips my hand and spins me under her arm while Bastian dips her backward, heat spreads all the way to my fingertips. Next, Bastian spins Cassia so hard that she stumbles over his feet and lands on her hands and knees on the
ground.
I don’t get to laugh for very long because soon he’s spinning me until my squeals die and my insides hurt from laughing.
Nobody else matters then. It doesn’t matter that people here don’t like me. When the music plays and people dance, it all fades into the background. And then, in my seemingly endless spin, I trip over my own feet and bump into someone. I gaze up at the culprit, familiar eyes burning into mine.
“Hey, sorry.”
Elias puts his hands on my forearms to steady me. “I see that your balance hasn’t gotten any better.”
“I’ll have you know I’ve been training very hard, thank you very much.”
“Cassia did mention that.” He holds me steady.
“I bet I could take you on now.”
“Is that so?”
I swing my fist toward his throat. He catches it before it reaches him, and in one swift movement, twists my arm behind my back and spins me around so that my back is to his chest.
With one arm he holds mine securely against my back while the other snakes its way around my throat. My heart stutters to a near stop. “You sure about that?” His breath sends tendrils of anticipation through my body.
“You just wait until you see me take on that obstacle course.
Maybe you’ve met your match.”
His hand loosens around my neck and he spins me back around. His smile is less teasing now, transforming into something soft. He steps closer, fingers trailing my arm, looping around the strap of my dress. “Maybe I have.”
He’s so close it makes my head spin. After days of not seeing him, playing his words over and over in my mind, it doesn’t feel real to stand in front of him right now, to have a night that’s so perfect when my life is so filled with chaos. A bloodcurdling scream fills the air and the hum of energy abruptly halts. The music cuts off and silence spreads over the villagers as the joy and euphoria that filled the air immediately evaporate. Elias wraps a hand around my arm and pushes me behind him. He faces the forest, shoulders rigid, head held high. The village holds a collective breath, our eyes on the forest.
Creatures of the Night Page 13
