by Rimmy London
When they entered, it was to the chaotic sounds of phones ringing and teachers and students rushing through. Chase glanced across the faces behind the counter, wondering which one would be the most likely to make time for something like this. Ava danced around them as they waited.
"Can I help you?" A woman was walking toward them from an office door. She sat aside a computer screen and smiled back at them.
"Yes, I need to see if you can help me locate a friend from when I was in school here?" Abby leaned over the counter, looking eager.
"Well, we don't normally do record searches unless it's for yourself. What type of information were you looking for?"
"Anything." Abby glanced back at Chase, shrugging. "Whatever you could share with me."
The woman began typing on her computer. "I suppose I could see what we've got. What date was this?"
"It was twelve years ago…" Abby hesitated when the woman glanced up. "Or so."
"I see," She clicked the mouse a few times. "And the name?"
"Kyle Abbott." Abby's voice was low, as if saying his name too loud would be harmful.
"Hmm." She clicked the mouse again before typing something and sighing mightily. "Oh, dear. I'm sorry, I don't have anything. A couple hundred files somehow became corrupted last week—we're still working on figuring it out." She adjusted her glasses and clicked harder on the mouse, shaking it. "Would you like me to take your information and give you a call if I can find anything?"
Chase watched Abby's shoulders slump. "No, thanks so much for trying." She turned to leave, taking Ava's hand as the toddler skipped alongside. He hesitated, looking from the office woman to Abby and Ava. It was such a rotten turn of luck! He scribbled his name and number down and slid it under the glass window. "Just in case," he whispered, hurrying to catch up to Abby. But when he did, she let all her discouragement out.
"I think you're right Chase, this is completely ridiculous. I don't know what I was thinking, we need to do something." She walked swiftly to their car.
"I never said it was ridiculous." He stepped in front of her just as she reached for the door. "Hold on, what do you mean?"
She blew a breath out, sending strands of hair sailing away from her face. "What medications are there for people like me?"
"People like you?" He lifted an eyebrow.
"Yeah, crazy ones."
He scooped her into his arms, feeling a shock of fear through his core. "Abby, you're not crazy," he whispered, lifting Ava into his arms before she could run around the car.
"Then what in the world is going on?" Her voice was so discouraged. He searched for tears in her eyes, but there were none. Just an empty, dark defeat. He searched his mental pharmacy for anything that might help.
"There is something," he offered. "A very mild dose that calms and centers your mind. It's very successful for most people with heightened anxiety."
"Is that what you think I have?" Abby's eyes were desperately searching out his face. He nodded reassuringly. "I'm pretty certain." With a sigh, she squeezed around him and opened the door, pausing with one foot in. "Okay then, let's get some on the way home."
Abby took a pill the moment he returned from the pharmacy. She reclined in her chair and fell asleep. Even when they stopped at the park, with Ava cheering and shouting about the swings, she slept through it. Chase pushed Ava in the swings while glancing back at the car window repeatedly, but Abby didn't budge an inch. She slept the entire way home. Chase was feeling more anxious than he could remember, his heart beating wildly the whole way. What if he was wrong? There might have been some ex-boyfriend coming back to seek his revenge, enacting strange feats of deceit and forgery, while managing to wipe his school records off the database.
He uttered a soft groan. It was too much of a stretch. Besides, Daylon never even asked for anything in return; he only wanted a job. And now that Abby was suffering so intensely, it seemed to be perfect timing. They could use a bit of a break.
Stopped at a red light, Chase reached for his phone and typed out a text quickly, asking Daylon to email over a contract. He was ready to partner. Just as the light turned green, he typed up another text, sending it to his secretary and asking her to clear his patients for the rest of the week. He set a hand gently over Abby's. Whatever was going on with her, she needed him. He drove the final stretch of the trip deep in thought, devising fun and stress-free activities, planning her favorite meals, and making mental notes of her favorite restaurants. A few days of hiking, family, and food was bound to do a lot of good.
His stomach continued to turn, and his heart continued to race when they pulled up to Poppyridge Inn. He tried to force down his nerves and smile. As soon as she woke up, he took her into his arms. "Abigail, I love you."
She sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck. They felt heavier than usual, likely a side effect of the medication. But at least she was at ease, the way she trailed her hand along his back and into his hair. Her adoration of his blond curls always made him smile, and now, as she tangled her fingers through them, he felt a flood of relief. Things would be okay; they would figure this out.
Above all, they needed to rely on each other.
Chapter 11
Abby felt a flood of emotions, love and gratitude, shame and embarrassment. They all swarmed inside her, although it didn't cause the usual reactions. Instead of tearing up, she used excessive effort to smile at Chase on their way into the house. And instead of her hands shaking at the fact that she'd been horribly wrong, there was nothing. Her body felt completely still. Too still. She was exhausted.
"Why don't you go lie down for a little while?" Chase kissed her cheek, carrying Ava to the kitchen table. "I'll let you know when dinner's ready."
"Oka.," Abby hadn't felt particularly like going to sleep, but with the suggestion, her mind had accepted it. She changed course as if programmed to obey, and up she went. The stairs were relentless, feeling twice the size they were that morning. She kept at it until reaching the top, immediately grateful for Chase's suggestion.
Wandering into the bedroom, she hardly took notice of the clock on the dresser. It displayed the time, 6:30 p.m. Not the ideal hour to be taking a nap, for sure. But Abby's eyes closed the moment her head touched the pillow. She was asleep in seconds.
Waking up felt like more work than she'd ever known, as if she'd been asleep for a lifetime. Her eyes refused to budge as she worked to open them to slits of vision. Finally, she lifted them enough to catch a glimpse of her bedroom. A dusky, soft glow reflected off the walls, and smells from downstairs told her dinner was ready. She stumbled out of bed and wrapped herself in a throw blanket, shuffling to the mirror.
Her head was clearer than the night before, making her disappointment sting for the first time. The memory of driving into the dirt lot and finding the building vanished, plus the high school records. Abby sighed and glanced down at a bottle on her dresser. The pills. She popped one in her mouth and swallowed. At least they would keep her mind from wandering off to imaginary memories. She couldn't believe Chase had driven all the way out there. What must he think of her now?
She wandered down the stairs, hoping the pills would work in a matter of minutes. But as she glanced around, she realized with a start that it was morning. Her feet shuffled to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, and she gazed out at the redwood trees adorned in bright sunshine. Her head turned slowly to see Chase standing with his back to her, flipping pancakes on a griddle. Ava sat at a barstool, grabbing pieces of powdered sugar-dusted pancake off her plate.
"Did I sleep all night?"
Chase turned around, wearing his Kiss the cook apron. "You did." He set down the spatula and wrapped his arms around her. The aroma of cinnamon and vanilla wafted from him, and Abby's stomach growled. "Looks like you're finally ready to eat something?" He laughed, taking the spatula up again. "Good thing, too, because I made way too much."
Abby wanted to make things right. She felt horrid for sending him on an absolute goose h
unt, and here he was being an angel about it. She sat down and loaded a plate with pancakes, kissing Ava on top of her silky head.
The first fluffy bite was heaven, trailing hot and filling down her throat. "Mmm." She nodded at Chase when he turned around, waiting until she was able to swallow the oversized bite to speak. "It's delicious." She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so hungry, she took a few more bites.
"So, I was thinking we could do some hiking today." Chase unplugged the electric skillet and brought his plate to the table, running his hand affectionately across Ava's head as he passed her highchair. "What do you think?"
Abby swallowed another bite and took the time to meet his eyes, smiling as gratefully as she could. "I'd love that."
A few guests walked by, and they waved hello on their way to the back patio. "Have a good time," Chase called. When someone knocked on the front door, he glanced back at his plate longingly.
"I'll get it." Abby jumped up. "You eat." She raised an eyebrow at him as if her request was a demand.
"Yes, ma'am." He smiled, cutting a large bite out of his stack of pancakes.
When Abby got to the door, she was beginning to feel her head sinking a little. No doubt, the medication was working, pulling her reactions into some sort of confinement until there was only action. Moving, doing… nothing else.
She opened the door.
"Hello again."
It took her a moment to recognize the man standing in front of her as Daylen. At first, she wanted to say Kyle, but the thought was easily dismissed. It floated away without any resistance, and she thanked the medication for doing its job, repeating to herself that this was Daylen, a friend.
"Hello." She reached a hand out, shaking his without hesitation. "Nice to see you again, Daylen." She thought his eyes had flinched at his name, but perhaps he hadn't expected her to remember.
"Your husband had me send over a contract, which I did, but I was hoping I'd be able to chat with you both in person one last time?" He smiled. "Were you able to look over the references I sent you?"
"Oh, yes." Abby thought back to what felt like years ago, scanning through websites with glowing recommendations of his company. "I did."
"And did you read through the reviews?" His eyebrows lifted as if awaiting her answer anxiously.
"Er, no." She glanced back at Chase, seeing he'd cleared his plate and was on his way to join them. "I actually didn't read through those, but I did see that your company was given very high ratings."
"Ah, that's a pity," his voice had lowered. "The reviews are very telling." His eyes peered steadily into hers. "I hoped you'd spent the time to read them."
Suddenly feeling like a child being scolded, she wasn't sure how to respond. Luckily, Chase appeared at the front door next to her, shaking Daylen's hand.
"Hello, come in." Chase gestured for him to enter, and Abby easily dismissed the discomfort of his rebuke. It vanished obediently. She was eager to give him another chance, especially now that her imagination was under control.
"What was it you wanted to discuss?" She sat next to Chase, enjoying the way his hand automatically tangled with hers, although her heart didn't flutter like it usually did. In fact, nothing fluttered. She felt unusually hollow inside.
Daylen sat across from them in the living room, where they could keep an eye on Ava as she ate. He searched through his briefcase. "I'd like for this contract to have as much of an impact on both our businesses as possible." He handed them each a few pages of paper stapled together. "I'm inviting you both to tour our facility next week when I go for my annual visit."
Abby glanced down, flipping through the few pages to see pictures and descriptions of the facility in Mexico. It looked very clean and brand new.
"You don't have to decide right away, although I do believe it would be a great way for you to see the moving parts of this company. It's my pride and joy. I brought a few baskets for you to display in your guest rooms as well. I'll leave those with you before I go." Daylen adjusted in his seat, looking ready to make his exit.
"We'll look this over," Chase said. "I have clients next week, so it might be hard to get away—"
"I'll go." Abby shrugged. The thought was simple enough, not threatening in the least. In fact, she couldn’t believe all the fears she’d allowed in her mind. They’d been controlling her, wreaking havoc. Now, thanks to a little mind-centering medication, she could see how foolish her paranoia had been. There wasn’t an ounce of tension inside her body now.
Plus, Chase had taken time off to be with her. It would be very hard for him to take more time off from his practice, and it would hardly seem professional. "I don't mind." She turned to Chase, seeing the resistance in his eyes. No doubt, he didn’t think she was capable of raising their child let alone leaving the country. But now that her mind was clear, she was determined to change that look in his eyes. "Your parents could watch Ava, and I'm sure it wouldn't be more than a couple days."
"A few at the most," Daylen added, standing. "But I'll let you two talk it over. I'd be happy to have you." His eyes darted back and forth between Abby and Chase before he took a quick step back. "I understand this is late notice. So, whatever you decide. Have a nice day."
They shook hands again, and Abby remembered to smile, the action feeling completely disconnected to her feelings. Just an obedient movement of her lips.
"We might want to think about this, Abby." Chase held her arms and looked deeply into her eyes. "I can tell you're not feeling like yourself. Did you take another pill today?"
"I did." She said it in response to his question, on command. It didn't feel strange to respond to him without any emotion, but she could tell he wasn't happy. "Isn't that good?" Her confusion came through with her hands lifted onto her hips. "It's doing just what it was supposed to, calming me. I'm not anxious anymore."
"Yes, but what do you feel? Anything?" He trailed his fingertips along her cheek, tracing down her neck.
She didn't move.
"I don't like it, Abby. Don't go." He lifted her hands in his. "We don't need to, anyway. We already know it's a great company, right? And if it ends up not fitting well with Poppyridge, we can just cancel our business with them. No big deal."
"Yeah." Abby nodded. "Let's do that." She didn't care one way or the other. Like a pendulum swinging, it was just a change of direction, and her determination to prove herself vanished easily… Although, she'd wanted to make it up to Daylen and Chase. But if this was what Chase wanted, she was fine with it. "Should we go hiking?"
Chase gave her a questioning look, not answering right away. But Ava began squirming in her seat, attempting to climb out. Abby walked over and freed her from the highchair, setting her on the floor where she hurried away, bent on a destination only she knew.
"Hold on, little miss." Chase laughed. Ava squealed, pumping her arms faster just as Chase scooped her into his. "Want to go hike in the trees?"
"Tees?" Ava arched her back until she was upside down, looking out the windows at the redwoods. She stretched her arm out, pointing. "Tees!"
Abby kissed her chubby cheeks. "Let's go." She loved Ava's happiness and the way it was always bubbling over, but the usual rush of affection she would normally experience didn't come. It was like her joy was only deep enough for her to vaguely recognize it, leaving her feeling strangely unattached to the moment.
The thought of taking another pill wasn't enticing.
They redirected Ava and followed her out the front door, Abby and Chase each carrying with them a small pack filled with snacks and water bottles. There was also a small first aid kit and lots of extra socks—Chase had always been adamant about that. A memory of a poorly planned scout campout was to blame. The thought always made Abby smile, but not this time.
"I've always loved the smell out here." Chase was walking next to her, Ava rushing ahead as much as her little legs would allow. "The trees are so fragrant, the way the moss and ferns drip with moisture to create a woodsy, organic
scent. It's very distinct."
Abby noticed it all, along with the pale blue of the sky and the warmth of the sunshine on the back of her neck. Still, the happiness she was used to stayed away, hidden behind this new formula in her veins. Was she so dysfunctioning that she had to be kept from any feeling outside of boredom? She ached to feel excited or in love, or angry—she'd even find pleasure in being sad.
They walked for a long time in silence, but it didn't bother her. Of course it didn't. She watched Ava run back to them with her pigtails bouncing, the sight bringing her as much joy as watching a stick on the ground. She made a decision that instant, one she already knew she would commit to.
"I think I'll go see the warehouse with Daylen." Her thoughts sounded uninteresting even to her, but Chase reacted to them.
His head jerked to the side, and he remained fixed on her for a few seconds of silence. "I thought we decided that wasn't necessary." He sounded cautious as if he were testing the water with his toes. Abby watched to see if he would shiver.
"Yeah, it's not necessary, but I'd still like to. There's no harm in it, and I know you'd be busy here with your patients that you rescheduled from this week." She smiled at him, wishing she could feel the gratitude his kindness and concern should have brought. "I want to prove that I can do this, Chase."
His hazel eyes studied her face and finally, he nodded. "Well, Daylen did say it was a fairly quick trip."
Ava held up a mountain flower, and Abby smelled it dramatically. "Mmm." She kissed Ava's tiny nose. "Smells yummy."
"Nummy?" Ava looked down at the blossom for a moment and then licked a petal.
Chase laughed, hugging Ava's small shoulders. "No, Avey, it smells yummy. But it doesn't taste yummy. We don't eat flowers, do we?"
"No." Ava laughed, looking back at Abby. "No eat it, Mommy."
"Oh, okay. I won't eat it."
They wandered the forest for most of the afternoon, something that normally would have filled Abby's cup to overflowing. But it simply existed, there was no joy gathering in her heart. With each passing moment, Abby committed to figuring things out, to healing her mind. She would go to Mexico and prove to herself that Kyle had not come back to haunt her. He likely never thought of her again. Maybe he never even existed, who knew? But one thing she was determined to do, was to get back to her happily ever after. Chase and Ava, Poppyridge Cove. It was all a combined dream come true, and somehow, she'd lost sight of it. Deep down, she could feel that this act of going with Daylen and signing their contract would set things right.
