Hold on Tight

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “Sounds like you might want to take a bit of that advice.”

  Ace laughed. “Too late now.” His voice softened. “I wouldn’t want to change a thing now, anyway. I’m excited.”

  “What about your boy? Does Finn know yet?”

  “Nope. Meredith was a little weepy and shell-shocked about it. I thought we should wait a bit.”

  “She’s been crying?”

  “Yes, but in a good way.” He shook his head a little. “I had forgotten, but Finn’s mother Liz was a crier when she was carrying him. I guess hormones are hormones.”

  “Beth cried all the time, too. I practically had to forbid her from watching Hallmark commercials,” he said before remembering that he usually didn’t like to mention her name.

  “I forgot about sappy commercials. I’m gonna warn Meredith about them.”

  “Don’t think that will do much good. My advice is to buy more Kleenex.”

  “Will do.” Looking pleased, Ace said, “I’m glad you’ve just been through all this.”

  “Kate’s three, not three months. Most of my memories of all that have faded.” He also tried not to think about Beth’s pregnancy too much.

  “But still, that’s a lot more recently than fifteen. Plus, you know I never lived with Liz. I can ask you questions.”

  “Ask me anything you want, though I don’t know how much I’ll be able to help you.” Realizing how little he did remember about Beth’s pregnancy, Jackson felt a lump form in his throat. “I was so freaked out about bills that I was hardly ever around. I took every extra shift that I could.”

  Ace’s expression sobered. “I remember that. You about killed yourself.”

  Usually Jackson loathed that expression, but in this case he figured Ace wasn’t wrong. He’d ended up spending the majority of Beth’s pregnancy exhausted, eventually getting some kind of bug that almost took him to the hospital. And for what? Two years after that, she was gone. “It was stupid. I was so worried about staying out of debt that I forgot how much I had to be grateful for. If I could live those nine months over again, I’d do things a lot differently.”

  “I know that, buddy,” he said quietly. After a sip of tea, he said, “Anyway, we’re telling Finn tomorrow night.”

  “How do you think he’s going to take it?”

  “Probably the same way as you, me, and Mer did. He’s going to be a little shocked.”

  “Maybe a little more than that.”

  Ace grinned. “Maybe. Or maybe not. Finn’s pretty busy with football, Touchdown, and his girlfriend right now.”

  “Y’all planning a wedding?”

  Ace nodded. “If I had my way, I would have taken Meredith on down to the courthouse the day we found out.”

  “Let me guess, Meredith wasn’t down with that?”

  “Not at all. She wants a real wedding, one with all the bells and whistles. Since this will be both of our first weddings, I told her she can plan whatever she wants—as long as it takes place soon.”

  Thinking of his wedding that had started out being plain and simple but had ended up including half of Spartan, Jackson chuckled. “Be careful. Before you know it, you’re going to be paying for fancy cakes and more flowers than you ever believed possible.”

  “If Meredith smiles at me when she walks down that aisle, anything she wants will be worth it. I want her happy.” Standing up, he gestured toward the door leading out to the patio. “Want to come out back and tell me about you?”

  “Sounds good. Let me check on Kate.”

  “Check on her if you want, but I think we both know she’s sitting with a puppy and Finn and watching Scooby-Doo. Plus, Allison will be over shortly, and she’s good with Kate. Your little girl is in good hands.”

  “I guess you’re right.” He didn’t want to take advantage of Finn, but he knew that Ace had a good point.

  “I know I am.” Opening the door, he said, “Come on out, it’s finally warm enough to be comfortable.”

  Jackson followed Ace out, feeling slightly guilty about leaving Kate in Finn’s hands but knowing that Ace was right.

  The moment he sat down, Ace leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “So, how are you doing?”

  “Good enough.” When Ace still eyed him intently, Jackson added, “Relax. Things are all right.”

  “Sorry, but ‘good enough’ and ‘all right’ doesn’t sound that good.”

  “Well, it is. I mean, it’s good enough right now. I’ve got a job and place to live and Kate’s happy. That’s enough.” It was sure a lot better than it had been a year ago.

  “I know Kate’s happy … but what about you?”

  Jackson was getting a little tired of being psychoanalyzed on a Sunday afternoon. “What do you mean? I just told you how I was. I’m fine.”

  “I mean, are you on your way to being happy?”

  Jackson didn’t know the answer to that question, but he sure didn’t come over to bring Ace down. “Maybe.”

  “How about you be honest with me?” Ace rested his elbows on his knees as he looked at him straight in the eye. “Remember, I only moved here seven months ago.”

  “Not to be a shit friend, but you and I both know my situation is different. You came here with a lot of money in the bank and turned a good job into an even better one. You own a company now. You own a house. I lost my job doing the only thing I knew how to do well. Now I’m working at a bar for a whole lot less than I used to and trying to take care of a little girl who lost her mother.”

  Ace winced.

  Jackson sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you.”

  “Cookie, Kate is okay.”

  It had been a while since he’d heard Ace call him that. Hearing it made some of the tension he’d been carrying lessen. “Kate’s doing as good as can be expected.”

  Still looking pained, Ace said, “Buddy, I was with you when Beth got sick. I was with you the day she died. I helped carry her coffin. Almost two years have gone by, but I haven’t forgotten.”

  Neither had he. “She was my wife. I loved her.”

  “I know you did. Just like I know that she never blamed you for working so much. There was no one more proud of you, man. Beth used to tell people all the time about how lucky she was that you wanted to give her and Kate a good life.”

  Jackson felt tears form in his eyes and blinked them away. Hating that he could still cry at the memories, he shook his head. “We’re not talking about this.”

  “What I’m trying to tell you is that Kurt, me, and the other guys have all watched how you’ve been handling things. All of us have been ready to step in if you needed it. If you needed anything.”

  “I know that, and it was appreciated.”

  “What I’m trying to tell you is that you should be proud, Jackson. Kate is a sweet, happy little girl. I know she lost her momma, but she didn’t lose her dad.”

  “God has been watching out for her.” Maybe even Beth from heaven. Kate was amazing.

  “I’m sure He has, but you should also be proud of you.” Still staring at him intently, Ace said, “You’re doing okay, Jackson. Maybe not great, but from where I’m standing, you’re doing damn good. Be proud of that.” He lowered his voice. “Man, you went through something horrific but are still standing upright. That says it all.”

  Since all the words in his head were feeling like they were about to choke him, Jackson just nodded. That was probably just as well, too. He appreciated Ace’s sentiment, but he wasn’t real sure that his buddy was seeing him for who he really was.

  Fact was, Jackson wasn’t like Ace, who everybody knew played like he was just a good ol’ boy, but who was smarter than most.

  He wasn’t like Kurt, either. Kurt had recently started his own landscaping business and was actually making a go of it. He, on the other hand, was only a highly s
killed miner without a mine, reduced to serving drinks for minimum wage and tips.

  And while he wasn’t holed up like a hermit missing Beth, he wasn’t exactly moving on either. Though his parents had recently been encouraging him to move on, he didn’t see any need to do that. He’d loved Beth. Why would he want to move on from her?

  “Jackson?”

  He started. “Yeah?”

  “For what it’s worth, try not to overthink it, okay? It sounds like just talk, but I’ve learned that all things seem to happen the way they are supposed to.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. Now, can we talk about something else? Better yet, how about we play some pool?”

  “I’m down for that. Always.”

  Jackson grinned as he followed his longtime buddy back inside and down the stairs.

  Ace was a good friend and really had been at his side during some of the worst days of his life. Now it was time for Jackson to repay the favor. He vowed to be there for him and Meredith over the next couple of months. Planning for a baby and a marriage, all while managing a business and raising a fifteen-year-old, was a lot. Ace might end up needing his friendship just as much as Jackson had needed his.

  CHAPTER 4

  From Les Larke’s

  You, Too, Can Host

  a Poker Tourney:

  Music can help set the tone. Some hosts prefer an

  upbeat, jazzy playlist. Others lean more toward

  good old-fashioned rock and roll.

  Tuesday

  “Dani, thank you so much for everything,” Mrs. Burridge said as she handed Dani an envelope. “The house looks great. You’re the best cleaning lady I’ve ever had.”

  Smiling, though she felt like an arrow had just pierced her side, Dani stuffed the envelope in her purse. “Thank you. That’s nice of you to say.” Inhaling, she tried to think positive thoughts and not let her doubts and fears get the best of her.

  It wasn’t that she was ashamed of being a cleaning lady. She wasn’t. It was good, honest work, and she enjoyed helping other people.

  She was also glad that Mrs. Burridge noticed how hard she worked. But what the lady didn’t realize was that cleaning other people’s homes was not her dream job. Not by a long shot. It was simply a means of getting where she needed to be in the future.

  Walking to the door on four-inch heels, the lady said, “Now that the house is clean, we just have to hope and pray that the caterers come on time.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Whether it was because she heard herself or the amusement in Dani’s tone, Mrs. Burridge looked a little shame-faced. “I know in the grand scheme of things a dinner party doesn’t matter all that much, but you wouldn’t believe how awful my life is going to be if everything goes to hell in a handbasket. I’ll never hear the end of it from my mother-in-law.”

  Stepping through the doorway, Dani smiled. “I’ve come to realize that if it matters to you, then it is important.”

  “Thank you, honey. You always know what to say. Have a good afternoon and tell that boy of yours hello for me.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” After giving Mrs. B. another wave, Dani picked up her tote bag and plastic cubby of supplies and finally walked out to her car, a late model Chevy.

  After she got in and lowered the windows to get a little air, she gave herself a little mental fist pump as she drove down the lengthy driveway at the edge of Indian Hill, the ritziest area of Cincinnati.

  She’d done it. She’d cleaned two houses before two o’clock and she was only eight minutes from her apartment in Bridgeport. She was going to be able to be home when Jeremy got off the bus.

  It had been doubtful there for a while. If Mrs. Burridge was everything fancy and elegant, her first house of the day was a far more modest one on the edge of Bridgeport. Though she cleaned two other houses in the neighborhood once a month, these owners paid her to come every week.

  So the customer, money-wise, was pretty good.

  But oh, she hated going over there. It was a sprawling older ranch with three kids, two cats, and way too much stuff that needed dusting and getting wiped down. The wife had a high-powered job in downtown Cincinnati, so her husband took care of things around the house. That didn’t bother her.

  What did was that he didn’t take care of things all that well and depended on her to do everything when she got there. And that meant everything, even cleaning out the cats’ litter box. She never knew what was going to greet her when she entered, though there was one constant: Reed Moore was always there. He always flirted. And he always made her feel like he was undressing her with his eyes.

  Dani had been tempted to quit more than once. But then every second or third time she cleaned, Reed’s wife, Ashley, would be there, too. Then, Reed would act so different that Dani wondered if she had been imagining things. Or she’d get another referral and pick up another client because of them. Dani was afraid if she dropped them, they might influence everyone else, too.

  This morning had been particularly bad. Reed had followed her from room to room, leaning in the doorways and asking way too many personal questions. After the first hour, she’d gotten so flustered, she’d pointedly said she couldn’t work while he was in the room.

  He’d left, but he hadn’t looked all that pleased about her bossing him around in his own house. Then, to make matters worse, she’d had to ask him for her check, and he’d made her wait almost ten minutes until he “had time” to get it.

  The whole experience had given her the willies.

  Luckily, though, Mrs. Burridge was one of her favorite clients. Though the society lady was a little snooty, she was very nice, paid on time, and always took time to ask how Dani was doing.

  After parking her car in the reserved spot at the apartment complex, Dani realized she hadn’t even opened her envelope. When Dani did, she closed her eyes and gave thanks. Mrs. Burridge had not only given her a sizable tip, she’d written a sweet thank-you note.

  Sweet relief flooded her. She was going to be able to let Jeremy go to the batting cages with two of his buddies on Saturday after all.

  Feeling like she’d just conquered the world single-handedly, she picked up her purse and tote bag and almost ran into Jackson getting his mail next to the entrance to their apartment building.

  “Hey, Dani,” he said, holding little Kate’s hand with one hand and a pile of mail in his other.

  “Hay is for horses,” she teased with a wink at Kate.

  As she’d hoped, Kate’s eyes widened and she giggled. “You’re funny, Miss Dani.”

  She gave them a little bow. “Thank you. It’s an old joke but a good one.”

  “You’re all smiles,” Jackson murmured. “I guess you had a good day?”

  “You know what? I did. It didn’t start out that way, but it ended on a good note. That’s something.”

  “Oh? What good happened?” They waited while she got her mail.

  After tossing her two flyers and one bill into her canvas bag, she smiled at Jackson again. “My last client gave me a real nice tip. It was enough to be able to say yes to Jeremy and the batting cages.”

  Jackson held the door open of the main entrance to their building. “Batting cages, huh? That boy of yours is sure into baseball.”

  “He absolutely loves it.”

  “How long has he been playing baseball, anyway?”

  “Since he was five.” She couldn’t contain the pride in her voice. Through all the moves and insecurity of Brian’s jobs and then his death, she’d been able to provide at least one constant for their son.

  “He must be pretty good.”

  Thinking about the mysteries of batting averages she shrugged. “I don’t know how good Jeremy is, but he’s always looked forward to swinging that bat. He usually hits it pretty far, too.” Realizing she was bragging a bit much, she laughed. “Of course, this
is his mom talking.”

  “Nothing wrong with being a proud mom. I bet your husband was real proud of him, too.”

  “Brian sure was.” She stopped herself before she shared how Brian once spent so much money on a bat that they’d had to eat on the cheap for almost two weeks.

  As they started up the stairs, he murmured, “What position does Jeremy play?”

  “Sometimes catcher, sometimes shortstop.” She shrugged. “He’s super unpicky about what position he plays. The coach seems to be happy about that because he keeps moving him around during the game.” Thinking about how his eyes lit up when he was on the field, she added, “He just likes to play.”

  “I know that feeling, but that’s pretty special.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Only that I’ve never heard of a boy not caring about what position he’s playing. I lived for playing first base.”

  They stopped outside his apartment door. “You played base­ball, too?”

  “Sure did. Until I graduated. Back when I was growing up, I didn’t know a whole lot of boys who didn’t drag out their glove come March. Now, I guess soccer and lacrosse are just as popular.”

  “I don’t know about that. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that I’ve never been all that interested in sports.”

  “Really? I can’t imagine that.”

  She was pretty sure he was teasing, but just in case he wasn’t, she said, “I was the girl taking dance and tumbling classes growing up. I know all about back handsprings and toe shoes, but not so much about soccer shoes.”

  His eyes lit up. “Those would be cleats, Dani.”

  “They wear cleats in soccer, too? Like in baseball?”

  “Yeah, sweetheart. Like in baseball. And football, too.”

  She fumbled with getting her keys out of her purse. He’d called her sweetheart. Realizing that he probably hadn’t even realized he called her an endearment, she shook it off. “Jackson, you better look out. Once I tell Jeremy you know what he’s talking about when it comes to baseball, he’s going to be pestering you with dozens of questions.”