“It’s Thursday night. I can’t leave the bar on a Thursday night. It’s too crowded.”
Some of the heat she’d spied in his eyes cooled. “Of course you can’t. You always put work first.”
Not always. Once, she’d put him first.
But that knowledge stung. And, because she wasn’t as good as she once was, she put in a little jab, too. “Seth, you don’t get to come here unannounced and then give me crap for not dropping everything to see you.”
He shifted his weight. “What if I told you that what I had to say was important? Real important. That I wouldn’t have left the ranch and driven up here to Ohio otherwise?”
“When are you ever going to realize that running a bar is important to me too?” Boy, they’d had this same conversation back when she’d managed a burger joint and he’d wanted her to be free on Saturdays. “I can’t just take off when it’s sure to be filled to capacity. That isn’t the way to treat my customers or the people I hired.”
Dammit, this was her job and her reputation. Just because she wasn’t a teacher or a nurse or an executive in some high-rise in Dallas didn’t mean her goals didn’t matter.
Something new flickered in his light-blue eyes. Maybe it was an acknowledgment that he wasn’t being fair. Maybe it was the realization that whatever he’d come to tell her wasn’t going to be as easy to tell her as he’d previously thought.
“So you’re saying that if I want to see you, I’m out of luck.”
No, that wasn’t what she was saying at all. She’d told him that Thursday night was too busy for her to take off. But what he wasn’t seeing—and maybe never had—was that she probably could get herself out of bed early enough to meet him for a late breakfast or lunch tomorrow. Or anytime on Sunday.
But, just like in the past, Seth Parks always only looked straight ahead. Never turned his head a couple of inches to the right or left, which would have allowed him to see that there was another path to take. It might be a little slower, maybe take a couple of minutes longer, or it might involve a couple of extra turns and a steep hill or two … but it would get him to that same exact spot.
“You heard what I said,” she said at last.
He nodded. “All right then. I guess I’ll see you around.”
“Wait, around? You’re not going back?”
“Not yet. I decided to hang out here for a couple of days.”
“Just to talk?”
“No, just to get some answers.”
“Seth—”
“I’ll be seeing you, Genevieve.” After nodding to her like she was an acquaintance he’d spied in aisle four of the Walmart, he turned and walked away.
Though she knew better, Gen stood and watched him, telling herself it was because she wanted to see if he would turn around. Not that she was checking out the way his backside looked in those Wranglers.
She’d almost fooled herself that she was being super sneaky, too … until she realized that he was watching her reflection in the window pane.
When he grinned, she turned around and braced her hands on the bar. What was she going to do?
“You doing okay, Boss?” Jackson asked he approached.
“No,” she said.
“Anything I can do?”
“Oh, yeah. You can get me a drink.”
Without a word, he pulled down the Maker’s Mark, poured two fingers’ worth in a shot glass, and plunked it down in front of her.
Then Jackson Koch proved he was more than just a pretty face. He didn’t say a single word when she downed the whole thing in one painful swallow.
No, all he did was quietly pour her another one.
CHAPTER 7
From Les Larke’s
You, Too, Can Host
a Poker Tourney:
It’s the host’s responsibility to plan the evening’s events. I suggest doing a mental walk-through of how you’d like the evening to go. For example, when will you serve drinks and snacks?
Friday
“Mom, you never said what you thought,” Jeremy said when they were only about five minutes from home.
Dani tightened her hands on the steering wheel, though she’d been waiting for her son to say something about Coach Edwards’ comment from the moment she’d heard it. She supposed she should be thankful that Jeremy had waited so long to bring up the subject in the first place.
But, even though he’d waited and she’d mentally been preparing herself to hear the question, it still pinched. The coach had recommended Jeremy not only to start on the eighth-grade team, but to join a private baseball club, one of the best in the area. “I don’t think my opinion matters as much as yours. What do you think about what Coach Edwards said?”
Jeremy gaped at her like she had a screw loose. “Coach thinks I can get on the Bats without a problem. He thinks I’m good enough to play first base and maybe even be a relief catcher for them.” His voice quickened. “Mom, you know how much I love catching.”
She smiled. “Oh, I know.” Every time her boy crouched behind home plate, his whole demeanor changed. He went from being serious and quiet to completely engaged. It was like every bit of his body was vibrating, he was so excited to be in the thick of the game.
“So, what do you think I think?” He grinned again.
“Even though I know, I’d still like to hear the words.”
He exhaled. “All right, fine. I want to try out for the Bridgeport Bats and get on that team. I think it’s like the best news ever.” After a pause, he said, “Coach Edwards doesn’t just say things like that, Mom.”
Stopping at the light, she studied him again. “Really?”
“Oh, yeah. If you suck, Coach says you suck. He doesn’t mess around.”
“Let’s use some better language, please.”
“Mom, it’s not that bad.”
“It’s not that good.”
“The guys say it all the time.”
“Maybe not to their mothers.”
“Mom, I’m fourteen …”
As they pulled into the parking lot, she glanced over at her boy, looking so earnest and grown-up all of a sudden. Honestly, it was like she’d given him twenty-five dollars and dropped him off at the batting cages three hours ago, and when she picked him up he’d turned into a young man. “Pick your battles, kid,” she said, half talking to him … and herself. “Either we can talk baseball and club teams, or we can talk about appropriate language to use with your mother.”
“Fine. I’m sorry.”
“Accepted. Now, you were saying about Coach Edwards being a straight shooter?”
He wrinkled his brow. “I was saying that he doesn’t say stuff just to try to make you feel good.”
“So if he says you have a chance to be a great player, it’s true.”
“Yeah. I mean, yes. But he didn’t say I could be a great player, Mom. Only that I could probably do good playing first base or catcher.”
Now, that was interesting—and surprising.
Because even though Coach Edwards hadn’t told Jeremy that, he had told her that Jeremy had real talent. Then, he’d stopped and stared at her, awaiting the appropriate answer.
Unfortunately, Dani hadn’t given him one. Instead, she’d simply stared right back, because she’d known she didn’t have the right words to say.
The fact of the matter was that Jeremy couldn’t play on that special club team. She didn’t know a lot about baseball, but she knew enough about life to guess that everything about the organization was going to be expensive. They had three or four coaches. Private sessions at the cages. Even the uniforms looked expensive. All the boys who’d played on last year’s team even had their names embroidered on the backs of their jerseys.
Those things alone were enough to make her bank account cringe.
But then there were all the pract
ices. And the games! There was something like eighty-four of them.
Why did they even need all those games?
Then there was the traveling to those tournaments—some as far away as Florida. That meant she’d not only have to miss days of work, she’d also have to pay for multiple nights in motels and going out to eat the whole time. Being part of the Bats sounded like they’d be entering a baseball money pit with no end in sight.
But it also had made Jeremy look like he’d gotten season tickets to the Reds and Kings Island at the same time. He loved baseball. He loved being good at something. He loved having something to look forward to after so much in their lives had been so hard.
But, what she needed to do was tell him that it couldn’t happen. It was going to be hard for him to hear, but that’s how life was. Sometimes you just couldn’t do what you wanted to do.
But just as she opened her mouth, she chickened out.
“I’m real proud of you, Jeremy. I agree, it’s terrific that Coach Edwards signaled you and talked about that club team. You’re right, it’s really special.”
“But?” His voice had a note of resignation in it that she knew his shoulders and expression would display, too. After all, hadn’t they had lots of conversations like this over the years?
She sighed. “But I’m still going to have to think about this.”
“I could do more chores around the house. I … I could even watch Kate sometimes for you.”
“I appreciate it.”
“But?”
“But, nothing.” She sighed. “I’m not telling you no, son. I just need some time to think about it, okay?”
Little by little, all the enthusiasm that had shone in his eyes faded. “Yeah. All right.” He unbuckled his seat belt. “Pop the trunk, would ya?”
She pushed the button on the dash. The trunk opened with a satisfying click, just as Jeremy closed his door and walked around to the back. She got out of the car a whole lot more slowly. Boy, she felt old all of a sudden. Old and tired. Why was life so hard?
As she watched Jeremy open the main door to their unit and close it firmly behind him, she reached in the back seat for her purse, then closed her door and simply stood next to the car. She loved being a mom, and she loved Jeremy more than anything in the world. But there were times when she would have paid money to take a day off from motherhood.
Just imagining that someone else would take over for one day—buying food, cooking it, driving Jeremy around, worrying about getting him everything he needed, doing all that laundry, even making him do his homework? That would feel like a vacation to Hawaii.
Shoot, while she was dreaming, she figured she might as well go big. Instead of frantically cleaning other people’s homes, she could go for a walk, get a pedicure, buy a new outfit, and take a long bath. With bubbles. Maybe sip a glass of wine while she soaked? That would be incredible.
Maybe she’d even soak so long that her toes would—
“Hey, is everything okay?”
Startled out of her reverie, Dani blinked. It took her a minute to realize that Gen Schuler from the bar where Jackson worked was talking to her. “Sorry, I was just standing here daydreaming about having a Calgon day.”
The other woman, with her long blond hair and athletic build, grinned. “I’m not sure what that is, but I think I need to hear more about it.”
She laughed, feeling self-conscious. “I was just picturing a day off from my life. It involved a long walk, pedicure, shopping, and a long bubble bath, complete with a glass of wine. Oh, and a vanilla-scented candle!”
Gen’s expression turned almost blissful. “Boy, all you’re missing is chocolate.”
“Ooh! Good point! Let me amend my fantasy. I’m now going to also sit on my couch doing nothing but watching mindless TV and eating a giant slice of chocolate cake.”
A look of longing drifted into Gen’s eyes. “Now you’re talking. When was the last time you had a day like that?”
“That’s easy. Uh, never?”
Gen smiled as she shifted, making the five or six thin silver bangles on her right arm jangle. “I think I had a day like that about three years ago.”
“How was it?”
“Since I still remember what it felt like to sit in a massage chair and watch someone else paint my toes, I’d say it was pretty freakin’ good.” She laughed as she looked down at her legs. She was wearing faded jeans and a pair of tan cowboy boots in need of a good shine. “So, does this mean you’re planning a day like that soon? Because if you are, I’m in. I mean if you want company.”
Thinking about the price of the Bats, and well, life, she shook her head. “Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen any time in the near future.”
“Damn. I was getting excited about having a decent pedicure too.”
She laughed. “If I win the lottery, I’ll give you a call.”
“I’ll look forward to it.” After a pause, Gen said, “On a positive note, at least you’ve got a good man to spend your regular days with. Your Jeremy is as good as it gets.”
She smiled. “I’m pretty partial to him, myself.” Though she didn’t really know Gen all that well, she couldn’t resist sharing what was weighing on her mind. “I’ve not only been imagining taking a break from my life, I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell him something hard.”
“What is it?”
“Nothing too serious in the grand scheme of things. It just has to do with baseball and fancy club teams with crazy price tags.”
Gen nodded as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m one of four kids and three of us played sports. I was in select soccer and I still remember my mom’s expression when she’d come home from the parent meeting with a stack of papers. It was shell-shocked.”
“That’s exactly how I’m feeling, and I haven’t even gotten that paperwork yet.”
“Somehow they all made it work. I played soccer and my brothers played basketball and baseball.”
“What about the other one?”
“Brittany played the flute, which wasn’t any cheaper, believe it or not. Flute lessons and marching camps and band competitions weren’t cheap. Come to think of it, nothing about parenthood seems cheap.”
“I guess they did it all, though?” Though Dani knew Gen was trying to make her feel better, somehow knowing that Gen’s parents took care of the needs of four children didn’t make her difficulties helping one any easier to bear.
“They had help, though. My grandparents helped a lot.” Looking at Dani closely, she said, “Do you have any family who could give you a hand?”
“Not really. I could ask my parents but it’s not worth it. They live in Indiana and are on a pretty tight budget. I can imagine exactly what they’d say if I asked for money. After they told me I was spoiling Jeremy, they’d bring up one of their favorite topics—how my husband should have had a better insurance policy. Then, they’d probably call Jeremy and tell him that he shouldn’t expect so much and make him feel guilty for even asking.”
“Ouch. That’s terrible.”
“It’s how they are.” Not really sure why she was sharing her whole life story with Gen in the parking lot, Dani continued. “I guess, to a point, they are right. But shouldn’t we all expect more from time to time?”
Gen blinked, looking reflective. “Yeah. Absolutely. We’re all worth it, I know we are.”
“I like your way of thinking.”
“I’m sorry about all this. It’s tough when something that should be a good thing doesn’t feel like it.”
“Yeah, it is. But I’ll be okay, and Jeremy will be, too. I better get on upstairs and make him some dinner. Jeremy’s probably raiding the refrigerator as we speak.”
“All right. But, hey, uh, Dani?”
“Hmm?”
“Wait a day on making a decision about basebal
l, okay?”
She felt her neck heat up. “I didn’t share this with you as a weird way of asking for help. That was the last thing I wanted to do.”
“I know you aren’t asking. And no offense, but I’m not offering. But I do remember hearing about booster clubs helping out. Let me ask my parents what they know about this. And there’s a couple of guys I know who I can ask, too.”
No way did she want to be someone’s new charity case. “That’s kind of you, but—”
“Don’t worry. I won’t say your name. I’ll just ask around. I’ll get back to you in a day or two with some information. You can wait until then, right?”
Everything inside of her wanted to brush off the offer, but she was willing to swallow some pride if it meant being able to let Jeremy have this. “Okay, thanks.”
“No probs.”
Just as Gen was walking away, Dani called out, “Um, even though I can’t really afford pedicures and shopping trips, I can definitely afford long walks. I can even bake a terrific chocolate cake. If you ever have time, let me know.”
“Thanks. After the day I’ve had, I’d just about kill for that cake. Let’s make a plan one Sunday and do that.”
“Deal.”
Hiking her purse on her shoulder, Dani headed up to the apartment, but to her surprise, her burdens felt lighter. She still didn’t have a lot of hope but there was a sliver of it. And such a relief not to have to tell Jeremy no right that minute.
When she got inside, she heard Jeremy playing Xbox in his room. After thinking about laundry and her latest coursework that she could be doing, she turned on the oven and popped a frozen lasagna in for dinner, then opened up some cabinets and saw a couple of bars of baking chocolate, sugar, and a whole container of flour.
Maybe it was time to bake a cake. Even if it was so she could cut off a big slice and have Jackson deliver it to Gen when he went into work that night.
CHAPTER 8
From Les Larke’s
You, Too, Can Host
Hold on Tight Page 5
