by Grace, Hazel
Lev and I settle at the small table in the room along the green-painted wall. “Did you make sure they packed silverware.”
“I did.”
“Fortune cookies?”
“Yep.”
“You did good, grasshopper,” I jeer, scuffling his dark hair. Lev waves me off, and we start to dig into our grub.
“How long does Beast have with this chick?” Lev asks.
“Few hours. And he better not use them all.”
“If she’s hot enough, he will.”
I roll my eyes and scoop up some rice. “Maybe we should’ve had you go.”
Lev shakes his head with a mouth full of food. “No, no, I’m not catching any stupid shit where my dick falls off.”
I chuckle. “But you’d let me go? You’re an asshole.”
“I believe you said,” Lev lowers his voice. “’I’ll go. I want the shit done right’.” I burst out into laughter. He’s right, I did, and the fact that he lowered his voice to match mine, made me think of the goofball kid he always used to be. That’s still in there somewhere.
“Alright, tool bag. We leave in another day or so to go back home, but I was thinking we scope out queen bitch’s layout and maybe where some of her drop-offs are.”
Lev leans back in his chair. “Yeah, that sounds good. You wanna hit one of them or something while we’re up here?”
“Thinking about it. I don’t want to get too close, maybe throw an anonymous call into the cops, watch from a distance to see if shit happens.”
“Cops are on that prostitution shit big time,” Lev replies. My phone buzzes on the bed, but I ignore it.
“We’ll talk to Beast when he comes back. Need to put in a course of action on that Victoria chick.”
“No emails have been going back and forth to her from Lydia or anyone else for that matter.”
I shake my plastic fork in the air. “But her mail, we need to get a handle on that. Swing by her crib, see if she’s going old fashion with it.”
“Good idea.” The buzzing of my phone goes off again. “You gonna get that?”
I shake my head. “Nah.”
Lev raises a brow. “Didn’t you say we stay in close contact with everyone at all times?”
Yep. Fuck. Of all the times, you actually listen.
Pushing my chair back, I go to grab my phone, clicking on the side button to turn the phone on.
Six text messages.
I sit back down at the table and go through them quickly.
Rora: Hey! Whatcha doing? Wanna go grab a movie or something?
Beast: She’s hot.
This place is nice as shit.
Flynn: The eagle is moving.
That last text messages grabs my attention. The eagle is Rora, some stupid nickname Flynn pulled, and its eleven o’clock at night. Where the fuck does she think she’s going?
Me to Flynn: Follow her.
“Everything cool?” Lev asks on the other side of the table.
“Yeah, just Beast running his mouth about how he hopes she’s hot and how nice the place is inside.”
“Is it nice?”
“It’s gawdy as hell,” I scoff. “Pink shit everywhere.”
Lev furrows his brows. “Then I’m glad I didn’t go.”
Flynn: She’s getting in a truck.
I can feel a vein in my temple start to throb in irritation. This is fucking lunacy. Sheer stupidity. I’m about to ask Beast to do a background check on her, see if she practices witchcraft or some bullshit, because this whole me tripping out over a female isn’t working for me.
“Give me your eggroll,” Lev chats, holding out his hand.
Flynn: What do you want me to do?
I hand the eggroll over to Lev while still staring at my screen.
“Damn they didn’t give us any of that orange sauce.” I start tapping my fingers on the screen of my phone, barely hearing Lev bitch about a condiment. I’m becoming pussy whipped over a girl who is way too good for me, way too good at sucking cock, and far beyond needing my lies. But my selfish needs are something I learned in the pen, you gotta be all for yourself or you’ll literally fuck yourself or get killed. And with Rora, I was greedy. I wanted to be. And now that trickle of guilt that I wanted to keep out of my veins is oozing in.
Flynn: I’m following her, just in case.
I promised myself that when I got out of prison, I was going to keep the shit behind me. To start a normal life that I didn’t get to lead before murdering Andrew. All that shit is under the bridge. Well, it was. I started to roll into the swing of things. Getting to know Pops and Josie, spending time with my siblings and hustling together to make a good life, finally together and out of the shadows of our father. But everything fucking changed when Isla was killed. Every hope, wish, goal, all fucking gone in one phone call. One that I can replay in my head over and over, even though I heard it once. And Lev and I weren’t there to save her.
Me: Let her go. Go to Victoria’s house and check her mail for shit.
“Now what?” Lev voices. “You look pissed.”
I lock my jaw to not go off on him for asking so many fucking questions. “Had Flynn go check Victoria’s mail while we’re here. So, we don’t miss anything.”
“Good call.”
The only good call I’ve made in the last two minutes.
My cell hums against the table, and I’m about to throw this fucking thing across the room when I see it.
Beast: Code Red.
Immediately, I shove my chair back. “Shit.” Walking over to my duffle bag, I pull my glock out from under some clothes. “Load up,” I tell Lev.
“What happened?”
“Beast sent a code red, something went wrong.”
“Aw, fuck,” Lev groans, scuffling through his own bag. The ringer off my phone rings, displaying Beast’s name.
“What happened?”
“Bring all your shit, park the car blocks away, make sure you’re not followed,” Beast demands out of breath.
“The fuck happened?” I stress.
“I can’t talk, motherfucker,” Beast snaps. “I’m going to text you an address. Hurry the fuck up.” Then he hangs up. Slowly, I bring my gaze up to Lev, who is already staring at me for answers.
“Bring all your stuff. I think our cover is blown.”
___
We’re on some highway, I don’t know which one, Lev is driving and my mind is muddled in ways that don’t make any sense. We picked up Beast, who’s profusely bleeding in the back of Lev’s truck. The bitch sliced him up pretty good, and we can’t take him to a hospital. I rip another piece of Lev’s spare shirt and hand it to him.
“Hangin’ in there man?” I ask him.
“I’m fine,” he replies. “Just hurts like a bitch.”
“He needs some alcohol,” Lev advises. “We need to stop somewhere.”
“No, we’re not stopping,” Beast snaps. “Not until we’ve put a hundred miles and us between this fucking place.”
“Dude, you better start spilling the damn details and quit with your vague ass answers,” I bellow. Beast ignores me, wrapping his upper arm with the shirt. “Beast.”
“Hold the hell on, Wyatt,” Beast growls. “Can I stop fucking bleeding first?” I exhale sharply and turn back around in the passenger seat. I fucking should of gone and not let Rora’s shit cloud my damn judgement on possibly getting my dick sucked or wet.
“Google a CVS or some shit for us to stop at,” Lev states, keeping his focus on the road. I pull my phone out, but Beast’s voice snaps back in again.
“Dude, what the hell did I say?”
“No one gives a shit what you said,” Lev answers. “You’re getting blood all over my seat back there and I use that thing.”
“About twenty miles out,” I tell Lev. “It’s off this highway.” I hear Beast mumble something in the backseat, but I’m too pissed to even acknowledge it. I’m not mad at him, could have happened to me with Tasha, but it’s that I und
erestimated Lydia. That her girls were some trained fucking killers or something, irked me. How do you steal women from their homes, gain their trust, and then get them to fight to protect you?
“Did she have a security camera?” Lev asks me behind the wheel.
“I kept my head down, but I would assume so.”
Lev peers into the backseat. “Did you keep your head down?”
“Walking in yeah, but I don’t know about outside. I went down the fire escape,” Beast replies.
“What happened?” I press, fidgeting with Lev’s shirt.
Beast clears his throat. “Things were fine, she asked if I was happy with her and showed me all the things I ordered for the room. Things began to get busy, she didn’t waste any time, not that I blame her. Asked her a few questions as I was going down on her, and when I asked about a girl named Victoria, she froze.” Lev and I look at each other for a moment, getting silent confirmation that Victoria was going to be more valuable than we thought.
“She asked me why I was asking about her. I pulled that I hadn’t seen her in a while, was wondering where she was. That’s when she started slicing at me.”
I rub my temples. “Did you get anything out of her?”
“Yeah,” Beast replies. “Mentioned, while slicing me, that no one messes with Lydia’s children.”
“What the fuck,” Lev breaths under his breath. My pulse is racing through my body, feeling like I just had a line of blow.
“So, there’s more than just Victoria,” I voice out loud. “I want names.”
“It’s a boy,” Beast affirms. She mentioned a ‘he,’ but I don’t remember much after that. Just getting out of there, man. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I say truthfully. “You did good man. You just got us one more pawn against the Queen.”
“You ready?” Paige calls from my kitchen. I shake myself from my inner turmoil and tell her I am as I throw on a shirt and a pair of sweats. My phone beeps at me from my bed, that annoying happy sound like every message that comes through is going to be happy news of rainbows and lollipops.
I already know it’s Noah, we promised to watch the season finale of The Blacklist together and talk about it over text messages. He said he’d love to come over but had an early day tomorrow at work. I’m instantly relieved because I don’t want him at my apartment. It’s already tainted with two men that have tortured me in different ways.
Jerry and Wyatt.
“I ordered the pizza,” Paige yells behind my bedroom door. I nod like she’ll get a magical signal that I got it. Thing is, I got everything all wrong. When I thought Wyatt was opening up, he shut it right down. When I texted him, it was hours before he responded with vague answers. Thinking he was busy, I went to the garage, just for one of the guys to tell me he was out of town.
Well, okay then.
I didn’t expect to know all his business, or I guess his trips for that matter, but it’d be nice for the heads up. Not for me to spend a few days wondering if I’ve imagined all this, and my instincts were right to build a wall. So, stay away I would. It was final. Done. No more going out of my way. It was me, my bakery, and Paige, like it’s always been.
Grabbing my phone, I walk out to the kitchen. Paige has a wine glass for her and a beer bottle of Bud Light for me on my coffee table. The TV is on, finishing the show up from before The Blacklist, and Paige is texting on her phone.
Sensing my arrival, she peers over her shoulder. “Do you think I look good in red?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “You look good in any color.”
Paige smacks her lips. “No. Let me rephrase. Do I look fuck worthy in red?”
Rounding my sectional, I sit down next to her. “What’s this about?”
“John. He invited me to this fundraiser thing for his job, and I want to make all his friends and wives jealous.”
I furrow my brows. “Why?”
“His wife left him and married his boss.”
My eyes widen. “Oh.”
“Right?! They’ll be there, he warned me. Said I didn’t need to go, but I do, for him, and…well, to piss them off.”
I grab my beer and press my lips to the cold bottle. “Then I’d go blue.”
“Blue?”
“Red is too cliché, would look like you’re trying too hard. Royal blue, now that’s an eye popper.”
Paige contemplates my words, scratching the side of her temple. “Not bad. I’ll do that.”
“Great. It’ll look—”
Paige jumps in her seat. “It’s on!” The channel announces for the show to come on as it gives a flashback of last week’s episode, and my phone buzzes in my hand.
Hitting the button on the side, Noah’s name pops up.
Noah: I’m so ready for this and it’s all your fault.
Me: Mine? I enlightened your life.
Noah: You got me addicted to a show.
Me: Again, enlightening.
Noah: Yeah, yeah. Catch you on commercial break.
“Are you going to be texting Noah all night?” Paige says in a whiny voice. I look over at her doing the same thing I am. Phone in hand, fingers moving around on the screen.
“Are we calling the kettle black now?” I retort with a smirk.
Paige bursts out laughing. “We’re fucking terrible.”
“At least we’re talking about the show.” I cock my head toward her. “What are you two talking about over there?”
Paige smiles and hugs her phone to her chest. “Nothing,” she drawls out.
“Uh huh,” I jeer, tucking my legs underneath each other. We continue to our show—well, I think I do more than Paige—when the pizza guy knocks at the door two commercial breaks in.
“Forty-five minutes my ass,” Paige grumbles, shoving herself from the couch.
“You say that every time, Paige,” I laugh. I’m still giggling when that familiar buzz goes off again.
Wyatt: Hey baby.
My body seizes—my breathing, my movement, my blinking. Everything but my heart thrashing in my chest. So much so that I can hear the blood hammering through my body. Excitement and aggravation intermingle, and I can’t center on one. And to be honest, I shouldn’t be feeling either.
I said it to Mia and myself, we were one thing and one fixation only—screwing. We got what we wanted from each other, he got pussy and I got to feel alive. Personally, I should be thanking him again, but it ached when he said one thing, then the next day acted another. We were grown adults, able to express our own feelings or needs, but Wyatt came and went as the wind, expecting to pick right up where he left off.
Yeah. I’m not that bitch.
“Why do we order from here, Nova?” Paige drones, coming back around the couch with our pizza. “This stuff is probably cold like it always is.” I lean back within the plush pillows of the couch, seeking comfort somewhere and happy that I’m not alone right now. If I was, I don’t think I could resist texting him back right now. And I hated that I had a weakness for that right now.
“Because it’s the only pizza place within twenty miles of here,” I’ve repeated probably for the thousandth time since we’ve moved here. Paige opens the box, grabbing a slice for herself before passing it over to me.
“And you still let me order it,” she sighs, rocking her head back and forth at me. I roll my eyes, she’d still order at the damn place even if I told her not to.
Buzz.
Noah: Pizza there yet?
Me: LOL – you know me too well.
That’s dangerous mister.
Noah: No offense but you’re like a broken record.
A good one though
My favorite actually.
Me: Ah, no. You can’t kiss ass out of this one now.
Noah: Damn it. I didn’t word it right.
Me: Because you suck lol
Noah: Touché.
Me: Ramen Noodles again?
Noah: Nope! SpaghettiOs – changed it up.
Me: LOL, you eat like
a child!
Noah: I am a child in a grown man’s body, woman!
Me: I can’t with you lol. Show’s on!
Noah: To be continued…
“Just tell her that you’re her dad already,” Paige scolds to the TV. Reaching for her wine glass, she takes a long sip. “This show drives me crazy.”
“You drive me crazy,” I comment in between bites. “He isn’t going to tell her unless he has to.”
“Stupid,” Paige murmurs.
“Keeps the show intriguing.”
“Keeps it annoying.”
“I can do this all night, Paige.”
“So can I, Nova.”
“Wanna try it?”
Paige chuckles. “No!”
Buzz.
Wyatt: You doing alright?
“Good thing about being your best friend is that I can sense your irritation,” Paige announces over her wine glass. I peer up at her watching me like a weirdo.
“Oh yeah?” I reply as she takes a sip of her wine.
“You haven’t mentioned that Wyatt guy in days. What did he do?”
I let out a harsh breath. “He’s too fickle, I don’t like it.”
“One minute he’s into you, next he’s not, kinda thing?”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I say, “He sounds like he wants to be around me one day then the next he goes MIA. Then he shows up out of nowhere again and we pick up where we left off. I knew he’d be just a…disruption, but I continued anyways. This jumbled person who’d tangle me up.”
“What made you keep seeing him then?” Paige asks, resting the side of her head on her fist. My nose flares, not comfortable talking about admitting I’m an idiot.
“He makes me feel alive, for the first time since Jerry. He made it a point to make me feel like a desirable woman. It sounds stupid as hell, I know, but I thought of other things other than the bakery, my past, us running. He wasn’t normal, at all, but it made me feel like I was living a somewhat normal life.”
Paige stares at me silently with a blank expression as I wait for her to say something. Anything. And the longer she waits, the more I start to feel as though I’m overreacting about this whole thing. That I’m so out of this ‘game’ that I have everything half-ass backwards.
“Maybe he has things going on,” Paige finally speaks. “Everyone is going through something.”
