by Lili Zander
I want to weave my fingers in Lani’s dark hair, pull her close, and kiss her soft lips. Tug her back into bed and spend the next few hours making her scream.
I want to program the syn to make her favorite foods. Watch her sip her coffee, her eyes closed, her expression filled with pleasure. Hear more about her favorite books.
A thousand years ago, it would have been impossible for me to even have a name of my own, let alone a mate and a future. But this is a new age. Anything is possible.
I want the happy ending.
With difficulty, I turn my attention back to Naren. “It’s not that surprising. The Empire is at least five years behind the Adrashian Federation when it comes to technology.” And the Federation is five years behind Ashara, though the secretive city-state would prefer to conceal their expertise. “Let’s check the heat sinks. I want to add some redundancy there.”
An hour passes. We’re almost done bolstering the heat sinks when Ayani finds me. “I have a problem,” she says grimly. “One of our families is on its way back from Kivet. We need to drop our shields to let them in.”
“No,” I say flatly. “It’s too risky. Tell them to go back.”
“For how long?” she demands. “We thought First would attack this morning. It’s almost time for the midday meal, and he’s nowhere to be seen. What if he doesn’t attack today? Or tomorrow? How long are we supposed to huddle inside the shield wall, afraid for our lives?”
Ayani’s stressed, and she’s not the only one. Everyone in Cintra is on edge. The tension hangs thick, like the air before a lightning storm. I’m used to it, but the people here are civilians.
However, Ayani is Zoraken. She should know better. “You know the answer to that question, Major,” I grind out. Lani glances at me, a mild rebuke in her eyes. I make myself sound gentler. “This is your home and you don’t want to leave it. I can understand that. But Major, you know what happens next. Even if this attack fails, First is still out there, and he knows your location. You’ve been exposed. You’re no longer safe on Nestri. You have to evacuate.”
“I know,” she says bleakly. “We were on the colony ship for two years before Commander Tarish found us a home. When we landed here, Arax tasted a fresh vegetable and spit it out. It tasted strange to him. He’d been on the ship so long that he only knew the taste of syn food.”
Arax is her youngling. Nice kid. Bright, genuinely helpful, endlessly curious. Though his mother probably ordered him to stay inside, I can see him hovering outside the power station. No doubt he’s trying to eavesdrop on our conversation. The kid worships Ayani. Last night, he told me he wanted to be a soldier, just like her. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the Empire doesn’t recruit Draekon soldiers. Not anymore.
Lani takes Ayani’s hand in hers. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Returning to my home planet isn’t an option for me any longer, so I know how you feel.”
Bast. I feel like a jerk, like I’m personally responsible for this mess. I hate that I’m uprooting them from their homes, but if they stay, First will kill them, or the LoreLords will. Homes can be rebuilt. Death is permanent.
“The family that is returning from Kivet, you said they’re close?”
She blinks at the sudden change in subject. “Sara’vi is pregnant. She’s due any day now.” Ayani is back to looking militant. “It’s a high-risk pregnancy, Ruhan. She can’t give birth in a skimmer.”
I really don’t want to open a gap in the shield wall. “Fine,” I say, giving in. I pull out my screen, program a narrow doorway in the western wall, and send a dozen drones to that location so I’ll have a visual on the weak spot at all times. I’ll leave it open for the next three knur,” I tell Ayani. “Make sure no one else gets in. If someone sneaks through—”
“No one will.”
Two knur later, Ayani sends me a message; the family has made it back to Cintra. Sighing with relief, I seal the gap in the shield. Another hour passes. I alternate between working on adding redundancies to the power source and patrolling the town. I keep Lani close, something she’s amused by. “I wouldn’t have pegged you to be the clingy sort,” she teases.
“I’m full of surprises, lovely Lani.” A part of me wishes Lani were anywhere but Cintra, but another part of me knows that if she weren’t here, I would spend all my time worrying about her anyway. This mating stuff—it’s not for the faint of heart.
Some community-minded residents have set up a tent in the main square, and they’re distributing hot meals and lek to the security forces. We break for a meal. Ayani finds us there, her face wreathed in smiles. “Sara’vi had her youngling,” she says happily, sitting down next to us. “A daughter, Miasi. A trouble-free birth, thank Caeron.” She signals for a drink. “I needed this,” she admits. “This morning, all I could see was what I’d lose. But this is what we’re fighting for, for the future of our younglings. For Miasi, for Arax.”
Just then, my comm pings. It’s First. I signal for quiet, adjust the call settings to obscure my location, and answer the call. First explodes into existence. “Third, what a pleasant surprise.”
On the surface, the First of the Crimson Force, the first Draekon ever made, looks unchanged from the last time I saw him. Until I look into his eyes and see madness. “That’s not how I’d describe it.”
“What are you doing on Nestri, Third?” His stare bores into me.
“I could ask you the same question.” I send Blue a warning. Shields at max, all units on high alert. The attack will come any moment now, while I’m distracted with this conversation. “But you’re here, so I already know the answer. Are you really going to murder ten thousand Draekons?”
“Draekons?” He makes a dismissive noise. “No, Third. We are Draekon. These beings might call themselves Draekon, but they are not. They are an infestation. They need to be exterminated.”
I push back my hot surge of rage. “You can try. You won’t succeed. Cintra is under my protection. The city is shielded, and you are not powerful enough to break through. Go away, First. Go bother someone else with your insane rants.”
For a second, I think he’s going to lose his temper and shift, but he clenches his hands into fists and regains his control. “When I found out you were on Nestri, my goal changed. I no longer care about these mewling fools. I want you, Third. Come with me, and I’ll leave them alone.”
I laugh. “So that you can attack me, the way you attacked Second in Consalas? I don’t think so.”
“I didn’t have you pegged for a coward.”
Was there a time when his words might have worked to sway me? Probably. I’ve earned my reputation for recklessness. In the past, I’ve thrown myself headlong into danger.
But that was before Lani entered my life.
I’m not as easy to bait any longer. I have a mate to protect, and a future to safeguard. “Whatever,” I say with a shrug. “Your taunts mean nothing, First. I’ve lost count of how many battles I’ve fought in. I don’t need to prove my courage. Not to you, not to anyone else.”
“Very well, we’ll do this the hard way.” He beckons to someone outside my view, and that person pushes a boy forward.
I close my eyes and swear out aloud. It’s Arax, Ayani’s youngling. How the fuck? For Caeron’s sake, we were shielded. Helpless rage runs through my blood. Why did the boy venture outside the town?
Ayani makes a choked-off sound. Lani’s face turns pale. “The tigate cubs,” she gasps. “Shit. I should have said something.”
“Let me propose a trade,” First says. “If you want the youngling to live, you’ll come out.”
For one moment, I allow myself to feel regret. For the space of a day, I really thought I could have it all. Lani, my freedom, a home, a future. I thought that all the things I was afraid to admit I wanted were finally within my grasp.
They still are. If I’m willing to let the child die.
“You give me your word that the boy will be returned unharmed?”
“Yes.”
I can’t look at Lani. It would hurt too much. “Done,” I force out through stiff lips. “It’s a deal.”
29
Lani
The moment I stare into Ruhan’s jewel green eyes, I see the truth written there. He’s going to sacrifice himself. Underneath the jokes, the laughter, the winks, and the outrageous innuendo, there’s a man who has such a strong sense of right and wrong that his own personal safety doesn’t even register.
There’s no hesitation. None at all. He knows that he might not walk out of this fight alive, and he’s going to march in anyway.
Ayani’s face is stricken. Her words from yesterday ring in my ears. I just want my child to be safe.
I want to scream to the skies and rail against fate. This is so deeply unfair. We had plans, damn it. I was going to move into his shack. I was going to snore and keep him up all night.
I was so convinced that things were going to work out. I was nervous about Cintra, sure. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But Ruhan was confident his shield would hold, and it had made me hope that all the bad things were in the past. I love Ruhan and he loves me, and I thought it was going to be nothing but clear skies ahead.
I thought I was owed my happy ending. I was wrong.
I swallow the lump in my throat. I want to wrap my arms around Ruhan, cling onto him like a barnacle, and beg him not to go. To choke those words back is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I make myself walk up to him. I’m not going to cry, damn it. I refuse to make this any tougher for him than it already is. I stand on tiptoe, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him, hot and hard and desperate.
“You know I have to go,” he murmurs into my mouth.
Don’t taste my fear, Ruhan. Taste my love. “I know. I love you for it.”
“I have to go, Lani,” he says again.
Oh. Right. Despite my best intentions, I’m clinging to Ruhan. I make myself let him go; I take a half-step back. “Go kick his ass,” I whisper fiercely. “You go out there, and you do what you have to do. And then you come back to me, do you hear?”
Every single time I’ve been afraid, Ruhan’s always been quick to reassure me. Not this time. “I waited a lifetime for you, Lani Dennison,” he says quietly. “It was worth the wait.” He kisses me, soft and tender. “Don’t follow me. I don’t want First to see your face. If he knows you exist, you’ll be at risk.”
Don’t follow me. Those words shred my already lacerated heart. “I won’t,” I promise. “I’ll stay safe.” While he throws himself into danger to protect us all.
He nods. His eyes rest on me for a second, and then he walks away.
30
Ruhan
I get on my comm and try to reach Fourth as I walk to the nearest shield wall, but I don’t get a hold of him. No surprise there; Fourth is probably jumping wormholes in his frantic rush to get to Nestri, and communication inside wormholes can be tricky.
Ayani follows me, but she’s careful to stay out of earshot, which I appreciate. I leave a message for Fourth. “I’m going to confront First,” I say into my comm. This time, they can’t call me reckless. I’m just out of options. “Lani, the human woman I was sent to find…” My voice trails away. It takes me a few moments to feel steady enough to try again. “She’s my mate. She’s wonderful. Brave, funny… She’s perfect. If I don’t make it back, protect her, brother.” I cut the comm, take a deep breath, and reach out to Blue.
The techbot’s concern fills the feed. “You’re sad.”
“I am.”
“I’m sorry, Ruhan.”
Blue recognized my emotion, looked at the available choices of responses, and chose empathy. I’ve programmed Blue’s emotional response modules, and I’m still amazed at how far he’s come. I’m also strangely touched. “Thank you,” I murmur. “Blue, you’re Cintra’s last line of defense. First will attack. Keep the shields up, and whatever else you do, keep Lani safe until Fourth gets here.”
I reach the shield wall. First is standing there, holding Arax by the shoulder. Two men flank him. Blood Heart lackeys, I assume.
“The child first,” I say.
“What’s the matter, Third, you don’t trust me?” First lets go of Ayani’s youngling, and he stumbles forward. I program a temporary gap in the shield wall and pull Arax inside. He runs to Ayani, who hugs him close, tears running down her cheeks.
It was worth it.
I program the gap in the shield to close as soon as I step through, and then I walk out, leaving my tech behind. First stares at me avidly. The sheen of bloodlust simmers in the background. I can sense his desire to rip me to shreds, to make me suffer for my defiance.
But his grand plan involves me staying alive. First cannot kill me, but he will break me. He won’t bother to torture me; that has never worked. But there are other ways to force my compliance. Like the Supreme Mother, he will drag innocent people into my cage, and he’ll torture them in front of me, and he’ll tell me that their lives depend on my obedience. I will go to sleep with their death cries ringing my ears, and their broken bodies will be the first thing I see when I wake up.
I have no illusions about what lies ahead. I cannot allow that to happen. If I cannot win this battle, I must push him so far that he kills me.
“What now?” I ask, though I already know the answer.
“Now you come with me,” he replies. “I need your genes, Third. I am the First of the Crimson Force, the first Draekon ever made. I am destined to rule. I will purge the Empire of these inferior creatures who dare call themselves Draekons. Then I will make myself an army, and I will conquer the galaxy. The High Empire, the Adrashian Federation, the Makpi Alliance—the Triumvirate will bow to the first Draekon Emperor.”
Blah blah blah. Violence mixed in with megalomania, with zero empathy. Blue has more capacity for emotion than First has ever displayed.
“Yeah, about that,” I say lightly. “Our deal was that I’d step through the shield wall. I’ve fulfilled my part of it.” I lift my head up. “I’m not coming with you. I will never ally myself with your cause.”
The red haze rolls over his eyes. He wrenches back control. “If I were you, I’d reconsider that decision.”
When I’d been awakened for the first time, my brain crammed with facts, images, and memories I didn’t understand, this man was there to help. He’s killed so many people since then. But if even a trace of goodness is left in him, I must try to reach it.
“You were a brother to me once,” I say quietly. “Because of that, I will ask you to step away from this path. What you are proposing is madness. The Supreme Mother is dead. Nobody commands us into battle. We are finally free. We can do whatever we want with our lives, First. We don’t have to fight anymore.”
“The rathr drives me. It drives all of us.”
“There are scientists in this age who can help. Give them time to solve this problem.”
“Scientists,” he sneers. “I have read their work in the ThoughtVaults. None of them can match the Supreme Mother.”
I agree with him there, not that I’m going to say it out loud. A lot of knowledge has been lost in a thousand years.
But what’s lost can be found. “If my choices are between abject despair and foolish hope, I choose hope.”
“Then you are a fool. What is your plan, Third? Are you going to join the pathetic rebellion?” His voice turns caustic. “So easy to infiltrate. So happy to sell out their secrets, their spies. I killed one of them in Consalas, did Second tell you that? Commander Tarish thought he could send someone to infiltrate my inner circle.” He laughs coldly. “I snapped her neck. A merciful death. She didn’t deserve it. These are the people you will choose?”
There’s at least one spy you don’t know about.
“Get off this path,” I say one last time.
“Never.” His stare cuts into me. “Second fought me and almost died, and he is stronger than you. What chance do you think you have?”
“You we
re able to land a blow on him because you forced Kadir to choose between attacking you and defending innocent civilians. Cintra is protected. There’s just you and me here.” My voice hardens. “Let’s see what you can do in a fair fight.”
We both back away from each other. The air shifts, cools. Our bodies tear open, and two crimson dragons emerge.
First has fought two battalions of Zoraken in as many days. He’s probably murdered the four 49th Squadron members, but the assassins are insanely talented. Killing them would have definitely taken a toll.
First spent all day yesterday in a healing tank. His two Blood Heart generals look nervous. He’s weaker than he will admit, and the bloodlust has maddened him.
If First manages to kill me, everyone in Cintra is at risk. Arax, Ayani, Naren, the kind residents who fed us, every single resident in Cintra, Draekon, Zorahn, or Okaki will suffer.
Lani’s face swims before me. She’s the most important person of all. She’s the missing piece of my soul.
If I fail, Lani dies.
First is fighting for power. I’m fighting for something far more important. I’m fighting to protect the woman I love. If he were at peak form, I’d probably have very little chance. But he’s not. And Caeron, I’m determined.
I open my mouth in a roar, screaming my defiance to the sky. I stamp the ground, and the two Blood Heart generals are thrown off their feet from the reverberation.
Bring it on.
31
Lani
The two crimson dragons swoop in and out of the clouds, moving so fast that I can barely see them. Their wingspans blot out the sun. I rode on Ruhan’s back, so I already know how big he is, but seeing both dragons throw themselves into battle really brings it home to me.
At this distance, I can’t tell them apart. I think Ruhan’s scales are darker than First’s, but I’m not sure. If I were closer, if I could see their eyes, I’d know, but I’m too far away.
