by Leslie North
“You didn’t want a family.” Avery’s heart thundered against her rib cage, regret rising and fighting with her own irritation. “You said you didn’t want a wife and kids. You made it clear. And I was young. I didn’t think you’d ever change.”
“Never mind ten years ago.” Tucker shoved his hands in his pockets and pressed his lips together, eyes burning into hers. “You’ve been back in town, what, six months? Long enough to take over Doc’s business and settle in for the long haul. You knew you were going to stay. And I’ve been here for days. You can’t tell me you never had a chance to break the news.”
Avery felt glued to her seat. “I expected you to be…uninterested. After that happened—”
“I wouldn’t have been.” Tucker set his jaw, his muscles trembling. He took a deep breath and let it out, face still beet red. “I would have been interested before, too. The last thing I would have done—god, Avery. I would never have walked away if I knew.”
“But you did walk away. Staying here wasn’t what you wanted.”
“You never gave me a chance,” spat Tucker. “Not once in the last ten years. You never gave me a chance.” He looked like he had a lot more to say. Avery braced herself.
But Tucker turned and walked out. His footsteps went lightly up the stairs. Even in his anger, he hadn’t wanted to wake Shanna up.
Avery slumped in her seat and covered her face with her hands, sadness and anger and a thousand other emotions besides making her skin hot and clammy. So what if Tucker claimed he wanted to be involved? It was too late to go back and fix that now. Guilt tightened her throat. It was far too late. And Avery couldn’t undo things.
And there was another possibility. It came to Avery slowly as she sat in her seat, watching the night deepen out beyond the front window. Snow swirled against the glass. It was a heck of a storm.
The other possibility was that Tucker had told the truth.
Maybe he did want to be part of Shanna’s life.
What was she supposed to do then?
7
The next morning, Tucker was already downstairs with a blazing hot cup of coffee when Avery padded down the stairs, freshly showered with her hair pulled back. She had a no-nonsense set to her expression that he could see even in the murky light of the morning. Snow still blocked out the sun, but it was early yet—he hadn’t been able to sleep. He’d given up on it around five and had been drinking coffee for an hour, which maybe didn’t help the situation. His nerves jangled.
Avery pulled out a chair across from him and sat. She looked him full in the eyes, and Tucker’s stomach dropped. This was it, then. She’d tell him to get out, and then he’d have to battle to see his daughter. He couldn’t live with himself if he gave up on them now.
“Did you mean what you said last night?” Avery lifted her chin.
“You’ll have to be a little more specific.” Most of what he could remember was a hot swell of anger, followed by shock.
“That you’d have been interested in being a dad, if not in being married. Did you mean that?”
Tucker nodded. “That was the truth, Avery. I never would have walked away from the two of you.”
She must’ve believed him, because she nodded, letting her eyes drop down to her hands. Her shoulders dipped like she was giving up on the fight, or at least accepting the outcome. “Then…we can work out some visitation.” What? “We can try to ease you into Shanna’s life. If you’re sincere.”
Tucker’s heart cracked open, letting out a flood of relief and hope. He put down his coffee mug with a trembling hand. “Yeah, Avery, I am.” She looked back up at him, blue eyes luminous even in the dim light. “I’m very sincere. I want to be in her life. You have no idea how much.”
They made breakfast together, skirting the conversation and keeping their voices low. It seemed to Tucker they were in silent agreement. Until Shanna heard the news herself, they couldn’t go about making any plans. But the tension between them wasn’t so cutting. By the time the three of them had finished putting away an enormous stack of French toast, he was ready. Ready to tell Shanna. Ready to move on.
Shanna took one last bite of her French toast and cocked her head to the side. “Do you think they’ll have school tomorrow, Mom?”
“My guess is no. But don’t get your hopes up.” Avery put a hand on Shanna’s arm and caught Tucker’s eye. This was the moment. “Listen, Shan, there’s something Tucker and I would like to tell you.”
Shanna tipped back in her seat and rubbed her belly. “That he’s my dad?”
Avery’s mouth dropped open and Tucker laughed. Avery blinked at Shanna, shaking her head. “How’d you guess that? I—you’re right, for one thing. But how did you guess?”
Shanna grinned at Tucker, blue eyes flashing. “Well, we have the same nose. And we both love Animorphs.”
He spent the rest of the day going over every interaction he’d had with Shanna. She did love Animorphs, and her face had lit up when he told her about photography. All those trips would give him even more to tell her about. Wait—all those trips. They came to him in a disconnected trickle as he sat in the living room, playing Uno with Shanna and trying to figure out whether he was more relieved or annoyed. Avery had hidden his daughter from him. He’d lost time with her that he could never get back.
He’d just have to take advantage of the time they had now, he decided.
“What are you thinking about?” Shanna studied his face, cards loosely held in her hands.
“All the trips I’ve been on.” He looked at his own hand of cards. “I can’t wait to tell you about them.”
But the more he told Shanna, the more memories came back. That night, after she was tucked into bed, another memory returned to Tucker. And this time, it tore through his heart. Heavy with regret, he went down the hall to Avery’s room. He found her sitting on the edge of the bed, twisting her hair into a braid.
“I remembered something,” he said softly.
Avery didn’t seem surprised to see him there. She gestured toward the chair she kept in the corner of the room. “You want to talk about it?”
He took the seat, his knees inches from hers. The tank tops she wore to sleep exposed just enough of her skin to drive him wild. He wanted her under his hands again, but there was no way—not until he said what he had to say. He could still feel the sun on his face, though the scene had happened a decade ago. He could still see the hurt in Avery’s eyes and the way her chin quivered.
“I remembered what I said to you. Maybe that was the last fight, but I don’t know.”
“Tucker, you don’t have to—”
“Yeah, I do.” He looked her in the eye. “I said I didn’t want to be dragged down by this town, or a family.” What a mistake. What a terrible mistake. “And I’m sorry about that. I can’t ever take it back, but I had to come here and tell you that I was wrong. I was so wrong. And I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“It was a long time ago.” Avery dropped her hands into her lap.
“To me, it feels like it just happened yesterday. And other things—” He ran a hand through his hair. “There are other things, too. How great we were together. How much we laughed. There was a spark. I know it was real.”
Avery smiled, her cheeks going pink. “I don’t disagree. You want to know what my favorite thing was?”
“Tell me.”
“Stargazing in the back of your truck.” Avery laughed. “It was so uncomfortable. You always brought a thin blanket. But I wanted to be lying next to you so badly, holding your hand.” The smile fled from her face, settling into something hot and serious, and Tucker’s heart prepared itself to fly out of his chest.
“What about now?” He reached out to her, the offer hanging in midair. “Because I tell you what, Avery. I’d hold your hand if you let me.”
She put her hand in his.
Tucker found himself pulling her to her feet and tugging her closer, just to feel the warmth of her between his legs. He slipped h
is hands over her hips. Oh, she smelled good, like lavender and cotton and the unique scent of her skin. Her hands came down to tilt his face up, and then—he didn’t know how and he didn’t care—her lips were pressed against his, sweet and soft and exactly how he remembered.
It started out tentative, almost like Avery was re-learning how to do it, but after a moment, she leaned in hard, collapsing into his lap with her arms around his neck.
Then everything else disappeared.
She kissed him hot and hard, and Tucker’s entire body bent toward her, his soul aching to be closer. Closer, closer, now. He lifted her and the two of them fell onto the bed together, Avery panting underneath him. He pushed himself up to strip off his shirt, then his jeans—clothes rained down on the rug beneath her bed, and there she was, every inch of her.
He felt a strange urgency, like they didn’t have much time, but still he tried to devour every moment. He ran his hands down her soft skin and over the freckle on the side of her left knee. He bent down and pressed a kiss above each nipple, making her shiver. Avery’s hands scrambled against his skin, her nails digging in, and when he lowered his head to kiss the side of her neck, she arched back and spread her legs for him. Please, her body seemed to beg. And his was happy to oblige.
Avery rocked her hips against his and let out a frustrated groan, then twisted underneath him to reach for the bedside table. She fumbled in a drawer and came up with a condom. “Here.” The longing in her voice echoed in his own heart.
He took it and ripped it open, kneeling above her to roll it on. Avery’s hand on his hip stopped him.
“I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you, too.”
Then she yanked him down on top of her, and Tucker was lost to the world. He was lost to everything except the rhythm the two of them made together. It was so familiar—like he’d slept with her yesterday. But there was a painful distance there, too. He closed it with every thrust. Bits and pieces came back to him as she shuddered and gasped underneath him. Tucker angled his hips in a way she liked and Avery clenched around him. He bent low to kiss her hard when she came, then made her do it again. Lost time, he thought, again and again. We’re making up for lost time. And he knew that one turn in bed wouldn’t be enough. It wouldn’t ever be enough. But it could be a start.
Desire overwhelmed him, rising from the tip of his toes to the top of his head, and the next time Avery shook, biting her knuckle to keep from crying out, he came too. Tucker dropped his head to the pillow next to hers. Stars exploded. The universe wheeled around them and went dark. The only thing that mattered was Avery.
“Tucker?” Her voice came from far away.
“Yeah?”
“Let’s go again.”
8
Avery rose slowly from a deep sleep the next morning, her muscles aching. Something was wrong. What was it? Ah—the bed. She reached over to find cool sheets where Tucker had been the night before. Where he had been, the night before, sleeping with her.
She rolled onto her side with a squeak and pulled the blankets tight around her shoulders. Wow, had it been good. Every moment of him had lit her on fire with the need for more. And yet worry seeped in around the edges of the blanket like the chill from her room. Had she done the right thing, letting him back into her life? He did have a right to know about Shanna. She could see that now. But she’d never expected him to care. She’d never thought she would be letting him into her life like this. Her stomach rolled with anxiety. They could remain amicable, right? It was a small town, and he’d need her vet services. They would be seeing each other, no matter what.
Avery snorted. Amicable? Sure. She had missed him, though she’d never allowed herself to think about it in any kind of depth. And he wasn’t the teenager she’d known before. He was all man, with serious skills. She took a deep breath. Avery would not let herself be jealous of the women he’d learned them from. No. Nope.
Voices floated up from beneath her bedroom. Tucker and Shanna, down in the kitchen. She pushed all her anxious thoughts away. How late was it, even? Late enough that she should have been up by now, judging by the light pouring in through her bedroom window. Avery threw on some clothes and went down.
Only to find that the three of them were not alone.
Cade, Tucker’s older brother, sat in one of her armchairs.
“Hey, Avery.” He put down his coffee mug on the side table and came over to shake her hand. She’d seen Cade once, back when she’d first moved to town. The grocery store, or maybe the post office—somewhere. “I’m here to rescue you from Tucker. Now that the snow’s tapered off a bit, I thought I’d hop over and break up the party.” He laughed. “But really, my girl Joey would love to spend some time with her new cousin.”
Avery blinked, trying to keep the smile on her face. Cade’s daughter was about the same age as Shanna, from what she could remember from their brief conversation.
Shanna nudged her in the arm, and she looked down to find her daughter offering a mug of coffee, wearing puppy-dog eyes and biting her lip. “Can I, Mom?”
“Wow, I—” She chuckled, turning her attention back to Cade. “How’d you get over? Are the roads clear?” Maybe it won’t be so bad, she thought. Shanna needed family. And cousins her own age. Maybe it was convenient that they lived so close together.
“Yep. Plow’s been out most of the morning. I even brought my trailer along with the truck. Our horse is loaded up and ready to go. Hey, thanks for taking care of my brother.” Cade’s expression went solemn. “Means a lot to us.”
“You’re welcome,” she said. “Any time.” Oh, man—any time.
“You ready to go, Tuck?” Cade’s gaze went to his brother.
Tucker nodded, catching Avery’s eyes. He stood up from the loveseat and came to Avery, hands in his pockets. Heat covered her face.
“Thanks, Avery.” Tucker’s voice, low and gravelly, made her want to take him by the hand and drag him back upstairs. “For everything.”
Don’t go, she wanted to say. Stay, so we can talk everything through. Just…stay. “All part of being a good neighbor.” She stepped forward and gave him a quick embrace. It felt…weird.
He nodded, then followed his older brother toward the front door. Avery and Shanna trailed after, and Avery had the distinct sensation of the day after Christmas, when all the guests left and the fun was over. They let a blast of cold in when they stepped onto the porch, then Cade poked his head back in. “We’ll give you a call soon about a get-together for the girls, all right? Joey can’t wait.”
“Sounds good.”
The door nearly swung closed, then Tucker burst back in. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” He stepped in, cold clinging to his skin, and wrapped them both in a hug. “I’ll be back soon. I can’t wait to spend more time with you, Shanna. And Avery, we do need to talk. Soon.”
“That’s right.” Warmth curled through her, along with a twist of desire. Really soon. “We’ll be in touch, okay?”
Tucker let go and stepped back, looking them over one more time like he might be going for good. Avery hoped that wasn’t the case. Cade called for him from outside. “All right. I’ll be back. Have a good day, okay?” He gave them both a jaunty salute and went outside, pulling the door gently closed behind him.
Avery let out a deep breath. Her stomach growled. Shanna stood with her face pressed against the window, watching Cade’s truck and trailer pull away.
“Hey.” She put an arm around her daughter and pulled her close. “You want some breakfast?”
“Yes,” Shanna groaned. “I’m so hungry.” She screwed up her mouth. “But I wish Tucker could’ve stayed.”
Me, too. “He had to get back to his brothers. I’m sure they missed him on the ranch. Come on, I’ll make pancakes.”
Shanna flitted around the kitchen, helping Avery get out the ingredients for pancakes while Avery set up the skillet and got down a mixing bowl. It was so quiet without Tucker’s voice in the house. It
wasn’t that he’d spoken all the time, or too much, but now that he had gone home, she felt the absence like a piece of furniture that had disappeared the moment she turned her back. Get a grip, she thought to herself. You haven’t seen him in years, and now you’re pining for him like the two of you broke up again.
“Mom?”
“Yes?” She turned to Shanna with a big grin, grateful for the interruption. “What’s on your mind?”
Shanna pursed her lips. “How many cousins do I have?”
“I’m…I’m not sure.” Avery sucked in a breath. Okay, so it was starting now—the questions about Tucker’s family. It started right this minute, and it wouldn’t end. He would be in her life forever now. And the rest of his family. They were next-door neighbors, after all, and she wasn’t going to start her career over in a new city any time soon. “Three, I think. Cade’s got two kids, and I heard Liam had a baby with his wife not too long ago. So that would make it three cousins.”
Shanna let out a longing sigh and gazed at the mixing bowl. She kept the corners of her mouth turned down as she poured the flour into the bowl, sneaking glances at Avery out of the corner of her eye. Then she brightened up. “Two of the cousins are babies?”
“Yes. I think so.”
“Well, that’s the next best thing to having a little brother or sister.”
Avery inhaled, choking on nothing but air, and went into a coughing fit over the sink. When she straightened up, she found Shanna watching her with a little grin, her face half-concern and half-anticipation. “Shanna—”
Her daughter turned to the mixing bowl and stuck in the whisk, not saying anything else.
Avery fielded questions for the rest of the day, and a new relief settled over her at bedtime. It was intense, having another parent in the picture. She hadn’t thought it would be such a rollercoaster of emotions. Then again, that was on her—if she’d told Tucker the truth, they’d have settled this long ago. Wouldn’t they have? On the way to her bedroom, she shook off the instinct to dwell on the past. It was done. They’d move forward now, and it would be a rollercoaster for a while, and then things would settle down.
