by Alex Dyson
They stared at each other for a moment. Ella looked at the ground. There were too many people around. This was it.
‘Hey, did you want to go have a chat …?’ he finally asked.
She looked up again. ‘Sure.’
They made their way deeper into the garden until they found a little log they could sit on. It was darker back here among the trees, and Ella’s eyes glinted at Caleb as they both waited for the other to speak first.
‘So, um,’ said Caleb. ‘How’s the boyfriend?’
Ella laughed a bit. ‘Yeah, he’s okay.’
‘Cool …’
Silence again.
‘Why do you ask?’ enquired Ella. ‘Is this why you haven’t talked to me since the gig?’
‘No, no reason, just um … checking.’
Ella eyed him suspiciously. ‘Why, do you reckon you could do a better job?’
Caleb had a coughing fit. It tasted like elderflower and metho.
‘Sorry. God, um, no … it’s not like you would want someone like me anyway …’ he managed to splutter.
‘Why not? I had a crush on you for years,’ Ella said.
It was the single most euphoric and devastating thing he had ever heard. His belly tightened. His spine scrunched.
‘What … I, um …’ Caleb really couldn’t comprehend a world in which Ella Westlake liked him. It was like finding out fairies existed. ‘Really?’
‘Yeah, of course. It’s been nice talking to you again too. It’s good to know you haven’t changed.’
Ella looked directly into Caleb’s eyes as she said this. A gorilla began to play the bongo drums in his chest. What was she saying? He needed a female-to-male translator, stat! Was this like the ‘x’ on the end of her text? Or something more?
Ella eventually looked down and played with the tab of her vodka passionfruit can. It made a plunking sound as she flicked it back and forth. Caleb hated that, even in this moment, he was making a mental note to sample it some time.
‘Ella, I –’
‘THERE you are!’ A voice like a broken ice machine rang out among the shrubbery.
Caleb’s blood ran cold.
He had heard that voice before.
Sneering. Laughing. Even before the face emerged from the dark, he knew who it was. He’d caught glimpses of him around school over the years. Him and his three mates. Caleb stood up, ready to tell Ella to run, ready to take the punch, but the guy walked right past him. His arm, which was twice the width of Caleb’s, two years older and eight shades more tanned, reached out and wrapped around Ella’s shoulder.
‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere. What’s up, beautiful?’
‘Hey,’ Ella said. Caleb was frozen to the spot. ‘We were just chatting,’ Ella added. ‘This is Caleb. We went to primary school together. Caleb, this is Damo. My boyfriend.’
Caleb felt sick.
She couldn’t.
Not him.
Anyone but him.
Damo extended his hand, and for the first time got a solid look at Caleb’s face. Even though it was dark, Caleb saw the exact moment Damo recognised him. His back stiffened. His eyes widened ever so slightly.
‘Hey,’ Damo said, eyeing Caleb warily.
Caleb held his ground and shook Damo’s hand, despite every instinct screaming at him to run.
‘Should we head back in?’ Damo said, taking a swig of his beer. He was avoiding Caleb’s eyes now.
Ella turned to Caleb. ‘Yeah, I guess so. I’ll catch you later, Caleb?’
‘Sure,’ he stammered, before slumping back onto the log next to the flat, stagnant ponds of his vodka bowls as Damo and Ella walked back towards the guts of the party. He wanted to yell. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.
And he definitely didn’t want to go back into the party carrying two bowls. So, with the heart-shattering fact that his crush was dating his tormentor-in-chief rattling around his brain, Caleb decided to combat the futility of life by downing them both.
Miralee found Caleb inside the house some time later, sitting on the couch and aggressively patting a very patient Jack Russell terrier.
She slumped down next to him. ‘Hey, Caleb.’
He turned his head slowly. ‘Oh, hey. I’m just hanging with Bruce. Say hi to Miralee, Bruce!’ Caleb grabbed the dog’s paw and made it wave in Miralee’s direction.
‘Um, that’s Willow …’ Miralee said dryly.
‘Brucey-Brucey, on my lap, Brucey-Brucey, have a nap,’ Caleb sang, lost in his own world. A perfect world that was ruled by a kind and omnipotent Jack Russell god, who never let anything bad happen to anyone.
Miralee had a sip of her drink. She’d found something that wasn’t in a bowl.
‘How did your chat go?’ Caleb asked.
‘Pretty meh,’ she said. ‘How did yours go?’
‘Extremely meh,’ Caleb replied. ‘But I’ve met Bruce now and together we’re going to be okay. Aren’t we, Bruce? That’s right.’
Miralee rolled her eyes. ‘You’re drunk, aren’t you?’
‘NO. Can you take a photo of me and Bruce?’ said Caleb, handing her his phone.
‘I can’t take a photo with your wallet, Caleb.’
Caleb frowned, took back his wallet and handed her his actual phone. He pushed his head close to Willow, who arched her back away from him. Miralee took a couple of photos before Willow escaped his clutches and jumped off the couch. ‘Bruuuuuuuce,’ Caleb cried dramatically as his new best friend trotted off between the thicket of legs in the living room.
Miralee passed Caleb’s phone back, which started vibrating in his hand.
‘Miralee, your phone’s ringing.’
‘That’s your phone, Caleb.’
‘Oh, is it?’ He swiped his finger across the screen a few times until it eventually connected, then raised the device to his ear. ‘Hello, Caleb’s phone!’
‘Caleb? Finally! Did you get my texts?’ said the voice down the line.
‘What was that? I’m at a party!’ Caleb stuck his other hand over his ear.
‘Oh, right, well, look, I’ve got a bit of an exciting – and kind of urgent – request.’
‘Wait. Who is this?’
‘It’s Jake Townsend.’
Caleb held his hand over the phone. ‘It’s Jake Townsend,’ he slurred at Miralee. And then he panicked when he realised the implications of what he’d just said.
‘What? Talk to him!’
Caleb fumbled with the phone. ‘Hello? Jake? Is that really you or what?’
‘Yes, mate, and I wanted to ask you –’
‘How did you get this number?’
‘You sent it to me on the weekend.’
‘Oh yeah!’
‘Caleb, listen – have you heard of Splendour in the Grass?’
Caleb’s back straightened. The buzz of music and chatter in the room screeched at him. ‘SHHHHHH!’ he said to the room in general, a finger over his mouth. It didn’t work. ‘What did you say, Jake?’
‘I asked if you know Splendour in the Grass?’
Caleb thought of his computer background. His obsession with the Splendour hashtag on Instagram every year. His failure to get a ticket once again.
‘Yes. I do. I was going to go, but I’m not anymore, because Jai turned out to be terrible. TERRIBLE, JAKE!’
‘Look, I’m sorry to hear that, but I have some news that I think you’re gonna like. Dank Motion has pulled out, and the organiser needs a replacement. So I suggested you.’
‘Suggested I what?’
‘Play!’
‘Play what?’
‘At the festival!’
Caleb’s intoxicated brain was having a lot of trouble comprehending any of this. Jake couldn’t be on the phone. He couldn’t be saying the words he was saying. This was a dream. Caleb was woozy. He frowned at Miralee.
‘Oh, for god’s sake, give me the phone,’ she said, snatching it from his hands.
‘Hello, Jake Townsend, this is Miralee Kahn spe
aking – I’m a huge fan – what’s going on?’ Miralee’s face transformed from confusion to excitement. ‘Oh my god! Yes, of course he’ll do it. Lock it in. We’ll give you a call tomorrow to confirm the details. Thanks so much, Jake! I love “Remedy”, by the way.’
Caleb’s head bobbled as Miralee grabbed him by the shoulders and shook.
‘You’re playing Splendour in the Grass, Caleb! Did you message him? I told you that would work! Oh my god, this is huge! Congratulations!!!’
Caleb’s eyelids drooped. His mind raced. The room spun. This was one of the biggest moments of his life.
‘Cool,’ is all he managed to say before projectile vomiting all over the living room.
‘So this is how Tony Priestly felt.’ Miralee was using a dishcloth to wipe her shoes as she and Caleb sat on the nature strip across the road from Dana’s house.
‘I’m sorry,’ groaned Caleb again. He was lying flat on his back next to her. ‘You’re really nice to me.’
Miralee smiled. ‘It’s okay. Now we’re even.’
The cool night air was refreshing, and after a while Caleb finally felt well enough to sit up. The house was now illuminated by the red-and-blue lights of two police cars. Kids were taking off in all directions. Dana was arguing with one of the officers. Another one was trying to break up a fight between two boys.
Somehow, in the midst of all of it, Caleb felt almost serene.
Miralee slapped her arm. ‘Bloody mosquitos. They always go for me.’
‘You must have yummy blood.’
She gave him a look that said, ‘Really?’
‘I’m sorry. I think being drunk makes me say weird stuff.’
Another police car turned up. Caleb’s spew had set off a chain reaction in the packed living room. People had moved to get away, shoving other people. Accidental shoves had turned into deliberate ones, and before long, windows were being broken, punches were being thrown, and the neighbours must have called the cops. Miralee, despite her minuscule stature, had managed to drag Caleb out, and they now sat watching the fallout from a distance.
‘So wait, tell me again,’ Caleb said. ‘Am I really playing Splendour?’
‘Yep, apparently. Jake organised it. I think he really liked your song.’
‘Woah.’ Caleb pondered that for a bit. ‘Are you going to come?’
‘If you want me to?’
‘Yeah. I really do.’
A few neighbours, one in a pink dressing gown and hair curlers, had come out to watch the bedlam. Caleb saw Ella and Damo leaving Dana’s house via the side gate.
‘I think Ella likes me, Miralee,’ Caleb said.
‘I thought you said she had a boyfriend?’
‘Yeah, she does, he’s a dick. But Rachel said I could get her to like me and I think I can.’
‘Um, if you say so …’
Across the street, Ella looked up and saw them. Caleb waved at her, then beckoned her over.
‘What are you doing?’ whispered Miralee.
‘It’s cool, I’ve got a plan …’
Ella turned and spoke to Damo. He nodded and leaned back against the fence. Then she walked across the road and stopped in front of them.
‘What are you doing Sunday?’ asked Caleb.
‘Nothing. Why?’
‘Wanna go to Splendour in the Grass?’
‘What? Really? Are you going?’
‘I’m playing.’
Ella scoffed. ‘Are you kidding me?’
‘Nope.’
‘How did you manage that?’
‘Well, it all started when I liked this girl, and so I wrote a song about her …’ Caleb said cheekily.
Ella smiled ‘Well …’ She looked back at Damo. He was on his phone, glancing intermittently at them. She seemed torn. ‘I’d love to, but I’d better not.’
‘It’s cool, Damo can come too. No biggie.’
‘For real? Woah, okay, I’ll ask him.’
She hurried back across the road.
‘That was smooth,’ said Miralee. ‘I mean, it would have been even better if you didn’t have a chunk of vom on your face. Come here.’ She leaned over and wiped Caleb’s chin.
‘Cheers.’
Across the road, police were still shepherding people away from the house. Ella and Damo were still chatting.
‘Wait – so Ella is going out with Damo Dickson?’ said Miralee. ‘And you just asked them both to Splendour?’
‘Yep. And, he’s one of the guys who did that’ – Caleb took a breath – ‘thing to me too.’
‘What? Caleb! Does Ella know? You shouldn’t even go near this guy! Do you even have enough tickets? I just can’t believe –’
‘Shhh,’ urged Caleb. ‘They’re coming back.’
Both Ella and Damo definitely heard the shhh as they arrived.
Ella ignored it. ‘So we’re um, both down to go, if you’re serious?’
‘One hundred per cent,’ said Caleb.
‘Cool.’
‘Easy peasy, lemon squeezy,’ Caleb said, giving them both finger guns. ‘All right, Mizza, let’s bust this popsicle stand.’
And with that, Caleb got up and pulled Miralee to her feet, and the two of them headed off through the park.
‘Caleb, I … wow. What’s gotten into you?’
Caleb tried to answer, but spewed again instead. He looked down at the pile of muck on the grass.
‘Carrots, by the look of things. But don’t worry, I think they’re out of me now. Let’s go.’
And the pair walked into the night.
CHAPTER 28
‘Morning, sunshine.’
Caleb opened his eyes and screamed. Miralee Kahn’s face took up his entire field of vision. He sprang up and fell out of bed, realising he was in his room – which meant Miralee must have been in his bed too.
‘You’re in my bed!’ he said.
‘Well done,’ Miralee replied.
‘But, did we –’
‘Oh, god no,’ Miralee said immediately. ‘I mean, I tried to crash next to you, but you are far too aggressive a spooner. So I slept on the floor for most of the night instead.’
‘Ah, sorry …’ Caleb turned red. He had just accidentally had his first sleepover with a girl, and now he was apologising for it. Not the best start to that particular career.
‘Well, um, we’d better get you out before Mum sees,’ Caleb said, pulling himself back up onto the bed. He was starting to panic. Miralee was small – maybe he could take her out in a suitcase?
‘Caleb, I’ve already had a cup of tea with your mum this morning.’
‘What!’
‘Yeah, she’s the best. I caught her up on everything.’
‘You didn’t!’
‘Well, not everything everything. Some things aren’t my place to tell. Although I do think you should talk to her about what happened to you at some stage. She’s actually really nice to talk to.’
Caleb’s brain was still trying to emerge from hibernation. Unfortunately, it seemed to be trapped in fog and barbed wire.
‘My head hurts,’ he said meekly.
‘I’m not surprised. That’s why I let you sleep in. But you’ve got to get up now. He’s going to be here soon.’
‘Who?’
Miralee grinned. ‘Jake Townsend.’
The barbed wire tightened around Caleb’s cerebral cortex. This was too much for the fragile goo of his brain to handle. He stammered, trying to form words.
Miralee seemed to find this funny. ‘What do you remember about last night?’ she asked.
Caleb struggled to think. Fragments of memories were slowly being filled in. Ella. Damo. Miralee. Dana.
‘Did I make friends with a dog?’
‘You sure did. Also, you’re playing Splendour in the Grass tomorrow.’
Caleb remembered the phone call.
‘But surely … I mean … I thought I dreamed that …’
‘Nope. I talked to Jake this morning. So did Rachel. And Caleb – you re
ally should get up now.’
‘What time is it?’ Caleb asked. He also felt like he should ask what reality it was, because this one seemed decidedly different from usual.
‘It’s eleven-fifteen. You’ve got fifteen minutes. Come on, probably best you have a shower before Jake gets here.’
Caleb’s door opened. ‘Is he up yet?’ Rachel said, poking her head inside.
‘Yep. I don’t think he’s awake properly, though.’
Caleb’s head was spinning. A week ago, he was finished: his ticket to Splendour gone, along with his music career. Now, apparently, he was playing the biggest festival in the country.
‘I can’t,’ he stammered. Caleb had stepped way outside his comfort zone during the last few weeks, but this was too much. The wounds from his only live performance were too fresh and too deep.
Miralee and Rachel shared a knowing glance. ‘We knew you’d say that,’ Miralee said. ‘Why do you think Jake Townsend is coming here?’
Caleb looked at his desk. The pile of posters still sat there, with Jake’s moody image on top. Caleb could barely believe that in fifteen minutes the real version would be occupying the same space.
His mum’s face appeared behind Rachel.
‘Caleb, are you still in bed? Come on, up you get. You’ve got to get to work.’
‘What? You know about this?’
‘I’ve been doing my research, and yes, Rachel and Miralee have filled me in. I have a few questions for this Jake character about this little concert tomorrow.’
‘It’s more than a little concert!’ Miralee yelped.
‘Mum, you’re not going to be weird, are you?’
‘No, Rachel,’ Monica said. ‘I’m just going to make sure that the next strange man who enters my house is not going to be a danger to my children like the last one was.’
‘Hang on!’ Caleb yelled, silencing the room. His head was throbbing. ‘Is this a dream?’ he asked.
‘No!’ replied all three women.
Caleb took stock for a moment, then said the only logical thing he could say, given the circumstances: ‘Jesus effing Christ. Okay – um, Rachel, could you please find me something decent to wear? Mum, I could really use a glass of water, and Miralee – go and find a bucket, just in case. I’ll hit the shower. I stink.’
