by Lily Bernard
“What will happen now between you and Darcy?” Brooks’ voice was full of sadness and perhaps a little anger. ‘How can I compete against a man who has returned from the dead?’
“All I know is that right now I am very confused, and I have no wish to bring injury to either of you.” They both looked down at the gravel path not knowing what to say next.
“I suppose there is nothing I can do to change your mind. Good day, Miss Bennet. I wish you well.”
“Goodbye, Lord Winthrope, and thank you for your kindness.” Elizabeth watched him walk away and then she returned to the house.
Unbeknownst to Elizabeth and David Brooks, Darcy had been watching their conversation from the drawing room window. He was relieved to see Elizabeth return her engagement ring to Brooks but not happy when he kissed her hand before he departed.
Elizabeth soon returned to the drawing room and asked the Bingleys to allow her to be alone with Darcy. Jane and Charles understood their need for privacy and left the room.
“Is Brooks gone?”
“Yes, he is gone.”
Darcy took Elizabeth’s hands in his. “Elizabeth, I know that seeing me today has been a shock, but can we not return to the way things were between us when I left you in Hertfordshire?”
“So many things have occurred today that I cannot think clearly or make any more decisions. I was unofficially betrothed to a man for a few months and then I learned he was dead.” Elizabeth’s eyes filled with tears. “William, I am so happy you are alive and well, but we can never go back to being the people we were. Too much has happened to both of us in the past year and I need to move ahead. I cannot look back any more, there is too much sadness in the past.”
“Elizabeth, what are you saying?”
She took her hands out of Darcy’s grasp. “For now, I think the best thing to do is to say goodbye, Mr. Darcy.”
Darcy’s heart was saddened by Elizabeth’s rejection, but he realized that his sudden appearance had thrown her life into turmoil. He tried to understand her confusion and decided not to press his suit any longer that day. The one thing he was sure of was that he would get Elizabeth to love him again. “Goodbye, Miss Bennet. May God bless you and always keep you safe.” Darcy kissed Elizabeth’s hand and left Birchwood. As he rode away he knew he would never give up his dream of being with Elizabeth.
When Elizabeth went to bed that night, she could not fall asleep. ‘What should I do with the rest of my life? Should I stay at Birchwood and be ‘Aunt Lizzy’ to all of Jane and Charles’ children? I know I can never marry David Brooks. The moment I saw Darcy I realized that my feelings for Brooks were not love and our marriage would not have been what I had dreamt about my entire life. I still feel it would be wrong for me to use Darcy’s money on myself.’
While sleep eluded her, Elizabeth recalled dancing with Darcy at a party at Lucas Lodge many weeks after they had begun their daily morning walks. Early in the evening, Elizabeth had been asked to sing and Charlotte accompanied her on the pianoforte. While she was singing, she noticed that Darcy never took his eyes off of her. Before she sang, she felt that Darcy had been trying to ignore her in such a public setting. After her performance, he could not control his feelings and succumbed to his desire to hold her in his arms. As they danced together, their eyes never left the other’s face. When their hands met, neither wanted to let go in order to complete the necessary steps. When Darcy bowed over her hand at the end of the set, he held her hand much longer than was proper and Elizabeth did not withdraw her hand until Darcy rose and walked away.
Elizabeth spent the remainder of her sleepless night thinking about the walks she and Darcy shared in Hertfordshire. She remembered their many talks, debates and how they laughed together about the absurdities of some of the people they read about in books. They read poetry together and discussed the merits of Blake versus Wordsworth. They had several heated conversations about Mary Wollstonecraft’s Vindication of the Rights of Women. Near dawn, Elizabeth was thinking again about being held in Darcy’s arms while dancing and finally fell asleep.
June 1812
Birchwood Manor
Dear Papa,
I must tell you some surprising and happy news – Mr. Darcy is alive! He came to Birchwood Manor yesterday and I was so shocked to see him that I fainted. I assure you it was not one of Mama’s ‘episodes’. Seeing Mr. Darcy walk into the room was too much for me to comprehend.
Mr. Darcy’s return came shortly after I accepted a marriage proposal from Lord Winthrope. I was surprised when he proposed but I know you and Jane saw the truth of the matter long before I did. I have decided that the best way for me to move forward is not to marry either of them. They are both exceptional men, but I know whatever I do I will be hurting someone I care about. Please do not tell Mama, she would never forgive me for turning down the chance to be Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Darcy AND Lady Winthrope.
Your loving daughter,
Lizzy
“Lizzy, I am thinking about inviting Kitty to the Ball.” Jane and Elizabeth were picking flowers in the garden. “She is almost eighteen and Papa wrote to me and said that she is much less influenced by Lydia these days. She is working hard at improving her drawing skills instead of chasing officers with her younger sister. In fact, Papa said she now wants everyone to call her Catherine because she feels that Kitty is a childish name.”
“I think that it is a wonderful idea. It will be so nice to see Kitty again.”
“You mean Catherine!” Jane teased, and the two eldest Bennet sisters burst into laughter.
Every night before she went to bed, Elizabeth took Darcy’s ring out of her jewelry box and wore it around her neck while she slept. Some mornings she forgot to take it off. Although she thought that they would never wed, she wanted to feel a tangible connection to the man she believed she would always love.
Several days after he first reappeared, Darcy was back at Birchwood Manor. Elizabeth was walking toward the front door when she saw Darcy walking towards her. “Mr. Darcy, I am surprised to see you here. I thought I made myself clear.”
“Miss Bennet, I heard what you said but I am actually here to see Charles. Now that I am back in Derbyshire, Charles has asked me to advise him on several estate matters. I pray my presence here will not cause you any distress.”
Elizabeth ignored Darcy’s question and was doing her best not to fall into the arms of the man she loves. “If you have a moment, Mr. Darcy, I would like to tell you something that I forgot to mention the last time you were here.”
“Of course, madam, I am at your service.”
“I wanted to express my condolences to you on the death of Miss deBourgh. Georgiana told me what happened when she visited here. I am terribly sorry.”
“I thank you for your kindness.” Darcy and Elizabeth stood motionless, just waiting for the other to say something that would reunite them. Darcy had his own plan to win back the heart of the woman he loves. “Miss Bennet, do you still have my signet ring? Richard told me he gave it to you when he saw you in Hertfordshire.”
“Yes, I have it right here.” Elizabeth gazed at Darcy with a look of such profound pain on her face that it almost made Darcy change his mind about his plan. She pulled the ring out of her dress, unclasped the silver chain and handed the ring to Darcy.
“If there is nothing else, I will join Charles in his study. Good day, Miss Bennet.” Darcy placed the ring on his finger and walked away from the woman he loves. The look on her face when he asked for his ring told him all he needed to know about her feelings for him.
“Goodbye, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth felt completely empty inside.
Chapter 23
A few days later, Elizabeth was returning to the house when she saw Darcy leaving Birchwood. As he moved toward his waiting horse, he noticed Elizabeth walking in his direction. Darcy looked at Elizabeth, gave her a brief bow, mounted his horse and rode away. ‘How can he treat me so rudely? He did not even have the courtesy to say good morning to me
. Perhaps his feelings for me were not what I thought they were. Maybe it is better this way. The less I see of him, the easier it will be for me to forget him.’
Later that week, Elizabeth and Jane traveled to Lambton to shop. When they exited the milliners, they saw Darcy coming out of the booksellers on the other side of the street. Before he mounted his horse, he saw them and walked across the street to speak to them. “Good morning, Mrs. Bingley, Miss Bennet.” Darcy bowed.
The ladies curtsied, and both said, “Good morning, Mr. Darcy.”
Darcy looked at Jane and said, “I hope you enjoy your shopping, madam. Good day.” He bowed, walked across the street to where his horse was tied up, and was soon on his way back to Pemberley.
Jane looked at her sister and could see the hurt on her face. “Lizzy, are you well?”
“Yes, please do not worry about me. I have made my decision and now I am dealing with the consequences.” She paused and said quietly, “good bye Mr. Darcy.”
Jane could easily see that Elizabeth and Darcy were still very much in love with each other. She did not know exactly what Darcy was trying to do but she could see how much his feigned lack of interest in Lizzy had distressed her dear sister.
Several days later, Darcy encountered Elizabeth while she was walking in the garden. He had decided that his plan to win her back by ignoring her had gone far enough. “May I join you, Miss Bennet?”
Elizabeth was so relieved that Darcy had spoken to her that she laughed, “the last time you asked me that question we ended up betrothed!”
“I told her this: her laughter light, Is ringing in my ears.” They both looked into each other’s eyes and then Darcy’s voice became more serious. “However, let us not jump that far ahead. I only suggested a walk.” They smiled at each other and after walking a short distance, Elizabeth took the handkerchief that Colonel Fitzwilliam gave her out of her pocket.
“When Colonel Fitzwilliam came to Longbourn, he gave me your handkerchief with my hair in it. When I saw it, I knew that he was telling me the truth, you were lost to me forever.” Elizabeth held the cloth tightly in her hand and made no effort to return it to its original owner. Darcy thought better of asking for it back.
“Elizabeth, the illusion of my death had to be as real as possible in order to protect you and Georgiana. I knew how headstrong you can be, and I felt that if you thought I was alive somewhere you would try to find me. I could never risk Wickham harming you. I did everything in my power to keep you and Georgiana safe. I let you both think I was dead and I left the two people I love most in the world broken hearted.”
“I am still trying to comprehend everything that has happened in the past few weeks.”
“I can understand your feelings.” ‘And I have all the time in the world to make you love me again,’ Darcy thought to himself.
July 1812
Longbourn
Dear Lizzy,
Thank you for your letter. I was very happy to learn that Mr. Darcy is alive. Although I have not mentioned it to Mrs. Bennet, you are correct, she would be extremely vexed to hear that you will not be the next Lady Winthrope. Lizzy, I knew Mr. Darcy was alive before I read your letter. He came to Longbourn on his way north to Derbyshire. He was here to ask for my blessing on your betrothal and gave me the marriage settlement to look over. He confirmed what you told me about being on his way to ask for my permission last year when he received word of Miss Darcy’s abduction. Daughter, Mr. Darcy is a very good man. Who you marry is your decision, but I would think carefully before rejecting him. Darcy told me that he has been protecting our family since Miss Darcy was taken. He only lifted his protection when Mr. Wickham was no longer a threat to us.
Catherine, heaven forbid I forget and call her Kitty, asked me to tell you that she would be delighted to join her sisters at Birchwood Manor. Lydia is very unhappy that she was not invited to the Ball. As usual, your youngest sister thinks that she should be the center of attention. I do not believe she is truly jealous of her sister’s trip because the militia has been posted in Meryton until the winter. Like your Mama and your Aunt Phillips, she likes nothing better than making herself ridiculous in front of a man in a red coat.
We are all rejoicing about the news of the newest addition to the family. Jane made the mistake of telling your Mama that the baby is expected to be born around Christmas time and she is already planning our trip north in December.
I look forward to seeing you, my Lizzy, at that time, if not before. Please do not make a decision about Mr. Darcy until you are absolutely sure you can live without him by your side.
Papa
Darcy was back at Birchwood again and he and Elizabeth accidentally met while they were out walking. They were walking together in silence when Elizabeth asked, “Mr. Darcy, will you tell me how Mr. Wickham died?”
“I suppose it is time that you should know all of it. I was in hiding until a few weeks ago because it took a very long time for me to recover from my injury and no one could find Wickham. It turned out that he was hiding right under our noses in London. When Richard finally learned of his whereabouts, he and some of his men went to capture him. When they got to the dockside inn where he was staying, they found Wickham dead.”
“You mean he was already dead?”
“Yes, it seems that shortly before Richard arrived, there had been an argument over some unpaid gambling debts between Wickham and another man. Wickham had long run out of the money he had won gambling in London last year. He was back to his old custom of leaving unpaid debts everywhere he gambled. The other man was familiar with Wickham’s unscrupulous behavior and when Wickham reached into his boot to pull out his knife, the man had already removed his pistol and he fatally shot Wickham. Most of the people at the inn just turned their backs on the scene. When Richard and his men arrived, most of the drama was over. Richard sent me an express and I was able to come out of hiding and return to the woman I love.”
“Thank you for telling me. I am glad it was not you or the Colonel who killed him. I know I should not feel this way, but I am glad that such an evil man no longer exists in this world.”
“Richard was relieved that someone had taken care of Wickham for him. We had his body sent to Pemberley and he is buried next to his parents. And now, you know the whole story and I believe we should speak of happier times.”
“Mr. Darcy, there is something I would like to show you.” Darcy looked at her questioningly and Elizabeth gave him a little smile. They started walking toward the Birchwood tenants’ village. Elizabeth greeted many of the children and their parents who were busy working outside their homes.
As they came upon the back side of a large building, Darcy asked, “What is the purpose of this large structure?” He followed Elizabeth to the front of the building and Darcy saw the sign.
The Fitzwilliam Darcy School
Established 1811
“Elizabeth, I do not understand. Why is my name on this school?”
“Colonel Fitzwilliam told me about the account you set up for me in the London bank. I could never spend that money, at least not on myself. When I learned that there was no school for the tenants’ children, I thought I could use some of your money to do some good. In addition to helping the tenants, it was my way of doing something for Jane and Charles, to repay their kindness to me. They took me in at the lowest point of my life and I will always be grateful to them. Some of the local men earned extra money by helping to build the school and even some of the older children helped. Everyone was happy to make the school a reality. I made the necessary enquiries and we hired a qualified schoolmaster. And here you see the results of our labors. I hope you do not object to my withdrawing some of the money to build the school.”
“I cannot think of a better use of the money I left for you. When I was in London, my solicitor told me you had made a small withdrawal. I am delighted that the money went to such a worthy endeavor. It is the name that does not seem quite right.”
“It was
your money and I wanted the school to be a small tribute to you after your death. Before you returned, I would often walk past the school just to see your name on the building.” Elizabeth now had tears falling down her cheeks. She quickly composed herself and said, “you should hear the children crowing about attending the Darcy School.”
“Thank you, my love. The school was a wonderful idea and I am proud my name is on it.” Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand and kissed the inside of her wrist.
She looked into his eyes and smiled. “I think it is time we return to the house.”
Chapter 24
July 1812
Catherine Bennet arrived at Birchwood Manor three days before the Bingley’s Summer Ball. When she walked through the front door she found the house in a state of chaos. Furniture was in the process of being moved, flowers were being arranged and chandeliers were being polished until they sparkled like the stars. Jane and Elizabeth were very happy to see their sister and soon after her arrival Jane enlisted Catherine’s help with the preparations for the Ball. Over the next three days, the Bennet sisters worked together tirelessly to ensure everything was as it should be for the Bingley’s first formal event.
On the morning of the Ball, Elizabeth, Jane and Catherine slowly walked from room to room making sure that everything was ready for the night ahead. Jane was especially anxious since this would be her first time as the hostess for such a large event. As the women were finishing their inspection, they heard a carriage pull up to the front door.
