But what of the man walking next to her?
Was their future to be as friends, or more?
And dare she ask him now?
They stopped when they reached the pasture fence. Dolly cropped at the grass, and a red bird lighted on a nearby tree limb. Jacob saw it, glanced at Hannah and then started laughing.
“Did I miss something?”
“I think my mamm is telling me to get on with it.”
“Your mamm?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve always loved a gut story.”
Hannah was aware that her heart beat faster when she was around Jacob. She didn’t know what to do with her hands—her arms felt awkward whether she crossed them or let them swing by her side. She felt like a teenager who hadn’t quite grown into her limbs, and she blushed at the slightest look from him. Were those things love? Or was love the simple fact that she couldn’t imagine her life without Jacob in it?
He told her about his mother and how she loved red birds and how she said they were a sort of messenger from Gotte.
“Did she believe that?”
“I’m not sure. She could have been teasing. On the other hand...maybe she was serious. I only know that I’ve been seeing red birds when I needed a nudge in the right direction lately.”
“And you needed to see one now?”
They were leaning against the pasture fence, their arms crossed on the wooden beam, watching the mare. Jacob glanced sideways at her, a crooked smile pulling at his mouth. “Ya, I did.”
* * *
Jacob knew now was the time.
He’d known it in the workshop when Micah had told him to go and see Hannah, to ask her, to face his future.
He’d known it when he’d seen Hannah waiting on the porch.
And he’d known it when the red bird had alighted on the fence beside them.
Still, it took courage to ask a girl to marry you, to spend her life with you.
His heart was hammering against his chest, and every time he glanced at Hannah his palms began to sweat. He was acting like a youngie, like the lovesick pup that Micah had mentioned. That image brought him to his senses. He wasn’t either of those things. He was a man in love, and it was past time to find out if Hannah felt the same way.
He turned to her, clasped her hands in his own and said, “I need to ask you something.”
“You do?”
“I care about you, Hannah.”
“And I care about you.”
“I care about you and Matthew.”
“He adores you.” Her voice was lower, huskier, and he thought he saw tears sparkling in her eyes. He prayed they were happy tears.
He’d lived in the past for so long that he felt as if his feet were encased in cement, his tongue was tied and his brain had stopped working completely. Somehow he needed to break free from that past.
Taking a deep breath, he squeezed Hannah’s hands and plunged into his future. “Will you marry me?”
“Wow.”
“Wow yes or wow no?”
“I... I wasn’t expecting that.”
A pretty blush worked its way up her neck. Jacob had the absurd idea that he might be dreaming this entire thing, that he might wake up and find the lovely woman standing beside him, looking up at him with those beautiful brown eyes, was a figment of his imagination.
“I’m surprised is all.”
“Good surprised or bad surprised?” Before she could answer, he rushed on. “I know that I’m not a perfect man, and I would understand if you said no because living with me, with a man like me—”
“Do you love me?”
He’d been staring at their hands but now he jerked his head up, reached out and touched her cheek. “Yes, Hannah. I love you, and I love Matthew, and it would be an honor to be your husband and his father.”
“We love you too.”
“You do?”
“Ya. Didn’t you know?”
“I’d hoped.”
He pulled her to him then, relief flooding through his soul. “You love me, Hannah?”
“Yes.” She laughed and pulled back, gazed up into his eyes. “You’re a gut man, Jacob, and a gut friend. I wasn’t sure...wasn’t sure that you’d want your life to be complicated so.”
“Everyone’s life is complicated, even Plain folks’.”
“Matthew’s crisis has passed, for now, but there will be others.”
“True of any family.”
“It won’t be easy.”
“I don’t expect it to be.”
“But you’re sure?”
“Ya. Are you sure, Hannah?” He took her hand and raised it to his cheek, to his scars, held it there. “These won’t bother you?”
“We all have scars. Yours are simply on the outside.”
He stepped closer, kissed her softly once and then again, pulled her into his arms. They stood there, with the fall breeze dropping even more leaves around them and Jacob thought that he could feel Hannah’s heart beating against his.
When she finally stepped back, still smiling, he asked, “Who do you want to tell first?”
“Matthew. Let’s go and tell Matthew.”
* * *
His Amish Sweetheart
Jo Ann Brown
For John Jakaitis
Thank you for helping us find our way home.
For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time,
then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place;
but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed:
and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom
for such a time as this?
—Esther 4:14
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Epilogue
Chapter One
Paradise Springs
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
Esther Stoltzfus balanced the softball bat on her shoulder. Keeping her eye on the boy getting ready to pitch the ball, she smiled. Did her scholars guess that recess, when the October weather was perfect for playing outside, was her favorite part of the day, too? The kinder probably couldn’t imagine their teacher liked to play ball as much as they did.
This was her third year teaching on her own. Seeing understanding in a kind’s eyes when the scholar finally grasped an elusive concept delighted her. She loved spending time with the kinder.
Her family had recently begun dropping hints she should be walking out with some young man. Her older brothers didn’t know that, until eight months ago, she’d been walking out—and sneaking out for some forbidden buggy racing—with Alvin Lee Peachy. Probably because none of them could have imagined their little sister having such an outrageous suitor. Alvin Lee pushed the boundaries of the Ordnung, and there were rumors he intended to jump the fence and join the Englisch world. Would she have gone with him if he’d asked? She didn’t know, and she never would because when she began to worry about his racing buggies and fast life, he’d dumped her and started courting Luella Hartz. In one moment, she’d lost the man she loved and her gut friend.
She’d learned her lesson. A life of adventure and daring wasn’t for her. From now on, she wasn’t going to risk her heart unless she knew, without a doubt, it was safe. She wouldn’t consider spending time with a guy who wasn’t as serious and stolid as a
bishop.
As she gave a practice swing and the kinder urged her on excitedly, she glanced at her assistant teacher, Neva Fry, who was playing first base. Neva, almost two years younger than Esther, was learning what she needed so she could take over a school of her own.
Esther grinned in anticipation of the next play. The ball came in a soft arc, and she swung the bat. Not with all her strength. Some of the outfielders were barely six years old, and she didn’t want to chance them getting hurt by a line drive.
The kinder behind her cheered while the ones in the field shouted to each other to catch the lazy fly ball. She sped to first base, a large stone set in place by the daeds who had helped build the school years ago. Her black sneaker skidded as she touched the stone with one foot and turned to head toward second. Seeing one of the older boys catch the ball, she slowed and clapped her hands.
“Well done, Jay!” she called.
With a wide grin, the boy who, at fourteen, was in his final year at the school, gave her a thumbs-up.
Smiling, she knew she should be grateful Alvin Lee hadn’t proposed. She wasn’t ready to give up teaching. She wanted a husband and a home and kinder of her own, but not until she met the right man. One who didn’t whoop at the idea of danger. One she would have described as predictable a few months ago. Now that safe, dependable guy sounded like a dream come true. Well, maybe not a dream, but definitely not a nightmare.
Checking to make sure her kapp was straight, Esther smoothed the apron over her dress, which was her favorite shade of rose. She’d selected it and a black apron in the style the Englischers called a pinafore when she saw the day would be perfect for playing softball. She held up her hands, and Jay threw her the ball. She caught it easily.
Before she could tell the scholars it was time to go in for afternoon lessons, several began to chant, “One more inning! One more inning!”
Esther hesitated, knowing how few sunny, warm days remained before winter. The kinder had worked hard during the morning, and she hadn’t had to scold any of them for not paying attention. Not even Jacob Fisher.
She glanced at the small, white schoolhouse. As she expected, the eight-year-old with a cowlick that made a black exclamation point at his crown sat alone on the porch. She invited him to play each day, and each day he resisted. She wished she could find a way to break through the walls Jacob had raised, walls around himself, walls to keep pain at bay.
She closed her eyes as she recalled what she’d been told by Jacob’s elderly onkel, who was raising him. Jacob had been with his parents, walking home from visiting a neighbor, when they were struck by a drunk driver. The boy had been thrown onto the shoulder. When he regained consciousness, he’d discovered his parents injured by the side of the road. No one, other than Jacob and God, knew if they spoke final words to him, but he’d watched them draw their last breaths. The trial for the hit-and-run driver had added to the boy’s trauma, though he hadn’t had to testify and the Amish community tried to shield him.
Now he was shattered, taking insult at every turn and exploding with anger. Or else he said nothing and squirmed until he couldn’t sit any longer and had to wander around the room. Working with his onkel, Titus Fisher, she tried to make school as comfortable for Jacob as possible.
She’d used many things she hoped would help—art projects, story writing, extra assistance with his studies, though the boy was very intelligent in spite of his inability to complete many of his lessons. She’d failed at every turn to draw him out from behind those walls he’d raised around himself. She realized she must find another way to reach him because she wasn’t helping him by cajoling him in front of the other kinder. So now, she lifted him up in prayer. Those wouldn’t fail, but God worked on His own time. He must have a reason for not yet bringing healing to Jacob’s young heart.
Or hers.
She chided herself. Losing a suitor didn’t compare with losing one’s parents, but her heart refused to stop hurting.
“All right,” she said, smiling at the rest of the scholars because she didn’t want anyone to know what she was thinking. She’d gotten gut at hiding the truth. “One more inning, but you need to work extra hard this afternoon.”
Heads nodded eagerly. Bouncing the ball in her right hand, she tossed it to the pitcher and took her place in center field where she could help the other outfielders, seven-year-old Olen and Freda who was ten.
The batter swung at the first three pitches and struck out. The next batter kept hitting foul balls, which sent the kinder chasing them. Suddenly a loud thwack announced a boy had connected with the ball.
It headed right for Esther. She backpedaled two steps. A quick glance behind her assured she could go a little farther before she’d fall down the hill. Shouts warned her the runner was already on his way to second base.
She reached to catch the ball. Her right foot caught a slippery patch of grass, and she lost her balance. She windmilled her arms, fighting to stay on her feet, but it was impossible. She dropped backward—and hit a solid chest. Strong arms kept her from ending up on her bottom. She grasped the arms as her feet continued to slide.
The ball fell at her feet. Pulling herself out of the arms, she scooped the ball up and threw it to second base. But it was too late. The run had already scored.
Behind her, a deep laugh brushed the small hairs curling at her nape beneath her kapp. Heat scored Esther’s face as she realized she’d tumbled into a man’s arms.
Her gaze had to rise to meet his, though he stood below her on the hill. He must be more than six feet tall, like her brothers, but he wasn’t one of her brothers. The gut-looking man was a few years older than she was. No beard softened the firm line of his jaw. Beneath his straw hat, his brown eyes crinkled with his laugh.
“You haven’t changed a bit, Esther Stoltzfus!” he said with another chuckle. “Still willing to risk life and limb to get the ball.”
He knew her? Who was he?
Her eyes widened. She recognized the twinkle in those dark eyes. Black hair dropped across his forehead, and he pushed it aside carelessly. Like a clap of thunder, realization came as she remembered the boy who had made that exact motion. She looked more closely and saw the small scar beneath his right eye...just like the one on the face of a boy she’d once considered her very best friend.
“Nate Zook?” she asked, not able to believe her own question.
“Ja.” His voice was much deeper than when she’d last heard it. “Though I go by Nathaniel now.”
When she’d last seen him, he’d been...ten or eleven? She’d been eight. Before his family moved away, she and Nate, along with Micah and Daniel, her twin brothers, had spent most days together. Then, one day, the Zooks were gone. Her brothers had been astonished when they rode their scooters to Nate’s house and discovered it was empty. When her mamm said the family had moved to Indiana in search of a better life, she wondered if it’d been as much a surprise for Nate as for her and her brothers.
She’d gone with Daniel and Micah to play at his grandparents’ farm in a neighboring district when he visited the next summer, but she shouldn’t have. She’d accepted a dare from a friend to hold Nate’s hand. She couldn’t remember which friend it’d been, but at the time she’d been excited to do something audacious. She’d embarrassed herself by following through and gripping his hand so tightly he winced and made it worse by telling him that she planned to marry him when they grew up. He hadn’t come back the following summer. She’d been grateful she didn’t have to face him after her silliness, and miserable because she missed him.
That was in the past. Here stood Nate—Nathaniel—Zook again, a grown man who’d arrived in time to keep her from falling down the hill.
She should say something. Several kinder came to stand beside her, curious about what was going on. She needed to show she wasn’t that silly little girl any longer, but all that came out was, “What are yo
u doing in Paradise Springs?”
He opened his mouth to answer. Whatever he was about to say was drowned out by a shriek from the schoolhouse.
Esther whirled and gasped when she saw two boys on the ground, fists flying. She ran to stop the fight. Finding out why Nathaniel had returned to Paradise Springs after more than a decade would have to wait. But not too long, because she was really curious why he’d come back now.
* * *
Nathaniel Zook stared after Esther as she raced across the grass, her apron flapping on her skirt. Years ago, she’d been able to outrun him and her brothers, though they were almost five years older than she was. She’d been much shorter then, and her knees, which were now properly concealed beneath her dress, had been covered with scrapes. Her bright eyes were as blue, and their steady gaze contained the same strength.
He looked past her to where two boys were rolling on the grass. Should he help? One of the boys in the fight was nearly as big as Esther was.
“Oh, Jacob Fisher! He keeps picking fights,” said a girl with a sigh.
“Or dropping books on the floor or throwing papers around.” A boy shook his head. “He wants attention. That’s what my mamm says.”
Nathaniel didn’t wait to listen to any more because when Esther bent to try to put a halt to the fight, a fist almost struck her. He crossed the yard and pushed past the gawking kinder. A blow to Esther’s middle knocked her back a couple of steps. Again he caught her and steadied her, then he grasped both boys by their suspenders and tugged them apart.
The shorter boy struggled to get away, his brown eyes snapping with fury. Flinging his fists out wildly, he almost connected with the taller boy’s chin.
Shoving them away from each other, Nathaniel said, “Enough. If you can’t honestly tell each other you’re sorry for acting foolishly, at least shake hands.”
“I’m not shaking hands with him!” The taller boy was panting, and blood dripped from the left corner of his mouth. “He’ll jump me again for no reason.”
Amish Beginnings Page 19
