Love Me or Miss Me

by Dream Jordan

  “Kate, you should come with us,” said Marlon.

  I smirked at the idea. I knew he wasn’t joking because I’d been invited to go to the movies with them in the past. But now that I had Percy in my life, I didn’t feel so pitiful over his suggestion this time.

  “I would love to join y’all,” I began, “but I’m meeting Percy in a few.”

  As soon as I said this, my BlackBerry buzzed in my pocket. Amazing, I thought, just look at how strongly I was connected to my baby!

  “Hey, sweetheart,” Percy began, “I’m here earlier than expected. Where are you?”

  “Court Street.”

  “Court Street?” he repeated. “How far away from Jay Street?”

  “A few blocks away … I’m in front of the movie theater.”

  Guessing it was Percy, Marlon tapped me on the shoulder. “You guys should join us. Ask him!”

  “Who’s that?” asked Percy, with sudden bass in his voice.

  “Marlon,” I said, taken aback by Percy’s tone.

  “Who?”

  “Marlon,” I repeated. “Um … you remember.… You met him at the African Festival … Felicia’s boyfriend … and she’s here, too.”

  “But why are you there with them, when you’re supposed to be meeting me?”

  “Because I didn’t expect you to be ready until six.”

  Percy paused and then said, “Well, I’m ready now. Are you?”

  “Yes, I’m ready,” I said. “I only had to drop something off real quick,” I added, defensively. I wanted to snap on Percy for snapping on me, but I couldn’t; I had an audience.

  “Well, I’m coming to pick you up,” said Percy. “Wait for me there.”

  “Okay,” I said, feeling funny, and hoping it didn’t show in my face.

  I glanced at Felicia. Her face looked just as funny. Knowing my homegirl, I already felt her “concern.” The fact that I had to explain myself to Percy clearly didn’t sit right with her.

  Marlon was either playing it off, or didn’t have a clue, because he said, “We should really do the double-date thing soon, though. So let’s make it happen, Kate!”

  I forced a chuckle. Then Felicia had the nerve to say, “I doubt that she can.”

  “You doubt what?” I asked, with an attitude.

  Felicia had nothing to say.

  Yeah, you better zip it, chick.

  There was no need for Felicia to be a smart aleck about my relationship in front of Marlon. This was exactly why I had avoided calling her smart-alecky-butt all week. I knew if I spoke to her too soon, I’d end up slipping about the Broadway play, and she’d end up lecturing me about “early” gifts. I didn’t need her in my ear flapping her gums about nothing.

  Don’t get me wrong. I appreciated Felicia’s concern—whether valid or not—but she was really overdoing it right now, eyebrows raised, all dramatic for no reason.

  Marlon checked his watch and told Felicia, “Listen, if you want to get popcorn, we better go.”

  “True,” said Felicia. “Talk to you later, Kate.” She gave me a stiff hug good-bye. Then Marlon hugged me, too, and they went inside the theater arm in arm. Five minutes later, Percy pulled up to the curb. I hopped inside his car.

  “So where’s your friends?” he asked, in a suspicious tone.

  “They had to leave.” I fidgeted in my seat.

  “So soon?”

  “Their movie was about to start,” I explained. Honestly, I didn’t appreciate Percy’s line of questioning, but I wanted to keep an open mind about it. Come to think of it, If I called Percy and heard a female’s voice in the background, I’d probably be tripping, too.

  “I can call Felicia if you like,” I volunteered, hoping he’d say no.

  “But did I ask you to call her?”

  “No.”

  “Okay then.”

  Percy peeled down Court Street. He hopped onto Atlantic Avenue, and started driving like a madman.

  By the time we got to his father’s house, I was not in the best of moods. So when he laid me on the couch, trying to go for my drawers, I told him no with so much firmness in my voice.

  “Why?” he asked, still tugging at the elastic of my thong.

  “I’m not ready,” I said.

  “But if two people are feeling each other, the natural thing to do is to make love.”

  “Yeah, I hear you, but fall back,” I wanted to say. Instead, I just lay there quietly, pushing his hand away every time he tried me. This was such a drag. Maybe we needed to do more outdoorsy activities. Oh well, I thought, what a letdown.

  Percy finally sat up on the couch, clearly pissed. He wouldn’t talk to me. And I’m no dentist; I wasn’t about to pull teeth. Besides, what happened to the guy who told me he respected my wishes when he had tried me last time? This was a different Percy; I wanted the other one back.

  “Maybe I should go home,” I said, sadly.

  “Yeah, maybe you should.” Percy jumped up from the couch, grabbed his car keys, and drove me to the F train instead of all the way home. Not a problem for me. It was only eight o’clock, a nice warm summer night, and during my walk home from the train station, I had some time to think. Told my Lifebook all about my thoughts.

  My relationship with Percy is starting to feel like a roller-coaster ride. My stomach dips and flips at the thought of disappointing him. Why was he so huffy over me not wanting to have sex with him yet? He claimed he can see himself with me for a long time, so what’s his rush? If Percy expects to get my treasure, then he needs to start treating me like gold, all of the time, not just some of the time. I may be new at this relationship stuff, but I have to stay true to myself, no matter what.

  Chapter 18

  CAN I SEE YOU TODAY?

  I read Percy’s text, scowling. I was still upset about yesterday. I sat on the tub’s edge, glaring at the screen of my phone.

  Then he texted me again, a split second later.

  I WANT TO TAKE YOU OUT SOMEWHERE SPECIAL, BABY. PLEASE?

  Baby?

  Please.

  Percy was still getting no answer from me. I couldn’t believe his utter flipping nerve. He had practically kicked me out of his father’s house for not giving him any sex, making me feel like a defected object he could no longer use, and yet, here he was, texting me like nothing happened? True, I was the one who had suggested me leaving, but he didn’t have to jump at the chance to show me the dang door.

  I’M REALLY SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY.

  Okay, finally, a “sorry.” At least now he was showing me some accountability. However, hold up. Sorry or not, I was still wondering if I should even respond to Percy.

  But before I could make up my mind, my phone vibrated in my hand. Percy’s name lit up in lights. I answered in a lackluster voice.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, sweetheart, did you get my texts?”

  “Yes, all three of them,” I said, sarcastically. I couldn’t help myself. Nobody craps on Kate without repercussions.

  “Well … I wanted to say this to you over the phone, instead of a text.… I’m sorry for the way I treated you, okay?”

  Percy’s ears were met with silence.

  “Hello, Kate?”

  I had the right to remain silent. I wanted to take in his words, detect signs of sincerity in his voice. I wasn’t about to take him back, just like that.

  “Helllooo?”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  “I said I’m sorry.… I’m really, really sorry for the way I treated you.… I lost my temper, and I’m sorry about that, okay, sweetheart?”

  Percy’s shaky voice softened my resolve like Silly Putty. He was sounding so pitiful and sorry right now that I had no other choice but to lower my defenses.

  “I accept your apology,” I finally said. “It’s over and done with.”

  “So, can I see you today?”

  I paused in thought. It was a quiet day. Nothing to do. What the heck. “Yes, I’m free.”

  “Cool,”
exclaimed Percy. “I have a special day planned for us. So wear something really nice for me. Okay, sweetheart?”

  “Okay, I will,” I said. Meanwhile I was thinking, Oh boy, here we go again. What to wear? What to wear?

  “I can’t wait to see you, baby,” said Percy.

  For some reason, I didn’t respond. I just got the meet-up details, hung up the phone, and immediately started fretting over what to throw over my body.

  As soon as I tucked my phone away in its hiding place, it vibrated. I opened the cabinet door back up, pulled out my celly, only to discover a text from Felicia, which raised my blood pressure.

  JUST WANT TO LET U KNOW, IT’S NOT OK FOR PERCY TO BE QUESTIONING U LIKE THAT.

  HE WASN’T QUESTIONING ME. WE WORKED IT OUT. NO NEED TO WORRY.

  IT’S TOO LATE. I’M WORRIED.

  WELL, DON’T BE. TTYL.

  What a knucklehead, I thought, putting my phone away. If I wasn’t so concerned with preparing for my date, I would’ve called Felicia up to set her completely straight. I wanted to tell her that she had no right to talk down to me like I had no sense when it comes to men. Okay, I really don’t have much sense when it comes to them, but she didn’t have to be so freaking condescending about it! Who uses phrases like, “It’s not ok,” to their homegirls? Come on now, let’s be for real.

  Two seconds later, Felicia actually called me. I sent her butt straight to voice mail. Anyway, back to my date with Percy. I needed something to wear.

  Of course now I couldn’t turn to Felicia for help. So Jeselle ended up saving my day. She hooked me up by letting me borrow her large orange cotton V-neck shirt that was so long it could pass for a cute mini-dress, and her thick brown leather belt adorned my waist. Wasn’t the best outfit, but my curvy shape brought the sexy back.

  Jeselle flat-ironed my hair, however; it was too thick to get straight, so I wrapped her tan paisley silk scarf around my head, like a headband, and left the back of my hair flowing; I was Afro-puffing it like Foxy Kate, ya dig? Done with that, I slid my black open-toe sandals on my feet, and I was ready to bounce.

  “Looking fly, ma,” exclaimed Jeselle. “Just get your lip gloss poppin’, and you’re good to go!”

  “Man, listen, you really came through for me,” I said.

  Jeselle flashed a cheesy grin. “Who got your back, homie?”

  “You do.” I smiled and reached out to hug her for the first time. Fortunately, Jeselle wasn’t afraid to hug, like I used to be. And she had no idea how much our new friendship meant to me.

  Because at the moment, it felt like I was about to lose my best friend over a silly situation. Of all things, a guy? I didn’t want that to happen for nothing in the world. I just needed Felicia to mind her own business; I never stuck my nose in her and Marlon’s affairs.

  “Why you suddenly look so sad?” asked Jeselle, bringing me back to the present. “Flippin’ moods like a light switch.”

  “Oh … it’s nothing,” I replied, turning away from her concerned stare. “Anyway, my man is waiting. Gotta run.”

  “Alright, ma, have fun!”

  Yeah, I really hoped so. No complications with Percy this time around. No drama. No misunderstandings. This girl just wanted to have fun.

  Chapter 19

  Percy picked me up on Jay Street at seven o’clock sharp as planned. Before I hopped inside the car, I spotted a single red rose sitting on my seat. “Aw, thank you,” I said, sticking my nose inside of the petals to get a good whiff. “Smells really good.”

  “You’re welcome, love.”

  We drove to Brooklyn Heights, the ritzy part of Brooklyn. When I got out of the car, Percy looked me up and down. “Oh snap, you look like a pumpkin all dressed in orange” he said, chuckling, “but at least your hair looks decent this time.”

  His words were a lethal blow to my head. Shot down again. I had tried so hard to look good … I guessed orange wasn’t my color. I just couldn’t seem to measure up for him.

  On the other hand, Percy looked utterly gorgeous. He wore a button-down crispy white shirt, baggy jeans hanging slightly off his sexy behind. The waves in his hair rippled wonderfully and his edge up was flawless. He was the picture of perfection. Wished he felt the same way about me.

  “Let’s go,” said Percy, grabbing my hand. He led me to an extravagant restaurant situated on the corner of Montague Street. As soon as we stepped inside, a tall, blond hostess rushed up to us. “Table for two?”

  She pulled back a red velvet curtain and led us into a plush fancy room full of dressed-up people. When we were seated in a quiet corner, I looked around admiringly at a large mural of Italy on the left wall; the rest of the place was all cream and gold. The tablecloth was cream, the silverware was actually gold. I felt like a queen for the day.

  “Classy, right?” said Percy.

  “Very,” I replied, still looking around in awe. This was the fanciest restaurant I’d ever been in. Percy was right. McDonald’s just couldn’t compare.

  The hostess handed us our menus. There was so much fancy food to choose from. Five minutes later a pretty, slim, light-skinned waitress wearing all black came up to our table. “My name is Bianca, I’ll be your server for today.”

  “Pretty name,” said Percy, flashing the same sexy smile he usually flashed me.

  Um … okay.… Well, Bianca was very pretty, and Percy wasn’t blind. No need to trip over this … I guessed.

  “What can I start you off with?” she asked.

  I was about to ask Bianca if the chicken Parmesan came with—

  “Two glasses of water and the lasagna special, please,” Percy, ordered before I could even open my mouth.

  I placed the menu down, feeling like a mute fool.

  Bianca took our menus and sashayed away. Percy looked after her, but I tried not to let it bother me. I felt so insecure, but I didn’t want it showing up in my attitude. So I blurted any old thing to take my mind off the incident. “I’ve never seen a ceiling painted gold,” I said, looking upward.

  Percy grabbed my hands and held them for a long time. “Like I told you before, I can show you a whole lot of things.… I want to make you happy.”

  But I didn’t feel so happy at the moment.

  Out of the blue, Percy started snapping his fingers, rocking in his seat and singing, “I just love to be around you, oh baby. You been so good to me…”

  “Lenny Williams,” I interrupted, trying to stay upbeat. “I like that song, too.”

  Percy’s eyes widened in surprise. “What you know about Lenny Williams, young’ un?”

  “My foster father used to play his old-school records 24/7,” I explained, now smiling at the memory of Ted dancing around the house trying to imitate Lenny. “Oh, oh, oh, oh, I love you,” he would croon to Lynn, sounding off-key but extremely sweet.

  In all of the houses I had ever lived in, it was rare for me to see a husband crazy about his wife. Singing love songs to her. Showing her respect all day, every day. For instance, this past May, driving downtown with Ted to pick out a gift for Lynn on “Foster” Mother’s Day. We were in Macy’s, standing on a dumb long line, when a tall brown-skinned woman with ridiculous beauty and curves spun around to ask if she could step out of line real quick. She held up a red silk nightgown and pointed out the unwinding thread at the bottom of it. “No good,” she explained.

  “No problem, dear,” replied Ted, wearing a friendly grin.

  The woman must have been encouraged by the word “dear,” so when she got back in line, she started forcing small talk on us, batting her eyelashes and smiling the whole time. True, Ted’s probably handsome for his age, but dang, have some pride, lady! She was acting so thirsty, I was embarrassed for her. Ted called everybody “dear,” even his male boss, just as a running joke.

  But the woman pressed on, not catching the hint. “Is that your daughter?” she asked, flashing me a fake smile.

  “Sure is,” said Ted, without hesitation, making me feel good inside. I felt even bet
ter when Ted showed the lady no love, even when she found out he was a mechanic and asked for his business card, clearly trying to get his digits on the slick.

  Click.

  Ted hung up on her request by simply saying, “Sorry, I ran out of cards.” Then he told the thirsty broad to have a nice day. When we left the store, I jokingly said, “Wow, Lynn has you trained!”

  “No,” he corrected. “Lynn has my heart.”

  “Okay, player,” I said, patting him on the back. “That was a smooth line you just laid on me.”

  “It’s not a line,” said Ted, his face turning serious. “It’s the truth. And when you’re old enough to date, make sure you command the same respect from your guy. Make sure you have his whole heart. Never settle for less.”

  Never settle for less.

  Was I settling for less now? I wondered. I wished Percy would hold me down like Ted did for Lynn. Then again, maybe Ted’s discipline came with his age.

  But that thought didn’t hold weight for long. What about Marlon, even younger than Percy, and holding Felicia down all day, every day? His eyes never strayed to the next chick as far as I could see. As a matter of fact, Marlon was the first guy ever to pay my big boobies no mind when I first met him; he kept his pupils trained on Felicia the whole entire time.

  “I’m glad you came out with me, baby,” said Percy, breaking into my thoughts.

  “Me, too,” I muttered.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I said, looking down at my lap. Percy reached for my hand across the table and stroked it. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I repeated, forcing a bogus smile. “I’m good,” I added.

  To make my words match my mood, I tried to think of the bright side. I looked around the elegant restaurant that Percy was nice enough to take me to. This was more than any guy had ever done for me. Might as well be grateful and make the best of my night.