Love Me or Miss Me
Page 39
* * *
When it was time to leave Common Grounds, I was actually sad to go. Dirty house and all, I had mad love for all the girls I was leaving behind. We had more bad times than good in a short period of time, but these girls had my back during my darkest hour, and I would never forget them for that. Jeselle cried the hardest when my bags were officially packed.
“Girl, you act like I’m headed to Siberia,” I joked, trying to keep the mood light. “The Bronx isn’t that far.”
“Shut up, silly,” Jeselle said, between sniffles. She hugged me so long and so tight, like she wanted to come with me. I wished I could take her, but she wasn’t ready for Green Hills. Their rules were off the hook. Strict curfew, maintaining grades, actual chores—what? Jeselle would be ready to choke a chick if she had to live there.
Green Hills was everything Mrs. Cooper had promised, to my relief. Big clean home in a beautiful section of the Bronx. Nice and friendly staff, and crazy cool girls who were on the same page as me, all about their school grind. It was going to take some time for me to get used to their routine, but I was looking forward to knowing them, to growing with them. This year was all about growing and learning, and never looking back.
I’m a survivor. Always have been. Always will be.
Chapter 34
It wasn’t until the middle of September that I felt ready to return to familiar faces. It started out with a phone call from Felicia on a sun-drenched Saturday afternoon.
“Hey, Kate!” Felicia exclaimed.
“Hey, girl, what’s up?”
“Marlon and I bumped into Charles on the A train yesterday. He begged me to tell you to call him. I told him that I was busy begging you to call me, too. I mean … we don’t hang out anymore. I miss you.”
I chuckled at the animation in her voice. “Well, my homework is done, chores are straight. Are you free today?”
“Totally free, but … Marlon is with me.… Is that okay?”
“Um … well, I—”
Before I could cop a plea, Felicia thought to say, “Why not call Charles right now? I could get him on the three-way. Maybe he can come!”
“A’ight,” I said, trying to hide the excitement in my voice. I missed my homeboy, too. I hoped Mr. Fly Boy was available.
Charles answered on the first ring. Surprisingly, he was ready to drop everything and come hang with us. Felicia assured him that she’d find something for us to do on the quick tip; Google was her best friend—after me.
Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Felicia called Charles and me back via three-way, her voice mad amped like a speaker. “OMG! Jazmine Sullivan is performing at Central Park. We have to go, you guys!”
“That’s what’s up,” I exclaimed. “What time do we have to be there? A sister is way up in the Bronx.”
“Show starts at three,” said Felicia. “But we should be there by at least two o’clock so we can get a good spot.”
Felicia laid out the logistics like a perfect event planner. And thanks to her, we all managed to meet up at Central Park, on time, with no problems.
The day was hot and beautiful. And so was Charles. First, I was surprised to see he had cut off all his hair. His short waves were back, smooth and precise. He wore a blue and white jersey top with baggy khakis hanging off his behind just right, and he rocked super clean white K-Swiss sneakers. His dark-brown chocolate skin glistened in the sunshine.
Wow, he looked mad good, felt mad good, smelled mad good when I hugged him hello. No words were exchanged. We just stared at each other like mad. Our chemistry was crazy intense.
To deflect my feelings, I jokingly asked, “Why’d you cut off your lovely locks?”
Charles smirked. “Shoot, if I waited for you to braid my hair, I would’ve gone bald from old age!”
Suddenly feeling awful and completely embarrassed, I looked down at the ground and said, “I’m really sorry for that. My bad.”
Charles touched my shoulder. “Why are you tripping, Kate? You know I’m only joking.”
Flashbacks of Percy.
After all the guilt games Percy had played on me, it was hard to take a joke. But instead of explaining myself, I quickly pulled myself together, and turned my attention to my other homies. Felicia and Marlon were keeping it simple in plain white tees and baggy shorts. “Good to see y’all,” I exclaimed, giving them both big hugs.
We hopped on the long, snaking line that slithered forward at a slow pace. “Man, when they gonna let a brother in?” asked Charles.
As we waited and waited, the sunbeams were starting to get to me. I looked up at the sky and said, “I really don’t need to be in this sun … black as I am.” Then I laughed at my own joke—by myself. No one else found my comment funny.
Charles cocked his head to the side and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about … the blacker the Kate, the sweeter to me.”
I playfully hit Charles and said, “You so silly.”
But really? He was so sweet, trying to uplift me, upgrade me.
Evidently, Percy was not completely out of my system. My black eye was gone, my ribs were healed, but it would take much more time for me to fully recover from Percy’s mental abuse.
Finally, the line started moving into the arena. In single file, my group trooped into a row of seats five levels high. Not bad. Kinda cool. We had a clear view of the stage. When Charles plopped down next to me, our legs touched. Electricity shot through my body like lightning. I wondered if he felt it, too.
“This is so exciting,” said Felicia, sitting on the other side of me.
“I know, right!” I replied.
We had to sit through a few cool acts before Jazmine finally busted onto the stage, reppin’ hard in her fabulous royal-blue outfit, glossy hair flowing in the wind. She got the crowd hype, and then started hitting them jazzy notes, rocking us from side to side. When she sung my favorite song, “I Need You Bad,” Charles bent down to my ear and sung with her. “If I had you back in my land, I would prove that I could be a better man.”
“Those are not the words!” I said, laughing.
“Those are my words I’m singing to you,” Charles replied.
I smiled at him and shook my head in awe. He was so dang irresistible.
Charles peered over at Felicia and Marlon who were now leaning up against each other, holding hands. So Charles reached for my hand. But I pulled it away. Our intensity … it was too much for me to handle right now. I wanted Charles as bad as I needed the air I breathed, and I could feel deep in my heart that he wanted me, too; but still, I needed time. I’m not on that: on to the next one, hopping from boy to boy.
I needed to be alone for a while.
So when Felicia tried to sell me Charles as we stood on a long bathroom line after the concert was over, I had to tell her, “Fall back, Ms. Matchmaker!”
“But Charles is so in love with you!” she insisted.
“Well, if he is, then he’s not going anywhere,” I replied.
“Seems like he’s really changing for the better, too,” Felicia added. “I don’t see him around the way with every girl in the world anymore.”
“Time will tell,” I said. “So give a sister some time, will ya?” I playfully tapped Felicia’s arm.
“Okay, but don’t wait too long. I’m just saying, somebody will snatch that fine boy up quick!”
I suddenly thought about Tisha and Greg, their love story twenty years in the making. “Nah, Felicia, as corny as it sounds … if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
“Okay, whatever you say,” she replied with a shrug.
We joined Marlon and Charles, who were leaning up against the front gate, talking like old friends.
“So what’s next?” asked Marlon, staring at Felicia with his usual lovey-dovey look.
No one had any suggestions, so I piped in. “Suddenly, I’m in the mood for hot chocolate.” Maybe because Charles was so dang hot and chocolate.
“Odd choice, but I’m down,” replie
d Charles with a chuckle. “So let’s go get you some hot chocolate.”
“I could use a Mocha Frappe,” said Marlon, grabbing Felicia by the hand.
“Me, too,” said Felicia. They walked way ahead of us down a rocky pathway. Charles slowed down to a stroll. Then he tried to hold my hand again. I let him this time.
Out of the blue, he looked over at me and said, “I just want you to know, I love being around you, Kate.”
“I love being around you, too,” I said, “but you already know what I’ve just been through. So please…”
My voice trailed off. I didn’t want to start crying out of nowhere.
“Listen, Kate, I understand all of that. But please don’t let Percy cheat you out of a relationship with me. We’d be so good together.”
I slowly looked up at Charles. I didn’t want to bring up the way he had hurt me in the past, but then again, I had to keep it real with myself and real with him, too. “Well, you weren’t exactly faithful to me the first time around. Remember? Because it seems like you keep forgetting.”
Charles paused and then spoke. “Okay … I’m not going to lie, most people don’t change. But a few people do, and I’m one of the few. I don’t run loose anymore, collecting girls’ numbers for no reason—” He broke off his litany, whipped out his cell phone, and showed me his address book. A bunch of male names popped up as he scrolled through the list.
“See?” he said, staring at me, his eyes so serious. “Females get deleted quick these days. I don’t have time for their games anymore. It’s getting real old.”
“Aw, that’s probably just your business phone,” I joked, keeping my defenses up.
Charles looked at me for a long minute. Then he put two fingers in his mouth and whistled to get Felicia and Marlon’s attention. “Hey y’all, go ahead of us,” he shouted. “We’ll link back up at the entrance of the park.”
“Not a problem,” Felicia called back, grinning from ear to ear, clearly thinking something juicy was about to go down. Well, she was thinking dead wrong. No matter what Charles said to me, I was not about to rush into anything with him. I would stay in touch with him, watch his behavior over time, and then I’d make an informed decision based on what I saw. In other words, I would be walking into this relationship with my eyes wide open. No more bumping my head; it hurts too much.
We were standing under a tall oak tree when Charles gave my hand a gentle squeeze, and said, “Well, I hope you give me a chance someday.”
A half smile touched my lips. I liked the sound of someday.
“So does that smile mean I have a chance?” asked Charles, flashing his boyish grin.
“A very good chance,” I said, grinning back.
Charles, emboldened by my words, cupped my face in his warm hands, and said, “So how can I make our chances great?”
“By you being you, and letting me be me.”
“Oh, I can definitely do that,” said Charles.
I pursed my lips into a playful air kiss. Charles pretended to catch it. Then I removed his hands from my face and said, “Now that we’re straight on the subject, let’s go get our hot chocolate on!”
“No doubt.” Charles smiled, grabbed my hand, and held it gently as we walked through the park. I snuck a glance at him and imagined his face as it would be in ten years, twenty years, thirty years.… I couldn’t wait to grow with him, flow with him. Deep down in my heart, I knew that Charles was The One for me. The way he looked at me with so much love in his eyes could not be mistaken for anything but a strong and true connection between us. Our someday would most definitely come soon, but for now I had to focus on me.
Praise for Dream Jordan
“Hot Girl is a must-read.… Kate is a young girl struggling to stay positive in the midst of the notorious foster care system. Her wit and perception as she narrates this tale will make readers laugh, cry, and cheer her on. This is a no-holds-barred, tell-it-like-it-is tale that every young person can learn from. Dream Jordan has burst on the scene in a big way!”
—Tracy Brown, Essence bestselling author of White Lines
“Readers will fall in love with Jordan’s triumphant heroine as she navigates the foster care system with wisdom, wit, endurance, and hope.… A refreshing and touching read.”
—Kalisha Buckhanon, Alex Award–winning author of Upstate and Conception
“Teen readers will relate to the smart, strong-willed protagonist, Kate.… Jordan’s thoughtfully rendered characterizations and explanations for Kate’s behavior are refreshingly authentic. This novel has the makings of a YA classic, and every YA collection should have a copy. Readers will hope for a sequel.”
—Vanessa J. Irvin Morris, Drexel University, for Library Journal
“Dream Jordan’s Hot Girl is a fantastic first novel … the content reflects the struggles and choices facing a young girl wanting to belong with her peers and also within a family. My students have showered accolades on Hot Girl.”
—Amy Cheney for School Library Journal
“Characterizations are strong, and voices realistic.… Jordan sends a message about doing the right thing.… The outcome of Kate’s story is positive, and those looking for soft street-lit titles will find the book appealing.”
—Emily Anne Valente, New York Public Library, for School Library Journal
“Librarians will be pleased with an urban fiction offering that does not drag its characters through melodramatic depravity but instead shows teens how it is possible to consciously choose the direction of one’s life.”
—Diane Colson, VOYA
“With authentic dialogue and honest situations, [Hot Girl] will resonate with teens … Many readers will unconsciously absorb some of Kate’s grit, determination, and hope by the end of this realistic novel.”
—Frances Bradburn, Booklist Online
About the Author
Dream Jordan is a native of Brooklyn, New York. She graduated magna cum laude from New York University with a bachelor of arts in creative writing. In her spare time, she visits schools to give talks promoting self-awareness and the value of education. She is the author of Hot Girl and Bad Boy. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Hot Girl
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Bad Boy
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Praise for Dream Jordan
About the Author
Copyright
These are works of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in these novels are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
LOVE ME OR MISS ME: HOT GIRL. Copyright © 2008 by Dream Jordan. BAD BOY. Copyright © 2012 by Dream Jordan. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.wednesdaybooks.com
www.stmartins.com
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-30821-4 (trade paperback)
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First Edition: January 2019
eISBN: 9781250219565