I’m still clutching Charlie’s arm when we say our goodbyes to Kerry and Christian. My chest aches from all the conflicting emotions. I do want to move on. I’ll be wary around that man for a long time, but maybe one day I won’t?
I don’t know if I can forgive that night, but maybe I can accept that there is true change in him, and take it from there?
One week turns into two. I force myself to open my laptop and try to reconnect with my old customers. Luciano hasn’t cut my access to the bank account, but I can’t keep using his money in the long run. Every morning I pack a bag and head to a nearby coffee shop where I spend a few hours working on starting up my business again.
It’s Tuesday. It’s been two weeks and two days since I left him. Right outside the front door to the apartment complex stands a black car with tinted windows. My heart shoots to my throat and everything around me disappears. I’m transfixed by the vision. It’s him. I know it with a certainty that isn’t rational.
The back door opens and out steps Luciano in all his breathtaking glory. He’s wearing a dark gray coat over a black impeccable suit. He oozes power, wealth, strength, and a raw sensuality that makes me fight not to double over with need. My whole body screams for him to put his arms around me and never let me go again.
I can’t get a word out. I clutch my bag, but I can’t feel my limbs.
“I’m lost,” he says.
My heart skips a beat, then it begins a mad tap dance behind my breastbone.
“I’ve missed you.” I give out a short, weird sounding laugh and put my hand to my mouth. “I can’t feel my lips.”
Raising his eyebrows, he extends a hand toward me. “Come.”
“Where to?”
“Just go for a ride with me.”
“Are you kidnapping me again?”
He huffs, then shakes his head. “Just a ride.”
“I’m not right in the head,” I say as I take his hand and let him guide me into the darkness of the back of the car.
“Were you ever?” Luciano sits down next to me and closes the door as he knocks on the divider between us and the driver.
The car starts moving and I buckle up, excitement and trepidation shooting out of my ears. We drive fast, weaving through the traffic. I wait for him to speak, glancing sideways again and again, taking in his gut-clenchingly beautiful features, drinking him in. He sits with his gloved hands resting loosely, one over the other on his lap, occasionally he meets my gaze, making my heart leap every time. There’s darkness there, heat, rage and despair. I know it because it mirrors what I’ve seen in my own eyes every day for the last sixteen days.
Finally we come to a stop by a cliff edge that overlooks the bay and the Golden Gate bridge. Far below cars rush along the highway, people living their lives. My own life is either about to end, or kick start again.
The driver jumps out and opens the door. Luciano takes my hand and pulls me with him. He nods to the other man who hops back into the car and takes off. It’s windy and the waves crash against the shore far below us.
“Are you planning on pushing me? Do I know too much?”
He gives out a short laugh. “You definitely know too much.”
I swallow hard and widen my eyes, suddenly unsure of his intentions. I do know too much. I’m not with him anymore. I left. Maybe he does see me as a liability?
“Don’t look so afraid.”
“I don—”
He gives me a deadpan look and I snap my mouth closed.
“Are you afraid of me?”
My heart speaks the truth and I force it past my lips. “Yes and no. Why am I here?”
“Did you really want to leave?” He frowns as he steps closer, shielding me from the wind.
I pull my coat tighter around me, hugging myself, trying to hold myself together, then I shake my head. “No,” I whisper.
“Chloe,” he says as he reaches out and puts a strand of hair behind my ear. “I need you by my side. I don’t know how to show you how I feel. I don’t have the words and I’ve never—I’ve never wanted this before. I want to shower you in luxury. You won’t have to work another day in your life. I don’t want your hands calloused, I want them soft and on me. I don’t want your mind troubled. I want your smile, your passion, your compassion.”
I inhale to say that living means worried frowns, that nothing works the way he portrays it, but he puts a finger to my lips.
“I want you naked, bent over the edge of my bed as I fuck you hard night after night. I want you to be my queen when the sun is up and my whore at night. I’ll rip apart any man who even looks at you the wrong way. You’re mine. Come back. Stay with me. I tried to wait you out, thinking you’d come back, but you’re too fucking stubborn and knowing you, I’d have to wait forever. Life is short. People die. We have something and I know you feel it too.”
I lick my lips and inhale shakily. I want to scream yes, but there is shit to sort out. If it doesn’t happen now, we’ll never be equals, there’ll never be an equilibrium.
“Luciano, you tore my world to pieces. You kidnapped me, forced yourself on me, treated me like I was dirt. You’ve beaten me, and worst of all: you’ve lied. How the fuck do you expect me to want to be with you?”
He freezes up, his face falling. “Is that a no, then?”
“Did it truly never occur to you to mention that Kerry had returned?”
“It truly didn’t. Christian came back, but I didn’t see any reason telling you that. You’re not overly fond of the man, I’ve just made sure you don’t stumble across him. And with Kerry… No, I didn’t think of the connection.”
“What else aren’t you telling me?”
He throws out his hands. “Ask me. I have no idea what else you want me to say. Ask and I’ll answer.”
I clench my hands into fists, then I slap him. I’m not really that mad. I’m not mad at all. I just felt like it was long overdue. Also, I really need to touch him. His hand shoots up and grabs my wrist before I have time to pull away. My heart darts to my throat as I wait for retaliation. Luciano holds my hand, my palm still on his cheek.
“I probably deserved that.”
“You did.” I cup his other cheek, pulling him to me. “Come here you motherfucking capo piece of shit.”
He flinches and narrows his eyes.
I pull him closer, my forehead to his. “I have a lot of pent up rage,” I mutter.
His lips touch mine, his breath hot and ragged. “Really now? Well, let me fuck that right out of you.”
“Here?” It’s getting hard to breathe as the air between us thickens.
“Yes, here.”
In the next moment, he has kicked my legs out from under me and has me pinned to the ground. I rip up the hem of his shirt and find soft, warm skin. My hands find their way up along his chest, my fingers threading through the rich carpet of hair that I know is black with strands of silver. Luci groans, tears off his gloves and pushes a hand between my thighs, up under my skirt. He’s not gentle about it. He wants me with a desperation that steals my breath away. Sitting up, he pushes my skirt to my hips and pulls down my thong to my ankles.
“Spread your legs for me.”
I swallow hard, holding his gaze as I pull up my knees and then let them fall apart. Sudden apprehension makes me glance around us. We’re outside for fuck’s sake.
A low, seductive murmur, rumbles through his chest as he lowers his gaze, caressing down my chest, belly and then landing on my pussy. The heat in his eyes makes a tingle spread from between my legs, to my stomach, to my breasts, peaking my nipples.
“Our driver is blocking off the road. No one’s getting here. We’re alone.”
A rush of need runs through me at his possessiveness. “You planned this,” I gasp. “You bastard.”
Luciano smirks. “I already told you, you need better insults.”
“Asshat.”
He pulls open his belt and unzips his pants, pulling out his already thick cock. Stroking it in
his large hand, he still far from engulfs it. I’m transfixed by his display of strength and power.
“Do you want me?”
My heart leaps to my throat. “Yes,” I whisper.
He falls over me, putting the head of his cock to my entrance, teasing it up and down. “I didn’t hear you.”
I arch and try to make him slide inside, achingly empty. “Fuck me, Luci,” I groan.
“Here? Now?”
“Yes! Oh my God! Stop teasing me.” My pussy quivers in anticipation, needing him to fill me and stretch me. I need that discomfort, the rush of adrenaline and endorphins.
“You’re a bad girl, Chloe.” With one push, he thrusts his cock all the way in, making me squeal and clutch his shoulders.
“You’re so fucking big,” I whimper.
“I know.” He smiles wickedly, but doesn’t move, lets me adjust.
My breathing calms a little and I squirm beneath him, desperate for more. When he finally does move in me, I throw my head back in raw pleasure. It’s as if every nerve ending has traveled to between my thighs, as if every drop of my blood pools there. Luciano pumps in me furiously, clutching my hips, slamming me to him over and over.
“Fucking hell, Chloe. Don’t ever disappear on me again. I’ll always find you.” Increasing his pace, both of us panting louder, making incoherent sounds, he suddenly tenses up and jerks, falling on top of me with a shudder. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles when his gasps slow into more normal breathing. “I didn’t mean to be so desperate.” I dig my fingers into his shoulders, arching into him. I need more. I can’t stop here.
Still lodged in me, he grabs his phone and taps on the screen, then he pulls out, zips up and pulls down my skirt. Slipping my thong off my ankles, he drops them next to us, leaving them on the ground. “You won’t be needing these for a while.”
Oh my God, thank you!
There’s a murmur from an engine and Luciano pulls me to my feet, putting his arm around me as we walk. I wobble and he chuckles. “Weakling.”
I stick my tongue out at him and he quickly leans in, catching it in his mouth, then deepening the kiss, grabbing my nape in his large hands, pressing me closer. It’s a kiss that makes my toes curl, that shoots distress to my desperate pussy. The car rolls up in front of us. Come dribbles down the inside of my thighs, but by God, I don’t care. It’s his. It means he’s marked me. Pulling me into the car, Luciano slams the door closed and we move through the landscape, the view probably breathtaking, but I only have eyes for him.
“I want to sit on you,” I say, my voice shaky.
“You took the words out of my mouth. I’ll grant you your wish.”
I grin and open his pants with jerky, desperate moves, taking out his cock that grows harder as I stroke it. Luciano leans his head back and groans, the veins on his neck swelling. Pulling up my skirt to my waist, I then straddle him and line up the smooth head to my tingling flesh before I sink down on him, gasping out loud.
“Oh, that’s good,” he growls. “Move on me. Show me how much you want me.”
I rise and then slam down on him, again and again, taking him deeper, going faster. My legs shake with exhaustion but I want this so bad. He grabs my ass cheeks and squeezes so hard that I whimper, then he slides a finger to my much tighter hole and pushes inside. He doesn’t ask, he just takes what he wants. While I claim his cock, he claims my ass, stabbing deeper, harder, in rhythm with me. His other hand moves to my front, pushing up my blouse and my bra, grabbing my breast in an unforgiving grip, squeezing it past the limit of pain. The pinching ache shoots to my pussy, making it spasm around him. I clutch his shoulders tighter, bruising his skin as I keep moving on his cock. He rolls my nipple between his fingers, pinching it brutally tight. I whimper and squirm. The narrow space between us crackles with lust, excitement, desperation.
“Put your hand on your clit. I want to watch you come.”
“Yes, sir,” I breathe and slide a hand to my swollen clit that’s been aching for a touch for a long while. The car rocks, we move in tandem, his finger in my ass has become two and he pushes deep and fast. I slam down on his cock, my moves increasingly jerky as I rub my clit. I don’t have much left and I can’t control my body any longer.
“Show me,” he growls. “Look me in the eyes the whole time. Don’t dare close them. I want to see you. Then I’m gonna fuck your mouth, your cunt again, spread eagle you on my bed, and claim your ass until you plead for mercy. I’ll put a blindfold over those beautiful eyes, tie you to the cross and scorch your back. I’ll make every scar flare to life. I promise you, you will never get bored, not with me, not with life. You’re the most brilliant fucking woman I’ve ever met, you’re my perfect match, and you’re gonna come on me now.”
The tingling increases, spreads, I think I scream. I think I hold my eyes open for him, but I can’t see a thing. My whole world explodes in deep, long spasms that make me float and fall. He puts his arms around me and holds me tight to his chest as I shake uncontrollably.
When I’m done, I hang limp, like a rag, unable to move. Everything aches. The car comes to a stop. I’m dazed, but I know we’re home. He moves. Pulls down my skirt. The door opens and he carries me into the house. I wrap my legs around his waist and hold my arms tight around his strong neck. I don’t know if anyone sees us, or what state I’m in. I don’t care.
The smells are familiar, the light from the sun that splays over the dark brown hardwood floors, the large rooms.
Luciano makes good on his promise. We don’t come up for air until the evening, back in his bed after a stint in the playroom. There isn’t one part of my body that doesn’t ache. This time around there really isn’t one single square inch that isn’t in beautiful agony. He holds me tight, his warmth, his breaths, and his caresses lulling me into a trance. I cry. Good tears. He kisses them away. I wrap my legs around his, finally coming back to myself.
“Thank you.”
“I missed you,” he answers.
“I noticed.”
He chuckles and pulls me closer, but I put a hand to his chest and push him away, holding him at an arm’s distance. “Teach me how to fight back, Luci. Teach me how to use a gun. I don’t ever want to feel defenseless again.”
He flinches and looks me over. “I thought you hated firearms.”
“I do. But being around you, I’m figuring I need to make peace with them.”
“You want to be my gangster wife?”
My head suddenly spins. “Wife?”
“What the fuck, Chloe, did you think we’d live in sin? I was brought up a Catholic boy.”
“Luciano Salvatore, you are sin incarnated.”
“That I am, future Mrs. Chloe Salvatore. That I am. And so are you. Let me show the world that you are my woman.”
He rises and pulls me to my wobbly feet, then he goes down on one knee and takes my hand. “I hadn’t prepared this, but there is no time like the present. We’ll go find you a giant diamond ring tomorrow. Chloe Becker, will you do me the greatest honor and be my wife?”
My chest aches, a good ache. I finally found that connection I have looked for my whole life. I found that special someone who tore down my walls, who pushed and prodded until he discovered the real me, who fills my life with excitement and who never lets me get bored. He doesn’t only accept Christine and my sordid past, he loves every part of it, still fascinated, still asking about it.
“Yes! I’ll be your queen and your whore.”
A beautiful smile spreads across his face. He squeezes my hand tighter. “I’ll always honor you and protect you.”
“Never let me go again.”
“I won’t.”
I sink to my knees before him and cup his cheeks, leaning my forehead against his. “I love you,” I whisper. “I’m here, I’m staying, and I love you.”
Epilogue
Angela Russo
The Russos are a weird ass family.
I can never tell any of my friends about my brothers Christian,
Nathan, Matteo, and Luca, about my mother Bianca, or my uncle Luciano Salvatore. I can’t tell them about the ruthless enforcers Eric Reed, Ivan Sokolov, and all the others. How could I explain that they’re all part of a massive crime syndicate? How could I tell them about the illegal clubs across the country, prostitutes, money laundering, protection business, murder and mayhem? Uncle Luci would probably kill anyone I told anyway, so better to just keep my mouth shut.
I stay far away and I don’t ever go to San Francisco. Ever.
Except today I do.
Christian Russo is getting married. He’s my oldest brother, my protector, my idol, and the closest thing I have to a father. My real father was shot to death the same minute I drew my first breath. Christian is marrying his beautiful Kerry Jackson. She has changed his life. The tiny, timid woman has changed the lives of so many people.
I snuck into church, huddled in the crowd and cower next to Sydney Lewis-Russo. I’m intimidated as all hell by being here and extremely grateful for her presence. She and Nathan are the only ones I hang with regularly. They live in New York like I do. She tried juggling a hotel business in New Orleans, but it didn’t work out and she left it in the hands of her friend, remaining as a passive partner. Nathan traveled too much and then they started popping out tiny little Russos. Well, the one so far, Ava, but I swear there’s a new bun in that oven.
The vast church is filled with people. Some I know, and plenty I don’t know. Most of them are relatives from Sicily. I think Uncle chartered a Boeing and fucking emptied the island because they all seem to be here. I know a little Italian and catch the odd sentence here and there but mostly it’s an excited cacophony of voices that reaches the arched ceiling high above us.
I lean toward Sydney. “Is all this a little weird to you too?”
She laughs and looks around us. “It’s the Russos. Extravagant, dominant, larger than life. And owning the world. What did you expect?”
I roll my eyes and make a non-committal sound. “So how are you liking the Big Apple? Settling in?”
Capo Page 29
