I want to ask her what she means by that. I want to ask her why she spat Ethan’s name with disgust. Alarm bells start going off in my head.
He didn’t have anything to do with the fire. As long as I keep reminding myself of that, then all these small-town rumors about him won’t hold any weight. I close my mouth again and turn around, walking down the street without looking back.
We walk in silence for a full block before my mother speaks.
“Who was that?”
“Mara’s mom,” I answer, not looking at my mother. I take a deep breath and try to let the crisp air of the mountains clean me after that interaction.
“How did she know about your promotion? And she seemed to know who I was before I even said it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. Ethan doesn’t like her.”
“What did she mean about the fire?”
I take a deep breath. “There’s a rumor that Ethan and his brothers started a fire here last year.” My mother grunts, and I look over to see her frowning.
“The fire last year? The fire that’s the reason why you’re here?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “That fire.”
“The Ethan that I met yesterday? But he was so sweet!”
“I don’t believe the talk!” I add. I glance at Audrey, who is over by a tree, watching a squirrel jump from branch to branch. In a low voice, I keep going. “Ethan told me they were just rumors, and I believe him.”
My mother glances back toward Mrs. McCoy and then at me. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head.
“I don’t like that woman,” she finally says.
I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Me neither, Mom,” I say. “Me neither.”
26
Ethan
For the next week, it seems like everywhere I go, Margaret McCoy is there. I see her at the store, and at Harold’s Pub. I run into her when I visit Dominic, clutching his baby and shooting daggers with her eyes. I even see her on a trail by the river when I go out walking one evening.
I just can’t get away from her.
Every time I see her, my jaw clenches and I look away. She’ll stare at me with that gloating look of hers, and we won’t say a word to each other.
She doesn’t have to speak, because her face says a thousand words.
I know what you did, it says. And now I can hurt you with it.
She knows that I care about Zoe. Everyone knows. It’s been obvious since the first day she walked into the office. Even if we’d wanted to hide our relationship, we wouldn’t have been able to.
This morning, on my way to work, Margaret McCoy is at convenience store when I go in to grab a coffee before work.
“Ethan Clarke,” she says, glancing at me as I walk up to the cash register. “Fancy seeing you here.”
I look at her and then up at the cashier. “Thanks, Ted,” I tell him with a nod. He grunts, and glances at Margaret.
She’s still staring at me. I turn toward her, and suddenly the frustration of the past week is boiling over. I’m sick of seeing her face, jeering at me every time she sees me. I’m sick of feeling like I’m walking on eggshells. I’m sick of being scared of what she’ll say to Zoe… or what she’ll do.
So in this moment, I’m mad. I stand up straight and stare at Mrs. McCoy, almost for the first time since she’s arrived.
“What do you want, Margaret?” I spit. Her thin lips curl into a grin. For the first time, I notice the lines around her eyes and mouth, and the frizzy, greying hair on her head. Her eyes are sharp, but there’s an edge to her movements that I’ve never noticed before.
Still grinning, she takes a step toward me and raises her eyebrows. She opens her mouth, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I want to ruin your life, Ethan,” she snarls. “Just like you and your brothers ruined mine.”
I snort. “You did that to yourself, Margaret. That had nothing to do with me.”
“You ruined my marriage,” she spits.
“You did that yourself, as well,” I say, a little louder. My heart is thumping. “You’re the one who was unfaithful to your husband. I had nothing to do with that. Do you know that he thanked my brothers and me? After you left and he recovered from the shock of finding out his wife had been cheating on him for years with my own father, he thanked me. What does that tell you?”
Her mouth falls open in shock but she recovers quickly. “Your father didn’t seem to mind that I was cheating on my husband. But then again, he was reaping the rewards, wasn’t he? How does it feel to know your father was an adulterer?”
“Fuck you, Margaret. Go back to the hole that you crawled out of and get out of my life.”
I turn to leave and I hear her cackling behind me. “I’m only getting started, Ethan! We’ll see how much that little girlfriend of yours loves you when she finds out who you really are.”
I glance at Ted, behind the counter, who listened to our whole exchange. He raises an eyebrow and then turns away. I grab my coffee off the counter and storm out the door, the bells above the entrance jingling merrily as I walk out, like they’re mocking me.
My truck is parked nearby, and I slam the door as I get in. I’m panting as if I’ve just sprinted a hundred-yard dash. My heart is racing and my entire head feels like it’s burning up. I put my coffee down in the cup holder and put my hands on the steering wheel, squeezing it until my knuckles turn white. I lay my head down on the steering wheel and take a few long, wheezing breaths to try to calm down.
Margaret McCoy is back, and she’s out for blood. She can’t get to Dominic, because he’s with Mara. They have a new daughter, and Margaret seems to care for the baby. At least, it looks that way.
She can’t go after Bill, because, well, he’s the Sheriff. How do you go up against him?
But that leaves me. I’m the easiest target for her, and she knows it. I burned down the hotel, along with Dominic and Bill, and that was the beginning of the end for her. It was the end of her business success, the end of her marriage, the end of her family.
And now, she wants to end it all for me, too.
I drag the air in and out of my lungs to try to calm down. My thoughts fly to Zoe, and for the thousandth time I regret telling her I didn’t have anything to do with the fire. My lie hangs over my head like a black cloud, and I can’t seem to bridge the distance between us because of it.
With another deep breath, I try to calm down. Margaret has no proof. Zoe believed me when I said that I had nothing to do with it, so why would one old woman change that? The whole town has turned its back on Mrs. McCoy, so I should be safe.
Should being the operative word.
I jump when someone knocks on my window. Bill Whittaker, the Sheriff, is standing outside my window. I roll it down and nod to him.
“Hey, Bill.”
“Ethan,” he says, glancing behind me at the convenience store. “Everything okay? You stormed out of there pretty fast.”
“Margaret McCoy,” I say as way of explanation.
Bill grunts, hooking his thumbs into his belt loops. His eyes darken and he glances at the building again, narrowing his eyes.
“Any idea why she came back?”
He swings his eyes back to me and I lean back in my seat, dropping my hands to my thighs. I take a deep breath and exhale loudly, shaking my head and closing my eyes.
“Yeah,” I finally answer. “I do.”
Bill waits a moment and then leans against my door. “Care to share?”
I open my eyes again and look at the man who committed arson with my brother and me. If he feels any remorse, he’s never shown it in the year that has passed since the fire. I stare into his eyes and finally say the one word that can explain Margaret McCoy’s presence in our sleepy little town:
“Revenge.”
27
Zoe
Ethan has been different lately, and I don’t know if it’s because Audrey and my mom are here, or if it’s because Margaret McCoy is in town. The
re’s a distance between us that wasn’t there before. He’s quieter than he was before, and sometimes he doesn’t quite meet my eye. I’m trying to give him time to adjust, but it’s starting to drive me nuts.
It’s early evening, and the sun is starting to set. Ethan, Audrey, and I are walking along the wooded path by the river. It’s quiet, and it would be peaceful if I couldn’t sense Ethan ruminating beside me.
“It’s getting colder in the evenings,” I remark placidly, taking a deep breath of crisp air. “Winter’s on its way.”
“Mm,” is the only response I get. We’re coming to a bend in the path, and I recognize the spot where Ethan and I made love in the forest the night little Hailey was born, almost two and a half months ago. I pause, glancing out through the break in the trees at the freezing cold water in front of us.
Ethan stares at the river but I can tell his mind is elsewhere. As I watch him, my heart squeezes and fear starts creeping into my heart.
What am I doing? I’m about to accept a promotion to move my entire family across the country. Am I doing it for the promotion? Am I doing it to show Audrey a better, quieter life?
Or… Am I doing it for him?
Maybe I’m just selfish, and not only that, I’ve been lying to myself. Maybe all I want is a bit of companionship. And now that I’ve had a taste of it, reality and all its complications are looming in front of me.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
Ethan inhales sharply and seems to come back to the present. He looks at me as if he’s seeing me for the first time, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. He leans over and kisses my forehead, sliding his arm across my back and holding me close.
I breathe in and smell wood smoke and pine trees in his chest. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around him and we hold each other without saying a word.
Finally, after a couple minutes, he pulls away and looks into my eyes. His lips curl into a tentative smile and he touches his forehead to mine.
“I’m happy I met you,” he says in a low voice.
My heart melts. Or maybe it expands and flips in my chest. I don’t know what my heart is doing but whatever it is, it feels good.
“Really?” My voice comes out just above a squeak.
“Really.”
It’s all the reassurance I need. He presses his lips to mine and kisses me. It might be the thousandth time we’ve kissed since we met, but it feels more intimate than ever before. He holds me close and runs his fingers through my hair until we stop kissing and I rest my head against his chest. His arms are wrapped around me and I can feel the heat of his body through his jacket.
It feels like there are so many things we should say to each other. I should ask him what he thinks of Audrey, and how he feels about having her in his life all of a sudden. I should ask him what he thinks of my mother, and how he feels about having her in his life all of a sudden. It’s a big change for all of us.
I should ask him about Mrs. McCoy and all the brooding he’s been doing since she got here.
But I don’t ask anything. I just lay my head against his chest and listen to the river and the wind in the trees, and the beating of his heart.
After a few minutes, I pull away and look over my shoulder.
“Where’s Audrey?” I ask.
Ethan tenses in my arm and looks around. We separate and head down the path. The blood drains from my face and my chest suddenly feels hollow.
“Audrey?” I call out into the forest. Somehow, the sky has turned darker and dusk has almost turned to night. I walk a little faster, and then start jogging as my calls become more and more frantic. Ethan calls her name as well, yelling it into the trees. He ducks down near the river and comes back up, shaking his head.
“How far could she have gone? If she gets lost...” The words hang between us and I call out for Audrey again.
There’s another bend in the path up ahead. My vision is blurred as my eyes start to fill with tears. “Audrey!” I call out. “Answer me!”
My voice is strained and the panic is gripping my throat. Where is she?
Then, I see her blue jacket appear from a tiny dirt path on the left. “Mom!” She says, beaming. “Look what I made!”
“Audrey!” I say in relief, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. I trap her arms by her sides and hold her tighter than I should, until she squirms and I let her go. She looks at me and frowns.
“Are you okay, Mom?”
Ethan comes up behind us and I hear him make a noise. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he spits. I tense, and Audrey inhales at his swear word, widening her eyes. I follow his eyes to the woman standing in the trees where Audrey just appeared.
“I’m out for a walk, Ethan,” Margaret McCoy says haughtily. “Is that allowed, or do I need the Clarke seal of approval for that?”
Ethan tenses, and I stand up and move Audrey behind me, putting myself between her and Mrs. McCoy. Margaret sighs.
“I came across Audrey on the path and I showed her how to make boats out of sticks to race down the river,” she says, almost as if she’s bored. She gestures to Audrey, who holds up her creation. “She was on her own out here.”
My stomach falls and my cheeks burn. She was on her own out here. Margaret looks at me accusingly as she says it. I should have been with her. Instead, I was wrapped in Ethan’s arms, with no thought at all for my daughter.
Margaret gives me a look of pure disgust and gestures to the path behind us. “May I?” she says.
Ethan steps aside and Margaret starts walking. She turns to Audrey and waves. “Hope you make a really fast stick-boat,” she says with a smile. “Remember the trick I taught you for tying the ends of it?”
Audrey smiles and holds up her boat. “I’ll make a really good one and show it to you next time.”
Margaret smiles, and for the first time I see a softness in her eyes. She nods. “That sounds good. You take care now, and don’t wander away from your mother anymore.”
If everyone in town hadn’t warned me about Margaret McCoy, I’d almost think she was a nice person right now.
But Ethan obviously doesn’t think so. He doesn’t relax until she’s out of sight, and then the dark cloud above his head reappears. The tender moment we shared before is forgotten, and the three of us head back toward town in silence. I hold Audrey’s hand, and she stares at her new creation the whole time.
When we get back to town, I send Audrey over to our car and I turn to Ethan.
“Why do you hate her so much?”
His eyebrows shoot up, and then his face darkens. He shakes his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
He chews his lip and finally sighs. “She stole my father’s business after he died, so my brothers and I were left with nothing. We found out later that they were having an affair. My dad and Margaret,” he explains. I try to hide the surprise from my face, but Ethan laughs grimly. “Yeah. That was my reaction as well. Dominic started seeing Mara, and she did everything she could to keep them apart.”
“Oh,” I say. I can’t think of a better response.
Ethan straightens up and puts his hands on my shoulders, running them down to hold both my hands. He looks me in the eyes. “She’s not a good person, Zoe,” he says. “She had everyone fooled for years. But at the first chance, she just threw everyone around her under the bus and took care of herself. Including her own daughter.”
A lump forms in my throat and I think of the look on Margaret’s face when she said goodbye to Audrey. Could she really have been cruel enough to her own daughter to keep Mara and Dominic apart?
“No good will come of her being here,” Ethan continues. He sighs again and I put my hands on either side of his face.
“Try not to worry so much,” I tell him with a smile. “I’m just glad you’re not freaking out about Audrey and my mom being here.”
Confusion passes over his face and he frowns. “What? Why would I be freaking out?”
I pull his head toward mine and kiss him tenderly. He wraps his arms around me and I feel at ease. I hear my car door open and Audrey’s voice behind me.
“Eeewww,” she yells. “Gross!”
Both Ethan and I laugh, and he winks at me. “See you tomorrow,” he whispers. With one last kiss on the tip of my nose, he turns toward his vehicle, and I turn toward mine.
28
Ethan
I’m on my own today for the first time in a long time. Zoe is visiting the school with Audrey, and they’re having a quiet dinner together. It’s finally Friday, and when I get home from work, I feel the restless itch to get out of my house. I take a quick shower and head over to Harold’s for a beer. When I walk into the bar, the din of voices and glasses and music assails me but it feels almost comforting.
Harold plops a beer in front of me as soon as I sit down. “On the house, Clarke. Looks like you need it.” He laughs, and I nod in thanks. I didn’t think I looked that bad, but I’ll take the beer anyway.
I’m halfway through drinking it when Bill Whittaker sits down beside me.
“Ethan,” he says with a nod.
“Sheriff,” I answer.
“Off-duty,” he retorts.
“You’re still the Sheriff though.”
“So I am,” he grins. Harold places his drink in front of him and Bill holds up his glass. “You know what today is?”
I shake my head, touching my glass to his.
“Today is eighteen months since we torched that fucking hotel to the ground.”
I glance around us. “Keep your voice down, Bill, come on,” I say in a low voice. Bill laughs, hand on stomach and head thrown back. He takes a long drink and claps me on the back.
“You just said it, Ethan. I’m the Sheriff!”
“You’re insane,” I grin. “I’m glad you’re on my side.”
The Clarke Brothers (Complete Series) Page 44
