by S M Mala
Standing there, unable to say something clever back, he breathed out deeply.
‘Have a nice evening,’ he said, hanging up, before mumbling under his breath. ‘Bloody bitch!’
Then he turned to see Sophie was frowning at something on her phone, before shaking her head solemnly.
‘Problem?’ he asked, walking back to the table and sitting down.
‘Harry’s going to be very late and I’m not to wait up.’ She shrugged before smiling. ‘He must be living in cuckoo land to think I can stay awake after the dream feed.’
It was inconceivable how Onya could be nasty about someone she barely knew.
‘Summer roll?’ she asked, holding the box for him to pick one out. ‘I could eat these until they come out of my ears, mainly because I believe they’re non-fattening.’
‘I think you look perfect the way you are.’
‘That’s sweet.’ Again he noticed her forced smile. ‘I am trying to lose weight but it’s hard and-.’
‘I mean it.’ Then he leant closer. ‘I took some amazing photos of you and Amelia when she was born. I’m going to put them in an album and give them to you. That day, you radiated such a glow of happiness.’
‘I didn’t think you’d taken any.’ Then her mouth dropped open. ‘I wasn’t naked was I?’
‘They’re tasteful,’ he replied, starting to laugh.
‘God, you’ve seen me naked! In all of what happened, I forgot.’ Sophie shook her head in dismay. ‘You better delete them.’
‘Of course I did,’ he lied, knowing he kept some hidden away. ‘And if you don’t mind, I’d like to use some of them professionally.’
‘Professionally?’
‘Sophie, they are good shots and it would be a waste not to show them,’ he laughed looking at her grimace. ‘I could even get you a large print to hang in your living room.’
‘Harry would love that,’ she giggled. ‘He’d never come home again! How big can you make it?’
Then she let out a loud laugh, before putting her hand over her mouth.
There was an overwhelming feeling of happiness in his heart as he watched Sophie.
Something he never wanted to stop doing.
She had a way of making sense out of everything around her.
And to him, it was simply wonderful.
‘This is Jonah.’
Sophie was stood with him weeks later at the newest house in Uxbridge, knowing the women were looking at him with deep suspicion. ‘He wants to do a photographic study of this place but knows he can’t use face shots.’
‘How’s he going to do that?’ Madison laughed, shaking her head. ‘He’s not one of those topless photographers, is he?’
‘It’s artistic,’ she replied, knowing that they were going to wind him up.
‘So is porn.’
‘I want to observe,’ he said, starting to blush as Sophie rocked a sleeping baby in her pushchair. ‘If you don’t want to be photographed, then I won’t.’
She watched him look around with a warm smile.
There was no judgement on what he would find.
Sophie knew she would never let anyone she worked with meet her husband, let alone the people who needed her help. Since the incident with Madison years back, the mix wouldn’t work.
Harry would not understand the idea that some people have horrible lives, and need to run away and hide from men.
And he was conceited enough to think that some of the ladies might fall for his charm.
He had no idea what they had gone through. And Sophie presumed he would think the woman was in the wrong, not the man.
‘I’ll be around,’ Sophie said, noticing Jonah examining the people. ‘Just tread carefully, okay?’
‘With respect,’ he added which made her smile.
And it happened again.
The warm sensation in her gut and heart when she looked into his eyes.
Taking Amelia out of her buggy, she walked around the house and chatted, but her eyes were consistently drawn to him.
He was talking to some of the women and children, making them laugh.
Everyone was warming to him.
‘Who is he again?’ Madison asked, smiling at her. ‘You seem to like him, and he’s not exactly ugly, is he?’
‘He’s a client of my husband’s. And I like most people. Weeks ago he asked me about taking photos and I thought it might be a good idea.’
‘And there’s nothing going on between you and him?’
‘Madison!’ she hissed. ‘What a thing to say! He was there when I gave birth and he’s going to be Milly’s God father.’ Sophie noticed the woman was laughing to herself. ‘Is there a problem?’
‘There might just be one,’ she replied, walking up the stairs. ‘Just from the expression on your face.’
Ignoring her, Sophie went to check on Fadwa. She was sitting in the corner of the room, observing her children watching television.
The bruising had gone but Sophie had heard Fadwa was finding it hard to settle. The woman felt shame when Sophie thought she should feel anger.
And her husband constantly phoned, saying it would never happen again, and pleading for her forgiveness.
Her parents had said it had put dishonour on the family.
Not the fact he beat Fadwa and she walked out with the kids, scared for their safety.
‘Hello,’ Sophie said, sitting down as Fadwa smiled at a sleeping Amelia. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘It’s fine,’ she meekly replied, her beautiful almond eyes filling with tears. ‘I’m so grateful for your help. I wanted to see you but you had the baby.’
‘You have my number so call whenever you want,’ Sophie quietly replied. ‘I may be on maternity leave but I know what it feels like to need a friend.’ She hesitated. ‘I’ve heard your family aren’t being supportive.’
‘They’re too busy worrying what other people will say.’
‘Yours wasn’t an arranged marriage. You did it out of love.’
‘Shows how stupid I was,’ she mumbled, touching her scarf. ‘I converted because of him. I thought that would make it all right. He thinks God can protect him from sleeping with other women, and I have to accept it.’ Angry tears splashed down her face. Sophie immediately felt empathy with her. ‘The kids miss their dad. It’s funny how children forget things so quickly.’
‘Do you want to go back?’ she asked fearfully. ‘I know so many women have heard the pleas and when they return, nothing changes.’
‘I don’t know what to do. I can’t support myself. He didn’t want me to work and I’ve got the kids. I hate the idea of living off welfare. I’m stuck.’
‘No-one is ever stuck.’
‘I can’t see a way forward.’
‘Yes you can,’ she replied, turning to look at the children. ‘They’re your way forward. That’s what counts. Give them a better life so as not to be afraid. Give yourself a better life too. Fadwa, you deserve it.’
All of a sudden, she could feel an overwhelming surge of emotion in her chest and looked down.
‘Sometimes,’ Sophie continued. ‘They don’t have to beat you to make you feel bad. They whittle away at your confidence and self-worth until you’re so unsure of who you are.’
Holding back the tears, she turned away and noticed a drop fell from her eye, landing on Amelia’s head. She quickly wiped it away.
‘There are all sorts of cruelty in relationships, Fadwa. It’s just trying to find a way to deal with it.’
Just then, she turned her head and noticed Jonah was standing by the door.
He took away his camera from his face and looked at her.
Sophie was having a hard time trying to hide her sadness, even from herself.
‘Aren’t you going to come?’
All dressed in a suit and ready to leave, Jonah noticed Onya was still in her jeans. ‘The christening is at three o’clock.’
‘I don’t want to go,’ sighed Onya, walking towards the window.
‘You’ll have a better time without me. Anyway, we’re flying out tomorrow afternoon so I want to buy some last minute things.’
He knew she was building up to it. When he told her weeks back that he was going to be God father and she was invited, he immediately knew she hated the idea.
It was a week before Christmas and they were due to fly out.
Jonah was still in two minds about whether he wanted to spend a fortnight with her. Admittedly, for the past few weeks, he had been totally tied up in work. Now standing in his living room, it looked like she was making a stand.
Ross walked in and wolf whistled at Jonah then pulled a face when he saw Onya.
‘Problem?’ his friend asked, immediately forcing a smile.
‘No,’ Jonah replied, quietly relieved she wasn’t going. ‘I’ll see you later.’
Grabbing his coat, he put it on as he walked out and was stumped on what he was feeling.
The holiday he had wanted, a focus when things weren’t going his way, was now the prelude to a busy year of work. Knowing he would rather spend it alone spoke volumes about how his heart felt about Onya, compared to the logical thinking in his mind.
And the real problem was his feelings about Sophie.
In a way, being away from her for a few weeks wasn’t such a bad thing.
Jonah was in turmoil because he knew how he felt, realising it couldn’t go anywhere. But the more time they spent together, the stronger it became and he was at a loss on what to do.
Harry had been playing up more than usual and Sophie was putting a good front, saying her husband was stressed.
That wasn’t the truth.
He had been screwing around and it was obvious Harry wanted Sophie to find out.
What Jonah couldn’t fathom was why she wasn’t admitting it.
The reason could be she was scared of being alone with her child, but Jonah knew he would step in and help.
And deep down he wanted them to split so he could bide his time and make a move. That’s if she felt the same way as him.
It was what he truly hoped.
Getting the train and travelling to the other side of London, it didn’t take long for him to get to the small church.
Six people were stood outside, including Madison and Kay with her husband, Pete.
Then he saw her, dressed in a cream coat, holding Amelia.
She smiled and he stood still, just grinning back.
‘Hello,’ he said, walking up to the group and seeing Kay looking flustered. ‘Where’s Harry?’
‘That’s a million dollar question,’ replied Kay, shaking her head. ‘He had something important to do and said he would be turning up later.’
‘And where’s Onya?’ asked Sophie, stroking her baby’s face.
‘Something cropped up,’ he replied and noticed she tried to hide her smile. ‘Do you want me to call Harry?’
‘Some things are best left alone,’ whispered Kay, before grabbing his arm. ‘Come and meet my husband Pete.’
But as he glanced at Sophie, who seemed happy enough that her husband wasn’t around, Jonah knew he wanted to be with her.
That was the bottom line.
‘What a wonderful day!’
Sophie sighed as they sat in a restaurant. ‘Even without Harry.’
Deep down she had been relieved he didn’t turn up.
She knew he wouldn’t because he had taken little or no interest in his child for weeks.
All he seemed to care about was going out and getting pissed.
And he hadn’t laid a finger on her.
There were no sexual advances or lingering kisses.
He would see her with Amelia and was somehow pissed off.
It was time for Sophie to make a decision. The problem was in less than a week it would be Christmas, and she realised everything would have to be put on hold until then.
Harry’s parents were threatening to turn up, which was lovely as it meant they would dine in a hotel for Christmas lunch. Plus they still hadn’t seen their grandchild but she presumed it was a James’s DNA thing, the ability not to be fussed over a baby.
Throughout the christening and afternoon, Sophie had blotted Harry from her mind.
That’s why she enjoyed it.
Now her handful of guests were leaving and she knew it was time to head off home.
Within fifteen minutes it was just Jonah, Amelia and her. She could see he was a little drunk and his cheeks had gone pink.
‘Are you feeling okay?’ she asked as he smiled and nodded, moving closer. ‘Do you want another drink?’ He shook his head from side to side in response. ‘Or anything else?’
It was spontaneous.
The kiss.
She tasted his lips and tongue in her mouth, making her dizzy with excitement and felt his hand touch her face.
He tasted sweet and soft, the opposite of what she was used to, and it made her head spin because she wanted more.
Sophie knew she shouldn’t be doing this but didn’t want to stop.
It felt natural and perfect.
Then she opened her eyes and looked into his.
There was some confusion from his expression which probably matched hers, as they pulled away.
‘I know what I’m supposed to say but I can’t,’ she whispered, watching him look intently at her. ‘Because I know how I feel about you. It’s not right but it’s not wrong.’
‘This is complicated,’ Jonah gulped. ‘We can’t go there, not now.’
‘I like you a lot.’
‘I like you too.’
And she kissed him, this time, more passionately than before, not caring who saw.
Every ounce of worry and dismay simply disappeared when she was attached to his lips; breathing in his kiss.
That’s when she realised how much she loved the man she couldn’t be with.
It was heart breaking that Harry never kissed her like this; his bitter mouth leaving a nasty aftertaste.
Jonah pulled away and kissed her face.
‘I think me going away is a good thing,’ he half smiled, taking a finger and gently running it down her throat. ‘We can’t do this.’
Sophie wasn’t listening to what he was saying. She loved the idea of being close to him. It was what she had yearned for months.
‘I should be heading off, Soph,’ he whispered. ‘Shall I walk you home?’
Shaking her head from side to side, she couldn’t speak.
All she wanted was to be with him.
To be with Jonah.
‘I can’t stop.’
He couldn’t.
As they slowly strode towards her home with a sleeping baby in the buggy, he kept finding places to stop and kiss her.
His head spun as did his tongue in her mouth, loving every moment of elation.
The kissing was intense and nothing like he’d experienced before. Her soft lips crushed against his.
Jonah gently caressed her breast under her coat and he felt her hands touch his back, riding up his shirt.
He couldn’t stop.
He didn’t want to.
Sophie’s lips were all that he had on his mind.
Then they looked at each other as if reading each other’s minds.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ she said, stroking his face and glancing at her sleeping baby. ‘But I do know one thing.’
‘What’s that?’
‘I like you so much.’
‘I like you too Soph, you know that. But you’ve got Harry and I’m with Onya. I don’t want this to be something in the heat of the moment. I know you’ve been under pressure and-.’
She put her finger on his lips.
‘I know how I feel. And it’s much deeper than I ever wanted to admit.’
It was a spasm of emotion in his heart, hearing she felt the same way as him.
But now was the time for caution.
‘Let me go away and think this through.’ Jonah had his sensible, but deliriously happy hea
d on. ‘I have to think about Onya and Harry in all of this.’
‘Take me with you,’ she said, smiling. ‘I’d love to get on a plane and fly away.’
‘If only it was that simple.’
They kissed again and this time, it was more passionate than before.
Jonah’s body ached for her and he desperately wanted to make love.
‘Go home. Don’t say anything and let me think hard about how we’re going to do this.’ Jonah kissed her again. ‘I think it’s best I don’t go to your house.’
‘I know.’ She let out a little sigh. ‘I told Harry, because I was mad with him, that I’d be home a little late. But baby needs her cot. I need to go to bed and dream of you.’
‘Soph,’ he said, starting to laugh. ‘That’s very sweet.’
‘I mean it.’ She grinned. ‘That’s what I’ve probably done since the first time we met. Silly. I thought it was my hormones but months down the line, I realise it’s not.’
He held her face in his hands and kissed her cheeks.
‘Be with me,’ she whispered and he closed his eyes. ‘That’s what I want.’
‘This is complicated.’
‘I’m not.’
‘He’s my agent and your husband.’
‘Jonah, I would never have an affair, never be unfaithful. I would leave him first and foremost.’ Sophie looked deadly serious. ‘I don’t want to frighten you, but at least you know how I feel. Maybe when you go away on holiday, you’ll digest it all in and consider being with me.’
He was speechless.
The words simply trickled from her lips and he knew this wasn’t an off the cuff decision.
Sophie had clearly thought it through.
‘I can pay my way. I’m very independent so I won’t rely on you to look after Milly. We’ll take it slowly. Just think about it for me. I’ll do anything. Be with me.’
‘Sophie,’ he whispered and grabbed her in his arms, kissing her and knowing he felt the same way.
Slowly pulling away, he looked down at her.
The whole package was too tempting to refuse and something he desperately wanted.
‘We’re home.’
Sophie whispered to her sleeping child as she gently opened the front door, not wanting to wake her.
