by S M Mala
‘Is that like your heart? Hardened to hurting and lying and cheating?’ Sophie bit her lip and glanced away. ‘I’m going to be a divorced single mother in a matter of weeks. You want nothing to do with your child and that’s fine. I sent you the plaster cast of her hand with a picture, hoping that even as a shit person to me, there might be an ounce of kindness with Milly. It broke my heart when you sent the package back to Dana. I think you’ll regret it in time, but we’ll see.’ She stood up and sat opposite him. ‘If you didn’t love me, why get married?’
‘You don’t think I love you?’
‘You slapped me with so much force. My head smacked against the side. I remember every single nasty word you uttered. And to top it all, you grabbed my head and smashed it against the door frame.’ She noticed he winced at her words. ‘If you loved me a little, you would never have said or done that.’
‘I was very drunk.’
‘You were fucking Onya. Does he know?’
‘He being Jonah?’ Harry asked and then she noticed the look he gave her. It was both challenging as it was wary. ‘The perfect man?’
‘You said so.’
‘He lied to you because he cares about me.’ It was when he said it Sophie noticed the smug look on his face. ‘On the other hand, he is thinking of using some pictures of you and the child for his book. Good shots, all things considered.’
‘Doesn’t he need my permission?’ she asked, hearing his stabbing words and not wanting him to see the tears she tried hard to hold back.
‘As you say, I’m Amelia’s father and I gave him my permission.’ Harry glared at her. ‘Jonah and Onya are very much together. Don’t do anything stupid to spoil it for them. What I did with Onya was a silly little mistake. No-one need know.’ He then smiled brightly. ‘And Jonah wouldn’t believe you.’
‘Why don’t I try telling him?’ she asked, leaning forward and replicating the same smile. ‘In that fleeting moment, I could describe her body and the pink birth mark on her flat backside, oh and she looks like a boy when naked.’ That’s when she noticed his eyes widen. ‘He might not believe me but at least I’d have told him. How do you think he’d like working with you then?’
‘Don’t Sophie. Things are good for him at the moment.’
‘Which means things are good for you. How much will it cost for me to keep my mouth shut?’ She knew by even saying it, she was sinking to another, lower level. But she was a single mother and Harry would stop money being paid if he had a choice. ‘And I can press charges any time. I have all amount of witnesses, and not forgetting Onya. If that comes out, how do you explain it to Jonah?’
Her heart was vibrating in her chest.
This was a game she didn’t want to play.
‘And you think that’s acceptable?’ he asked, semi-stunned. ‘Blackmail?’
‘I call it negotiating for my child. I never asked you for anything. Is this all about me or is it about Jonah?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, you don’t want to upset him but you’d happily try to break my jaw so I couldn’t tell you what I think. Do you want to know what I think?’
‘Not really,’ he replied, starting to look angry.
‘I think you like him a little bit more than you’re saying.’
‘What are you implying?’
‘Were you screwing his girlfriend to get closer to him? Was I the safe bet, because you know he has integrity, he would never have given me a second look?’
‘Why would he?’
The expression on his face said it all.
Harry had feelings for Jonah over and above friendship.
Sophie didn’t know what to say but decided not to push it.
She could still feel the pain on her face and head from the last time she tried to approach the subject.
‘I’ve always paid my way,’ Sophie whispered as Harry rolled his eyes. ‘But what do you care? Your bank account is booming. But your reputation is far more valuable than that.’ He gave her a sharp look. ‘You owe me, Harry.’
‘This isn’t like you.’
‘And neither is being called a wife beater something I’d have ever associated you with.’
‘Touché,’ he whispered.
‘Give me what is fair regarding Amelia, and we will sign an agreement that you stop paying for her when she reaches twenty-one. Then if she wants to go to university in between then, we’ll sort out the costs.’
‘And what do I get out of this?’
‘We’ll keep out of your life for good. Does that sound like a deal?’
‘I wish you hadn’t had her. All I wanted was to be with you, and you alone,’ Harry said, his eyes welling up. ‘She ruined everything.’
‘Amelia didn’t do that. You did.’
‘Signed copies?’
Jonah laughed when he was at the meeting with the public relations team. ‘You think people will come?’
‘I guarantee it,’ purred the woman in charge of press. Her name was Victoria, and she was all designer clothes and over accessorised jewellery. ‘We’ll have a signing during the exhibition and the publicity will be fab.’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘Come on, it’s a good thing.’
‘I better go,’ he sighed, seeing it was getting late and he needed to sort out a few things at the studio. ‘I’m busy right now and I do have other things to work on.’
‘When’s your next project?’
‘I’ve got a shoot at the end of September in Sardinia.’
It was quite quick, him remembering what happened last September.
Sophie and the birth of Amelia.
And the pain was still as fresh as ever when he realised he had not set eyes on them since December.
Months of not knowing where they were and Harry wasn’t letting on. Every day his agent was a painful reminder of what he had lost.
Being that Jonah had been away for six months of the year so far, he managed to bury himself in work and all the new opportunities abound.
But it didn’t feel good.
Onya was now pressurising him to move in together; buy a place and make a home.
He didn’t have the heart to tell her not to go with him when he went to New York. She seemed to be getting more of a buzz out of it. When he had been busy, Harry had sweetly stepped in to keep her company.
It seemed a reversal of what he had done with Sophie.
The threesome seemed like an odd friendship as Harry wasn’t on the pull and acted in a mellow manner, though his drinking levels were still high as ever.
In all that time, Harry never mentioned Sophie.
Half of him was angry at her for believing Harry but Jonah still hadn’t rocked the boat and challenged his agent over it.
The world was his oyster so everyone kept telling him.
It was just one thing missing.
The pearl.
Sophie.
‘Hello there! It’s Sophie, isn’t it?’
Ross was smiling at her. She was genuinely stunned to see him because she had walked past Jonah’s new exhibition time and again, desperately wanting to go in but knowing she couldn’t. ‘Remember me? I’m-.’
‘Hi Ross,’ she said, putting out her hand and composing her breathing. ‘You look well.’
‘Are you going in?’ he asked, as she frowned and looked at the ground. ‘It’s very good.’
‘I haven’t got a ticket.’
‘Can’t Harry get you one?’
‘We split in December.’
‘In December?’ He looked gobsmacked on hearing the news but she felt embarrassed admitting it, going bright red in the process. ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Then he frowned. ‘I’m not a fan.’
‘You and me both.’
It was killing her, the need to ask about Jonah. She stood there wondering how to approach it.
‘Jonah’s doing well, and he’s back for a few weeks working on this exhibition and book launch,’ Ross said, smiling gent
ly. ‘Things are great in his life.’
‘That’s good,’ she said gulping hard and missing him instantly before that was replaced with pain. ‘I’m really happy for him.’
‘Why did you lose contact?’
‘I was having problems at the time and thought it was best to-.’
‘He liked you and was gutted when you changed your number. I know he asked Harry how you were. Jesus! He never said you were divorced.’ Ross then started to laugh. ‘He keeps things close to his chest, doesn’t he, your husband?’
‘Ex-husband,’ she corrected, forcing a smile.
‘Are you going to Jonah’s exhibition? He’s the hot new thing if you can believe it. I’ve known him to take out of focus pictures.’ Ross laughed then sighed.
‘I hear they sold out pretty quickly.’
‘I asked him for a free copy of his book and he refused,’ grinned Ross, stepping closer. ‘I saw some of the work. You know there are pictures of you and the baby. They’re amazing.'
‘I heard but wasn’t sure if it was true.’ Sophie knew she was going get upset so smiled. ‘It was lovely to meet you again and-.’
‘Listen, I’ll arrange to leave a ticket for you any day you want.’
‘I can’t see Jonah again,’ she blurted out, getting upset. ‘So many things have happened since we last met.’
‘Don’t you think you should give him a chance to explain his side of the story? Sophie, he liked you but you were married to his agent. Harry didn’t play fairly when it came to you. You know, Jonah really-.’
‘I’ve got to go and-.’
‘Next Wednesday morning, when all the fuss has died down, go to the exhibition. I’ll leave a ticket.’
‘I’m not sure if I can get someone to look after Amelia.’
‘Then bring her along! What’s stopping you?’
There was nothing.
‘Don’t tell him you saw me,’ she said, feeling shabby and unattractive, her confidence completely decimated at the hands of Harry.
‘Promise you’ll come and see it. You’d be so proud of the pictures. Your little girl is stunning. Give me your number and I’ll text you. I promise not to give it to Jonah.’
‘I’m not sure.’
Then an awful thought crossed her mind. Jonah might regret seeing her again.
It would be humiliating as well as heart-breaking.
The pictures were the only thing left to show that they had known each other, once upon a time.
‘I’m really busy.’
Jonah was exhausted. Since the launch, it had been full on. ‘I can’t go tomorrow. I have so many things to do. Why then?’
Ross had been excitable for a few days but Jonah took it down to him meeting some new woman. Tuesday evening, his best friend was hopping around the living room like a mad bunny on acid.
‘Promise me you’ll be there. Even I’m turning up.’ Then he sheepishly asked. ‘Can you get me some free tickets?’
‘Are you feeling all right?’
‘Never better! You won’t regret it.’
‘Fine.’
‘But you have to stick around until I give you the say so.’
‘Whatever!’
He shook his head and looked at his bank account, the money swelling by the day. Taking the paperwork, he noticed Harry’s invoices were always notably large.
Natalie, his manager, increasingly disliked his agent, and it was hard to hold a civil conversation with the pair if them in the room.
There was talk about getting an agent who specialised in photographers but Jonah didn’t want to be ungrateful.
His manager was sorting it out on speculation rather than confirmation.
His mobile rang and it was Onya.
‘Hello Onya,’ he said, seeing Ross grimace and walk towards the kitchen.
‘Are you coming to the opening tonight of that new restaurant in Battersea that I told you about? It’s the place to be seen and they have some of your prints displayed,’ she said excitedly.
‘I’ve got a meeting tomorrow morning, and have to go to the gallery to check on a few things.’ He heard Ross laugh in the background. ‘You go.’
‘Okay.’ She didn’t sound too upset. ‘Harry’s turning up with a few others so I’ll hook up with them.’ Then she hesitated. ‘Have you spoken to any estate agents?’
‘I’ve been busy,’ he replied, rolling his eyes. ‘Look, why the rush?’
‘You need to get your own place, and now you have the funds.’
‘I like living with Ross,’ Jonah said, watching his friend grin.
‘We have to take the next step in our relationship,’ she persisted.
‘We will!’ he replied unenthusiastically. ‘Have fun tonight!’
Jonah hung up.
‘She seems to like having a famous boyfriend,’ said Ross, returning with two bottles of beer. ‘And when are you moving out?’
‘When I buy a place.’
‘Come on, Onya’s house hunting all over London, and not in the cheap places!’ Ross started to laugh. ‘Jonah, you’re going to have to tell her it’s over. You can’t keep her there for the occasional leg over.’
‘I can’t focus on that right now.’ Then he watched Ross smirk before taking a gulp of his drink. ‘What’s up with you?’
‘I’m your best mate, and never forget it.’
‘There’s a ticket under the name of Sophie Mills.’
She stood there, wondering if Ross had wound her up but when she was handed the envelope, there was a note inside.
‘Enjoy the exhibition and if you’re around at eleven o’clock, I’d like to buy you a coffee. Best regards Ross.’
It was just after ten and there weren’t too many people about. Sophie wasn’t sure about hanging around but realised the guy was nice. She would have to meet with him and accept the offer as a way of thanks.
Walking in, suddenly her brain lost focus as her eyes were compelled to take in the photographs.
Everything was beautiful and she stood there, feeling very proud.
Slowly she walked around and looked at each picture, reading the comments and the date. It was like being drawn into another world.
All she could think about was Jonah.
His creativity and talent.
Then she stood still from the surprise of seeing Amelia in print.
Several photos of her being born and the first time she opened her eyes, to look at Jonah.
And there was the shot of a tear falling onto her baby’s head when Sophie had cried as she spoke about Harry to Fadwa in the woman’s refuge.
It would have been so beautiful had it not been a painful moment.
Pain that was hard to let go, knowing who took the photo.
‘Five minutes.’
Jonah was being pushed by Ross to go in.
‘Just do it! You could have at least shaved!’ Ross grabbed his arm and looked around, then smiled. ‘Go and see who’s looking at what.’
‘I haven’t got the time.’
‘You’ll regret it for forever if you don’t,’ Ross said sharply. ‘Go and meet your people!’
Jonah walked around, keeping his head down, not knowing what he was searching for.
He examined the room discreetly as he didn’t want to be recognised. Signing autographs still made him feel uneasy, not to mention the photographs people wanted to take of him.
Just as he was getting bored and ready to leave, he saw her.
Sophie was looking at the photos of the women in the refuge, and he felt like he was going to keel over.
He stepped to the side so she couldn’t see him.
She was more beautiful than he remembered.
Sophie had slimmed down, but there were the soft curves all around her body, begging for him to caress.
Holding his breath, he didn’t want to surprise, let alone upset her.
He hedged his bets she had no idea he was standing so close.
Then she stopped looking at the pic
ture, glanced at the ground, and turned.
It was like a colossal thunderbolt hitting his body when their eyes met.
He walked straight up to her, seeing her shocked expression, grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips, not caring who saw.
‘Sophie,’ he whispered.
She was blinking, as if uncertain on what to say before whispering, ‘Jonah? I should go and-.’
‘You’re not leaving me again, do you hear? And when you say it had ended before it began, you’re wrong. I didn’t want it to end.’
‘But-.’
‘I fell in love with you at the wrong time.’
‘Stop,’ she said, shaking her head, putting her fingers to his lips. ‘Don’t say things you don’t mean.’
‘You have to listen to what I’ve got to say. Will you give me a chance to explain?’
‘Too many things have happened. You did what you had to do.’
‘Do you care about me? That’s all I need to know, Soph. Tell me now.’
She nodded and he watched the tears roll down her face, as he tried to stop his.
‘It’s been tough for me and-.’
He wasn’t listening as he touched her lips with his fingers then wrapped her in his arms, kissing with all the passion he could muster.
His head was spinning.
It was like finding a missing piece and now he had it, everything was wonderful again.
He slowly pulled away and looked into her large, teary brown eyes.
‘Soph, don’t disappear again, please?’
‘I’m not sure that-.’
‘I’ve just found you, and I’m never letting you go, ever.’
And he meant it from the bottom of his heart.
‘Hello.’
Sophie’s heart was thumping as he stood on her doorstep a few hours later. He was cleanly shaven and grinning. ‘I thought you’d change your mind.’
‘Why would I do that?’ he replied, looking delighted, as he picked her up and walked her into the living room, smothering her face in sweet kisses. ‘Nothing was going to stop me.’
It had been a long wait and she had put Amelia to bed as she watched the clock.
