by Elena Aitken
But today was the day. She’d been at the ridge for a month already. And it was time to come clean. Besides, Gabriella had the crazy idea that maybe if she told Kade everything about who she was, that maybe he’d be able to overcome whatever block was keeping him from claiming her and they could finally be mated. But first, she had to get through the day. And it would be a busy one, which was why she’d slipped out of bed and made her way down to the lodge before Kade had woken up.
Luke was taking the guests on an all-day snowshoe trek, which meant they’d need packed lunches as well as a warm dinner when they returned. And there had been a special request for Gabriella to make a cake for one of the young guests to use in a wedding proposal after dinner. It was going to be busy, but also extra romantic and she had the perfect idea for a cake to make. Which meant she needed to get busy if she was going to have time to decorate it perfectly.
With perfect timing, only moments after she put the cake in the oven, the door opened and Harper, dressed in leggings and a t-shirt that hugged her growing belly, came in and joined her.
“You’re up early.” Gabriella poured her friend a cup of peppermint tea and slid the mug in front of her.
“Coffee,” Harper moaned. “Why can’t I just have a coffee?”
“You know why.” Gabriella plated a fresh cinnamon bun and handed it to Harper. “It’s not good for the bambino. Here. Maybe this will help. I made them this morning.”
“Sugar is better for the baby than coffee?” Harper raised an eyebrow in her direction but tore off a corner of the fresh bun.
“Fresh baking is always better.” Gabriella laughed. “Especially if it’s mi abuela’s famous recipe.”
“Your grandma?”
Gabriella nodded but turned away. She’d been really careful about how much she’d said about her family, but more and more, little details started to sneak out. The more comfortable she felt with the Jackson family, the more she told them. And that could only lead to trouble if she wasn’t careful.
“Were you close to your grandma back in Peru? Was it sad to leave? You don’t say much about your life in South America.”
Gabriella busied herself by cleaning the cake bowl and putting the dishes away so she wouldn’t have to look at the other woman. But Harper didn’t seem to notice Gabriella’s avoidance as she munched on her cinnamon bun.
“Of course it was sad,” Gabriella answered honestly. “But sometimes a change is exactly what you need to live your best life. You know?”
“I completely agree with that. For me, it was getting rid of a gay husband and finding a bear.” The other woman laughed so genuinely, Gabriella turned around and joined in. “But I suppose it wasn’t that dramatic for you?” Harper asked.
“No. It wasn’t quite like that.”
“Well, no matter what brought you to Montana, we’re sure glad to have you. And not just for these yummy buns either. I don’t know what kind of spell you’ve cast on Kade, but he’s like a completely different man since you’ve shown up.”
Gabriella poured herself a cup of tea and leaned on the counter. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”
“Because it’s true. And like I said, I don’t know how you convinced him that mating wasn’t the terrible evil he seems to think it is. Or, I should say…the evil he thought it was.”
“Oh, we haven’t mated.” Gabriella bit her lip. She didn’t want Harper to know how much it bothered her that he kept stopping short of making her his.
“You haven’t? I’m sorry.” Harper’s eyes filled with something Gabriella really hoped wasn’t pity. She couldn’t handle that. Besides, there was absolutely no reason for anyone to pity her. She had Kade. Whether he wanted to mate with her or not, she had him and she had this amazing new life at the ridge and she was happy. She didn’t need him to make it official.
Except she did. And it was more than just her pride and her heart. If she was mated to Kade, even if Carlos found her one day, he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. He’d have to leave her alone. Not only would she be happy—she’d be safe.
It wasn’t the first time Kade had woken up to find Ella already gone. Sure, he preferred to wake her up with a snuggle, a caress or two and a nibble on the back of her neck that would lead to a steamy wake-up way better than any cup of coffee could be. But he also knew that some days she liked to get an early start on the kitchen and that usually meant fresh cinnamon buns. He definitely wanted to be sure he got one of those buns before the guests got them all. But first he should take a side trip to the shed and see whether his brothers needed any help with the plowing.
Having Ella around was supposed to free him up from spending all his time in the kitchen, but it really had just accomplished the opposite. Because of Ella, the kitchen was the only place he wanted to be. As long as she was there.
The sharp bite of the winter air hit him, but Kade didn’t feel the cold. He left his parka unzipped as he trudged through the snow. His body was always running hot these days. In fact, since Ella had shown up. He’d never been more satisfied, in every way, but there were other differences as well. His body temperature, for one. It was almost as if he were burning up from the inside. All the time. His thoughts were often muddled and confused. He’d go through moments of clarity, followed by instances where he was putting sugar instead of flour into the gravy. He’d never been the type to be forgetful or not on top of his game, especially in the kitchen. To say it was unsettling would be a gross understatement. But that wasn’t the most concerning of the changes he’d experienced since Ella had come into his life.
No, it was the way he was completely willing to give up everything he’d been holding on to as truth since Kira went away. It may not have made any sense to his brothers, but Kade’s complete disregard for his bear and everything that went with it had been exactly what he’d needed to keep from going crazy with the grief of losing Kira. Holding on to the anger and almost hatred for his animal and everything it represented, including the idea of mating, was just the fuel he needed to stay sane. But what he felt for Ella was anything but sane, and it was getting harder and harder to keep his bear away.
She’d only been in his life for little over a month, but already he couldn’t imagine if she wasn’t at the Ridge. But at the same time, he couldn’t imagine how she could possibly stay. Not if it was going to make him crazy to be around her. He was damned either way.
“Good morning, little brother.”
“What brings you here?”
Both of his brothers turned to greet him when Kade opened the door of the shop.
Immediately, the heat from the building assaulted him and he stripped off his jacket. “Thought you might need a hand. Maybe I’ll shovel out the side yard.”
“The side yard?” Axel glanced at Luke and they exchanged a look. “I can’t imagine any reason we’d need the side yard in February, Kade.”
“We talked about putting a volleyball net up there for the guests. It could be fun.”
“In February?”
“Why not?” He growled and grabbed a shovel. Maybe with a bit of physical exertion, he could settle whatever was brewing inside him. He needed to do something.
Axel shook his head. “Time for a coffee?”
“Just water. Cold.”
Luke threw him a bottle from the fridge. “What’s up with you?”
He didn’t answer, just chugged the water down. It wasn’t enough. He gestured with his head and Luke tossed him another one. “Thirsty,” he said when he was done.
Axel mumbled something under his breath and Luke chuckled.
“Something to say to me?” He growled at his older brothers. They should know that if he was fixing for a fight, he’d get one. His muscles twitched at the idea of connecting his fist with something. Even if it was one of his brother’s faces. He’d always been the one out of the three of them to jump to physical aggression to solve his problems. Something about being the youngest, needing to prove himself, his grandf
ather used to say. But since denying his bear, the aggression had only gotten worse because it was the next best thing to shifting to relieve some of the pressure. He didn’t even care whether he got pounded by them; he had to do something or he would explode.
“Settle down.” Luke smirked. “I thought having a mate would finally bring you into line. I don’t know how she manages to live with you, but shit, man, you’re just getting worse.”
He hadn’t told them he wasn’t mated with Ella. He didn’t think he’d have to. Really, they should have figured it out on their own. Kade looked away and growled.
“Wait.” Axel put his hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. “You’re…you didn’t….how have you…”
“Fuck.”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Kade?”
“Wrong with me?” He swung around, ready to throw a punch but when he saw the way his brothers looked at him, his anger faded, replaced by an overwhelming wave of defeat. His shoulders slumped and he shook his head. “That’s just it,” he said. “I don’t have any fucking idea. She’s not my mate.” He told them the truth before he changed his mind. “I mean, she is. She is. But we…I…we…”
“You haven’t claimed her yet,” Axel finished for him.
“No.”
“Because you think somehow that makes you weak?” Luke asked, disgust laced in his voice. “Do you think that allowing yourself to open up to a woman and take her into your heart is some kind of weakness? That’s the very thing that makes you strong. What exactly is your problem?” He rose up in front of Kade, clearly ready to give him the fight he was itching for.
Kade flexed his hands into fists. “I never said it made me weak.” He looked right into Luke’s eyes, knowing exactly what would piss him off. “You did.”
His older brother growled and took a step closer. “I know what you want, little brother. And if you think that poking a stick at this bear is going to get you the fight you think you need, you’re wrong. But I’ll tell you one thing.”
“I’m sure you will.”
Luke ignored him and kept talking. “You think you’re better than us by ignoring your bear? You’re not.”
“That’s not—”
“Whatever the fuck you think you’re doing by denying who you really are, all you’re doing is making us all fucking crazy. Including yourself. And if you’re not careful, you’re going to lose the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened to you because you think your bear is some kind of liability. It’s part of you. An important part and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be.” Luke swung out and punched the door next to Kade’s head. “Hell, the better off we’ll all be.” Luke grabbed his parka and stormed out. The door slammed behind him.
What the hell did he have to be so pissed off about? It was Kade who couldn’t stand to be in his own skin, Kade who was itching for a fight to calm his bear, Kade who had everything he didn’t even know he wanted, standing right in front of him. But it was going to slip away because he couldn’t for the life of him get past the idea that if he embraced it, it would ruin everything.
Chapter Seven
After she’d talked to Harper, Gabriella felt more confident in her decision to tell Kade the truth. It was time—long past time—and she knew in her heart that he wouldn’t care what she had to say to him; he’d still feel the same way about her. Maybe he might even be ready to take the next step and claim her. Her body shivered with the idea of being his forever.
Definitely, it was time to tell him the truth about who she was, and then Chloe and Harper and the brothers, too. The Jacksons were quickly becoming her family. She’d be safe with them. Carlos couldn’t find her. And even if he did…
Despite the fact that Gabriella had made her decision to come clean, she still had a job to do. And apparently she had to do it by herself. Kade hadn’t joined her in the kitchen the way he usually did. Axel came in for a coffee and said something about him shoveling out the side yard, which didn’t seem to make much sense, but there was a lot about American men that didn’t make a lot of sense to her.
“Hey, Ella?” Instead of returning to his office right away, Axel lingered in the door, his coffee in his hands.
“Si?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Si. Of course.” She grabbed a towel and wiped her hands before she grabbed the cooler for the lunches she’d prepared for the guests’ expedition.
Axel hesitated for a moment, and for a brief second she thought he might know the truth about who she was. Fear flashed through her. She swallowed hard and forced a smile. “What would you like to know?”
“It’s not really a question, I guess,” he said. “But I should tell you…”
She nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“Kade isn’t shoveling the side yard,” Axel said. “He’s gone.”
“Gone?” The word was dry in her mouth. Like sand. She reached for a glass of water. It shook in her hand but somehow she managed to get some water into her mouth before she set the glass down. It jostled and spilled on the counter, but Gabriella didn’t care about the mess. “Where did he go? When will he be back?” The more important question was, will he be back? But she couldn’t bring herself to ask. Fear numbed her. She couldn’t feel her feet yet somehow she was still standing there.
“Everything’s fine.” Axel took a step toward her, but it was cautious. “He just needed to go away for a bit.”
“A bit?” The fact that she hadn’t felt his absence until the moment Axel said something worried her. She should have known. She should have felt it. But they weren’t mated. They hadn’t strengthened their connection. And now… “Where did he go? Why do I feel like you’re not telling me something? Why wouldn’t he have said good-bye? Told me himself?” Too many questions but Gabriella didn’t care whether she sounded like a crazy person. She was a crazy person. At least she would be if she didn’t get some answers. “Axel? Tell me what’s going on.”
Somehow she registered his hand on her shoulder leading her to a chair. “Ella, please don’t worry. It’s nothing to worry about. I’m sorry—it’s my fault. I didn’t really approach this in the right way.”
She shook her head.
“There was an argument this morning.”
“Argument?”
Axel nodded. “A brother thing.”
“Of course.”
“I gave him an ultimatum,” Axel continued. “I told him if he didn’t figure it out, he couldn’t stay on the Ridge.”
No. Gabriella felt as if she’d been punched in the gut. He had to stay. He couldn’t leave but if he did, she’d go with him. “Wait. What does he have to figure out?” She was pretty sure she knew the answer, but she needed to hear it.
“Kade’s always been…well…intense.” She nodded and Axel continued. “And after he met you, we were kind of hoping he’d settle down some—and he has. But he’s also gotten a lot worse, too. In a different way.”
She knew exactly what he was talking about. Kade’s demons.
“Where did he go?”
“To see our grandfather.”
“Tu abuelo?” She didn’t know much about the Jackson patriarch, just that he’d banished the brothers from the clan because their sister had mated against his wishes. He sounded a lot like her own father. It scared the hell out of her. “Por que? Why?”
“He needs to figure things out on his own. Maybe this will be what he needs. Maybe he’ll get the answers he’s looking for. Or…”
“Maybe he won’t,” she finished for him.
Gabriella didn’t have time to dwell on Kade’s absence. A fact she was grateful for. Even if Kade was gone, she still had a job to do and she’d do it to the very best of her ability. If he’d wanted her to go with him, he would have asked. But he didn’t. She wasn’t going to pretend it didn’t sting, because it did. But if he needed to get away, that was his business. At least that’s what she was going to tell herself. Ultimately, she needed to
trust him and that he was going to do the right thing for both of them. And she did.
The day passed quickly, if not a little quietly. It was different working without Kade at her side. As if the women knew she would be struggling, which they likely did, they took turns coming in to talk to her and keep her company while she decorated the cake that would be used for the proposal later that night.
“So he’s going to propose with a cake?” Chloe was perched on the stool and watched as Gabriella smoothed a layer of buttercream over the surface. “Doesn’t that seem kind of cheesy? I mean, what’s he going to do? Hand her the cake and watch her eat it until she bites into the ring? Where is the ring? Can I see it?”
Gabriella tried not to laugh at her new friend’s opinion. It did seem a bit cheesy, but every couple was different and she certainly wasn’t going to be the judge of what romance was. Not when she didn’t have a ring on her finger, or even a mate of her own. The thought stung a little, so she pushed it away and focused on the conversation.
“I don’t have the ring,” she said. “And to be honest, I don’t really know what his plan is—just that he needed a cake to pull it off.”
“Well, that’s definitely a yummy-looking cake,” Chloe agreed. “And it’ll be an interesting evening, that’s for sure. I’m glad I get to be here to see it. I leave again in the morning.”
“Again?” Gabriella felt a twinge of disappointment. She didn’t want anyone else to leave, but at least with Chloe, it was for work. “I don’t know how you can travel so much and actually like it.”
“It keeps my bear happy to be on the move.” She shrugged. “And it’s okay to leave when I know I always have a home to come back to. I never had that before. It makes me want to come back. And who knows…maybe someday I’ll have a little something to slow me down a bit and stay put.”
