by Elena Aitken
Gabriella swallowed hard. She wanted to believe like he did that it was fate. And maybe it was, but it was also something more. Something he still needed to know. “Kade, I need to tell—”
The shrill ring of his cell phone cut her off.
“Ignore it,” she said. He glanced over at it. “Please.” Instinctually, she knew what it was and they couldn’t ignore it. Harper was still in the hospital and Kade didn’t even know that yet. Something could be wrong with her. Something could be really wrong. She was being selfish and she knew it.
“It’s Luke.”
She was about to tell Kade it could wait, but she would never be able to live with herself if something happened. “Answer it. A lot happened yesterday. It’ll be important.”
“Harper’s in the hospital?”
They were sitting in the Den and Kade’s mind was spinning with the news about his brother’s mate. Sure, he’d objected to her when she’d first arrived at the Ridge, but he could admit when he was wrong, and he’d been wrong about Harper. He’d grown to love her like a sister.
No.
Not like Kira.
But still, he loved her and the news that she was in the hospital with complications from her pregnancy hit him hard.
“How come you didn’t tell me?” He turned to Ella, who sat next to him.
“I didn’t really have a chance.” It was true, but she still looked as if she was hiding something. What else hadn’t she told him? She’d mentioned something…there wasn’t time to think about it.
“What can we do?” Kade turned his attention back to Luke and Chloe. “There must be something we can do.”
Chloe shook her head. “I spoke to Axel earlier. She’s stable but her blood pressure is really high. Too high. They’re monitoring her but she’ll have to stay in the hospital for a few more days at least. I canceled my work trip, so I’ll stick around and help here.”
“Dios mio.”
Kade reached over and grabbed Ella’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “She’ll be okay.” He looked at Chloe again. “Won’t she?”
It was Luke who answered. “Carrying a cub is hard work. And she’s only half bear.”
Ella shook her head in disagreement with what Luke was implying. “She’s strong enough.”
Kade nodded. “Ella’s right. She’s strong enough.”
“Ella?” Chloe raised her eyebrows and looked pointedly at his mate. “You haven’t told him anything?”
He glanced between the two women. Ella turned away, but not quick enough that he couldn’t see the look of panic on her face. “Tell me what?”
“There hasn’t really been a chance.” She spoke to Chloe. “And I still need to explain things to you as well.”
“I know we got a little interrupted yesterday.” Chloe’s face was kind. “And I’m sure there’s a good explanation for everything. But I kind of think that maybe Kade should know first.”
“What?” He grew impatient. “What do I need to know first?”
Ella turned to him and took his hands. The look on her face worried him, though. Her smile was gone. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Clearly.” He didn’t want to be short with her, but his bear bristled. His instincts, as muted as they were, were on high alert. Something wasn’t right and he couldn’t be sure, given the state of his bear at the moment, but it was more than whatever secret Ella had to tell him.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“Tell me here.”
She glanced nervously at Chloe and Luke.
“Sounds like they already know something I don’t,” he said, trying to push his bear down. Getting angry before he had a reason to wouldn’t help anything. “Might as well talk right here.”
“I don’t know anything, man.” Luke shrugged and wrapped his arm around Chloe. “Besides, we’re leaving. Since Axel and Harper are down in town, and our guests are checking out this morning, I convinced my beautiful mate here to take the snowmobiles out. With any luck, we’ll be gone for the day.”
“That’ll give you lots of time to talk,” Chloe added.
“And it’ll give us lots of time to—”
Chloe smacked Luke’s arm to shut him up before she dragged him out of the room, leaving Kade alone with Ella and whatever secrets she had to share.
As soon as they were gone, Kade stood and walked to the window. Something wasn’t right. He couldn’t shake the feeling. He looked out at the parking lot area but the only people out there were the guests loading up their cars. He craned his neck to look farther down the road. But there was nothing. It had been snowing when he got in the night before, but Luke must have plowed the road while he’d been sleeping in. Nothing looked out of place.
“Kade…”
He took one more look outside. His instincts were way off. They’d been foggy for too long. He must be picking up on whatever was going on with Ella.
“Please come sit down with me. Por favor. There’s something I need to tell you. Please don’t be angry.”
He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He couldn’t be angry with her. After all, he had secrets, too. “I’m not angry.” He turned and walked across the room to her. He took her hand in his and sat next to her on the overstuffed leather couch. “And you’re not the only one with secrets. Would it be okay if I went first?”
She nodded the way he hoped she would.
“Please know I never intended to hide anything about myself from you,” he started. “In fact, most of what I’m going to tell you happened long before I met you. But I hope it helps you understand why I’ve been so hesitant when it comes to us.”
“Kade, you don’t have to explain.”
“I do. Because I love you, you and I are fated and more than anything, I want you and me to be mated. But first you need to understand. And then whatever you have to tell me, I’ll be ready to hear that. There’s nothing we can’t face together. Okay?”
“Si.” She nodded, and her beautiful smile reassured him that of course, everything would be okay. “Te amo, Kade.”
* * *
Over the next two hours, Kade filled Ella in on everything that had happened with his mother, his sister, his visit to his grandfather, and most importantly, the realizations he’d come to. By the time he had finished telling her everything, they were both exhausted.
“Are you…do you…”
“I’m fine,” she said. “More than fine because now I understand everything.” She leaned over and kissed him hard. The kind of kiss that made everything okay. More than okay. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on to his lap so she straddled him.
“I’d say you’re fine.” It was cheesy but more than appropriate at that moment. He was done talking. At least for the moment. All he needed was his woman. And he needed her with a ferocity that would not be ignored and was currently pressing into her. Hard.
She still hadn’t told him what she needed to, and it would be so easy to ignore that fact considering Kade was currently kissing her as if his life depended on it. But she couldn’t ignore it. She had to tell him the truth.
Reluctantly, Gabriella pulled back so she could look into his eyes. “I still need to tell you—”
He moved his attentions to her neck and kissed and suckled his way down to the v of her shirt. “It can wait.”
Maybe it could wait. If he kept kissing her the way he was, it most definitely could wait.
No.
She shook her head.
“Kade, it can’t. I need to tell you—”
“Oh, I think it can.” His fingers tugged at the buttons of her shirt and revealed the swell of her breasts, were he started to lavish attention.
For a moment, Gabriella sank into the sensation. Damn, he was good at distracting her. Too good.
“My name isn’t Ella.” She blurted it out before she could change her mind or be distracted by something else. Kade’s mouth froze, his lips poised over her breast. He held the position for so long s
he started to wonder whether he was okay. “Kade?”
Slowly, Kade sat up so he looked in her eyes again. She could see the swirl of emotions roiling through him. He was confused, but something else as well.
“What did you say?”
She swallowed hard, but sat up straight as she repeated herself. “My name isn’t Ella.” She paused long enough for that to sink in before she added, “It’s Gabriella. Gabriella Santos. Ella is a nickname I haven’t used since I was a child. And Rodriguez was my mother’s maiden name. She died when I was a child. I grew up with my father, and my abuela, in our clan…” She took another deep breath. “In Argentina.”
“You’re from Peru.”
“No.” She shook her head. “My name is Gabriella Santos and I’m from the Santos clan in Argentina.”
She couldn’t read his expression. Where only a second ago it had been warm and open, with only a few words Kade had closed off. Closed her out. “Say something. Por favor, Kade.”
“Who are you?” He shook his head slowly, his body stiff under hers.
She clenched her thighs around him, needing to hold on. Needing to be connected. “I’m still me. I’m still Ella. Everything about us is true. It’s real. We’re real.”
“How can that be? You lied about who you were.”
“I had no choice.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she didn’t bother to wipe them away. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry in a long time. There was no point. Tears did nothing. They got her nowhere. Even when she’d gone to her father in tears because Carlos had hit her that first time—nothing.
Her father had looked at her, his normally warm eyes full of love turned to ice. “That’s what men do, Gabriella. You must learn to obey.”
Reeling, she’d left her father’s office that day and gone home. She’d hidden in her room for two days before the bruises had faded enough to cover them with makeup. Two days before she went out in public and faced Carlos once again. He’d sworn he’d never hit her again. He’d sworn he’d never hurt her. But that was just the beginning.
How could she tell Kade all of that? Tell him that the woman he’d fallen in love with had been too weak to stand up for herself? Too scared to leave sooner or just say no to the whole marriage? She shook her head. She couldn’t.
“You always have a choice, Ella. Gabriella. Whatever.” He turned away and it almost killed her.
“Kade.” She touched his cheek, forcing him to turn and look at her. “I’m still the same Ella. I don’t know if I can make you understand. But I think…” An idea came to her. “It’s not all that different from Kira or your mother.”
His face twisted into a scowl and he shook his head. “Don’t—”
“Kade Jackson.” Gabriella grabbed his face with both hands and forced him to look her in the eyes. “Don’t look away from me. I won’t let you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t see how much I love you.”
“Ella…this is—”
“Do it.”
He did and immediately Gabriella could see the love reflected in his eyes. Despite the hurt and confusion, there was love there; she could see it. He might be angry and confused. But he loved her. Of that there was no doubt.
“Now, you listen to me,” she said as firmly as she could. “And don’t say one word until I’m done. Then you can decide if I’m telling the truth or not. Then you decide if you want to be with me or not.”
Chapter Twelve
Of course he wanted to be with her. His entire body vibrated with his need for her. He wanted nothing more than to make her his. He knew that more than ever now. Or, at least he thought he had.
Confusion clouded his head. She’d lied. Everything she’d said was a lie. Everything he knew about her.
She wasn’t Ella?
She wasn’t from Peru?
Who was she?
He looked at her. Really looked at her. Took his time taking in her round hips, the curve of her waist, the swell of her breasts, up to her golden eyes, currently fixed on him waiting for him to respond.
She’d fixed him with her stare and wanted him to listen.
But he couldn’t.
Not yet.
“Kade, I need you to hear me. Por favor. Listen.”
He clenched his jaw.
“I had to lie,” she started. “You don’t understand how it was for me. My father, he’s the alpha of our clan and much like what it must have been like for your sister, he decided who I would mate with, for the betterment of the clan.”
“And you fell in love with someone else and ran off.” His words came out harsher than intended. If she was really so much like his sister, that’s exactly what had happened.
“What?” She shook her head. “No. I mean, yes. I did fall in love with someone else, but not until later. Not until I got here.”
It took him a moment to realize she was talking about him.
“But I did run,” she continued before he could respond. “I had to.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You didn’t have to run. There is always a choice. Just like my mother had a choice, Kira had a choice, and my grandfather did, too. You had a choice, Ella. And you chose to run.”
He couldn’t do it. He wanted to hear what she had to say. More than anything, he wanted an explanation for why she lied. An explanation that would make it all okay. But he knew it wouldn’t be fair to hear it right now. He wouldn’t be able to listen. Not fairly. His bear was right at the surface, in a way it hadn’t been in years. He was way too on edge to have a conversation that could affect his entire life and he didn’t want to say or do anything he’d regret. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
Kade could see the hope in her eyes, the way she was pleading with him to listen and not reject her. More than anything, he wanted to give her that. But he also owed it to both of them to be in a place where he could listen. Really listen. And in order to do that, there was something he needed to do.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “No.”
“No?”
“No, Ella. I can’t right now.” He placed his hands on her hips and as gently as he could, he lifted her off his lap and stood. “I need some time. It’s been a long few days and I need a little time to think about everything that’s happened. I need some time by myself to clear my head before we talk. I’m not saying no forever.” He reached out to her, needing a connection, however small. “I’m not saying that at all.”
Her lip quivered but she wouldn’t cry. Not in front of him. He could see the strength that ran through her. “I wish it didn’t feel that way.” She slipped her hand out of his and stood. “I can see that you need time, Kade. I know you’ve been through a lot the last few days and you’ve learned a lot, but I’m not your family. I’m not your mom or your sister. I’m sure they had their own reasons for doing what they did, but they aren’t mine.”
“Ella, I know. I—”
“No, mi amour.” She held up her finger to silence him. “You don’t know. But you will. I will tell you what you need to know, when you’re ready.” She crossed her arms and hugged herself before she turned away.
He could see her heart breaking right in front of him. He shoved his hands in his back pockets to keep from reaching out for her again and telling her how wrong he was and how none of it mattered. He wanted to tell her all of that. But he also needed to clear his head.
He stood and watched while she walked through the kitchen door, and away from him.
The room felt small. And lonely. Chloe and Harper had done their best to make it cozy when she’d first arrived at the Ridge. Not that she’d spent any time in her little room off the kitchen. Not even one night. Until now.
She sat on the little mattress and for the first time since Gabriella had walked away from Kade that morning, she allowed herself to think about everything that had happened. Really think about it. She’d managed to keep busy in the kitchen, making a batch of soup and prepping for dinner the next night, and other tasks that took up ju
st enough mental energy that she didn’t have to think about how Kade had sent her away. And that’s exactly what he’d done. He didn’t want to listen to her explanation. He didn’t want to hear anything. He’d shut down.
And maybe she could understand that to some extent. Maybe she could understand that he was trying to process everything he’d learned from his grandfather, as well as her story. The timing sucked. Dios mio. Did the timing ever suck.
She ran her hands through her hair and lay back on the mattress.
She’d half expected him to go off and do whatever he needed to do and then come back to her. Come back and tell her that he was ready to hear her story now and he was sorry he hadn’t been ready before.
But he hadn’t done that.
Gabriella hadn’t seen him all day and she felt his absence in her heart.
Silent tears slipped down her cheeks to the pillow. She couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. It did. And she’d never felt quite so alone as she did at the moment in the Den, in the middle of the Montana mountains in a place that for a blink of an eye, she thought she could make a life. A future.
But now…
Siempre recuerde, usted es fuerte. Cree en ti mismo y siempre encontrará el camino.
Always remember, you are strong. Believe in yourself and you will always find the way.
Her abuela’s voice came to her. She’d died when Gabriella was only a child, and there was no way she could’ve known how Gabriella’s life would play out. That Carlos would be abusive, that she’d have to leave it all behind and run. But somehow, she’d always said the right things.
“I am strong.”
She stared at the ceiling above her.
And with Kade, she’d have her mate. But even if he chose not to come back and listen to her, she would be okay. She’d have to be. There weren’t any other options.
