by Elena Aitken
Ryan had been an excuse. A reason to get out. And if she was really honest with herself, she knew that. She wanted to believe that they were fated mates because it made leaving that much easier. But even knowing why she’d fallen so easily, his betrayal still hurt because she had believed him.
“I let him convince me that our love was unstoppable,” she continued. “Because that’s what fated love is supposed to be. Unstoppable. No matter what obstacles are put between you and your mate, when you’re fated, the instinct to be together is said to be so strong, it burns a fire inside you. Being apart is said to cause actual pain. The pull to be together, all-consuming.”
“That doesn’t sound very good.”
“You don’t think it’s romantic?”
Nash laughed. “No. I think it sounds terrible.” He reached for her hand and squeezed. “Tell me the rest.”
Kira nodded and almost laughed herself because she couldn’t disagree with him. It did sound terrible.
“There isn’t a whole lot more to tell except I fell for it. I left with him and his clan mates. He told me we were headed to his clan’s lands in Colorado but we only made it as far as the gate of Yellowstone before my brothers caught up with us.”
“How many brothers do you have?”
“Three. Axel, Luke, and my twin, Kade.” Her heart clenched just saying his name. “My grandfather sent them to bring me back.”
“But you wouldn’t go?”
She shook her head. “I was in love, remember? Fated.” Saying it out loud made her want to spit. Or growl. “And because they love me, they believed me and accepted my choice. They left.” Her heart caught in her throat. She swallowed down the pain, remembering the way they’d turned and walked away from her. At the time, Kira knew they were doing it out of love and respect for her, but it still hurt more than she’d ever thought was possible. “It was only a few days after they left that Ryan dumped me and the truth came to light. He’d used me to get back at my family. You see, the real reason my grandfather didn’t want us to go anywhere near him and his clansmen was because our family had a long-standing feud with the Dixon clan. It dated back generations and my grandfather knew what I had to learn the hard way: nothing but trouble would come from that clan.”
“So what happened? Why didn’t you go home when you learned the truth?”
It was a question she’d only asked herself once, before she’d discovered the harsh reality that her twin brother had shunned her. “They didn’t want me,” she said simply. “I tried to reach out to Kade. Our bond as twins is stronger than a normal sibling bond. When we’re in our bear forms, we can sense each other. Even from a distance. I’m told it’s something like having a mate, but again, I wouldn’t know.” Her voice was devoid of the bitterness of her words. “Anyway, it was the first thing I did. As soon as I got the chance, I shifted and went for a run to call out for him. Nothing. So I did it again. Night after night after night, for months. But there was nothing. I couldn’t even get a sense for him. He’d shut me off.” The knot of pain that she’d carried with her deep in her stomach for years tightened. “It hurt more than the humiliation of Ryan’s abandonment. A lot more. So that final night when I ran through the trees, reaching out for Kade, trying to connect with him, and got nothing, I made a decision.”
“You’d deny your bear,” Nash finished for her.
She nodded and reached for her coffee cup, cold now. “I didn’t deserve it. And there was no point to it. They didn’t want me. I needed to start over and that was easier if I wasn’t a bear.”
“But you are a bear.”
Kira laughed. “Only if I want to be. It’s worked up until now. Until you came along and sensed it.”
“But I only barely sensed your bear.”
“See? It’s working.”
Nash pushed back from his chair and came around the table. He pulled her into his strong arms and squeezed her tight before he pulled back, his hands firmly on her shoulders. “It is most definitely not working. You can’t shut off who you are, Kira. I sensed your bear, even if it was hidden, because you are a bear and the longer you pretend you’re not, the longer you’re delaying your happiness. And Kira, even if you don’t think you do, you deserve to be happy. You deserve everything and that starts with embracing your animal.”
She shook her head and pulled out of his grip. She didn’t want to look at him. The conversation had been too raw and far too real for first thing in the morning. Her glow from earlier had vanished and at that moment, she would have done anything to get it back. “I don’t know if I can.” Her voice was quiet and weak, almost defeated, and she hated it. “I’m afraid.”
“Babe, you have nothing to be afraid of.” Nash squeezed her arms and she looked up into his gray eyes. They were so full of kindness and an understanding she hadn’t seen in anyone since…before…longer than she could remember. “That’s what we’re doing tonight,” Nash declared.
“What?”
“We’re going for a run.” He smiled that toothy, sexy grin she was beginning to get very used to. “It’s been far too long since I’ve let my animal out, and while I thought last night would have gone a long way in satisfying him…well, I was wrong.”
There was a lot in that statement Kira wanted to address, but it would have to wait because there were more pressing issues. “I can’t,” she said. “It’s been too long.”
Nash chuckled. “Admittedly, I don’t know a ton about bears,” he said. “But I can’t imagine that part of things is too terribly different from wolves. It’s not like it’s use-it-or-lose-it situation, Kira. You’ll be able to shift.”
“But…what if….” She trailed off because she couldn’t think of a good excuse. In fact, she was fairly positive that there was no such thing as an excuse good enough to satisfy Nash when it came to this. He was like a dog with a bone. The comparison made her laugh inappropriately, and he took the moment to pounce.
“Come on, Kira. And you know what they say…sex is always better after a good run.”
For the first time in forever, Kira found herself actually entertaining the idea. And then, with the weight of Nash’s hands on her shoulders, his musky scent filling her senses, and his eyes boring into hers, she said, “Okay.”
Chapter Seven
The day had taken forever to go by. But not because Nash had a lack of work to do. In fact, now that the camping season was starting to pick up, his workload had only increased. There were campsite signs to fix from the inevitable trailers that backed into them, more picnic tables to repair, a seemingly unending amount of clogged toilets, and never mind the actual maintenance work he had from the head office.
No, time hadn’t moved slowly because he was bored. All Nash could think about all day was what was going to happen later that night. Getting Kira alone the first time had been nothing short of amazing. Getting her alone the second time would be absolutely mind-blowing. Because as soon as he was able to sneak her away from the cabin, they were going to go out into the woods and shift.
Just thinking about how good it would feel to stretch his muscles and run with Kira by his side fueled the raging erection he’d had almost all day. Not only was he going to have the chance to see Kira in her true form, he’d be the one to help her return to her animal self. He couldn’t imagine the pain and hurt it must have cost her to go without shifting for so long.
But all that would change. Tonight.
Nash pulled into his parking spot at the staff cabin and cut the engine. He had just enough time for a shower and change before they were set to leave. Kira had said something about leaving early so they could have a picnic before it got dark. It sounded an awful lot like a date to Nash, and to his surprise, he had absolutely no problem with that. There were a million reasons he should have a problem with it, or be scared, even a little. But he didn’t. Not at all.
His brother, on the other hand…Nolan would very much have a problem if he heard Nash was going on a date with a bear. Would he eve
r.
But Nash didn’t want to think about Nolan, or anyone else for that matter. No one mattered but him and Kira and what they were going to do later that night. Because however it turned out, one thing was for sure: it was going to be good.
He slammed the door of the truck behind him and was headed up to the cabin when he got intercepted. “You look happy. Must have been a good day plunging toilets.”
Nash narrowed his eyes at the man who’d come up beside him. But only for a minute. He wasn’t worth the energy. “Conner,” he said by way of greeting. Nash had only had the opportunity, if you could call it that, to sit down and talk to the man a few times, but that was all he needed to formulate his opinion. Conner was a bitter, angry guy. Why, Nash had no idea, but as long as he didn’t have to spend much time with him and his toxic attitude, Nash couldn’t care less. “My day was great. Thanks for asking.”
“Mine sucked.”
“I didn’t ask.” Nash flashed him a smile that he was certain would just piss Conner off. “You should really try harder to have more positive working days, Conner. Life is too short to be stuck in a job you hate, don’t you think?”
He reached for the door a step before Conner got there, and held it open for the other man, who only looked more irritated by the gesture.
Nash shook his head with a smile. There really was no pleasing the guy.
“Whatever,” Conner muttered under his breath. “You’d probably have a shitty day, too, if you had guests complaining about the stink of rotting fish next to their campsite.”
Nash stopped short. He hadn’t even thought to ask about the fish problem that morning and despite the fact that they were supposed to have been on a stakeout the night before to see what was causing it, he hadn’t given the problem any thought at all. “There were more fish this morning? I didn’t hear anything.”
“Yeah, there were fish.” Conner went to the shared fridge and took a beer without offering Nash one. “And these ones were rotted and disgusting. They weren’t in the same spot either. Farther downstream, in a pile by site 36.” He cracked the top of his can and swallowed deep. “And they weren’t happy about it, either. Have you ever had to deal with a pissed-off guest, Nash? It sucks because all you can do is smile and nod like an idiot and promise you’ll look into the problem. You’re pretty much a pussy with a—”
“I’d appreciate if you didn’t use that kind of language in here, Conner.” Kira walked into the kitchen. Nash’s dick twitched at the sight of her. “After all,” Kira continued as she walked across the room toward Nash, “it’s not very respectful toward women, and we all live here.”
Conner muttered something under his breath, took another swig of his beer and glared at Kira, who’d come to stand by Nash. “Maybe if you figured out why the fish were dying, I wouldn’t have to deal with the problem at all and we wouldn’t have pissed-off guests who were pulling up and heading to different campgrounds.”
“They’re leaving?” Kira’s voice was laced with concern.
“Of course they’re leaving,” Conner spat. “Why would they stay in a campground that stunk, and was being managed by a woman who was more interested in sneaking off with the maintenance man than running a quality campground where they can spend their family holiday?”
“Okay, that’s enough.” Nash stepped forward, slightly in front of Kira. He had no doubt that she could take care of herself, none at all, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that this asshole was disrespecting his mate and he wasn’t going to stand for it.
Mate?
Nash froze, only mildly aware that Conner had stepped up to him.
Holy fuck. Mate?
Where had that come from? He couldn’t go around thinking of Kira as a mate. There were so many reasons that was wrong and never going to happen.
But there were also a lot of reasons it was so very right.
Nash shook his head and focused on the little man who’d stepped up, fists clenched, very much in Nash’s personal space. He didn’t have time for any disruptive thoughts about Kira. He also didn’t have time for Conner, who was clearly itching for a fight.
“Back off, little man.” Nash kept his voice light and stepped past him to the fridge to get a beer of his own. Not because he wanted one, but he needed something to cool him down and think of anything but what had just happened. Even if it was in his head.
“Want one?” Nash turned to look at Kira with a beer in his hand.
She looked at him strangely, but after a moment shook her head. “No. Thanks.” She turned to Conner. “You need to check yourself, Conner. We may be off the clock, but I’m still your boss.”
Conner glanced between them, his eyes narrowed in a glare. For a second, Nash thought the man was going to challenge him again, but then he took a step back and swallowed hard. “Okay,” he said. It definitely wasn’t an apology, but Kira didn’t look like she was going to press it. “But take care of the fish thing,” Conner added. “Or I’m going to have to tell the head office. I’m sick of dealing with angry guests who think the water is poisoned.”
He stomped off like a teenager having a tantrum. Nash half expected to hear a door slam. Not that he cared, but it was good to have him gone. He really didn’t need to risk getting into a fistfight and losing his job. Especially not over a guy as weaselly as Conner.
Besides, he had way more important things to think of. Like getting Kira out of there and out to the woods, where they could be alone.
Kira would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about shifting. The truth was that she was terrified.
Not of the actual shifting part. That she was looking forward to. The way her body would stretch and relax all at the same time. The feeling of nothing between her and the fresh air. The rustle of the wind in her fur. All of it. Never mind the way her mind would relax. All of the pent-up emotion and energy she’d been stuffing down for the last year would melt away. Sex with Nash had helped, but nothing was quite like shifting into her bear to give herself a reset.
Yes, she was definitely looking forward to the shifting part. That wasn’t the problem.
The part that she’d been worrying about and stressing over all day was far more complicated.
Distracting herself with work all day hadn’t worked, and she’d hoped that when she finally got to see Nash, that just being with him would put her worries at ease. But they’d only increased as she got into the truck next to him and drove to the picnic spot Kira had chosen.
She’d hardly paid any attention on the drive, and it wasn’t until she led him down a trail past a thermal hot spot that would lead to the perfect picnic spot that she had in mind, that Nash finally called her on her distraction.
“What’s going on, Kira? You seem like you’re a million miles away today.”
She forced a smile that she was sure he’d see right through and kept walking. “I was just trying to remember exactly how to get to my spot.” She was a terrible liar. A fact he pointed out a moment later.
“You’re full of shit.” Nash chuckled. “But I know it’s been awhile since you’ve shifted, so I won’t push. I get it. If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
Kira exhaled long and hard. Of course he got it. Nash understood her in a way she’d never experienced before. He just had a sense about her and what she needed, what she was thinking and…well, everything. Being with him was easy and awesome and just got more so the longer they spent together. When she thought about how hard she’d tried to resist him, she could hardly believe it had been less than a month.
So much had changed.
And it was about to change even further.
“So, where are we going?”
She was grateful for the subject change. “It’s this great little spot I discovered. The park hasn’t made a trail up here yet, so only people who know to look for it will find it. And at this time of year, we should have it to ourselves.”
“And what is it?”
“You’ll see.”
She winked at him and continued along the trail that was so faint, she wouldn’t have even known it was there if it weren’t for her bear instincts. Muted as they were, they still helped with anything involving the outdoors.
Another few minutes of walking and they arrived at their destination, an opening in the trees, at the top of a cliff that overlooked the river and a set of bubbling pools of thermal waters, some of which were spouting little geysers. Kira set down her backpack, put her hands on her hips and breathed in a lungful of fresh air, laced with just the slightest bit of sulfur from the thermals below. She surveyed the land around them, and just as she’d expected, they were all alone. “Isn’t it incredible up here?”
Nash wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. “You’re pretty incredible.”
Kira leaned back and sank into him. Everything between them had happened so quickly, but it didn’t matter because the ease between them felt comfortable and familiar while at the same time exciting the hell out of her. With his arms still around her, Kira pointed to the pools of thermals below them. “Watch,” she said. “We’re just in time.”
“Time for what?”
“The geyser is going to erupt. This is the best seat in the house. The best part is not many people even know about this thermal pool because it’s not easily accessible and almost no one knows about this spot. It’ll be like a private show.”
They spread out a blanket and Kira pulled out the picnic before she sat down next to Nash. “How do you know when it’s going to erupt?” he asked. “Is it like Old Faithful?”
“Yes and no. It erupts fairly regularly, but not as frequently as the big famous one. This one only goes off every week or so.”
