by Sam Mariano
Julie swallowed, forcing herself to maintain eye contact.
Normally Emma was unjust in being a bitch to her, but in that moment, Julie couldn’t blame her, so she braced herself to have her ass handed to her.
Then, unexpectedly, Emma smirked. "Boy, did you fuck up."
With that cryptic statement, Emma made her way upstairs, leaving Julie and Anna downstairs to wait for whatever was coming next.
---
When Matt returned with the little white plastic bag and handed it to Julie, shoving her toward the bathroom with little warmth, Julie knew that regardless of the result of that little stick, things were never going to be the same.
Emma seemed to know. She hadn't said anything, but it was as if there was some sort of unspoken understanding floating between Emma and Matt, some kind of, "What do we do with her?" without actually admitting anything had happened.
It was awkward, and even though she hadn’t gotten into the predicament on her own, Julie had the very distinct feeling that she was the bad guy.
Although she was careful not to show it, Julie was a little nervous herself. She was only a sophomore in college—kids hadn't been in the plan for at least another 7 to 8 years, and at that time pregnancy was supposed to be a plan.
And the father wasn't supposed to be married to someone else.
Bad call, she realized on reflection.
Another mistake to add to the pile, she thought as Emma and Matt leaned in toward each other conspiratorially and then Matt nodded, heading into the kitchen.
Julie closed the door, no longer wanting to witness whatever was going on between them. Opening up the package, she briefly looked over the directions and then she started the test.
Her head was aching and her brain was working fast—Jack might not even let her stay with him until she could find somewhere else to stay, and she couldn't find somewhere else to stay unless she had a job to pay for it.
Searching her mind, a flyer popped up in her mind, a babysitter needed on Thursdays… but that wouldn't be enough to pay for an apartment, and she couldn't work full-time and expect to be able to do well in school, especially not if she really did turn out to be pregnant. How would she be able to fit a baby into that schedule? Or the budget—how could she pay for all the things a baby would need by herself? She didn’t even have any friends in Chicago to throw a baby shower for her, so she couldn’t even count on that to help out with some of the things people usually got from friends and family when they had a baby. Would she be able to stay in school full-time? She couldn't even fit her boyfriend into her schedule, and as needy as he was, he wasn't as needy as an infant. Who would watch her baby while she was at work and school?
The father obviously would be of no use, she thought a little sardonically, glaring at the door as if it could penetrate to the other side where Matt stood with his wife, plotting against her.
His wife. The one that, prior to the possible pregnancy scare, he had seemed not to be very fond of.
Boy did they seem like good old friends now, she thought ironically, trying not to feel nauseous as she visualized the two of them outside the door, waiting to see what would happen. In a time of crisis, apparently they were partners.
She had always heard that the two minutes you had to wait for your pregnancy test results were the longest two minutes of your life, but she was so busy trying to construct a new life in her mind that she didn't even realize it had been two minutes until she heard a knock at the door.
"Julie?" Matt asked.
"Yeah?" she called back.
There was a hesitation. "Um…are you…okay?"
By "okay" she figured he probably meant "not pregnant," so she figured it was probably time to look at the results.
Julie took a deep breath and let it out. "All right," she murmured to herself, thinking that whatever the result was, she would remain calm.
Matt had bought the digital tests just to make sure there would be no misunderstandings, and as Julie picked up the test, fully expecting to see "Not Pregnant," she found herself falling back down on the toilet seat as she stared at the stick in front of her face.
A word was missing.
The important one.
The "Not" part of "Not Pregnant."
Matt inched open the door, saying quietly, "Well?"
"How…reliable are these?"
"Pretty reliable," he said. "I didn't want to buy the cheap ones in case they aren’t—Anyway, what did it say?"
Swallowing, she turned the test so that the window was facing him.
"Fuck," he said.
Julie nodded, turning the test back around and looking at it.
Pregnant. She was pregnant.
The door shut and Matt was gone again, but Julie didn't notice. Her brain was vaguely foggy as she stared in numb disbelief at the little window, waiting for it to change or add, "just kidding!" to the result.
She couldn't be pregnant.
Unplanned pregnancy was one of those things that happened to other people.
She couldn't be pregnant. She just couldn't.
But, as she looked at the test once more, she told herself one more time –hoping it might sink in—that she apparently was.
Nope, wasn't sinking in.
Apparently Matt wasn't having such a hard time dealing with the reality of the situation though, because she vaguely heard him walking away uttering a chorus of, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."
That man was going to be the father of her child.
She was going to have a child.
What the hell was she going to do with a child?
Briefly, she thought a bit sarcastically that maybe he would leave Emma and they could be a happy little family unit.
Then she heard Emma's raised voice shrieking, "I want the whore out of my house, Matthew! Get that whore out of my house!"
Although she wasn't sure it was wise, Julie slowly made her way out of the bathroom, and was instantly caught by Emma's red-hot glare.
"You can get your things and get the fuck out of my house right now you fucking slut," she said without preamble.
Matt lightly touched Emma's arm and murmured, "Calm down, honey."
Inwardly, Julie flinched, but she hoped it didn't show on her face.
"Get her out," Emma growled venomously.
"She doesn't have anywhere to go tonight, Emma. Can't you just let her stay in the guest room tonight and then I'll make arrangements for her."
"Arrangements. You'll make arrangements for her?" Emma reiterated.
"Yes," he said, his tone pacifying.
All Julie could do was stare at him. How the hell could a man pull such a Jekyll and Hyde?
"Matt…" Julie said, her gaze saying what words could not.
His gaze met hers, and for just a brief second, she felt that the Matt she knew was looking at her.
But then –perhaps Emma also saw him—his wife began raging loudly. "No! I want that little whore out of my fucking house tonight, Matt. If she's not out tonight, then you can get your ass out tonight."
And just like that, her Matt was gone, and Emma's Matt was back, passively nodding his head. "I'll see what I can do."
Feeling as if she had been slapped, Julie squared her shoulders and tried to avoid Emma's victorious gaze as she turned and walked back into the guest room, figuring she should probably pack her things.
"Oh, and one more thing Julie," Emma said, for the first time using her real name.
Julie paused and glanced back over her shoulder.
Emma's eyes twinkled as she said, "You're fired."
Without a word, Julie continued her trek back to the guest room, trying to figure out what the hell she was going to do.
Chapter Eight-
Julie’s things were already packed and she was sitting on the edge of her temporary bed, staring listlessly at her cell phone.
She had no other option.
She was going to have to call Jack.
Oh, he was going to love
it. Not because he loved her or anything, but because he would love that she was going to come crawling back out of utter desperation, that she would actually have to fall back on him, just like he said she would.
Especially so soon.
The honeymoon sure didn't last long.
Instead of calling, she decided to send him a text message, because that would be easier than calling him. It took her about five minutes to actually make herself compose it, and even after she pushed send it only said, "Hey, what have you been up to?"
The guest bedroom door opened then, and she looked up to see Matt.
For a moment, she got another glimpse of the Matt she had cared about, and his gaze softened a little bit as he came over and sat next to her on the bed.
Neither one of them spoke. There was really no more room for words, and none were necessary.
They would have probably sat there forever without talking, but the sound of Emma yelling at Anna about something and then a pause and a loud wail from Anna broke the silence.
Julie closed her eyes.
Matt sighed.
"You turned pretty quickly," Julie finally remarked without emotion. She was too tired for emotion. "What happened to that great guy I knew?"
Looking at the wall instead of her, he merely said, "What choice do I have, Julie?"
Not letting him get away with that, she said, "You have every choice, Matt. This is a free country we're living in."
"I can't just…uproot my whole family…"
"Exchange 'I can't' for 'I'm not willing to' and that sentence would be more accurate. I'm glad you're thinking about yourself though, because it's not like this in any way screws up my life. I'm an unmarried college student, so an unplanned pregnancy is a cakewalk for me," she said sarcastically.
Her phone chimed, and she sighed, opening the new text from Jack that read: "Fine. How's the husband?"
Rolling her eyes, Julie sat the phone next to her. Nope, she would sooner sleep in her car than go crawling back to him.
"I don't understand," Julie said, shaking her head. "Before you were fed up with Emma and how neglectful she is to you and Anna, and now… you're just her best friend."
"This is not an easy situation," Matt told her. "She's my wife, Julie. She's… been in my life for quite some time, and… really, we've only just met. You can't expect me to so easily discard my wife just because you're pregnant, can you?"
"Not because I'm pregnant— no. Maybe I thought you liked me."
Anna continued to cry from the other room, and Julie heard her call out, "Nana!"
Despite herself, Julie felt burning behind her eyes and she had to fight the instinct to run out and get Anna.
"You're picking her," Julie stated. "I shouldn't be surprised. I don't know why I am. I guess I just believed you when you… acted like you were fed up with Emma's…everything."
He said nothing.
After a moment, she shook her head. "That was foolish of me, I suppose. I know how men are—or I should by now. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I really should have known better."
The Matt she had known was quickly slipping away, that other Matt coming back into focus. "Well, regardless, we have a situation to deal with now, and Emma doesn't want you sleeping here tonight, so what I'm going to have to do is this. I know you don't have anywhere to stay, so I called my brother. He has a really nice apartment and you can stay with him for a little while. He's going to get you a job so that you can get back on your feet, and I will find out when I can get you to a doctor and we'll get this all over as quickly as possible."
Slowly, she turned her head and looked at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, obviously…neither one of us wants this situation, Julie. There's really only one logical way of dealing with it, and that's for you to get an abortion. I will pay for it, of course, and you can stay with Aaron as long as you need to so you can recover. I apologize for—"
"For being a bastard?" she interrupted, standing up and glaring at him. "Where was I when you decided for me what I was going to do with my body?"
"Julie, be reasonable," he said with a hint of irritation.
"What is reasonable? Letting you and your wife make the decision to abort my pregnancy? Nobody even asked me if I would consider this option. What makes you think I'm even supportive of abortion?"
"You don't strike me as someone who would be opposed to a woman's choice," he stated.
"A woman's choice for her own body? Either way, whether I believe in it or not—which, by the way, is something you don't even know about me—it would be my decision to make, not yours, and sure as hell not Emma's. How dare you come in here and tell me how you're going to deal with me, what you've decided to do about my pregnancy. Who made you God, Matt?"
He was frowning at her. "You can't seriously want to keep it!"
"Why can't I? As you're so fond of pointing out, it's my body and my choice. Choice goes both ways, Matt; whether I choose to keep it or choose not to—my choice, not yours."
"I'm married," he stated, irritation flaring up in his eyes.
"You weren't concerned about that when you were fucking me on the sofa, now were you?" she shot back, feeling suddenly disgusted that she had ever let him touch her.
"Julie," he said, his gaze darting to the door as if to make sure no one was listening.
All she could do was shake her head, wondering how she had been so blind to him. Clearly he had played her, and she couldn’t believe she had fallen for it.
"I'll tell you what you can do with your plan, Matt. You can shove it up your ass. I haven't decided what I'm going to do about this situation yet, but I'm not ignorant enough to let you convince me that having an abortion is the only reasonable choice just because that’s what would make your life easier."
"That’s not—It is the only choice that makes sense, Julie."
"You're making me like you less with every word that comes out of your mouth, Matt. Just stop talking. I can't believe you're the same person that I…" Without knowing how to finish the sentence, she just shook her head.
"What would you have me do, Julie?" he asked, looking up at her. "If not an abortion, what would you really have me do?"
Shrugging as she slid her cell phone into her purse and put it on her shoulder, she said, "I don't know, but you better get ready to figure it out, because I just made my decision. I'm keeping it."
"Julie, think about this. You're being irrational."
"You're being selfish," she countered. "Whether you like it or not –whether I like it or not—we put ourselves in this situation, and I can't think of a single responsible reason –other than the lack of planning involved—that I should have an abortion. I'm not 14, I am an adult and a student in college, so I will eventually have the means of supporting myself and a child. I was not raped or taken advantage of in any way, I have only myself and my own stupid choices to blame for what happened. And I adore Anna, and now I'm going to lose her, so at least I know you make cute kids. I may as well just keep the one you gave me," she said, patting her stomach and loading her school bag on her shoulder, pulling her suitcase off the bed and extending the handle.
“You’re being vindictive,” he stated.
“You’re being an asshole,” she returned, wheeling her suitcase toward the door.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Leaving," she stated.
"Where are you going?"
"I have no idea," she stated honestly.
"Just wait a couple more minutes, my brother will be here anytime now, and although I had to…talk him into it, he said that you can stay with him for a little bit until we right this situation."
"That's amazing," she said, shaking her head. "Well, as kind as it is of your brother to be my little pre-abortion shelter, I already told you, I'm not doing it."
With that, she took her stuff and left the room.
"Nana," said Anna, reaching her arms up and gesturing with her fingers for
Julie to pick her up.
Looking down at the baby's tear-stained cheeks broke Julie's heart, and even though Emma was sending death glares in Julie's direction, Julie stopped and bent down to Anna's level, fighting back tears herself.
"You be a good girl, okay?" she said, kissing Anna on the forehead. "I'm so sorry."
Anna just smiled at Julie, not understanding, and grabbed a fist full of Julie's hair.
Julie smiled at Anna's old attempt to keep her close, at the same time wanting to cry. "I'm going to miss you," Julie whispered, hoping she didn't lose her composure. It seemed to be much harder than she was accustomed to, and she figured it must be her newly fluctuating hormones.
Emma grabbed Anna, causing her to yank a good chunk of Julie's hair and said, "Don't touch my child."
Ignoring Emma, Julie forced one last smile for Anna and waved. "Bye, sweetheart."
"Nana!" Anna whined, swinging her body over so that she was reaching for Julie.
"Anna, stop it," Emma snapped, trying without success to straighten Anna's body to an upright position.
Before she humiliated herself by crying at Anna’s reaction, Julie strode to the door and with only a second's hesitation, swung it open, facing the gust of cold night air.
But standing in front of her with his finger suspended about an inch above the doorbell was a man, his brown eyes widened in mild surprise.
"You must be Julie," said the stranger, his gaze flicking down to her luggage. "Wow, you're in quite a hurry, I see."
"You're the brother?" she asked without preamble.
Blinking, he replied slowly, "Yeah, I guess I am. You're the mistress?" he responded.
Frowning at him, she said, "I'm sorry, you've wasted your time. I am not getting an abortion and your brother can kiss my ass."
He merely blinked, although his surprise was evident as he drawled, "Okay…."
"So… I know the whole arrangement was for me to stay with you until I get an abortion, but I'm not going to, so I'm afraid that you wasted your time and energy coming here."
"Your staying with me wasn't contingent upon getting an abortion," the stranger stated. "My brother can kiss your ass, too, as far as I'm concerned. I really don't give a damn whether or not you keep it, I'm just here to fulfill my end of the bargain. Now, my car is right there," he said, gesturing out to a vague outline of a vehicle in the dark night. "If you would like to give me your bags, we can leave hell a little bit sooner."
