by B C Morgan
Someone is storming away, and I can hear someone else running, but I can’t catch sight of them, it’s just bugging me that I’m sure I know who the speakers are. I just can’t put the two together.
I’m shaking it off as I head outside to sit on the grass, with Noah, Elijah and Bella keeping me company. We found a dead bird outside my door this morning with a note telling me to slit my wrists like the bird’s neck. My skin crawls even now as I think about it.
I couldn’t stop my dad from taking this to the headmistress while he was down and they of course called the police, but their being useless with the ongoing investigation as usual and nothing has come of it. They said there wasn’t enough evidence for them to go on, didn’t seem to matter that the cameras conveniently went down anytime something occurred. The school likes to act as though their staying on top of it, but clearly, they’re failing miserably.
“Okay, here’s the catch. I can’t leave the school without my parents' permission, and to get that I will have to go home for the holidays. Only, I need to go to London, and I have no idea how I can make this happen.” I’m laying it all out on the table for them.
“What if you asked your dad if you could come to mine for a couple of weeks, we can go to London and then you can meet the folks.” Elijah’s idea is perfect in theory, but my dad would never agree to it.
“Why would he say yes, he doesn’t even know you,” states Noah. Bella watches them as they try to figure it out.
“You could just say you’re staying with me? my parents are away for the first half so they wouldn’t know that you’re not at mine.”
“Damn Bella you are amazing,” I say. As I throw my arms around her.
“Happy to help, but you better come and see me during break. I’m going to miss you guys.” she sounds like she’s on the verge of crying so I rush to assure her that I will definitely visit her.
I’m sending Dad an email now, while it’s fresh in my mind, and even though he expresses his sadness that I won’t be going straight home. He doesn’t say no, I guess I’m off to see an old friend and also meet the parents. My summer is going to be interesting that’s for sure.
Another month passes and the excitement of actually getting out of this school is amazing, no more sick letters and dead animals. No more adapting photos of Elliott and writing messages in dripping paint that is supposed to resemble blood. I’ve had my tablet stolen, and my shower head adapted so the water dyed me bright pink – similar to what they did in Private Benjamin. I’ve had my clothes covered in itching powder and hot soup poured over me, so yeah, I can definitely do with the break.
But before we get to leave there’s a party coming up and a fight between Amias and Harrison. I don’t care what that jackass thinks, I won’t be missing it. I never miss one of Amias’ fights and I won’t start now because of who his opponent is.
We’re all seated in the front row, waiting for Amias to come out and get in the ring. I’m worried because I could see how nervous he was, and he isn’t usually like that before a fight. Not to the extent he was earlier anyway.
“I’ll be back in a sec, I need to go make sure he’s okay,” I say as I stand up. They try and talk me out of it but I won’t be stopped, I won’t be able to switch off if I don’t see for myself that he really is okay.
I check that the coast is clear before entering his changing room and a warm buzz fills me as I take him in. In nothing but a lightweight dressing gown and knee length shorts, he’s making my mouth dry.
“What are you doing in here?” he asks as he comes over to me.
I won’t give myself time to think it through as I lean up and kiss him, gently at first until he takes control and it becomes hard and bruising.
When he pulls away, I feel flushed and he has this hungry look in his eyes that makes my stomach somersault.
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay and wish you luck.” I’m breathless and stammering a little, but it doesn’t stop me from smiling up at him and lean a little closer.
“You’ll be in the audience little cub, everyone knows you’re my good luck charm. And stop worrying, I’m fine. Harrison is an incredible boxer and it’s intimidating, but I’m confident I can get the better of him. Now get back to your seat,” he says as he slaps me on my ass, making me moan in surprise.
“You cheeky sod, just you wait until I get you back for that.” I wink at him and I think I’m flushing all over, but I’m beyond caring right now.
“Promises, promises,” he replies with a wink of his own and one last breath stealing kiss before I return to my seat with a huge smile on my face.
The worry is still eating away at me, but I believe in him and I know he can do this.
I sit down between the guys and we wait as Amias and Harrison are announced, they’re not allowed to fight dirty so nothing will go wrong, right?
It starts off fine, Amias takes a few hard blows to the face and abdomen and even though I know he’s hitting Harrison hard, it doesn't seem to be having much of an effect. I’m holding both Elijah’s and Noah’s hands, and I’m holding on like they’re my lifeline.
“It’ll be okay,” Noah whispers as he kisses my temple and returns his attention to the fight.
They’re starting to tire as it hits the twenty-minute mark and Amias will definitely walk away with a broken nose. He pulls his arm back before sending his full weight into it and everything stops, before playing out in slow motion.
Harrison turns his head at the last minute, as Amias sends his fist into the back of his temple and he’s falling to the ground like a sack of spuds. Everyone is cheering as the ref counts it and Amias is announced as the winner, but Harrison still isn’t moving.
Amias is the first one out of the ring, right as the nurses enter the and the standby paramedics are soon following. Amias looks terrified, I have no idea what is happening, but I won’t leave him to deal with this by himself. It isn’t long before I’m standing beside him, holding him as he shakes.
Harrison isn’t responding, his pupils don’t even react as they peel back his eyelids and shine a torch. It’s not long before he’s being lifted up and out of the ring and carted away into an air ambulance. Amias’ victory is turning into a nightmare and we have no idea how this will play out.
It’s midnight and we haven’t heard any news, other than Harrison is in a stable yet critical condition. Amias is a wreck and I refuse to leave him, the staff tried to make me but when they saw what that was doing to him, they relented. They can jog right on, I’ll stay for as long as he needs me.
The guys have popped their heads in, but he doesn’t want to see anyone else, so instead I’m sitting on his bed. My back is leaning against the headboard and his head is in my lap with his arms wrapped around my stomach. I really hope nothing happens to Harrison, there’s no way Amias could deal with that. I’m struggling with my own demons and my victim is still alive, even if forever changed.
“Do you want me to get you something to eat or drink?” I ask softly, running my fingers through his hair. Every now and then it makes him sighs.
“No, just stay like this with me, please cub. I just need you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” I say as he squeezes me tighter and I hear him softly say ‘mine’. I am, but not fully.
I think I may be falling hard for him, for all of them but can you really love more than one guy? I mean, Elijah’s mum does, and now more than ever I really need to speak to her. And despite everything, I hope Harrison will be okay. Not just for him but for Amias’ conscience as well, he’s too good to have a death on his shoulders for the rest of his life.
I must have drifted off; my neck is stiff, and my arse is definitely numb. I’m looking down at Amias who still has his head on my lap. He called me his good luck charm, please let that be true.
“Henleigh.” He lifts his head up slightly to look into my eyes just as there’s a knock at the door.
His face is so pale I swear he’s a ghost and h
e’s shaking, so I get up and answer the door for him. Please be good news, please be good news.
“Miss Monterey, I need to speak to Mr. Sallow Can you give us a moment please?” Mrs. Hutchinson may pose it as a question but really, she’s telling me to piss off.
“I want her to stay.” That’s all I need to hear, so I return to his side and wrap my arm around him.
“Very well, Mr. Welles has been placed into a medically induced coma. You are not in any trouble, and we know it was an accident, but you won’t be able to participate in any more fights for the time being.”
“So, he’ll be okay?” I ask hopefully but her face does more to deny it then her words ever could.
“Look I’ll be straight with you, this cannot go any further, but you have the right to know. The impact to his head has caused a bleed to occur on his brain. We’re not sure if there are any other injuries as of yet or what the impact will be. We have to hope he will wake with little to no side effects but it’s very early days. This is only preliminary, and his family is understandably upset. They were concerned this may have been done with intent.” Mrs. Hutchinson sounds beyond tired, and she looks as though she’s aged thirty years overnight.
“That’s ridiculous, you can see what this is doing to him,” I shout, losing my cool and she holds up here hands in a playing gesture.
“I know, I’ve known this boy ever since he came to this school and I know that is not the case. I could see with my own two eyes that his hit wasn’t malicious and I’m doing everything I can to ensure his family knows this too, but for now there will be no more fights for you. I’m sorry Amias,” she lays her hand on his shoulder for a moment before excusing herself, and I hold him while he cries.
I’ve never seen him like this before and it’s breaking my heart, please let everything work out okay in the end. He’s my freaking warrior.
“I don’t want to get back in the ring, I can’t do this again,” he says as he furiously wipes at his face.
I take his wrists in my hands as I pull them away from his face, before releasing him and holding his face in my hands instead. He tries to look away, but I won’t let him. I gently brush his tears away with the pads of my thumb before dropping kisses across his cheeks, anywhere a tear travelled.
“This isn’t your fault and no matter what happens I’ll be here, I promise you my warrior, I will not leave your side.” I place a kiss on both cheeks again, then the tip of his nose and one more on his forehead. “Even if that means I kidnap you for the summer and drag you along with me. You’re stuck with me now Amias Sallow.”
I drop one more kiss on his mouth which he returns without hesitation, it’s different this time. Soft and full of emotions that I can’t bear to name just yet, it’s breaking and mending my heart all at once. How are we going to survive this world, when all it does is cause us pain? Maybe just having each other will be enough to get us through, please let it be true.
Amias is excused from classes for a week and me and the girls are given passes so we can get clothes for the summer party. It doesn’t feel right buying dresses to have a party when Harrison is lying in the intensive care ward. The girls feel sorry for him but it’s more of a general concern, but it’s different for me.
I understand what Amias is going through, only he isn’t hiding from it like I did. Don’t go there Henleigh, no good can come from it.
I pick up a pale pink dress, which is surprising for me as I don’t usually go for this colour, but it’s stunning. And I’m teaming it with silver kitten heels and a teardrop jewellery set.
The girls are complaining about being hungry, but I can’t think about eating right now. Instead, I tell them that I’m going to grab something for Amias, and I’ll meet them back at the school. Luckily, we were brought in by two cars as Roxie joined us later, so I take her ride and it isn’t long before I’m standing outside of the ICU.
What am I doing here? He’s an arsehole who told me to my face that I should go and kill myself and yet here I am. Fighting with myself on whether or not I should go and see him.
I had already phoned ahead and knew he wouldn’t have any visitors until later, the only problem is I had to lie and say I was his girlfriend to even get to see him. They weren’t going to, but I think his mum or dad were there at the time and they said he’d want me there.
I feel so bad for lying, but I need to see him with my own eyes, for Amias.
I walk in and I’m quickly shown to his room, he’s wired up to so many machines I don’t know where to look.
“I know it looks scary, but he’s doing better than it seems,” says the nurse who’s escorted me in. She checks a few things off of his chart before leaving and giving us privacy.
“Hey Harrison, I know you don’t want me using your name, but you haven’t really got a lot of choice at the moment. I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I hate you for the things you’ve done and what you got the girls to do, I can’t help but think you were responsible for what put me in here as well. But even if that is true, I still hope you make it through this unscathed. Not just because of Amias but because, no matter what you’ve done to me, you don’t deserve this.”
I hold his hand and talk about mindless crap, I even read the sports section from a newspaper that’s been left on his table. I feel like an idiot, but I don’t feel right leaving knowing that he’ll be alone for a few more hours. So I stay, up until half an hour before his parents will arrive, because I do not want to have to meet them and admit to my lie. I’m not his girlfriend. In his eyes I’m the enemy.
Mrs. Hutchinson is surprised by my request to continue visiting him, and unsurprisingly, she refuses. I’m not sure what she thinks I’m going to do, but I don’t really have a leg to stand on, so I have to let it go.
Amias wants to visit him but his parents have refused, at least for the time being. He’s finding it hard and he’s been keeping to himself a lot more lately. I think he’s only really spoken to either me or Noah. Of course, everyone finds things easier when Noah is around.
One issue that has arisen however, is that Elijah has asked me to go with him to the party and even though I want to say yes, it doesn’t feel right. Just because he would be open to sharing me, doesn’t mean the others would and I already know Amias is the jealous type and wouldn’t want to share. I just don’t think I could choose between them and it makes me want to speak to Elijah’s family even more.
He isn’t pleased by my refusal and I really don’t trust the huge smile that overtook his face when he said he completely understood. Oh no that boy is up to something, and I doubt it’s anything good.
It’s why I feel so nervous as all three of them sit down with Ivy and none of them, apart from Elijah, is smiling.
“You need to sort these guys out, before I get back with my food. I am fed up with being the manliest one here and I haven’t even got a dick,” she says and glares at Elijah when he offers his hand for a fist bump.
“What’s going on?” I ask, cautiously, this could be about anything, but my gut is telling me it’s about Elijah asking me to be his date.
“Oh nothing, you know just this idiot telling us how we should all be your date for the summer party. As if that would even work,” says Amias. His tone is dark as usual but the haunted look in his eyes is new.
“It’s not that difficult, we go as a group and we all get to dance with her. Why are you making such a song and dance about it all?” Yeah because that sounds so simple, I swear he lives in the clouds. “There’s nothing wrong with dating more than one person.” His words are like a punch to the gut, all this time I’ve been thinking about how much I want them all. I hadn’t even considered that they may want me to share them as well.
“Elijah, shut up. He didn’t mean it like that, he’s on about how there’s nothing wrong with you dating more than one person, not us,” Noah cuts in and I feel confused.
“You don’t want to date me though.” Hasn’t he made this clear enough already, wha
t is he trying to do to me. Talk about a head fuck.
“Not yet no, but I meant what I said to you in the hospital. If I can find a way to quiet my demons, then I’m fighting for you. I don’t know if I can share, but I’m not saying no either,” he rushes to add, before giving me my favourite smile of his.
“I am, I don’t share, and I won’t share my cub. If she wants to be with me great, but honestly right now, a party is the last thing on my mind. You guys want to go that’s fine by me, but if Henleigh decides she’s ready to try a relationship. Then it’ll be just me and her or I’m out. Until that moment, do what you want.” So final, maybe there really is no changing his mind and I don’t know if I’m selfless enough to give him up.
I think this is worse than having a bucket of ice thrown over you, in two-degree weather. He’s fine with me kissing the others as long as I don’t want to be with them, fuck me. I could lose Amias if I choose wrong. But what if making a choice in the first place, is the wrong choice to make?
“Enough, I will go to the party by myself, if you want to dance then ask. Otherwise I’m going stag, and you can sort this out between yourselves.” I shoot them all with my best stare, showing them that I mean business. “And as for you Amias, I’ve already told you that I’m not going anywhere, and you are not getting rid of me that easily. So, sort yourselves out and I’ll see you when you stop arguing over things that are irrelevant.” I stand up and give them one last glare before turning around and walking away. I won’t storm off, but I also won’t look back.
“What did you do this time?” Ivy says to the guys as I make it to the door. I roll my eyes as I imagine her expression when Elijah talks about his ‘great’ idea.
I’m intercepted by Bella and Leah and they’re more than happy to eat their lunch outside instead.
I can’t believe I lied to everyone at school, I don’t even know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was Octavia shouldering me in my still tender ribs that were finally getting better or the dozen razor blades slid under my door. Maybe it was just the fact that I can’t take much more and have to get away for a little while.
